Ten Gays Who Could Beat The Crap Out Of Manny Pacquiao
As we reported in a previous post, Filipino boxer/congressman/Roman Catholic Manny Pacquiao doesn't agree with President Barack Obama (and the majority of Americans) that gay people should have the right to get married. Not only doesn't Pacquiao agree with Obama, he cites a passage in the bible that says gay people "must be put to death."
There's no question that Pacquiao's a tough little guy. But he's still a little guy (5-foot-6 and 144 pounds) -- and killing off gays one-by-one might be a slightly more difficult task than the feisty Filipino might think.
Despite the stereotypes, there are some pretty tough dudes out there who just happen to prefer a penis -- and could probably kick the shit out of that pipsqueak Pacquiao. We've listed 10 of our favorites below.
10) British Powerlifter Chris Morgan: Chris Morgan is a British financial adviser who describes himself as a "raving queen." He's also a professional weightlifter who's won six British powerlifting championships -- so we don't think Morgan would have too much trouble when matched against a puny 144-pound Filipino.
8) Dennis Rodman: Rodman's not technically all-the-way gay, but he does enjoy the "whiskered embrace of a man." During his NBA career, Rodman was a rebound machine. His toughness under the basket -- in our humble opinion -- would translate into toughness in the ring (not to mention, he's a full foot taller than Pacquiao and is more than 80 pounds heavier).
|Again, Marcus Bachmann is definitely not gay...at all...we swear.|
6) British Rugby Footballer Ian Roberts: Ian Roberts is gay. He's also 6-foot-5 and plays rugby. Enough said.
5) Esera Tuaolo: Esera Tuaolo is an openly gay former defensive tackle for several NFL teams including the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Vikings. He's 6-foot-2 and weighed about 280 pounds when he was still playing football. He's also Samoan -- and would beat the crap out of Pacquiao.
4) Rosie O'Donnell: She's Rosie O'Donnell -- do you really need an explanation?
3) Clay Aiken: we'll come clean: there's no way in hell Aiken could take Pacquiao in a fight -- but we'd love to see him try.
|Adebisi would fuck Pacquiao up. Fact.|
1) John Travolta: Oh...sorry...we forgot -- Travolta's (ahem) totally straight.