"My Job Is Fucked": NY Republicans Respond to Four More Years of "Obamunism"

Categories: Election 2012
gopelectionnight.jpg
James King
The man on the left was unwilling to concede defeat even after Fox News had declared Barack Obama the winner of last night's election. "Trust me, I took a math class in grad school," he said.

New York Republican Party chairman Ed Cox started last night's "victory party" in a ballroom at the Westin Grand Central hotel in midtown by assuring the roughly 300 attendees that he was confident that Mitt Romney would be the country's next president.

By the end of the night, Cox looked like someone shit in his cereal -- and he wasn't the only one.

In the roughly four hours we spent celebrating a nonexistent victory with the state's GOP, we watched the mood go from jovial (read: tipsy) to hopeful to worried. By 10:30 p.m., as it became clear that securing the must-win states of Florida and Ohio for Romney was out of the question, New York's Republicans acted like teenage drama queens.

"My job is fucked," one woman sobbed into a cell phone.

When we asked her what she did for a living -- thinking that she's probably a healthcare worker who might feel the wrath of the implementation of Obama care -- she responded, "I'm a manager at a hotel."

Another man explained that he was "reluctant to call [Obama] evil," but he leaves "aborted babies suffering in the sheets."

He then summed up the impending loss by claiming that "the Dems have a better ground game -- a get-out-the-vote game -- than we do."

Of course! It's not unpopular policies -- barging their way into people's bedrooms by telling gay people they can't get married, or pissing off Hispanics (the largest emerging voter bloc in the entire country) by failing to embrace comprehensive immigration-reform measures like the DREAM Act -- that doomed Romney, it's the lack of a "ground game."

Another woman screeched that she doesn't "understand how an unqualified person can be president -- and he wins again!"

Must be the ground game.

Some other observations from last night's "victory party" include the following: failed Senate candidate Wendy Long gave a concession speech. But only about 20 people heard it -- as she admitted defeat, the majority of the attendees were sipping drinks and barely paying attention. Missouri Senate candidate Todd "legitimate rape" Akin's inevitable defeat was no skin off the ass of New York Republicans -- there was barely a "sigh" as Fox News reported the loss. Even New York's right-wingers seem to think Akin's an asshole.

The most apparent observation we made during last night's party was the lack of color -- and we're not talking about the decorations. We counted approximately nine black people. Nine. In New York City.

Just prior to Romney's concession speech, Conservative columnist Charles Krauthammer appeared on Fox News and said the following: "Republicans need to rethink how they address Hispanics."

And while the missed opportunity to embrace Hispanic voters probably led to Romney's only receiving about 30 percent of the Hispanic vote, that's just part of the problem Republicans must address before they try their hand at national politics again.

GOP candidates could appeal to much of mainstream America when it comes to economic and foreign policies. And according to a lot of the polling taken before the election, they did. But then idiots like Akin start talking about things like "legitimate rape" and how a couple of dudes who love each other shouldn't be allowed to tie the knot because a fictitious book written thousands of years ago says so.   


The hateful stupidity of the GOP's social policies distracts from legitimate issues -- and that's why Mitt Romney lost last night.

But what do we know? It was probably just the "ground game."

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4 comments
RomneyRyan2012
RomneyRyan2012

If you ascribe to the view that aborting fetuses is not "hateful stupidity", then maybe you can take this article seriously.

AbortedFetus
AbortedFetus

 @RomneyRyan2012 

you know, there are other issues in this world besides abortion.  Maybe you should read about them.  And secondly, babies have been aborted since the 60's under republicans and democratic presidents.  Is this all you have to say about Obama???

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