Donald Trump, Publicity Slut, Will Blow Our Minds on Wednesday -- In 140 Characters or Less

Categories: Trumped
Brace yourselves, New York: Donald Trump will be making an announcement on Wednesday that -- according to him -- could change everything in this year's presidential election. And he will be making this monumental announcement on Twitter -- the appropriate forum for such colossal news to be broken.

Trump appeared on Fox and Friends this morning where he announced the announcement.

"We have sources, Donald, who tell us you have a large -- bordering on gigantic -- announcement this week," co-host Steve Doocy asked, setting the Donald up for his announcement...of an announcement.

When asked what this "gigantic" announcement included, Trump kept things vague, telling Doocy, "It's all in one -- everything -- it's very big."

He added that "I know you will cover it in a very big fashion."

Has Trump finally found the nonexistent proof that the president is a Kenyan version of the Manchurian Candidate sent to the U.S. by his Muslim brothers to destroy the country? Did the Donald uncover Obama's fictitious Jihadist roots? Is he announcing a breakthrough in tinfoil helmet technology?

Who knows -- but our breath, obviously, is bated. Our minds, ready to be blown -- Donald Trump is about to change the world...with a "tweet!"

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