Bath Salt Apocalypse: Long Island "Head Shop" Permanently Banned From Selling Synthetic Drugs

A "head shop" in Long Island will have to stick to selling bongs and patchouli oil after a Nassau County judge ruled that it can no longer sell synthetic drugs like bath salts and fake weed.

Following an undercover investigation -- and subsequent lawsuit -- by the New York Attorney General's Office, "mislabeled or unlabeled" products like the aforementioned synthetic drugs will be permanently pulled from the shelves of the Daze Smoke Shop at 574 Sunrise Highway in Baldwin after a Nassau County judge signed an order permanently banning the store from selling the items.

Bath salts, as we've chronicled, recently have led to an inexplicable wave in cannibalistic attacks -- so in the spirit of not wanting to have our faces gnawed off, we applaud the ban.

Further reading on the Bath Salt Apocalypse:

-Naked Georgia Man Rambles About Tupac and Biggie Before Threatening To Eat Cop
-Louisiana Man Gnaws Neighbor's Face
-Utica Woman Threatens To Eat Cop While High On Bath Salts
-Miami Zombie Eats Homeless Man's Face

Following the A.G.'s investigation, lawsuits were filed against 12 head shop retailers across New York for violating the state's labeling laws by selling the designer drugs under the guise that they're merely "herbal incenses." However, these "herbal incenses" just happen to have been linked to dozens of violent (oftentimes cannibalistic) assaults across the country.

Attorney General Eric Schneiderman says the undercover investigations revealed that employees at the stores -- which span from Buffalo to Long Island -- were illegally selling the drugs, which have innocuous names that give users the impression that they're harmless. But they're not -- as we mentioned, they often turn people into cannibals.

In May, a senior investigator from the AG's Office made four separate investigative visits to two head shops in the Rochester area, both named "Look ah Hookah." The agent bought two variations of the "powerful smokable substance K2" labeled "Zombie Matter" and "Voodoo." According to Schneiderman, both of the drugs were described by a clerk as "herbal incenses."

On a second trip to one of the stores, the investigator got his hands on other synthetic drugs like Fly Agaric Mushrooms, a well-known psychedelic, and Salvia. He also bought a bong recommended by a clerk to be the "best" way to smoke the drug.

On a third trip, the investigator bought "MJ Blueberry Aromatic Potpourri" and "kratom" an "extremely potent plant with opiate-like effects." According to Schneiderman, the drugs were advertised and labeled as "potpourri" or "incense," and the agent again purchased a smoking device at the recommendation of the store's clerk.

Technically, these drugs are legal. However, federal and state laws require that "all consumer commodities, at a minimum, be labeled to describe net contents, identity of the product, and the name and place of business of the product's manufacturer, packer, and distributor."

In other words, if you're going to sell drugs that potentially turn people into cannibals, calling it "incense" and then recommending they buy a bong from which to smoke it isn't gonna fly.

"The proliferation of illegal synthetic drugs has become a national crisis. In Rochester and across the state, our undercover investigations have revealed the widespread sales and promotion of bath salts and other dangerous drugs that are destroying people's lives," Schneiderman says. "We discovered that head shop employees were giving tutorials on how to use dangerous intoxicants. With today's actions, we are fighting back to control this crisis, and ensure that the days of profiting off the illegal sale of these dangerous drugs are over."

Normally, we wouldn't be applauding a law enforcement official for wasting time and money fighting the "war on drugs." However, synthetic drugs are fucking terrifying -- again, they apparently turn people into cannibals.

Maja Lundborg-Gray, M.D. at Samaritan Medical Center in Watertown, says the violence associated with synthetic drugs is unprecedented.

"There is a completely new level of violence and unpredictability associated with these patients. In some instances, hospital staff have been diverted from helping other patients in order to assist in securing and stabilizing designer drug users," Lundborg-Gray says.

In addition to the ban, Daze owners Kim and Ryan Fulcher have been ordered to pay a $17,000 fine