Rightbloggers Ditch the Breitbart Awards for Netroots, Still Have No Fun

tomt200.jpgLast weekend rightbloggers put on their finery for the Breitbart Awards in Providence, Rhode Island. Some got plaques, others listened to speeches and attended seminars.

It certainly sounds like a good time to us, so we think it strange that rightbloggers didn't seem as interested in their own event as they were in the left-wing Netroots Nation event that was happening across town. In fact some of them went over there in search of thrills. That worked out pretty much as you would expect.

The awards ceremony was attached to an invitation-only "Future of Journalism" event for rightbloggers and rightwing reporters, sponsored by the Franklin Center for Government and Public Intergrity and the Heritage Foundation.

Word went out early that Ace of Spades -- best known for his He-Man Woman-Haters Club sense of humor -- would be the inaugural Breitbart honoree as Best Blogger, or Blogger of the Year, or King of the Bloggers or whatever it is.

But before he could be honored, Spades backed out.

He'd put up a long post about the Brett Kimberlin mishegas, in which rightbloggers were protesting the machinations of the convicted Speedway Bomber, who has initiated what appear to be frivolous legal actions against some of them.

Their efforts were pretty successful, as Senator Saxby Chambliss and Rep. Kenny Marchant have asked the Department of Justice to investigate incidents in which some of the targeted rightbloggers have had SWAT teams maliciously called to their homes.

In comments to Spades' post, readers who'd heard that Spades would be honored with the Breitbart Award congratulated him.

"I am not receiving the Breitbart Award," said Spades in his own comment. "Because of concerns about my physical safety, I decided I could not attend. As I could not attend, I decided I was not worthy of the award -- Andrew Breitbart would not be afraid. The Andrew Breitbart award will go to someone more deserving."

He didn't explain exactly why he was concerned about his physical safety, but his devoted fans generally accepted that he must have good reasons.

On Saturday Spades disabled comments, announcing that someone named "Jimmah" had "decided to set blog policy for me, and several others have decided to challenge me on the point as well. I will have to end commenting until I can figure out how to ban them."

It seemed odd that in nine years' stewardship of a contentious commenting section, Spades had no idea how to ban commenters -- particularly as he's threatened to ban them before. Anyway, Spades grew maudlin, threatening, "I'm going to possibly simply destroy the blog by letting it go dark."

Spades' acolytes made with the Tinker Bell clapping. A sort of Ace of Spades alt site was set up, as was an #acedark Twitter tag.

Ace of Spades fan site The Empire of Jeff blog explained what had happened: Jimmah "decided that he was going to take on all comers, including Ace. He was going to throw down the gauntlet, dare anyone to come and get him. Sue me. SWAT me. Go after my job, because I'm self-employed. You can't hurt me. And by the way, here's my name, address and telephone number. What a fucking asshole."

knightbart.jpg
Now this guy knew how to have a good time, and by that we mean drink.
The problem with this, Empire of Jeff said, was that Spades would be the one who would be attacked for Jimmah's bravado, rather than Jimmah himself, because, Empire of Jeff told Jimmah, "you're a fucking NOBODY. You could start your own blog for free on WordPress or Blogspot, but you won't because nobody will ever see the Internet Tough Guy bullshit you write. And if the wrong person saw it and came after you legally, no one would rally to help you out BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE."

Then Ace of Spades returned with a bizarre conversion narrative, declaring that anger was the problem and advising his acolytes to eschew it.

"This blog is a home, of sorts," said Spades. "People want to come here for interesting and fun banter. It is not intended to be a hostile environment. If anger makes you hostile, you will have to check that, or check out."

Wait -- Ace of Spades said this? The guy who said of a jihad victim's father who counseled Christian forgiveness, "When he dies... I hope his son slaps this stupid fuck right in the face"? Who, when women disagree with him, compares them to unattractive men? Who yelled at Jon Stewart because he didn't believe Stewart would "actually celebrate the death of a terrorist killed by US forces or a Predator drone, as we do here"? Who said, "The only way to permanently defeat an opponent is to either kill him or so demoralize him he defines himself as defeated, permanently, and cannot even imagine the state of being victorious... Well, we're not technically allowed to kill liberals.. So that leaves us with that faggy defeat-them-in-their-minds thing"? That guy?

Relax, he didn't mean it, as was obvious from the headline, "How The Left Abandoned Traditional Notions of Restraint, Reserve, and Self-Mastery In Favor Of Righteous Rage, And How The Right Has Sadly Followed Them." Nonetheless Spades affected a transformation, or perhaps a nervous breakdown: "I had frowned," he said, "I had shown a lack of interest or enthusiasm, I had been stingy with kind words and compliments. I was, in short, a real piece of shit. Still am. But I am trying. I am trying to take Praeger's counsel and remind myself that to be unhappy, and to project unhappiness out into the world, makes other people's lives poorer, other people's lives unhappier."

Birds sang, dawn broke, and shortly after this group hug Spades' colleague contributed a post about how the Wisconsin recall election gave him an erection ("Shadenboner"), and how much he enjoyed watching some Democrat cry on TV after Barrett lost: "Snort. Yeah, right," he wrote. "'Blue collar' implies having to work for a living and that whiny little pussy looks like some spoiled baby who's never worked a day in his life."

So, everything's back to normal. Meanwhile, in Providence the Awards went on without Spades, with his award shoveled to Duane Lester of something called All American Blogger. (Recent posts include "Must See Video: Injured Army Vet Stuns America's Got Talent," a piece of reportage that, the update reveals, went awry.)

It's hard to tell from Gateway Pundit Jim Hoft's crummy photos of the event what sort of party this was. Breitbart's own Big Journalism headed its report of the Awards with a picture of Andrew Breitbart, who is dead and presumably was not in attendance.

Michael Bates attended the whole Future of Journalism event, and meticulously detailed the meetings and presentations he witnessed, e.g. "Bill Beach, director of the Heritage Foundation's Center for Data Analysis, gave us an overview of the wide range of federal data available online. He also told us about the early days of his career, when processing government data for analysis involved hours of data entry work and going to the lab in the wee hours of the morning to process stacks of punch cards." Maybe the attendees were just too drained after a day of this sort of action to party.

Big Journalism reporter Tony Lee faithfully recorded the commendations of the award presenters and the reactions of the winners. Lester, for example:

"When I was told I would be given the award, I was stunned," Lester told Breitbart News. "I feel honored that my peers felt I was worthy of an award created to highlight bloggers for 'intrepid reporting that goes over the heads of the legacy media to communicate directly to the people.''
But neither Hoft's report nor Lee's mentioned Ace of Spades -- though other reports noted that Spades' rejection of the award was mentioned at the ceremony; nor did they say anything about any fun times or hijinks by the attendees.

It would seem those folks went looking for fun at someone else's party.


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19 comments
Jennifer
Jennifer

"Monumental achievements" = "the one accomplishment that didn't land him in legal trouble:  securing and releasing a picture of a congressman's cotton-knit-covered schlong."  The Shirley Sherrod case is still alive, even though Breitbart isn't.

HMDK
HMDK

 Yes, false equivalence is great, Cowardly Cock!

vacuumslayer
vacuumslayer

You can't swing a dead Breitbart without hitting wingnut fail on the Internet.

Jennifer
Jennifer

Yes, life is sweeter knowing that Breitbart is no longer a part of the world, isn't it?  I mean, ever since March 1, I get up, and no matter how crappy my day might be, I can think to myself, "yeah, this sucks, but Andrew Breitbart is STILL DEAD," and it makes the day a little brighter.  I don't think I'll EVER get tired or bored of Andrew Breitbart being dead.

Warren Jason Street
Warren Jason Street

How did I miss all of this stuff? This is like finding a treasure trove of wingnut fail.

McSalmon
McSalmon

If Breitbart were still alive, I suspect we'd have to talk about another subject that the rightbloggers were all ahuff about. Perhaps on what a dick Breitbart was. Or how Breitbart was a media troll, who's mission in life was to make things up and demand it be accepted as truth. Something like that, I guess.

Fearless Dick
Fearless Dick

One should ask the same question of folks here.

Horatius
Horatius

 Too bad Dana didn't get crotch examined too.

McSalmon
McSalmon

 Ah, let him giggle. Lord knows I titter when ever some Tea Bagging dummy declares giving poor people health coverage is tyranny and that he deserved his Medicare scooter. Or some white Christian claiming he's being banned from the public square because of atheists taking over, and not because he's basically calling for jihad, with a Jesus twist. So, fair's fair I guess. Walker's still a dick though.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©

It's always projection with the right-brethren. See the latest update on MMTV for a Limbaugh example: "The Idea That Police, Teachers, And Firefighters Contribute To Economic Growth Is "Ignorance 101" ~

Merl Allen
Merl Allen

He's too damn scared to collect his phony baloney award and he has the nerve to call liberals pussies?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©

Breitbart's own Big Journalism headed its report of the Awards with a picture of Andrew Breitbart, who is dead and presumably was not in attendance. LIBEL!  HE is everywhere, with his ginormous head and T. Rex arms. ~

john
john

"how much he enjoyed watching some Democrat cry on TV after Barrett lost" I still have flashbacks of Special Ed on msnbc that night. It was beautiful. Oh and don't forget red-hat man crying about the end of democracy. The irony. Good times indeed.

gocart mozart
gocart mozart

What would the Stooges have done without Mo?  The Breitfarts have the same connumdrum.

Substance McGravitas
Substance McGravitas

With O'Keefe you know it's on film so perhaps we will eventually see the predatorial Mother Jones pounding O'Keefe's ass.  "Give it to me harder!" will be edited out.

R.
R.

It must be like the comfort a Republican congressperson feels when they run for an office they don't believe should accomplish anything. Doing your job best by not doing your job? Sounds nice, though I don't know how far that would go in the real world.

Glenn
Glenn

So if I am understanding this right, it is deplorable for liberals to recognize rightwing personalities visiting Netroots and talk about them, and it is equally worthy of ridicule for liberals to not recognize rightwing personalities. It must be great comfort to have a mindset that allows one the superior position, no matter what happens.

Horatius
Horatius

 Brietbart's still dead. I'm enjoying it very much.

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