Scientology on the High Seas: A Bunch of Dope Smokers, Say the Greeks!

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In November we started a new feature here on Fridays: the Voice has obtained hundreds of copies of L. Ron Hubbard's previously unpublished "Orders of the Day," which he gave to crew members as he sailed the Atlantic and the Mediterranean. Our documents cover the period from late 1968 through 1971, and this time we're looking at what was happening the week of March 4 through 10 during those years.

This week, L. Ron frets over Greeks spreading scurrilous rumors...


[Confused? Go here for our primer, "What is Scientology?" For recent controversies in the church, check out our stories on Debbie Cook, secrets of the Super Power Building, and our open letter to Tom Cruise. We know these 40-year-old ship's documents aren't for everyone, but they've been giving us some interesting insights into the mind of Hubbard as he ran Scientology from a yacht at sea. Check back here often for more breaking news about the church.]



1969

March 8: Beware Greeks bearing news of draft dodgers and marijuana smokers!

1. BIG NEWS

The Melbourne org and Melbourne are wide open again. The police have stated they will not prosecute and are returning the meters and books they seized long ago. The ban bill is considered useless.

So FDA, which began it, lost. Now Melbourne is open. If we keep working at it we'll roll back the rest with luck.

LRH, COMMODORE
8.3.69

2. THE RUMOURS

The landing ships out in the harbour "breifed" their men on how this ship was out of bounds as "full of draft dodgers, marijuana smokers, free love, hypnotism," said to have been briefed by their "upper echelon." We are sending Ensign Dunleavy and a boat out (the sea sled) to call on their senior captain to get it handled. Their men are upsetting the Greeks also. We'll take care of it. Captains in the US Navy who "can't handle their men" (the one thing Admirals in the US go bonkers about) are seldom promoted any more. We hold all the aces. We'll handle it on the lower echelon level and run it back to some psychiatrist they've got aboard, I'm sure.

Poor old SMERSH.

LRH, COMMODORE
8.3.69

3. All crew are once more reminded that they must report data which is of interest to Intelligence to the Intelligence Officer.

The arrival of U.S. Naval vessels and contact with their sailor and marines and comments made by them are of interest to Intelligence very definitely. SO PLEASE DON'T FAIL TO REPORT.

Those crew who have reported are thanked. Those who have not yet done so are requested to do so immediately.

W/O Monica Quirino
CS-2 7.3.69

4. LATE ITEM!!

CONDITION

To celebrate the Melbourne win and the progress the crew is making again, the ship is upgraded to Emergency.

Liberty is restored to those who attest to the QM they are upstat.

LRH, COMMODORE
8.3.69 0300 hrs.



1971

March 7: LRH's bathwater no longer gives him a brown ring!

PRODUCT CONCENTRATION

We are concentrating on the following products:

A. Income

B. Students, quality and rapidity.

C. Preclears, volume and completions (we have the quality)

D. Additional future income not limited by ship size.

Organizationally an HCO existing and doing its job will bring things straight, Stewards will care for and Deck will secure operations and give the appearance needful. Thus Products A, B and C become possible.

As it is the lack of a high efficiency HCO, FAO, Stewards FSO and Deck FSO pose a potential breakdown of our Product line. Hence, a concentration on these points is very vital and I intend to get formed and operating.

We have some very fine units and activities aboard. Amongst them are the Flag Bureaux, the E/R, and the Household Unit. The Tech Divs HGC and its fine auditors and staff are now operating splendidly. Registrar and the Income Dept FAO are coming up fine. Most other units are in the twilight zones. HCO, Stewards and Deck have been almost nowhwere.

UNACKED WIN

Way back when, the ships water used to be chocolate colored and gave one a brown ring when he bathed.

This changed with the regular cleaning and care of filters. Today the water is crystal clear and stays so every day.

Thank you, Chief, E/R and Snipes. It is greatly appreciated.

LRH, COMMODORE

This is the first time I remember seeing a reference to Hubbard's curious use of the word "ack" in these documents. During auditing, I'm told, a subject will be told that his progress is a "half-ack," meaning that he should continue, that he's not all the way to his "win." So when Hubbard talks about an "unacked win," I think he means that it's unadulterated, or a full win. Am I right, veterans?

I bring this up because for LRH's 101st birthday, which is Tuesday, we have something rather remarkable, and it will include a reference to a "half-ack" -- and I want to make sure you get the sense of it. (Also, this is a blatant tease. Are you getting excited yet for March 13, the holiest day on the Scientology calendar? It's going to be a blast.)



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BONUS 1970s AWESOMENESS

While L. Ron Hubbard plied the seas, back on dry land Advance! magazine was thrilling Scientologists with its tales of "OT Phenomena." Those church members who had reached the higher levels of spiritual training shared their stories of superhuman powers with fellow dupes -- er, enthusiasts. This excerpt is from Issue 23, April/May 1974...


Since my wife and I have completed OT IIIX, we play a game with each other called "tag." We place our bodies in a safe environment and then one of us will pick some place on the planet to hide. It's the other's job to find out where the hiding place is.

Last night I hid in a mummy in a buried pyramid in Egypt. It's no trick to find each other. Wanda's and my affinity level is high enough so we can spot each other quickly, regardless of mock-up. But the game is for Wanda to figure out where I am hiding.

Using her exterior perceptics she pieces together clues from what she sees and feels, hears, etc. This is a real fun game and helps us to practice OT abilities.

Ability requires practice so that it achieves full function. This game is how Wanda and I practice and have fun too. -- Mike Madias, OT


I have to say, this stunned me. I mean, what a great use of your OT powers! Since you can peel away your thetan from your meat body any time you want once you've reached the heights of the Bridge up near OT VIII, why not go traipsing around the world to play an epic game of hide and seek! And of all the places you could insert your noncorporeal spirit self, of course you'd want to worm your way into the confines of some ancient sarcophagus! (Do thetans have a sense of smell? Just wondering.) This is astounding! Just think of all the famous coffins around the world that you could hang around in after paying several hundred thousand dollars to Scientology. There's Grant's Tomb! What's Liz Taylor's casket like these days? Hey, Michael Jackson is still fairly fresh, right? The possibilities are endless. I don't understand why they aren't advertising this on billboards -- Go Clear and spend the night with your favorite dead celebrity!


**********
Tony Ortega has been the editor in chief of the Village Voice since March, 2007. He started writing about Scientology in 1995. You can reach him by e-mail at tortega@villagevoice.com, and if you ask nicely he'll put you on his mailing list for notifications of new stories, which tend to come out each and every morning at 8 am, but can suddenly appear at any time of the day. You can also catch his alerts at Twitter (@VoiceTonyO), at his Facebook author page, on Pinterest, a Tumblr, and even this new Google Plus doohickey.

New readers might want to check out our primer, "What is Scientology?" Another good overview is our series from last summer, "Top 25 People Crippling Scientology." At the top of every story, you'll see the "Scientology" category which, if you click on it, will bring up all of our most recent stories. As for our regular features, on Thursdays we do a roundup of world press, on Fridays we visit L. Ron Hubbard on the yacht Apollo circa 1969-1971, on Saturdays we celebrate the week's best comments, and on Sundays we publish Scientology's wacky and tacky advertising mailers that people send us.

As for hot subjects we've covered here, you may have heard about Debbie Cook, the former church official who rebelled and is now being sued by Scientology. You might have also heard about the Super Power Building, Scientology's "Mecca," whose secrets were revealed here. We also reported how Scientology spied on its own most precious object, Tom Cruise. (We wrote Tom an open letter that he has yet to respond to.) Have you seen a Scientology ad on TV lately? We debunked some of the claims in that 2-minute commercial you might have seen while watching Glee or American Idol.

Other stories have looked at Scientology's policy of "disconnection" that is tearing families apart. You may also have heard something about the Sea Org experiences of the Paris sisters, Valeska and Melissa, and their friend Ramana Dienes-Browning. We've also featured Paulette Cooper, who wrote about Scientology back in the day, and Janet Reitman, Hugh Urban, and the team at the Tampa Bay Times, who write about it today. And there's plenty more coming.



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128 comments
Guest
Guest

Couldn't picture LRon not going near Morocco or Lebanon, or both, and not sampling the hashish.

Will-o-the-wisp
Will-o-the-wisp

Can any Sea Org Member lurking here give us a list on what you and your Faux Navy have accomplished besides pretending to be relevant? What a Joke. Thanks for the laugh.

DodoTheLaser
DodoTheLaser

Tony, "half-ack" in Scientology lingo is pertinent to the "Admin" side of things entirely.

It's related to a compliance to the order and nothing else. If a Scn junior gets a "half-ack"from their senior, it simply means that a senior is satisfied with with their junior's progressto fully implement the original order, but still waits for a desired result/product.

This all there is to "half-ack".

Note to Indies:

It was never about "blind leading the blind", but rather "manipulated leading manipulated".

omg
omg

an unacked win is a win which was not noticed and validated when it occurred, like you got your stats in affluence but your senior reamed you out because she was downstat. A half ack is a way to let someone know their speaking or origination has been heard but to do it in such a way as to encourage them to continue like. 'Got it' or 'right!' is a complete ack but 'yeah... and' would act as a half ack or 'wh...at?'

Too Much
Too Much

This could be the insane loon Mike Madias --

Mike Madias is both a clinical sociologist by training and a newspaperman by trade. He writes about economics, philosophy and politics even when writing a sports story. A very curious investigator and analyst and a natural story teller, he has been a journalist for 12 years. Prior to settling down as a journalist, Mike made a living in a number of ways, inlcuding but not limited to: free lance writer traveling all over the United States; - ordained minister without congregation working on the street with returning Vietnam War veterans; Merchant Marine Able Bodied Seaman, Ship's Chaplain and Medical Officer; Drug Counselor at a Los Angeles pastoral counseling guidance center; Pastoral counseling of ontology patients and their families; Construction trades, restoring historic homes - Art Dealer to architectural firms and corporate art collections - Stock Broker on Wall Street - Portfolio Manager, Washington DC; Systems Analyst and Designer of Computer Networks Social Worker and Community Organizer - and a Psychotherapist.

He lives and works in Detroit. ***

© 2002 Mike Madias 

Too Much
Too Much

american-partisan DOT com/bios/madias.htm

I wonder if that's the same Mike Madias that wrote-up his insanity.

guest
guest

A 17 yr. old black boy was shot dead by a neighborhood watch man in a gated community in Sanford, Florida (20 miles north of Orlando). I just read about it on Yahoo. The shooter's name is George Zimmerman. Maybe Scientology is too much on my mind lately, but since someone recently mentioned that a lot of neighborhood watches are run by Scientologists, I went ahead and googled. 

According to http://www.truthaboutscientology. KOM, there was a George Zimmerman in Scientology at least in 1998, when he completed the SOLO NOTS AUDITOR CERTAINYY COURSE, PART I. 

Another site discussing the shooter says he is 28 years old.

I don't intend to slander anyone, but just wondered if anyone here knew the George in the church and if it might be the same guy. 

Too Much
Too Much

"...and run it back to some psychiatrist they've got aboard, I'm sure..."

So the insane fucked loon thinks that having information about his drug abuse being exposed on shore was due to someone with the mental health industry having infiltrated his crew. What a fucking insane loon.

Ghost of Charlie
Ghost of Charlie

Everybody's got something to hide except me and my mummy?

bobx
bobx

"Ack" in military comm-speak is short for "acknowledge" meaning "confirm:  message received" or "OK, I've copied down that part, go on" etc.  Sometimes the negative "nak" is used, that is "I couldn't hear you" or "I can't understand what you're getting at".  So a "half-acked" audit is one where the subject understood some of it but didn't get the rest and an "unacked win" would mean, you really had a win but you haven't admitted it to yourself yet.

SP 'Onage
SP 'Onage

These are suppose to be the most brilliant minds on earth? Fruitcakey.

F_Randy_Hullabaloo
F_Randy_Hullabaloo

All the OT "wins" and "abilities" are routinely incredibly silly. After spending countless hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars doing the auditing, a person gains the silly "ability" to play Let's Pretend.  This is routinely done by Scientologists at all "levels."  There's often a lot of talk about beams the thetan can "send out." It becomes a self-fullfilling thing and the claims go on and on in the most absurd ways.

OTIIIx (lower case X), I think, means "expanded." O Tea Three Expanded

Sarasota Breeze
Sarasota Breeze

I've been watching the slow motion train wreck that is the COS since 2008 and the more I read the ravings of Hubbard the nutjob, the more mystified I become.  Who in the world would follow him?  Then I started looking into other cults like the Peoples Temple, Branch Davidians, Heaven's Gate, and Children of God and  even after all the horrible stuff that went on ( beatings, child molestation, self castration, prositution, murder), amongst the people who didn't die or leave there are still some who believe that the leader had some special insight.

Hubbard's entire life was based on pulp fiction.  He was a lonely boy being raised by a mother and his maiden aunts.  His father was mostly absent away at sea and he was filled with grandiose dreams that he was the most handsome, smartest, most brilliant boy in the whole world and that he was going to do great things.  He spent his whole life being a cowboy on the range, searching for buried treasure, saving whole galaxies from evil overlords, a hero on the high seas, a great explorer, a brilliant scientist, a dashing spy, a sorceror supreme.  (Danger to the right of me, danger to the left of me, danger all around me but through my cleverness and bravery I managed to pull through). You'd think his life was written by Edgar Rice Burroughs or  Robert E. Howard. (but not as good).

There's a saying that I'm sure Scientologists have never heard of "If you meet the Buddha on the road. Kill him!" which I take to mean don't follow anyone elses path, follow your own.  Especially don't follow Walter Mitty.

Sorry about the rant.

Too Much
Too Much

Hubbard never drew a sober breath, the insane criminal was constantly stoned after he was ejected from the Navy. Part of his insanity was the result of his heavy drug and alcohol abuse.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Well done Mr. Mike Madias super OT....

Now, if you just had the 'Study Tech' you could get 'Word Cleared' and Viola!

OT IIIX .....  becomes..... OT XIII .... and your dyslexia is cured!!

but who cares about word clearing when you are having so much fun Necromancing.

(I get that OT IIIX is really OT III - Xpanded... but it was fun to summon the ghost of Tom Cruise past and his vanishing dyslexia.)

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Typical Hubbard posts his ABC's of what needs to be done....

A. Make Money.

B. Lots of warm bodies in the academy... cram'em thru... quick and dirty.

C. Lots of warm bodies in the auditing chair.... qual em as fast as you can...

D. Make More Money.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Last night I was musing over what single word best describes Hubbard....

I am seriously considering the nomen:  

 Fucktard...

Love
Love

 I have been told that Buddha split himself to 3. One part of him in LRH one part of him in Dali Lama and i forgot who is the 3th one....

Larry Brennan
Larry Brennan

Oh God the memories!! I was on staff at AOLA (Advanced Org of Los Angeles) with Mike and Wanda back then in the 70s when they had that "win". They told me how they used to do that and I thought it was really cool then. Yeah that probably happened! brb waterpipe 

SFF
SFF

On the Debbie Cook front:twitter.kom/#!/MikeBoard1200"Scientology hearing over. Judge pushed march 23rd hearing back 45 days. Church told to play nice"

Ivy Mapother
Ivy Mapother

It's amazing when you separate your fresh water lines from the bilge lines. The RPF was a good idea after all.

sketto
sketto

I love the Advance stories. In today's edition:

"To pass the time, my wife and I like to think of a place somewhere in the world and then see if the other person can guess where it is. Thus, we have demonstrated our OT powers."

I think Advance deserves some belated awards for excellence in humor writing.

palmas74
palmas74

Any news on Debbie ?????

sharkattacksteve
sharkattacksteve

Crazy Ron raving about "SMERSH" once again proving he was insane. SMERSH was disbanded in the USSR in 1946 and the only place it existed in 1967 was the Bondian fantasy works of Ian Fleming.

I wonder if Hubbard saw himself as "M" or "Blofeld" ?

Ron
Ron

I doubt getting rid of the brown ring helped Hubbard much with his oiliness.

Kate Bornstein
Kate Bornstein

Side note: the reason that the cover of Advance! (we always had to include the exclamation point) was all Buddhist-y is because that's when the old man wrote and published the book "Hymn of Asia." It's a long, rambling poem he wrote to make himself sound, well, all Buddhist-y—because he was telling Buddhists everywhere that he, L. Ron Hubbard was the predicted reincarnation of Buddha. And lo—a red-haired laughing Buddha shall appear in the West, and his name is Matreiya. Or something like that. It was an overly ornate padded-green hardcover book with gold inlay title. The text was all done in a large calligraphic font. You know—that's how Buddhists do things, right? And LRH was SURE that he would instantly convert all Buddhists to Scientology with it. Do I have that right, Jefferson?

guest
guest

I forgot to add that the boy who was shot was legimately in the neighborhood, visiting his dad. He was unarmed. The shooter was not arrested. 

N. Graham
N. Graham

Besides great explorer, cowboy on the range, etc. add Messiah and Savior of Mankind.

sharkattacksteve
sharkattacksteve

Great comment, I especially like the Buddha quote. I've been using "don't follow leaders, watch the parking meters" but I like that one even better.

I was thinking that the other day that Hubbard was like Peter Pan living in a world of make believe refusing to grow up, too bad other people got caught up in and bought into his fantasy. I would have thought "TR-Alice" might have been a dead give away to most but I guess not.

John P.
John P.

Comment of the day.  Eloquent and succinct.  Not a rant at all.  

I'd add to the mix of pulp fiction that must have influenced Hubbard's grandiose dreams the original Tom Swift boy inventor books, which were published from around 1910 to the 1940s.  I have a bunch of these and they're fascinating.  Unlike the second series, which many of us of a certain age may recall, the first series was long on imagination and short on credible science.  

Essential to the series format was that Tom was a "natural" inventor who required no formal education to dream up astounding new devices and then build them.  Tom Swift often seems uncannily able to invent things by working hard to avoid the tedious and confining scientific method.  And out pops the finished invention, as if by magic! No need for tedious experimentation, controlled double-blind trials, failed prototypes, etc.  Sound familiar?

SFF
SFF

While not a single word, I favor the phrase, "L. Ron Hubbard: he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy."

grundoon
grundoon

 LRH got the "brown ring" part.

MarkStark
MarkStark

Was it Jerry Lewis? I hope not.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

One part BuddhaOne part LRHOne part Beelzebub

Shaken not Stirred.

Too Much
Too Much

 SMERSH never existed, the Soviet Union had a number of domestic and international entities that committed crimes and murder for State purposes, however SMERSH -- a corporate criminal Republican-like conspiracy -- never existed.

Jefferson Hawkins
Jefferson Hawkins

Kate, that's a long and fascinating story in its own right. Hubbard wrote his long poem, "Hymn of Asia" back in 1954, and it was supposed to be presented at an upcoming Buddhist convention to convince them he was Metteya, the reincarnated Buddha. He issued very detailed instructions about how it was to be prepared as an ornate scroll with Buddhist symbols all over it. However, somebody "goofed the floof" or "flubbed the dub" or whatever and it never got presented, and lay mouldering in archives until David Ziff (a former Buddhist by the way) found it there and decided to serialize it in Advance mag. Hubbard hit the roof and insisted that his masterpiece not be wasted by serializing it in a mere magazine, but insisted it be hand-calligraphed and published in an ornate hardback edition. To promote it, Advance magazine ran a series of articles on Buddhism, leading up to the revelation that LRH was the reincarnated Buddha, and the announcement of the book for sale. It was all marketing. In the 1990s. by the way, the music department at Gold set the poem to music and had it sung by a choir in an elaborate costumed presentation that had exactly one performance. Videos probably still exist somewhere.

CofS Exit Zone
CofS Exit Zone

David Ziff & Annie McGinley were still running Advance! publications when the Buddist-y series of articles were printed as the run-up intro to HofA release. Jeff hadn't come along to wear that hat yet.

guest
guest

Also the shooter's dad is Robert Zimmerman, if that rings any bells. There was a man by that name listed as completing scn courses from '93-2000. K, I'm done hijacking today's topic. Sorry. 

Quickpen
Quickpen

 Don't forget LRH is also "Mankind's Best Friend"  You know, like DOG except LRH spelled it G.O.D

Sarasota Breeze
Sarasota Breeze

Thank you very much, I am now going to read all the books on the Unofficial Tom Swift website!

Quickpen
Quickpen

 Great story!  It reminded me of the Messiah story Nancy Manny's wrote about in her book.  Apparently LRH came up with a super-secret scheme to find the God/Messiah button via surveys with the intent to button-push people into "cogniting" on their own determinism that Ron himself could only be Messiah.  Once people arrived at this conclusion on their own (forget about the button pushing help from his marketing gurus) ideally all that was left for Hubbard to do was modestly blush and say, "Ah shucks, you really think so?"

TheHoleDoesNotExist
TheHoleDoesNotExist

Videos!  Hip Hip.  Love to see that one.  There was a time, perhaps coinciding with the 90's, scientology promoted that a certain branch of Buddhists (shinto?) were exposed to Hubbard's stuff and proclaimed yep, he's the one we've all been waiting for all these eons, and then were training up feverishly on der tech.  I remember being impressed.  doh!

MarkStark
MarkStark

Maybe Chilly B will do a rap version. Sometimes if feels as though you could suffocate in all these nutty details.

John P.
John P.

In response to your comment, I looked up the "Hymn of Asia."  I didn't make it too far.  I was reminded of Vogon poetry from The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy. Aside from the atrocious literary qualities, this shows vintage Hubbard in action.  He read some introductory blurb about Buddhism, perhaps in the Encyclopedia Britannica, and thought it looked simple enough.  

LRH strung together a few pages of bloviating blank verse and figured he could waltz in and they'd say, "Cool poem, dude.  You're the guy we've been waiting 2,400 years for!"  Presumably he figured they'd just roll over because they were polite and non-violent, and that must have meant that they were easily fooled.  

One suspects that Hubbard had not actually met a Buddhist at the time he was chasing this particular fantasy.  And one also suspects that the "lost" scroll was a convenient excuse that magically appeared just in time for him to back out of the trip when he realized that he would be laughed out of town by the assembled shaven-headed multitudes, if not actually strangled in saffron.  

I have met a few Buddhists in my life.  Even the most devout ones figure that they are a long ways from figuring out how to practice their religion properly.  By definition, none would think for a second that they are the Matrieya.  

This delusional hubris was, of course, an eerie foreshadowing of later plots to take over "Bulgravia," Morocco, psychiatry, Algeria, Clearwater, Life Force Academy, and similar places.  

Taken another way, the idea that Hubbard could just waltz in and take over one of the world's oldest faiths by showing up out of the blue, reading a poem and claiming to be their "Messiah" is about as grandiose and bizarre as Sarah Palin figuring that she was qualified for a job a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Ivy Mapother
Ivy Mapother

I've always wondered about Buddhists and self-immolation. LRH as the reincarnated Buddha, now I see why.

Ron
Ron

Promotional material that said "Scientology is the Buddhism of the 20th century" wouldn't have helped much.

MarkStark
MarkStark

Righto! Hubbard's sweeping knowingness of history, philosophy, or religion -- whether it seemed plausible or completely screwy -- came from the popularized 11 volume series, "The Story of Civilization" by Will and Ariel Durant. Hubbard learned, sort of, everything he knew, not from the "20,000 greatest minds in the Universe," but from a handful of people like Freud and the Durants who did the heavy thinking for him. Hubbard won over the Buddhists about like he won over Rhodesia. In the 60's and 70's he may have attracted some followers who dabbled in Buddhism though. 

Ron
Ron

On the other hand, in the ninth century, Lin Chi said "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him." Perhaps he had a future vision of Hubbard?

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