Rightbloggers Denounce Rick Santorum's War on Porn -- As a Liberal Conspiracy

Other rightbloggers recognized that Santorum and liberals were not, in fact, in cahoots, and defended him on this basis. But they weren't defending his anti-porn crusade so much as his right to have one without anyone hearing about it: They claimed that by using Santorum's own words against him, liberals were being sneaky and unfair.

"Why is this suddenly coming up now?" complained Allahpundit at Hot Air. "Did the media simply notice a longstanding statement on Santorum's website about porn or is he actively circulating it, presumably to counter the meme that he's anti-woman?"

Robert Stacy McCain claimed the story was old news ("THAT STATEMENT HAS BEEN ON SANTORUM'S WEB SITE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS, PERHAPS FOR MONTHS," he yelled), and anyway Gingrich and Romney had also said crazy things about porn (which, if liberals had revealed them, would doubtless also be no fair to talk about). "Why this cheap political 'gotcha' hit-job deserved headline treatment at the Drudge Report, I don't know," sighed McCain. "But for intelligent people who call themselves 'conservative' to fall for such a dishonest media stunt as this is ridiculous."

"It's aimed at the credulous folk (of left, center, and right) who, through prejudice and/or ignorance, buy the media caricatures of social conservatives and fear (or pretend to fear) what a President Santorum might do," explained Pundit & Pundette.

"CNN Hypes Santorum's 'War on Pornography,'" complained NewsBusters. "Santorum has not made the issue the centerpiece of his campaign," they insisted, and besides, the "'Enforcing Laws Against Illegal Pornography' appears at the very bottom of Santorum's 'Issues' page of his website..." And he didn't use a very eye-catching font, either!

A few of the brethren actually defended Santorum outright. "The truth is, many on the putative 'right' fear religion -- and they'd rather take a Romney mandate in the ass than feel scolded for liking to beat off to Japanese anime by a guy who actually believes in all that Jesusy shit," gibbered Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom. "And they've made it clear that, where their 'conservativism is concerned, they're more comfortable backing [Romney]... than they are being tut-tutted about their own kink... The problem is that many 'conservatives' fear Rick Santorum actually means it."

"We are not going to solve the myriad of problems we face as a nation -- economic, social, political, etc. -- until we get our moral house in order," said The Bay State Conservative News & Opinion Journal. "Believe it or not, God is trying to sending America a message. And, if we don't listen, we may end up like ancient Babylon... in ruins."

We salute these cowboys for their old-school approach. But we can see why so few of their comrades joined them in it: They sound kind of crazy, whereas the rightbloggers who oppose Santorum because he's a liberal... well, they sound crazy too, but in a fresh and interesting way.

Look, Mitt Romney is cruising to the nomination, and the whole campaign will be about convincing voters that as President he will not fire them and, once they have starved to death, use their desiccated husks as insulation for the mansions of the 1%. They've got to find some way to keep their imaginations alive.

(* We realize that one reason rightbloggers might find it easy to denounce abortion, contraception, and Sandra Fluke, but difficult to denounce porn, is that abortion and contraception mostly affect women and porn mostly affects men. But it's our way to look for more charitable explanations of our subjects' behavior than rank sexism, racism, etc. This gig gets too depressing otherwise.)


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47 comments
gocart mozart
gocart mozart

We shall shrink the size of government until it's small enough to fit inside a tube sock.

RPorrofatto
RPorrofatto

The war on pornography, scenes from the trailer. Working title: Pearl's Harbor.CU of soldiers in facepaint and camo, preparing for battle outside a Blockbuster.Sergeant Santorum (Ben Affleck): Bowser! Trimtab! You go full frontal! Bowser (Chris Rock): You know what I like, Sarge.Santorum: Jewboy! You come with me.Jewboy (Adam Sandler channeling William Bendix): Aw, Sarge, again wit da back door?They storm the building. It's abandoned, broken DVD shelves scattered on the floor.Santorum: Shoot! It's that damned Intertube. We gotta go higher up.

Ext. Supreme CourtCUT TO Santorum and his men flanking an office door, shrieks and loud moans coming from within. They burst into the room. Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas are goggle-eyed watching the ass-reaming climax of The King's Breech on a giant screen. Santorum averts his eyes as if scalded by acid.Sergeant Santorum: NO!Bowser (staring at screen): Man that is some nasty shit happenin' there.Jewboy: What's wid him?Sergeant Santorum (gasping for air): The...the FROTH! THE FROTH!Scalia (Wallace Shawn): Dulce et santorum est pro patria copuli, eh boys?(to be continued)

Bethany Spencer
Bethany Spencer

 And he didn't use a very eye-catching font, either!

The bigotry against Comic Sans rears its ugly head everywhere.

mchuge
mchuge

Even though Romney is the flipper flopper conservatives and libertarians both loathe, he really is the only mostly sane one who has a chance of beating Obama.

Jaime Oria
Jaime Oria

 "Like it or not Mr. Santorum, the shoe of liberalism fits you like a glove."

Errmm - shouldn't it fit like a shoe?  Perhaps there's a kink out there wherein you - or sexxy ladies - wear shoes on your hands (Rule 34 and all that...) but I'm not familiar with it.

Seerak
Seerak

So you've discovered that the Right, unlike the Left, is not monolithic - that it contains internal contradiction, tension, and genuine dissent due to fundamentally different ideas between its putative camps.

Big deal. As always with mainstream minds, you walk right up to the escape hatch, but you find it unremarkable and pass it by, because you don't know that you are in a trap.

Mrs Tilton
Mrs Tilton

The truth is, many on the putative 'right' [would] rather take a Romney mandate in the assAt least it's not being shoved down their throats. Progress!

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

Those on the right may try to parse words by saying Santorum isn't a conservative because of his stance on porn and using the powers of gov't to trample on individual rights. But that's where they're wrong; that is conservatism. Conservatism is not against big gov't in principle it merely wants it in moderation. Liberals and conservatives are just two sides of the same coin and that's why Santorum and Fonda on the surface make strange bedfellows but are really allies in spirit. People need to drop liberalism AND conservatism and uphold a philosophy of Individualism and its political corollaries of individual rights, liberty, and property.

Weldon Berger
Weldon Berger

I have to admit, I did not see this one coming. As it were.

Substance McGravitas
Substance McGravitas

Believe it or not, God is trying to sending America a message.

Who can question the Lord's wisdom in choosing Matt Drudge as messenger?

Greg McDonald
Greg McDonald

 The froth on the cake was the ad for Houston's First Baptist Church, snuggled up there at the bottom of your drama.  heheh  it says "tunnel level" heheh

Horatius
Horatius

 DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYummmmm, that was good. You owe me a pair of khakis, a Dell XPS, a Razer Naga gaming mouse plus medical expenses.

Tracy Mohr
Tracy Mohr

"Like it or not Mr. Santorum, the shoe of liberalism fits you like a glove."You know what they say - no glove, no love.

coozledad
coozledad

Shoes on his hands? I think they call that "slapping Mussolini".. 

lacp
lacp

Two wetsuits and a Romney mandate?

McSalmon
McSalmon

I am going to respectfully disagree with you here, because it is the only post of many that has to deal with the topic of the article. Conservatism are not for government in moderation, they are for government that treats them as privileged above the rank and file (i.e. everyone not from round here). Some approve of a new crusade to purge the wickedness of America like they were paladins rooting out witches, but I doubt most of the conbloggers want to end their access to a never ending stream of lady bits. So, how do some of them react? Some defend him, some attack him as if he were Not Of The Body, and the rest just want it to go away. This is all self-interested spin on an issue that has gained recent traction so they can protect the candidate they want to win and next week, no one will remember it. But it IS instructive to see the Right pretend they don't have a Purity Squadron when it's politically inconvenient.

The stuff about 'individualism and how awesome it is' I will leave, since this is vague platitudes not related to policy, or likely to be.

Phila
Phila

"Conservatism is not against big gov't in principle"

I might have a little more patience for libertarian "thought" if its adherents didn't sound like they'd just arrived on this planet last week.

"People need to drop liberalism AND conservatism and uphold a philosophy of Individualism and its political corollaries of individual rights, liberty, and property.

Oh, absolutely. 'Cause if there's one thing this troubled nation needs, it's more overentitled, terminally adolescent douchebags braying about "individual rights" as though it were some kind of ultimate argument-settler that had never occurred to anyone before.

You know what else would totally kick ass? Freedom!

Horatius
Horatius

 Uh oh!! We have a Paultard infestation.

lacp
lacp

Actually we already live under such a philosophy of individualism.  It's just that it only applies to 1% of the population.

Provider_UNE
Provider_UNE

Been awhile since I have seen a Libertaritoonian in the wild! It is quite clear that they see themselves as the HoneyBadgersOfFreedom™ while occupying the creamy center of the political divide.

Kind of cute in a way..

Bethany Spencer
Bethany Spencer

 People need to drop liberalism

Last time I dropped liberalism I couldn't find it for weeks. Turns out it had been hiding under conservatism's fat ass.

lacp
lacp

I thought it was a "Khrushchev reach-around."

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

I don't think we disagree. What I had written was Conservatism is for big gov't in moderation not just gov't itself, as the article points to Santorum's theocratic power-lust.

As for the Individualism I will point out that I am an Objectivist. I agree with the philosophy of Ayn Rand, Objectivism. Politically this means the recognition of an individual's right to life, liberty, property, and the pursuit of happiness. This is manifest under (laissez-faire) capitalism which is the only social system that does recognize and respect individual rights. Just for anyone with doubts I will point out that our current system is not capitalism but a mixed economy of mainly socialism and a little capitalism. Obviously this is merely asserted at this point but if you want a real proof of her ideas I suggest those interested read Rand's works both fiction and non-fiction.

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

Maybe you'd get more respect if you didn't trash other commentators w/ fallacious arguments from authority and mocking sarcasm. Next time you come across someone you disagree w/ try responding w/ an argument that addresses something they brought up. Then we might think there's more to you than a vacuous windbag blowing hot air!

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

Wrong. Thanks for playing try again. I have no interest in Paul or Libertarianism. I'm even more radical than him b/c I believe a woman has a right to her own life w/ the logical consequence that abortion is a right and I'm a strong defender in national self-defense meaning I oppose all forms of totalitarianism be they communist or inspired by Islam, Iran is the greatest threat to American life and needs to be destroyed.

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

The philosophy that has led us to our current state (economic and cultural) is collectivism and its political expression of statism. Its has many manifestations such as the welfare state, business subsidies and tax exemptions, bailouts, antitrust, eminent domain, dept. of edu., etc. A philosophy if individualism would inculcate a culture of reason and respect for rights. Even looking at the headlines you know that not to be the case today.

Provider_UNE
Provider_UNE

As for the Individualism I will point out that I am an Objectivist

Yeah, we got that, which is why we have been mocking you without mercy:

-- There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Deal with it!.

McSalmon
McSalmon

Well, if I am reading you rightly, and I think I am, you're saying that the conservatives only want government in 'moderation', but that this is just as bad as liberalism, because they both require some government that impacts on the rights of the individual. And if that is not right, then I would like to know where I got it wrong, before I continue the argument. Because I am quite the mensch and want to be absolutely sure that my basics are right before anything else.

Jennifer
Jennifer

Really?  Our system is "mostly socialist" and only "a little" capitalist?

Enlighten us, then, on where in the modern or historical world we should look for a pure capitalist model, because unless you can, this perfect system you dream about is a unicorn.

As for "Objectivism," that's just a fancy word for greed, as anyone who has emerged from emotional adolescence clearly recognizes.

Provider_UNE
Provider_UNE

Then we might think there's more to you than a vacuous windbag blowing hot air!

As a fellow traveler on the intertrons, I must warn you that the skidmarks on Phila's shorts (provided they actually existed) would best you in a cage match, blindfolded.

You think you are treading water and have yet to discover that you have gills..

Phila
Phila

"Mocking sarcasm"

Oooh, the very worst kind!

What I was implying, in my graceless way, is that formulations like "individual rights are the political corollary of individualism" are substanceless at best and really, really stupid at worst. The correct response to this criticism is not to whine about tone, but to say something that's actually interesting.

As I said, many political crusaders of your ilk seem to be recent immigrants to this ball of confusion. Here's a pro tip: When you ride forth to enlighten the Internet with your matchless wisdom, there's always a chance that people will make fun of you not just for having nothing intelligent to say, but also for being a humorless dick. Please do make a note of it.

Also, you seem to have no clue what an argument from authority is. Nine out of 10 licensed and bonded chiropodists agree that this renders your opinion invalid.

GeoX
GeoX

Wait a sec; I must've missed something: why again are we supposed to care if Mr. Claims-Not-To-Be-A-Glibertarian-But-Talks-Just-LIke-Them "respects" us?  If such a person respected me, I'd know I was doing something wrong.

DBake
DBake

Maybe if you could be taught to think conceptually, yes.

Does anyone have any idea what this is supposed to mean?

Spadizzly
Spadizzly

You must have me confused w/ some knee-jerk nationalist..

Your knees have nothing  to do with this, Randroid boy.  You need to go back and learn some history.  Go ahead  and Google "Mossadegh." and then explain to us why you favor a more Newtonian approach to US foreign policy.

gocart mozart
gocart mozart

By that logic, we have declared war on Iran since about 1958.

McSalmon
McSalmon

 ...which involves bombing Iran because they seized the embassy over 30 years ago.

Hm. Individualism is tricky.

Atticus Dogsbody
Atticus Dogsbody

"Maybe if you could be taught to think conceptually,"

You need some lube there, boy?

But, seriously, if you want to spew self-contradictory, pseudo-libertarian bullshit, be my guest. Just don't complain when your adolescent arguments aren't taken seriously... or with civility, dickhead!

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

You must have me confused w/ some knee-jerk nationalist because I most certainly do not approve of US foreign policy past or present. I advocate a *principled* (as opposed to today's relativistic, opportunistic, pragmatic approach) policy of national self-interest.

Spadizzly
Spadizzly

  "...I recognize that Iran has declared war on us since 1979 and has been acting on this premise ever since."

When making "historical" arguments, you really should exercise more Caution:

Here, I'll get you started:

What happened in Iran in 1953?What role did the US (and  UK) play in those events?How did the events of 1953 lead to the events  of 1979?

Go ahead now.  I'll wait.

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

Maybe if you could be taught to think conceptually, yes. Individual rights does not equate to pacifism. That would destroy rights as such. Rights must be defended against any would be aggressors. If you think defending your life is bad and that all cultures are equal then say so, be honest about where you stand or rather where you don't stand.

kevinh
kevinh

Yeah, nothing says, "individual rights" like bombing the shit out of people.

Michael Caution
Michael Caution

As I said I'm for self-defense and destroying threats to our national safety. As such I recognize that Iran has declared war on us since 1979 and has been acting on this premise ever since. If someone comes at you w/ a knife and you have a gun and can stop him would you shoot? For a lengthier discussion I suggest "The Foreign Policy of Self-Interest: A Moral Ideal for America" by Peter Schwartz and "Winning the Unwinnable War" by Elan Journo.

wileywitch
wileywitch

Oh. So you're into destroying nations, now. How cutting edge. Perhaps you'd like to dabble in genocide to ease your worried mind. 

lacp
lacp

Not to get overly personal, but are you related to Lemmy?

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