Paul Ryan Really Likes Rage Against the Machine (By Accident)

No, pigs are not flying - this story is just too ironically hilarious to not report on.


Ever hear of Rage Against the Machine? We're sure you have: the band formed in the late 1980s and grew to fame throughout the Clinton years, as a response to Generation X's tendency to corporatize and globalize seemingly anything that moved. Headed by the vibrant frontman Zach de la Rocha, with legendary guitarist Tom Morello shredding in the background, the group captured that post-modern hatred towards authority present in the youth of America, showing flares of anarchy, socialism and mass upheaval. Although they are on a somewhat permanent hiatus, the group has lent its power in recent years to come out against the RNC, the Middle East wars and the Obama administration.

And Rep. Paul Ryan, the possible President of the U.S.A., loves 'em. He has told the media over and over again that he just loves their music. The lyrics? Well, we guess he either doesn't really pay attention or has no idea who Che Guevara is. It's damn good music for P90X workouts, too.

Now, if you know Rage and what they stand for, you will realize how absurd this is - a guy with oil ties, a worth somewhere around $3 million and a budget that would put the One Percent on a higher pedestal than ever is not exactly the demographic de la Rocha was telling to rise up. But, nonetheless, Ryan can't get enough. And, what's even worse, they absolutely hate him. Well, at least Tom Morello does.

In what could be considered a 'takedown' piece, but in the nicest way possible, Morello wrote an editorial about their biggest fan in Rolling Stone three days ago. Imagine a member of your favorite band wrote a piece in a major magazine, telling you to never listen to their music again because you represent everything the band absolutely fucking hates. Well, take that emotion and multiply it by 100. Viola... you have Rage Against the Machine in its purest form.

Here's a snippet to get a sense of what we're working with:

Paul Ryan's love of Rage Against the Machine is amusing, because he is the embodiment of the machine that our music has been raging against for two decades. Charles Manson loved the Beatles but didn't understand them. Governor Chris Christie loves Bruce Springsteen but doesn't understand him. And Paul Ryan is clueless about his favorite band, Rage Against the Machine.

Ryan claims that he likes Rage's sound, but not the lyrics. Well, I don't care for Paul Ryan's sound or his lyrics. He can like whatever bands he wants, but his guiding vision of shifting revenue more radically to the one percent is antithetical to the message of Rage.

I wonder what Ryan's favorite Rage song is? Is it the one where we condemn the genocide of Native Americans? The one lambasting American imperialism? Our cover of "Fuck the Police"? Or is it the one where we call on the people to seize the means of production? So many excellent choices to jam out to at Young Republican meetings!

It's alright, Paul; the members of Rage are just really angry with your policies, not you as a person! They don't hate you, in particular, just everything you stand for. So, now, you have two options:

1. You could continue to listen to Rage and just say "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me."

2. Or just burn everything you own by them. Because, as you said, you only really like their music.

[jsurico15@gmail.com/@JSuricz]

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7 comments
BrickStOxford
BrickStOxford

@oxboxobservtns ha! this is actually hilarious

gynnady
gynnady

I can't be the only one old enough to remember when RATM's biggest fan was Alan Keyes, although what he was really a fan of was their apparent cover band, The Machine Rages On.

sethbeth
sethbeth

What is really ironic is that the 'machine' is the government.  An all-invasive bureaucratic body that can provide or take anything from us.  This band, made up of 1% millionaires, promotes the building of the 'machine'.  What happens when governments become too big?  The first thing they do is clamp down on voices of dissent just like this band.  They will be the first to cry foul when that happens, but the irony is that they were the builders of the machine in the first place.

hapmp
hapmp

 @sethbeth That's a lot of words to say, "I don't know who Rage Against the Machine are and I've never heard their music before."

 

Plenty of RATM's music is critical of actions by the government, including both foreign (e.g. imperialism) and domestic policy (e.g. poor treatment of American Indians), and they've publicly supported many causes that are critical of government, including corporatism, various individuals who have been wrongly and unfairly convicted of crimes, etc.

 

You also don't seem to understand that there's no inherent hypocrisy between Morello and others being financially well-off and criticizing capitalism, corporatism, imperialism, etc. They aren't communists and they don't inherently hate all rich people, they just hate policies and actions that harm innocent people. It just so happens that the majority of this harm happens to people without wealth and power and is committed by people with wealth and power.

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