Attention Craig Dershowitz: It's Just A F**king Dog

Categories: Dogs, Idiots
knuckles.jpg
This is Craig Dershowitz's dog, "Knuckles." He's blown $60,000 trying to win custody of "Knuckles" from his ex-girlfriend -- despite the looming fact that "Knuckles" is a fucking dog.
Craig Dershowitz says he's blown upwards of $60,000 on legal fees in a custody battle with his ex-girlfriend...over a dog. It's gotten him precisely nowhere -- the girlfriend still has custody of the dog (a "puggle" named "Knuckles") and a judge in California ruled today that that's not gonna change anytime soon.

Dershowitz -- after blowing through his life savings -- is in the process of trying to raise even more money to piss away on a canine-custody case.

Craig, we realize you love your dog -- and the media's been gushing over how cute it is that you're fighting to get him back. That said, we're here to put things into perspective and remind you that it's just a fucking dog.

We wrote about Dershowitz's puppy love earlier this week. You can read the story here, but here's the gist of it: Dershowitz and his former girlfriend, Sarah Brega, broke up. Brega took the dog and went to California. Dershowitz wants it back, which has caused him to spend about $60,000 in legal fees. After pissing away every penny he has on a custody battle -- again, over a dog -- he's now trying to raise more money online to continue the fight. He's enlisted the help of his artistic friends to provide "Knuckles" merchandise (read: crap) that he's now selling on the Internet.

Not that it matters -- blowing $60,000 on a dog is idiotic no matter how much money you have -- but Dershowitz isn't a millionaire. After blowing his life savings on legal fees over a dog, he's not even a thousand-aire. He's 34 years old and works in an art gallery in Manhattan.

Dershowitz now says he needs to raise an additional $20,000 in the next 31 days to continue the fight for "Knuckles." Thanks to generous (read: stupid) people across the country, Dershowitz has raised $4,364 so far.

Again, Craig, "Knuckles" is cute, and all, but he's a dog. Grow up, stop using a dog as an excuse to keep in contact with your ex-girlfriend, pocket the $4,000 you conned out of people moved by your story, and go to the pet store.

And for anyone who plans on giving this guy even a penny, first click here to take a look at hundreds of charities that need cash for missions far more noble than helping a 34-year-old man get his puppy back. 


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15 comments
Joy
Joy

I have a puggle and I have to say they are a special kind of dog...I've never even been much of a dog person but I adore our puggle and I would do alot for him but I think $60K is pushing it.  Can't they work out some kind of joint custody agreement, good grief.  www.hugglepuggle.com

Persephone
Persephone

You forgot to diss Sara Brega, she had to have spent an equal amount or more on lawyers etc. in the custody battle to keep the dog.

Persephone
Persephone

You forgot to diss Sara Brega she must have spent an equal amount on lawyers etc. to keep the dog.

VioletSerene
VioletSerene

I can't believe the Village Voice would publish this adolescent rant. The heading,"blog", does not excuse this. The author wants us to contribute to "noble" causes? Perhaps the author could use his time and this space along with the, um, Village Voice's resources and journalistic integrity to publish something that is actually thoughtful and useful to readers, i.e., a "noble" cause. Oh wait, that might require research and thought.

small city?
small city?

Is this the same Craig Dershowitz of Artists4Israel who is quoted in a post today on the City Room blog on NYTimes.com?

Brigman
Brigman

Hey Craig, don't worry. He's just a f*cking writer for the VillageVoice, not your Dad. If you want to spend $60,000 on something like this, it's your choice; go for it. James, the people who buy his shirts, other shitty overpriced props, etc...are the ones you should be directing your anger at in this article. They chose to buy these things and have no emotional attachment to the issue. If Craig wants to spend his $60,000 on stuffed animals from the carnival or Kitten t-shirts, he is allowed to do so and none of us can tell him otherwise. Lay off his nutz. Yes, spelled with a Z. 

Nessys
Nessys

Amen.... Someone who gets it in the media! The kicker is most of his story is BS, noone stole his dog. Thank you Thank you Thank you for posting something worth reading. Animal lovers do not fund this campaign follow the link to find real deserving charities.

Kkenyon76
Kkenyon76

This is the best article yet! Thank u for putting what many of us are thinking to print!

Frank Black
Frank Black

James King you're a scumbag idiot and I hope someone you love gets the flesh eating disease.

Christopher Neal
Christopher Neal

Dang, he coulda hired someone to steal the dog back for only about $5 grand. Maybe even $4 grand.

JimmyMartello
JimmyMartello

This is pretty heartless. I love my dog too.

LeafyGreen
LeafyGreen

Exactly.  It's so sad that the "legal" system in America is really the "who has the most money" system.  Fight the good fight, Craig!

James King
James King

That is a fantastic point. Will look into it. Thanks.

James King
James King

I have a dog, too. And I love him to death. But would you really spend $60,000 on your dog? Especially when it's not to save his life. "Knuckles" is fine -- lovin' the sun in California. He doesn't need some $60,000 surgery, or anything. This guy's just in a fight with his ex that he doesn't want to lose -- and the media's eatin' it up.

Jen
Jen

Be that as it may, using the phrase "it's just a fucking dog" is dickish. I agree that he should learn to let go, and there seem to be deeper issues here, but in my world, there's no such thing as "just a fucking dog."

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