Video Proof That Long Islanders Should Never Drink On Trains (Or Anywhere Else)
|Long Island (Sigh)|
What's the only thing worse than a Long Islander? A drunk Long Islander -- and the only thing worse than that is a drunk Long Islander on a train, which is probably why Long Island Railroad officials are testing out how a ban on booze on late-night weekend trains would impact "rambunctious behavior."
"We think that [alcohol] continues to fuel some of the rambunctious behavior we've been getting, all the way up to criminal behavior. We're just trying to get a different tone on the trains that lessens these incidents," LIRR President Helena Williams said today.
The ban would be applied to trains that run between midnight and 5 a.m. on Friday and Saturday mornings. If you've never had the (gulp) pleasure of heading to the Guyland early in the morning on the weekend, we envy you -- it's nothing but spray-tanned dickweeds (with stupid accents) hopped up on Jager-bombs as far as the eye can see. And -- as you probably suspected -- they all want to fight.
Think we're kidding? Watch a few of the Youtube clips embedded below.