Categories: Scientology

Last year, the Church of Scientology bought the studios that had been the home for KCET, the public television station in Los Angeles.

Now, news organizations are reporting that Scientology plans to use the facility for its own TV station, and broadcast the way other religions do. So far, however, none of those news reports have explained what it is the church plans to broadcast.

And that's where we come in. We watch enough Scientology TV to know what's going to be hitting the airwaves -- or would be, if David Miscavige just let us be his programmer.

Let's launch things with the naturals for their own Yo! MTV Raps-style show, those infectious performers of the Melbourne Day Rap Battle Team! "That's us, baby!"

And hey, don't laugh -- "We'll win that cup!" they rap about a million times in this video, and this past Birthday Day Game, Melbourne did just that! (If you don't know what we're referring to, just be grateful. We watch way too many Scientology videos.)

Now, let's move on to more programming!

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