Attention, Brooklyn: Stop Blingin' Out Your Babies!
The latest item stolen is a $300 bracelet that was taken from the wrist of a 2-year-old. The last robbery was a $400 chain that was ripped off the neck of a 3-year-old. Both robberies occurred in relatively rough neighborhoods in Brooklyn (Bushwick and Bed-Stuy).
That said, we wouldn't let a toddler run around in an empty field in Upstate New York wearing anything that costs more than $40, let alone in a rough neighborhood in Brooklyn, and here's why: being completely defenseless aside, babies are stupid.
New York City thieves aren't evil, they're opportunistic. When they see a baby wearing a $400 chain, they don't see a chain, they see $400. They also don't see a baby -- they see $400 that won't put up a fight.
Your baby getting robbed shouldn't even be your biggest concern -- kids lose shit all the time, and just because something costs $400 doesn't mean a stupid baby isn't going to lose it.
A baby doesn't care how much a bracelet he or she is wearing costs, and that's because babies don't have jobs and don't understand what money is -- they have no idea what $400 even means, and don't care (for more than 20 minutes) when something that costs $400 is lost or stolen.
Blingin' out your baby is adorable, and all, but if your kid is robbed for an expensive piece of jewelery by some creep in a bad neighborhood, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Like puppies, all babies know is that they like shiny things -- regardless of how much they cost. So just strap some tinfoil to your rugrat's wrist and save yourself the trouble.