Pat Robertson Still Thinks You Can Pray Away Nature -- And Other Bumblings From God's Biggest Fan
To hell with that mangy groundhog, and fuck his stupid shadow -- if we all pray hard enough, it will be spring right now!
That's based on the logic of former "faith healer"/current divine weatherman Pat Robertson, who, yet again, has caused a stir with his claims that nature is somehow controlled by prayer -- and the reason tornadoes devastated the Midwest last week is because folks in the heartland weren't praying hard enough.
Watch in the Youtube clip embedded above as Robertson explains how god didn't "send tornadoes" to the Midwest last week by explaining how science works...er, how god makes science work.
Sadly, Robertson's ramblings about tornadoes is just the latest in a long history of idiotic comments he's made about science, nature, weather, and the victims of these sorts of natural disasters (so far, Midwesterners' most-recent lack of prayer has led to the deaths of 40 people in five states, including a 1-year-old girl who was found in a field after a tornado ripped through her family's home in Indiana).
Below, we've listed some of Robertson's greatest hits (we've left out his claim that the ACLU, as well as homosexuals, were somehow to blame for the September 11 terrorist attacks, and his insistence that the 2010 earthquake in Haiti happened because the country's founders made a "pact with the devil").
"I have a relatively good track record," Robertson said of his predictions during a 2007 interview with the Associated Press.
-In 1976, Robertson predicted that the world would come to an end in 1982.
"I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world," he said during a broadcast of The 700 Club, a show he hosts on the Christian Broadcasting Network.
As you're probably aware, the world still exists -- and Robertson was dead wrong.
-In 2004, Robertson predicted that then-President George W. Bush would win reelection in a "blowout" victory.
"I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way," he told his 700 Club audience during a 2004 broadcast.
"God," apparently, was wrong again, Pat.
-In 2007, Robertson predicted that a terrorist attack would happen in the United States that God told him would result in "mass killings."
"The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that," Robertson told his 700 Club audience at the time.
There was no terrorist attack in the United States in 2007. According to Robertson, "all I can think is that somehow the people of God prayed and God in his mercy spared us."
That must be it.
-In January of 2008, Robertson claimed that God told him a recession would hit the United States -- which it did...in 2007...a year before Robertson's chat with God (perhaps Robertson should stick with "predicting" the past).
-Robertson's latest "prediction" came in January, when he said God told him who will win this year's presidential election. Robertson, however, won't say who it's going to be.
Given Robertson's track record when it comes to predicting the future, let's hope God told him Rick Santorum will be taking the oath of office come January.