Nobody Was Shot or Stabbed in New York on Monday; Gangsters Dumbfounded
Categories: Crime
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| www.9gag.com |
"Yeah, I didn't hear about any shit poppin' off on Monday. Weird," our go-to gang source -- who just so happens to be our next door neighbor -- tells the Voice. "Was it a holiday?"
Police sources confirmed to the New York Daily News this morning that there were no reported shootings, stabbings, or slicings in any of the five boroughs on Monday -- and nobody can seem to remember the last time that happened.
From the Daily News:
"Nice way to start the week," said Paul Browne, the NYPD's top spokesman.
Neither Browne nor other officials could remember the last time a day ended with three zeros.
There was, however, one shooting on Monday (sort of) -- but it was somewhat Plaxico-esque.
According to police sources, a 16-year-old was taken to Bronx Lebanon Hospital with a gunshot wound to his left thigh. It was determined, though, that he shot himself accidentally.
As we reported earlier this year, our source -- a 20-year-old "Crip" from Crown Heights -- also found himself on the wrong end of his own gun; he shot himself in the thigh while watching TV on our couch, according to the bullet hole currently in our couch.
When informed that another New Yorker Plaxico'd himself, our source says "stop calling me Plaxico, son."
Never.
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