Meet the Breitbrats: Carrying on the Work of Andrew Breitbart, Only Really, Really Badly
After a period of mourning, they decided that the best tribute to their fallen leader would be to follow his example, i.e., yell incoherently at people with whom they disagreed.
So they ran some old video of President Obama and yelled at the media for ignoring it. Then they yelled at a TV movie for making fun of Sarah Palin.
We never thought we'd say this, but Andrew will be sorely missed.
The many achievements of Andrew Breitbart we won't repeat here, as they were well covered at the time of his death by all the mainstream media outlets he denounced as liars and scum.
But Breitbart's death made his influence on rightbloggers more obvious than ever, and the more devoted of them -- we might call them Breitbrats -- swore to take up his fallen standard and march into the teeth of the Lame Stream Media.
Some showed their devotion with videos. This one shows Breitbart yelling things like, "the new media is taking over where the old media failed!" and "put your cell phones and your Blackberrys up in the air!" with a hip-hop soundtrack, which the auteurs perhaps hope will bring more African-Americans into the movement -- at least, the ones who've never heard of Shirley Sherrod.
If that's too edgy for you, here's one in which acolytes stare into the camera and announce "I am Andrew Breitbart" as they once stared into the camera and announced "I am John Galt." In others, they held up "Breitbart is Here" signs at rallies for that other new media martyr, Rush Limbaugh.
The libertarian bloggers at Reason magazine paid their tribute: "Breitbart didn't simply risk the ire of indignant liberals. He insisted on it," said Nick Gillespie. "He was genuinely, convincingly, overwhelmingly outraged at the workaday biases of liberal media, academia, and entertainment, and always positioned himself smack dab in the center of it," said Matt Welch. (Libertarians, for those who didn't know, are conservatives with social pretensions.)
Some acolytes started up a "djbreitbart project," the purpose of which seems to be associating Breitbart's name with cool tunes from decades gone by. (Example: "Andrew was a punk rock Republican who never slowed down. Ramones | 'I Wanna Be Sedated' #djbreitbart.")
Some distributed stickers and T-shirts saying "I am Breitbart" and such like. Some worked that newer form of propaganda, the Twitter hashtag -- for instance, #war, which may have made them feel warlike and butch.
"We are at #War and need to fight back in the field of ideas," said Fuzzy Logic. "Hey @gawker," said @brandondarby, "The unkind words you spewed when my friend died will cost you. #War #Breitbart," etc.
Sissy Willis attempted to promote an "#armyofandrews" hashtag, "a play on Glenn Reynolds' Army of Davids," she explained. "Like the conspiratorial 'dog whistle' of our statist adversaries' nightmares,' Willis elaborated, "Breitbart's passing was a call-to-arms for the freedom fighters to ratchet up our defense of the Shining City..."
I am Breitbart -- or will be as soon as the drugs kick in
DaTechGuy complained that "the left is going nuts with joy on twitter [at Breitbart's death]," but then showed a very gracious tweet from Democratic operative Donna Brazile, who called Breitbart a genius. Comity, right? No, #war! "It is Donna Brazile's tweet that explains why the left hated him so better than any other," roared DaTechGuy, "...they understood both his genius and fearlessness and believe they will no longer have to face it." With some people, folks, there's absolutely no point in being nice.
"Andrew Breitbart was one of the kindest, most generous men I've ever known," said Ben Domenech. (Say, isn't that a line from The Manchurian Candidate? Well, Domenech is best known as a plagiarist.) "...He was confident," Domenech continued, "that if only the people knew the truth, if only they had something other than the New York Times to give it to them, they would choose the right path." (And so he invented Fox News.)
Inevitably, some of the brethren declared that Breitbart was murdered by the communists/Obama. "Everybody feels the same way, that this guy was murdered," said radio host "Mancow" Muller, as reported by Alex Jones. Why? "Andrew Breitbart had in fact planned to release information that would 'destroy Barack Obama' on March 1st, hours after his untimely death," reported Jones.
"Was conservative activist Andrew Breitbart murdered?" asked RedState. "It is possible and the issue must be raised for one reason only: Because knowing the malicious temperament of the radical left in America that hated Breitbart, we should not rule out that they killed him."
Twitter lit up with the accusation. But despite their suspicion that The Man was out to get them, these Breitbrats didn't hide in basements, nor encase their crowns in tinfoil, and thus hope to evade the ObamaHitler death squads. No, they bravely stood on their hind legs and did the work of the Lord.
So, you may be wondering, other than by chest-pounding how did the Breitbrats follow the example of their fallen leader? Basically, by yelling at Hollyweird and by cooking up a Really Big Scoop on Obama Hitler -- the Really Bigness of which was proven, in their view, by the Lieberal Lame Stream Media's refusal to acknowledge its Really Bigness.
The Breitbrats at Breitbart's Big Hollywood were, for example, all over the HBO production of Game Change, which made fun of Sarah Palin's 2008 campaign and was therefore treasonous.
Many conservatives dismissed the movie as lefty propaganda -- for example, Commentary editor John Podhoretz grumped that the filmmakers didn't choose the best '08 campaign stories: "You know how Obama had to choose a VP and couldn't pick Hillary b/c of Bill and chose an idiot who embarrassed him?" he tweeted. "Wrong party, though." (We don't think Podhoretz would have liked watching that story all the way to the end, though.)
But few bothered to get worked up about it, nor to defend too strongly its subject, Sarah Palin; even partisan flagship RedState said, "I think most of us can now admit that [Palin] wasn't qualified for national office."
At Big Hollywood, though, it was #war.