Westside Market NYC's "Man Aisle" -- And Why Dudes Should (Pretend To) Be Totally Pissed Off
The Westside Market NYC's new aisle -- which has been dubbed the "Aisle of Man" -- comes complete with beer, condoms, deodorant, steak sauce, and all the other dudely items only a man could possibly want from a grocery store.
With an aisle devoted to all things dude, we wondered "where's the outrage? Surely feminists would be all over this one." Well -- and granted we're not as familiar with the feminist blogosphere as some -- we could only find one lone feminist blogger in a huff over the penis-friendly aisle.
Because something so egregiously sexist deserves at least a little outrage, we'll offer some of our own -- and trust us, we are (not even a little bit) pissed!
The Westside Market NYC's dude-friendly aisle is an insult to men throughout New York. What, are us estrogen-less Gothamites so dumb that we can't successfully navigate a grocery store? Do we need to have all the things commercial America tells us we need to properly demonstrate our dudeliness in one lone aisle in the grocery store -- all while the rest of the store is open to everyone (everyone who doesn't have a penis, that is)?
Where's the Tide, the mops, the paper towels? Do us vaginally challenged numbskulls not clean, wash our clothes, or spill things? Do we need to venture into the confusing, uncharted waters that are the feminine-friendly "ladies aisles" to pick up some Febreeze or scented candles?
And are us phallically scorned grocery store neophytes even allowed to go on tampon runs for our lady friends anymore (not that we would -- or ever have)? And if so, where would be even find such items? They couldn't possibly be in the dude aisle -- because nothing screams "non-dude" like a shopping basket full of Tampax.
What do you think would happen if a "Chick Aisle" -- complete with baking supplies and weight-loss products -- popped up right next to the "Aisle of Man." It probably wouldn't be called a "publicity stunt," we'll tell you that much -- it would be called sexism. Nothing less -- and that's exactly what we have here.
Not since Elizabeth Cady Stanton was told she couldn't ride in the front of the bus has there been a more deliberate attack against a single sex -- and we won't stand for it. Not today, not ever.
So, Westside Market NYC -- on behalf of dudes nowhere -- we demand that you immediately rid your store of its insulting "Aisle of Man" and issue a sincere apology for creating something that we all want: a way to bypass all the prissy shit none of us would ever need -- like tampons and wine coolers -- and offering us a women-less environment to carefully select our steak, sample Axe body spray, and talk about beer to our hearts' content (insert dudely "grunt" here).