Gawker, Daily Mail Re-Tell 10-Year-Old Blowjob Story. Yes, Ladies: Blowjobs Will Still Make You Happy

gallupgordon.jpg
Gentlemen: this is Professor Gordon Gallup. Because of him, whenever your girlfriend is in a bad mood, you can say "maybe giving me a blowjob will make you feel better" and have science to back you up.
Gentlemen: we all owe State University of New York researcher Gordon Gallup a big-time "thank you" -- albeit a decade late.

Websites like Gawker and the Daily Mail are "reporting" today that Gallup has successfully proven what many of us have been telling women since the beginning of time: giving blowjobs will make you happy. Subsequently, they also make men pretty happy, so it's really a win-win.

Only problem is, Gallup proved this 10 years ago, and it's been written about -- at length -- ever since.

Regardless, there's no sense in not reiterating such a beneficial study -- even if our fellow members of the Fourth Estate seem to think this is something new.

So here's what Gallup found -- again, 10 years ago:

According to science, the "mood-altering" qualities of semen can help fight depression in women because semen, it turns out, contains at least three anti-depressants.

Semen, you see, is made up of cortisol, estrone and melatonin, all of which have qualities that will put you in a good mood.

Gallup conducted the study at the University of Albany, where he's a professor of psychology.

He compared the mental health to the sex lives of 293 women via-an anonymous survey, so the subjects could answer honestly without fear of coming across as slutty.

We sent Gallup an email asking if there's anything he'd like to say to the millions of men who owe him a debt of gratitude. We haven't heard back.

So there you have it, ladies -- feelin' down? Depressed? Maybe you just can't get out of a funk? Well, forget the ice cream and shopping and just get yourself some dude juice.


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
10 comments
Cassidy
Cassidy

Actually, do those anti-depressants survive the digestive process??

 

Besides, seems like a lot of women don't like to swallow!

IJLAYK
IJLAYK like.author.displayName 1 Like

Self-serving much? You notice no women write about these things.

BeenThereDoneThat
BeenThereDoneThat

 @IJLAYK You don't read much erotica, do you IJLAYK? Literary porn is the best selling genre in publishing and it is totally dominated by women writing for women. Ever heard of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy or A Lusting Couple? Women write about what you refer to as "these things" far more than men.

IJLAYK
IJLAYK

 @BeenThereDoneThat  @IJLAYK I meant that I have been hard pressed to find a woman who finds it worth the proverbial ink to write news articles/blogs about the medical benefits/scientific justifications for engaging in oral sex.

JamesKing
JamesKing like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @IJLAYK Someone sounds like they're in a bit of a mood. Perhaps I can help?

IJLAYK
IJLAYK like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @JamesKing I presume you believe (1) I am a natural-born woman to which this subject of this article applies and (2) that such crude flirting is (a) appropriate and (b) welcomed. You are repulsive Mr. King.

Peepit
Peepit like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @IJLAYK

 If it helps things, I can watch.

lkwartler
lkwartler like.author.displayName 1 Like

I'm so proud of my alma mater.

JimmyBoy
JimmyBoy like.author.displayName 1 Like

One step closer to licking a terrible disease.

 

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...