Iranian Technology, Gays, Women's Suffrage All Credited With Causing Hurricane Sandy

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Naked Pastor
Duh.
Hurricane Sandy was caused by Iranian technology that's capable of controlling weather patterns to punish Iran's enemies and the enemies of its friends. The reason the storm hit New York so hard is because God is punishing the Empire State for defying his word and allowing gay people to get married.

But what really caused the storm was "American arrogance" -- it's just nature's way of giving the U.S. a "divine slap" for its godless policies, including allowing women to vote.

Those are just a few of the theories laid out on the blogosphere by morons who unfortunately are allowed Internet access.

The Iranian technology theory is provided by a pro-Syria group that claims Iran has "highly advanced technology" that can manipulate weather and create "superstorms" to hurt its enemies.

The best part: The group has "sources."

"Sources confirmed to us that Hurricane Sandy that is slamming the U.S. was set off by highly advanced technologies developed by the heroic Iranian regime that supports the resistance, with coordination of our resistive Syrian regime," the News Network of the Syrian Armed Forces posted on its Facebook page this week, according to a CNN translation.

The worst part is some people actually are buying this bullshit.

"Why are you surprised by such a heroic act that our special forces carried out with the help of the Iranian experts?," one person commented. "Yes this is the great work of the brave lions of Syria in retaliation to the evil conspiracy against our great nation. We will have our victory even if it will take some time."

As for the gays causing the hurricane, the logic is simple: God is punishing America because if its "pro-homosexual" policies.

"Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem. Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda. America is under political judgment and the church does not know it!," religious nutjob/total fucking idiot chaplain John McTernan wrote in a rambling, idiotic blog posted on his website this week.

Of course, if you want the real reason the Northeast was hit with a crushing hurricane, look no further than Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

"The fact that Ohio housewives will determine who should occupy the White House to decide on such weighty issues as dealing with the Middle East, Iran's nuclear program or U.S. relations with Russia is quite amusing, and revealing," a blogger for Crescent International -- which bills itself as the newsmagazine of the Islamist movement -- wrote earlier this week.

"This is what American democracy is all about. But for now, Hurricane Sandy, as a divine slap on the face of arrogance, is smashing its way through the Eastern Coast of the U.S."

So there you have it -- if you were wondering why your car was devoured by the East River, you have no electricity, or why New Jersey is still underwater, the fringe lunatics of the blogosphere have your answer.
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3 comments
aceconsulting
aceconsulting

This is AMAZING.     It's is a complete joke.      Honestly, I take this attack personal because on November 14, 2012 the Huffington Post blacklisted me because I posted a comment regarding how God is real and tangible.  In 2009 the United States government murdered a wealthy friend of mine, stole everything I had from me and left me homeless, grieving and trying to piece back my shattered life.      The approximate value that was taken from me was $10 million, however, Steve Cooley, the Los Angeles District Attorney, informed me that my total property losses of $10 million did not meet their primarily requirement of $300,000.00 to consider investigating.    Mr. Cooley had ignored me almost 4 years, until the day I confronted him with a murder allegation against his Masonic brother, R. William Rheinschild.    In closing Mr. Cooley redirected me back to the local authorities as an insult.   Thus,  I decided to write a book regarding my ordeal and in August 2012, I self-published a memoir regarding the injustices I have been condemned with.    In the last chapter of my book, I elevated my case to God's jurisdiction.   I stated “the lord, my G-D, will avenge me for the injustices done to me. The all-powerful G-D that rules this universe will bring Rheinswine to his KNEES by damaging his buildings beyond repair, which will send him into bankruptcy!  Mother Earth, hear me now, the time is upon us, upset your oceans, anger your skies, empty your mountains and flood your rivers; defy gravity with rain that never touches the ground, and burn fire that nothing can extinguish.  Show Rheinswine, his  brethren, and all who support them, how insignificant they really are. If this is what they want, then so be it, this is what they shall have! Damn them to Hell, and may they enjoy, every minute of it! With the power of G-D, and by the force of G-D’s gravity, the strength of the Angelic Army and the destructive force of Mother Nature:  We Stand United as one collective body, driving forward with the all mighty power of G-D behind us; with Lucifer, standing three feet in front of me, and an army of Angels standing three feet behind me. …  THIS IS WAR!” © 2012 ..... pages 163-164.   Then, on October 16, 2012 I issued a Press Release warning the United States, Vatican and global community that God would not ignore me and if the Human Race refused to acknowledge me, then "the Lord, my God, would avenge me for the injustices committed by these Freemason in Hate against an archangel"©2012.  I further specified that when God's lamb were killed in a rock quarry, it would signify a point of no return and nothing would be able to save us from the fate that lies before us.  On November 7, 2012, that deadline was met when the entire Vasquez family [except one] perished in a rock quarry during a 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Guatemala.  The American people, Roman Catholic Church and every Christian has failed the test. In response, the Huffington Post blacklisted me because they were unable to discredit me and to add insult to injury, this article is the example of the conceit which has contributed to the current national situation.     For the record, I have vowed that once God seats me in Power, I will do everything possible to  ensure these transgressors are kept alive and when I inquisition the Freemason Fraternal Alliance, I promise there will be no blood shed because I want each Freemason to be alive as long as possible so I may repay them for the treatment they have given me.     Call me crazy, but the reality is, as long as God is endorsing my plight, the opinion of social excrement doesn't mean SHIT.

lamanlvr
lamanlvr

Heterosexuals are fucking HILARIOUS.

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