SCIENTOLOGY TV: FALL LINEUP REVEALED!

Categories: Scientology

Last year, the Church of Scientology bought the studios that had been the home for KCET, the public television station in Los Angeles.

Now, news organizations are reporting that Scientology plans to use the facility for its own TV station, and broadcast the way other religions do. So far, however, none of those news reports have explained what it is the church plans to broadcast.

And that's where we come in. We watch enough Scientology TV to know what's going to be hitting the airwaves -- or would be, if David Miscavige just let us be his programmer.

Let's launch things with the naturals for their own Yo! MTV Raps-style show, those infectious performers of the Melbourne Day Rap Battle Team! "That's us, baby!"

And hey, don't laugh -- "We'll win that cup!" they rap about a million times in this video, and this past Birthday Day Game, Melbourne did just that! (If you don't know what we're referring to, just be grateful. We watch way too many Scientology videos.)

Now, let's move on to more programming!


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16 comments
MrsLibnish
MrsLibnish

OMG!  That is just terrible. Once you watch it, you can't unwatch it.  Take this as a warning.

FistOfXenu
FistOfXenu

So in 1945 when LRH was supposed to be blind and crippled from all those combat injuries he never had from all the combat he never saw, he went to a meeting where people intelligent enough to invent and build the atomic bomb were stupid enough to announce that they wanted to overthrow the government? AND they announced their intention to build a bomb so each physicist could have one, so that the physicists could never be arrested? It's a good thing I've got good bladder control, I'm laughing so hard. LRH wrote crappy fiction as fiction and even crappier fiction as fact, but he could've made a decent clown.

Jgg
Jgg

  How about a TV game show entitled "Who wants to marry Tom Cruise?"  Scientology did choose his previous wife, after all.

Jgg
Jgg

  Did Ms. Hilton ever hurt anyone?

Poison Ivy
Poison Ivy

Wow. Just Wow. In the words of the Great One. Actually, no words can describe the Tom Cruise full "tribute" video.  Never saw it in its contextual entirety before (the pre-Award presentation video.)  First of all, to the dedicated workers of Golden Age Productions - umm, it's called "editing."  Secondly, seeing this video makes me understand better why Cruise would have a very hard time leaving this "religion."  Miscavige seems to have "created" an identity for Tom that is incomplete without Scientology.  In reading Tony's brilliant columns recently, it is becoming clear that Scientology is falling apart at the seams (and damn well about time - no thanks to the IRS or FBI or other law enforcement that should have taken them on long, long ago!).  But how can Mr. Cruise back away from this role he's been cast in without a massive losing of face?  Without a total loss of credibility? Does he even have the backbone to come out and say "I was duped?"  Who will he say he is without it?  Will he even know?

John P.
John P.

That doesn't make any sense.  Why would someone try to reach back into British comedy of several decades ago to compare a vicious evil cult like Scientology with the bizarrely rouge-costumed characters on Monty Python's "Spanish Inquisition" sketch?  How do the antics of Cardinals Ximenez, Fang and Biggles portray anything other than loopy incompetence?   I don't see the keepers of the Hole, when interrogating Heber, saying "Cardinal Fang, fetch ... the COMFY CHAIR!!!!!" ;-)

Clam On A Halfshell
Clam On A Halfshell

I'd say $cientology was like the Paris Hilton of religions: looks pretty, costs a lot, accomplishes nothing--but that would really be too kind.

ol cranky
ol cranky

a little late to the game here but can someone explain why DeDe is wearing a cross?

ol cranky
ol cranky

Adelai Niska (firefly) is a SP?  do they scilons gang up to get a SP fired since they're not allowed to talk to them?

Guest
Guest

Y & R has at least 2 scilons as well

ol cranky
ol cranky

He was a genius, but he wasn't right about everything.  triple helix anyone?

Guest
Guest

He was a genius, but he wasn't right about everything.  triple helix anyone?

AnonymousMeg
AnonymousMeg

(I'm Disconnected from) All My Children made me laugh out loud and spit cereal everywhere. Well done.

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