Ten Gays Who Could Beat The Crap Out Of Manny Pacquiao

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*UPDATE: since this post was published, the "journalist" who claimed Pacquiao quoted a Bible verse calling for the death of all things homosexual has come clean -- he admits Pacquiao never said it. Get the details here.

As we reported in a previous post, Filipino boxer/congressman/Roman Catholic Manny Pacquiao doesn't agree with President Barack Obama (and the majority of Americans) that gay people should have the right to get married. Not only doesn't Pacquiao agree with Obama, he cites a passage in the bible that says gay people "must be put to death."

There's no question that Pacquiao's a tough little guy. But he's still a little guy (5-foot-6 and 144 pounds) -- and killing off gays one-by-one might be a slightly more difficult task than the feisty Filipino might think.

Despite the stereotypes, there are some pretty tough dudes out there who just happen to prefer a penis -- and could probably kick the shit out of that pipsqueak Pacquiao. We've listed 10 of our favorites below.

10) British Powerlifter Chris Morgan: Chris Morgan is a British financial adviser who describes himself as a "raving queen." He's also a professional weightlifter who's won six British powerlifting championships -- so we don't think Morgan would have too much trouble when matched against a puny 144-pound Filipino.

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9) Brokeback Mountain's Ennis Del Mar: Pacquiao may be the best "pound-for-pound" fighter in boxing today, but he doesn't have farm-boy strength, which is essential when herding cattle, bailing hay, or kicking the shit out of Bible-beating assholes like Pacquiao. After all, it was quickly decided (after a brief fight-kissing scene) that Del Mar was the "top" in his forbidden relationship.

8) Dennis Rodman: Rodman's not technically all-the-way gay, but he does enjoy the "whiskered embrace of a man." During his NBA career, Rodman was a rebound machine. His toughness under the basket -- in our humble opinion -- would translate into toughness in the ring (not to mention, he's a full foot taller than Pacquiao and is more than 80 pounds heavier).

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Again, Marcus Bachmann is definitely not gay...at all...we swear.
7) Marcus Bachmann: Marcus Bachmann, the totally not gay husband of former presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, is so not gay, his heterosexuality is intimidating. Bachmann's famous for his divine power that helps homosexuals "pray away the gay." If his mystical powers can "cure" homosexuality, it's only logical that he's also capable of using the power of prayer to make himself gay. One more prayer for some extra muscles and Bachmann would then be a worthy adversary for Pacquiao. Did we mention Bachmann's definitely not gay? Like, not even a little bit...at all...we swear.

6) British Rugby Footballer Ian Roberts: Ian Roberts is gay. He's also 6-foot-5 and plays rugby. Enough said.

5) Esera Tuaolo: Esera Tuaolo is an openly gay former defensive tackle for several NFL teams including the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Vikings. He's 6-foot-2 and weighed about 280 pounds when he was still playing football. He's also Samoan -- and would beat the crap out of Pacquiao.

4) Rosie O'Donnell: She's Rosie O'Donnell -- do you really need an explanation?

3) Clay Aiken: we'll come clean: there's no way in hell Aiken could take Pacquiao in a fight -- but we'd love to see him try.

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Adebisi would fuck Pacquiao up. Fact.
2) Adebisi from Oz: Simon Adebisi was arguably the toughest inmate at Oswald State Penitentiary in the HBO prison drama Oz. Granted, Oz is a work of fiction, but Adebisi was so tough -- and so gay -- that he was often able to force his gayness on others (just ask the scores of inmates he raped during the four seasons he was on the show).

1) John Travolta: Oh...sorry...we forgot -- Travolta's (ahem) totally straight.

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229 comments
p_estapador
p_estapador

this 10 gays listed above may be able to beat manny pacquiao in many ways, but there soul will be burn in hell eternally.

Leviticus 20:13, "if a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

these bible verse is not created by manny pacquiao, this a scripture

boxing
boxing

i agree with the president on this issue.  and i also am a boxing fan.  funny post and point taken -- but you clearly have never seen this man fight.  order pay per view and you'll understand that no one of any size would want to fist fight pacquiao.

just me
just me

Whoever this journalist who had spread this awful rumor should be banned from journalism.

GKid
GKid

The list forgot the Most Famous Bi-sexual Boxing Champion and All Time Great at Welterweight(the same division as Pacquiao), Emile Griffith. The list is garbage without him. But then again, the left doesn't do their homework very well as Manny Never quoted Leviticus and now omitted Emile Griffith from the list.

Keira211
Keira211

not because someone does not agree with two man or two woman getting married means that they are HATERS! Manny is definitely not a GAY/LGBT-hater, he just does not agree with them getting married! Common guys, if your parents (who love you) does not agree with your partner (whom you love so much) and tells you they do not want you to get married with him/her (though you may or may not obey) does that mean that they hate you??? Can't it be that they are just concerned, or that they love you so much that they want you to have someone better or that you only have contrasting opinions??? 

Zardoz
Zardoz

I hope Manny sues this pathetic writer's ass to the ground for all the irresponsible, misinformed things he's written about this issue.

Btw, Manny would KO all these people you've listed in your sorry-ass-attempt-at-being-funny-article. (all, except, Rosie, of course)

Petteys
Petteys

You spelled baling hay wrong.

CriticMe
CriticMe

  First of all I would like to address to the priests and churches that they should just stay away from politics and publicity, it's not their "JOB" to butt in... their job should stay preaching the words of god alone and not their own opinion and stuff. Secondly, OMG!! you priests should become a boxers LOL, why on earth did you put/gave manny a position "bible ambassador" it's all just plain stupid. If you haven't noticed he is not that good person at all, he just want publicity and I guess these priests too want to be known in their rediculous way. Is a God fearing person says hurtful and offensive things to others?. I believe mostly people who goes publicly letting people know that they go to churches and pray and they are "God Fearing" are those who are sinners inside and out with a mask hiding their true selves and He's one of them. FYI, I'm a catholic too and I do believe in God but whenever I hear and see all their publicity with full of lies makes my head hurt LOL. It is expected that there are people against others point of view but If you guys are religious and God Fearing as you say, isn't it better to accept others, the way they are without being judgemental. People live their lives in different ways and I bet God wants to have peace in this world what ever the religion and way of life is, so STOP pointing fingers and saying this and that according to the bible and DON'T push to others what they believe is wrong, it'll just make things bad. That's all :P

Chris Morgan
Chris Morgan

I'd like to clarify that I have no intention of fighting anyone in any boxing ring. I'm in the business of lifting weights and competing against the strongest men in the world in the sport of Powerlifting.  It is really a great shame that the journalist failed to mention my four world titles, six Gay Games Gold Medals, alongside my overall best lifter title at last years European Championships. This is what I'd prefer to be known for and not someone that takes part in fictional fights with lightweigh boxers. Chris Morgan, Gay Games Ambassador / World Champion Powerlifter.

kimlieng
kimlieng

Gays had more balls than Pacquiao. Pacquiao had to give all his strength to defeat the opponent in the boxing ring; But to be honest, it takes balls to admit that you're gay.

Godotnut
Godotnut

Pacquiao did not say what this author accused him of saying, but the damage to his reputation is done. Few will read the "update," and the Voice is guilty of slander. 

Ime
Ime

I'm a Filipino, but I dislike Pacquiao so much--he's a fake. He goes around quoting passages from the Bible, fooling people into thinking that he's a "man of God" now, but just look at his and his family's lifestyle and you know he's a hoax. Man, if he really believes he's a changed man, why doesn't he sell even half of his properties and give them to the poor, just what Jesus told the rich man in the Bible? Didn't he read that passage, or he just brushed it aside because it wouldn't serve him the socio-political agenda he wanted. Remember, he wants to be a governor of his province. BTW, did I mention he just gifted his mom a 3-million-peso van?

Faggots_die
Faggots_die

Why do have to listen to faggots all of the time. They should be ostracized, put on an island near Anartica - I hope they all get AIDS an die off soon.

eNYCee
eNYCee

i love all this hypocrisy. this is such a one-sided article its not even funny. ITS HIS DAMN OPINION. WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO MAD ABOUT IT? This is what America was built on, to have freedom of/from religion and freedom of speech. To go out your way and make a ridiculous article about gay people(who are twice this mans size by the way) that can beat him up is just as wrong as what he said toward gays.

Ariel
Ariel

very well said rush! That's what exactly what I wanted to say after reading this article. Sometimes we're so quick to judge others without examining ourselves.

Idiots
Idiots

Wow, its like you're not even trying.

aloneconformist
aloneconformist

So, you guys do know the quote was fabricated now right? He never said anything about putting gays to death. The cited "news outlet" doesn't even exist. Which isn't to say he isn't a Catholic conservative. But, he never said that.

Mao Mao Chamn
Mao Mao Chamn

Where is Floyd Joy Mayweather Jr in the list?

chris22
chris22

Thank you for the clarification. So Pacquiao never really said that. He's a bit of a bigot, but I knew he wouldn't go as fas as thinking gay people should die.

Marc
Marc

 I am a boxer,a boxing fan and I support Gay rights 100%. I am a fan of Manny in the ring but I think his stance on Gay issues is totally wrong and backwards. That being said,none of these people on your list would be able to "beat the cap out of Manny Pacquiao" regardless of size. Boxing has always seen smaller men beat bigger men and Manny would have an easy time against a guy with no fighting background. Be realistic. A tall rugby player might be a tough person but what can he do about a right hook to the chin? He can get seriously hurt that's what. Boxers are trained to throw these shots all of the time and they are also trained to be able to take shots in return. Your average athlete cant walk threw a technically perfect punch to the body or head.  No matter,Pacquiao is anti gay but Floyd Mayweather is still gonna make love to him in the ring.

On a related note,there has been many Gay brush ups in boxing. Former heavyweight champ Larry Holmes had a gay sparring partner. Mike Tyson said he was gonna make Donovan Razor Ruddock his "girlfriend" and more recently,current top 10 contender Dereck Chisora kissed opponent Carl Baker on the lips,said he was going to "make love" to opponent Robert Helenius and said he "swings both ways" to opponent Vitali Klitschko.

Therock2
Therock2

U forgot Omar from the wire!

Superabound1
Superabound1

The only homosexual i know of that can beat up Manny Pacquiao is Floyd Mayweather.

jo
jo

DEATH TO ALL GAY!!

Cusp98
Cusp98

Ian Roberts is Australian, not British.

Vincent Solomon
Vincent Solomon

Ampong clarified that Pacquiao was not quoted saying the verse, nor did the boxer invoke it during their interview.

“As we see, nowhere in my supposition and integration of my interview with Pacquiao did I mention that Pacquiao recited this Leviticus 20:13 nor did I imply that Pacquiao had quoted such,” he said in his Examiner report.

Ampong said he merely used the verse to remind “how God made it clear in the Old Testament time that such practice of same-sex marriage is detestable and strictly forbidden.”

He also blamed biased writers for twisting his column.

Ampong was referring to USA Today’s Tom Weir and LA Weekly’s Dennis Romero, who both reportedly linked Pacquiao to the Leviticus verse.

“I hereby demand both Weir and Romero to apologize to Pacquiao,” he said.

Ampong himself apologized to the reading public and the Filipino boxing superstar.

“I sincerely apologize for the confusion my column has caused,” he said.

(From the writer of the original Pacquiao article -- sorry no links allowed here) 

GOLIATH
GOLIATH

The writer of this article is a GAY_JAMES KING!!! L M A O. 

Blackmest2012
Blackmest2012

"God's words first ... obey God's law first before considering the laws of man,"

ESP
ESP

 Pacquiao's comments deserve criticism, his perspective as a Christian needs broadening, but this is absurd. A weight-lifter beating up Manny Pacquiao? Clearly this author has no idea what fighting is about. Without elite training, a straight left from Manny knocks out a 200 pound man as easily as a 150 pound man.

Mistermustard324
Mistermustard324

so???? i thought america is a free country and everyone's entitled to his own opinion? obama decided on the issue based on his personal beliefs, while pacquiao based his opinion on the teachings of the bible. pacquiao is anti-gay marriage, NOT ANTI-GAY!!!

jarsofclay
jarsofclay

if you love God, expect that the world will HATE YOU!!... PacMan Rules!

jarsofclay
jarsofclay

If you love God, expects that the world will HATE YOU....PacMan Rules!

cane-juice
cane-juice

Is this how "gays" settle an issue or argument?What's more..., the example of your "champions" gives the appearance of "BULLIES".

SteveFraserInHK
SteveFraserInHK

The author, James King, is too humble. He failed to mention the gayest of them all, James King him/her self. He/she definitely sounds eager and titillated to try his luck at pulling out his wiener to try his luck at "beating" the "crap"(his/her words not mine) out of the Pacman's behind! Only problem is how long he's gonna stay attached to it before the Pacman rips said wiener and stuffs it down James' throat(pun intended), LOL.

Clay Cawley
Clay Cawley

This ARTICLE is so GAY....AMERICA is the new SODDOM and GOMMORAH and now that Manny speaks the TRUTH...Haters want to STONE him like they did the PROPHETS of OLD who Preached REPENTANCE....Great Job Manny, You've really hit a CORE with the CHildren of Satan.....Jesus Christ is very Proud of you for making a STAND few  have the Courage to do...

I will vote for Obama
I will vote for Obama

Just let Pacquiao express his own opinion about gay marriage. I don't think there's something wrong about his opinion.

maccreedy
maccreedy

@p_estapador  Written by an 80 year old man who was fucking dozens of teenage girls. Oh wait! They were his wives, so it's OK. My bad.

Myriam_Breitman
Myriam_Breitman

OMG, totally. Omar was the greatest character ever. As somebody put it "there is nothing gay about Omar, he just likes to sleep with men."

Milkman76
Milkman76

ROFL, now he will try to deny even referencing it?? HAHAHAH he sees what the strong backlash feels like, and so he tries to erase his wrongdoing. He swings well in a boxing ring, but is a glass-jawed politician outside it. 

He should have owned it. 

Milkman76
Milkman76

OH. MY. GOD. 

This took my breath away. 

Milkman76
Milkman76

You read that in a book, didnt you! Very good! <claps hands=""></claps>

Milkman76
Milkman76

No, obviously not anti-gay. Just anti-gays-having-lives, a little. Right? The man is clearly a champion among men, and deserving of our blind adoration. 

Hali
Hali

He said gay people should be put to death. For being gay. How is there nothing wrong with that.

Milkman76
Milkman76

Sometimes, the moral blind-spot of a christian becomes so huge, it begins to occlude even their reading comprehension skills, or perhaps their understanding of what the word "death" actually means. 

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