Rightbloggers Denounce Rick Santorum's War on Porn -- As a Liberal Conspiracy
Other rightbloggers recognized that Santorum and liberals were not, in fact, in cahoots, and defended him on this basis. But they weren't defending his anti-porn crusade so much as his right to have one without anyone hearing about it: They claimed that by using Santorum's own words against him, liberals were being sneaky and unfair.
"Why is this suddenly coming up now?" complained Allahpundit at Hot Air. "Did the media simply notice a longstanding statement on Santorum's website about porn or is he actively circulating it, presumably to counter the meme that he's anti-woman?"
Robert Stacy McCain claimed the story was old news ("THAT STATEMENT HAS BEEN ON SANTORUM'S WEB SITE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS, PERHAPS FOR MONTHS," he yelled), and anyway Gingrich and Romney had also said crazy things about porn (which, if liberals had revealed them, would doubtless also be no fair to talk about). "Why this cheap political 'gotcha' hit-job deserved headline treatment at the Drudge Report, I don't know," sighed McCain. "But for intelligent people who call themselves 'conservative' to fall for such a dishonest media stunt as this is ridiculous."
"It's aimed at the credulous folk (of left, center, and right) who, through prejudice and/or ignorance, buy the media caricatures of social conservatives and fear (or pretend to fear) what a President Santorum might do," explained Pundit & Pundette.
"CNN Hypes Santorum's 'War on Pornography,'" complained NewsBusters. "Santorum has not made the issue the centerpiece of his campaign," they insisted, and besides, the "'Enforcing Laws Against Illegal Pornography' appears at the very bottom of Santorum's 'Issues' page of his website..." And he didn't use a very eye-catching font, either!
A few of the brethren actually defended Santorum outright. "The truth is, many on the putative 'right' fear religion -- and they'd rather take a Romney mandate in the ass than feel scolded for liking to beat off to Japanese anime by a guy who actually believes in all that Jesusy shit," gibbered Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom. "And they've made it clear that, where their 'conservativism is concerned, they're more comfortable backing [Romney]... than they are being tut-tutted about their own kink... The problem is that many 'conservatives' fear Rick Santorum actually means it."
"We are not going to solve the myriad of problems we face as a nation -- economic, social, political, etc. -- until we get our moral house in order," said The Bay State Conservative News & Opinion Journal. "Believe it or not, God is trying to sending America a message. And, if we don't listen, we may end up like ancient Babylon... in ruins."
We salute these cowboys for their old-school approach. But we can see why so few of their comrades joined them in it: They sound kind of crazy, whereas the rightbloggers who oppose Santorum because he's a liberal... well, they sound crazy too, but in a fresh and interesting way.
Look, Mitt Romney is cruising to the nomination, and the whole campaign will be about convincing voters that as President he will not fire them and, once they have starved to death, use their desiccated husks as insulation for the mansions of the 1%. They've got to find some way to keep their imaginations alive.
(* We realize that one reason rightbloggers might find it easy to denounce abortion, contraception, and Sandra Fluke, but difficult to denounce porn, is that abortion and contraception mostly affect women and porn mostly affects men. But it's our way to look for more charitable explanations of our subjects' behavior than rank sexism, racism, etc. This gig gets too depressing otherwise.)