Mega Millions Jackpot Swells to $540 Million: What Not To Do With The Money

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The Mega Millions Jackpot has grown to $540 million. If you didn't know, that is a lot of money -- said to be the highest lotto prize awarded ever in a multi-state game.

Of course, even if you bought a whole bunch of tickets or joined an office pool to increase your chances of success, you probably still wouldn't win, because your odds hover around 1/176 million.

(For a bit of statistical context, your yearly chance of getting struck by lightning, is about 1/775,000.)

But if you do get the lucky ticket in Friday's drawing -- and really liked Brewster's Millions -- here are a few dumb ways to spend your money.

In no particular order...

Fancy Feast: You're a mega millionaire, so you can afford to treat your cats right -- all gourmet-like. At around $.63 per can, you could be the proud owner of 857 million cans of this stuff, which would make you cat food rich (and weird.)

1968 VW Bus/Vanagon with Flame Design:This $5,100 bad boy is still up for grabs on eBay, and will transport you to the RV park of your dreams. Make cross country travel even more kitschy than in indie movies. Or, do your patriotic part to eliminate cultural cliches by buying 108,000 such vans and destroying them all.

Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me With Science": Downloads cost $.99! So wastefully annoy yourself 545,454,545 times.

Fifty Shades of Grey: You could buy 54,000,000 paperback copies and give them to libraries nationwide. But they probably don't want that much sadomasochistic mommy porn.

U.S. Savings Bonds: LOL.

(Note: Runnin' Scared did all these calculations ourselves. But we're not mathemajicians, so they might be a teensy bit off.)

Follow Victoria Bekiempis @vicbekiempis.


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