Scientology TV Ad Re-Edited by Funny or Die

Categories: Scientology

Hey, this is cool -- Funny or Die has put more appropriate music to the creepy Scientology TV ad! But don't forget to see our own piece looking at the 5 biggest lies in this ad, which has been showing up on network TV shows like Glee and American Idol, and at places like Hulu.

OnionFictionology.jpg
Continuing the Sunday comedy, the Onion has apparently reposted today its 2005 parody of Scientology, "Fictionology."

The in-jokes are great: "Hollywood actor David McSavage, who converted to Fictionology last year, attempted to explain. 'Scientology can only offer data, such as how an Operating Thetan can control matter, energy, space, and time with pure thought alone,' McSavage said. 'But truly spiritual people don't care about data, especially those seeking an escape from very real physical, mental, or emotional problems.'"

Heh.





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Tony Ortega has been the editor in chief of the Village Voice since March, 2007. He started writing about Scientology in 1995. You can reach him by e-mail at tortega@villagevoice.com, and if you ask nicely he'll put you on his mailing list for notifications of new stories, which tend to come out each and every morning at 8 am, but can suddenly appear at any time of the day. You can also catch his alerts at Twitter (@VoiceTonyO), at his Facebook author page, a Tumblr, and even this new Google Plus doohickey.

New readers might want to check out our primer, "What is Scientology?" Another good overview is our series from last summer, "Top 25 People Crippling Scientology." At the top of every story, you'll see the "Scientology" category which, if you click on it, will bring up all of our most recent stories. As for our regular features, on Thursdays we do a roundup of world press, on Fridays we visit L. Ron Hubbard on the yacht Apollo circa 1969-1971, on Saturdays we celebrate the week's best comments, and on Sundays we publish Scientology's wacky and tacky advertising mailers that people send us.

As for hot subjects we've covered here, you may have heard about Debbie Cook, the former church official who rebelled and is now being sued by Scientology. You might have also heard about the Super Power Building, Scientology's "Mecca," whose secrets were revealed here. We also reported how Scientology spied on its own most precious object, Tom Cruise. (We wrote Tom an open letter that he has yet to respond to.) Have you seen a Scientology ad on TV lately? We debunked some of the claims in that 2-minute commercial you might have seen while watching Glee or American Idol.

Other stories have looked at Scientology's policy of "disconnection" that is tearing families apart. You may also have heard something about the Sea Org experiences of the Paris sisters, Valeska and Melissa, and their friend Ramana Dienes-Browning. We've also featured Paulette Cooper, who wrote about Scientology back in the day, and Janet Reitman, Hugh Urban, and the team at the Tampa Bay Times, who write about it today. And there's plenty more coming.


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31 comments
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AnAnon
AnAnon

Every time the Scientology corporation is casually mocked in popular media, and Anonymous gets his mask.

OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8!

We in RTC note the massive statcrash here on Tony Ortega's blog. Our surveys indicate that 92% of VV readers oppose Ortega's mockery of Scientology's planetary-saving television commercials.

It seems that even the most demented wog VV readers have some very low sense of decency at least 1% of the time.  

DodoTheLaser
DodoTheLaser

Nah... It's just plain scary. Regardless, my kudos to Will Ferrell and his buddies! Good satire is good. The cats are waiting for Mon 8 am fun. Cheers!

Jgg
Jgg

  Fictionology works and it helps people.  It is a religion that is growing by leaps and bounds.  Its founder won a nobel prize, an oscar and a pulitzer prize, and was the youngest Rhodes Scholar ever, and never once made a spelling error.  Every 2 seconds someone reaches for Imaginetics. 

COREarg
COREarg

Change all the happy random people for Lisa McPherson's autopsy photos. Get everyone scarred for life.

Sasser
Sasser

"The Imperial March" would've been better, or maybe the theme from "Jaws".

SP 'Onage
SP 'Onage

I was expecting the sound of a terrified scream, keys fumbling in a lock and a creaky door closing at the end of the video. LOL

/made my flesh crawl.

DamOTclese2
DamOTclese2

What freakish lunatic claims. Does the insane crooks really think anybody normal believes any of this? 

DeckardCain
DeckardCain

What freakish lunatic CLAMS.

Fixed it for you.

Ghost of Charlie
Ghost of Charlie

  The Queen of Nazi Propaganda "Leni" Riefenstahl" writes about Dr L Clown Hubbard in Her Memoir ...  The Old Bloated Windbag Hubbard was smitten with Her..body of work..He and a couple of his minion and convinced her they were going to  do a re-write and a remake of one of her early films...she made It as an actor (Pre -Nazi) in 1932,  It was a musical remake called  The Blue Light.or (Das blaue Licht). its said, it was a film  of hers,that the diminutive dictator Hitler greatly admired.

It Seems  Mz Riefenstahl had some problems finding little if any work after the War..go figure....It was mainly because of her  sordid Association with the Nazi regime...She had very few job offers.....

  The Queen of Nazi Propaganda  was under the impression "Doctor Hubbard" was a  well respected screen/script writer Colombia Picture!  and was most impressed that this enormously accomplished man "Doctor Hubbard" wrote many scrips for long-time friend and fellow super-adventurer Clark Gable. She refereed to the "Bloated One" as  a psychologist and Scientologist.'

 Hubbard graciously offered living arrangements  in his  London Apartment that "the Queen of Nazi Propaganda+ could work out Of . after much fanfare,the film project Never got off the ground..

 a  year later She received a letter from Hubbard who invited "The Queen of Nazi  Propaganda

  to Johannesburg "to make a documentary film on South Africa.

He said money was no problem. He also hoped to gain  "The Queen of Nazi  Propaganda's cooperation by establishing modern film and recording studios there.   Leni Riefensthal wrote  "This overblown project from Hubbard also burst like a soap bubble.  you can read the story in her memoir online

Davey Is just making films exactly like the Bloated con Man would have wanted, exactly like Hubbard favorite film diva The Queen of Nazi Propaganda.

Ron
Ron

The tacky backdrops for Scientology presentations by Dear Leader David Miscavige always look like a mutation of Triumph of Will and Ming the Merciless (from Flash Gordon).

ShellyMiscavige
ShellyMiscavige

Now that is interesting, and would make a great movie.

I wonder if Tony Ortega might look into this?

What a story!

Radio Paul
Radio Paul

I am sorry does anyone know how one can sign up to edit typos in their post?

Yeppir
Yeppir

Probably the easiest way is go to disqus dot com and sign up there.

Radio Paul
Radio Paul

When I was in film school we had a class where they swapped the music of different clips from movies to show how it changed the impact. This music really puts in to perspective what so many people see in Scientology. I hope they get the fact that their message is such an illusion that a simple music swap can show it for what it truly is. This was brilliant idea . I would not say this is funny but very haunting. feels like there is a hidden message in the picture (WE WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD) 

Radio Paul
Radio Paul

When I was in film school we had a class where they swapped the music of different clips form movies to show how it changed the impact. This music really puts in to perspective the was so many people see Scientology. I hope they get the fact that there message is such an illusion that a simple music swap can show it for what it truly is. Brilliant. I would not say this is funny but very haunting. feels like there is a hidden message in the picture (WE WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD) 

wannabeclear
wannabeclear

Unfortunately, even with this music, the ad is meant to be so "normal" and "mainstream" that it would hardly cause alarm or raise any red flags for anyone.  That's what is so insidious and dangerous about it.  By the time the bait and switch has happened, it's already too late.

Personally, I would have selected music that's even more ominous -- maybe with an undertone of blood-curdling screams.

Xenu
Xenu

Try muting the video and playing it to Pink Floyd's live version of Careful With That Ax, Eugene, starting at about 2:30 in.  It works quite well.

Xenu
Xenu

It also works almost perfectly with 'Liar' by Rollins Band.

wannabeclear
wannabeclear

Actually, I just had a better idea.  Replace the music with a track of Nazi troops marching  and a dash of Wagner for good measure.  

Chuck Beatty
Chuck Beatty

Thank Peter Schless of Scientology Int Base for the pro Scientology music.   

Brings up the whole history of music composition, and how a new religion chooses who makes it's music for self promotion, their events, their movies.

Both the Scientology original music for this ad, plus the re-edit music, show that composition and execution in the music is a lesson all it's own.

The official Scientology soundtrack(s) composition history, I wish a former Int Base staffer or free speaking Scientology person who knows that whole history, would put together a site with all the themes.

Some of the old Ron's Journal cassettes with Hubbard giving his year end message, were accompanied by tunes, and Rich Cruzen came up with a couple of tunes that I still whistle today.

And Ron Miscavige Snr, DM's dad, he came up with a few of the melodic short intro pieces that were used, the ones for the "War Is Over" event, that event had two snippet intro compositions, the melodies played for 5-10 seconds at certain junctures in the event, were by Ron Snr, and I find myself whistling those, for all their gloriousness, sometimes I feel like an old communist reminiscing the glories of Stalinism, sheesh!   

When I was in, I bought and lisened to ALL of the Golden Era Muscicians' cassettes, those cassettes are not promoted any longer, since half the musicians blew or quit and their faces on the cassette flaps bring up the same old question "Where are these guys today? "   The uncomfortable answer is they mostly quit.  

What a huge manufactured continuing show Scientology is!

John P.
John P.

As the music got creepier, I expected to see the people in the ad start to morph into brain dead zombies and start erupting from the doorways of the Idle Orgs to feast on the brains of passers by.  I think Scientologists call that "body routing." 

Either that or it would take more of a science fiction slant, with the heavy chords morphing into the heavy breathing of Darth Vader, who has a heavily processed voice like David Miscavige does. Then you fade in to a massive panoramic shot on some Death Star-like battle station, ordering all his brainwashed clone troops into battle in the first Clone War.

Jimmy Kowski
Jimmy Kowski

every scientology ad should end with the scene of Tom Cruise shouting "show me the money"

Mimi The Great
Mimi The Great

 Only to be followed up with Tom staring gazingly at his pint sized bff, "You COMPLETE ME!"

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