Rightbloggers Anticipate Romney Landslide, Denounce Nate Silver, Katy Perry

tomt200.jpgThe election's Tuesday, and the whole political blogosphere is one endless screaming rah-rah for one candidate or another. We advise against all direct contact with it from now till next weekend.

The preemptive victory dances of the left blogosphere are, as we never tire of paraphrasing Jed Leland, no concern of this department. But we can offer you some welder's glass through which you may safely view the rightbloggers' state of dudgeon in these last, horrible days of this wretched campaign.

Most rightbloggers seemed to grasp that no final case for Romney they could make would reach undecided voters, and spent their lung power pumping up hopes of a Republican win.

Some were cagey about it: Instapundit's Glenn Reynolds quoted a Republican who said of the RINO Romney, "Romney was not my first, second, or third choice, but I will crawl over ground glass to vote for him," and postulated, "A lot of Republicans -- and, judging from polls, a lot of independents -- feel this way. If there are enough of them, Romney will win, and win big."

Very qualified, this optimism -- but Reynolds had more: While he acknowledged that "people on the Right" didn't show up for John McCain in 2008, he believed they would do so for the father of Romneycare because, for one thing, these people of the Right "stood in line for hours at Chick-fil-A restaurants to buy chicken sandwiches in response to politicians' bullying," he said -- or because they hate gay people, take your pick.

Reynolds also pleaded the magic of the movies as evidence. He cited the hit rightwing documentary Obama's America: 2016, which at $33.4 million gross is the #2 political documentary earner of all time, and should do as much to elect Romney as the #1 political documentary earner, Fahrenheit 9/11, did to elect President John Kerry in 2004. Reynolds added that the PotR also "packed houses at the 'Hating Breitbart' premiere," which film as of November 1 had made $55,606 at the box office.

Not all rightbloggers were as guarded as Reynolds. Many were convinced by predictions by Michael Barone and Dick Morris that Romney would not merely win, but would win in a landslide. ("You can bet these predictions sent shock waves through the inner circles of both campaigns yesterday," said The American Catholic.)

Maggie's Notebook didn't need anyone's outside confirmation, as she'd "had a gnawing feeling way down, deep inside, where my intuition resides," that "the Republican Party is going to clean the Democratic Party's clock! "

Here's what convinced her: "Well, if you have listened to broadcast news reports over the past few weeks you have noticed how often the word 'narrative' is spoken. It has been used multiple times to describe the Mainstream Media's slant on this election cycle. And I do mean 'slant' -as in bias."

It wasn't very clever of the Mainsteam Media to reveal their "narrative" plot in their very own broadcast news reports, and because of this, continued Maggie's Notebook, "slowly, the veil the MsM had drawn cross Mitt Romney was ripped and shredded and cast aside. Suddenly, America saw a man who was not promising pie in the sky. In fact, if anything, he was offering blood, sweat, and tears, much as Winston Churchill had offered many decades before to the Brits." We're still looking for the transcript of that Romney speech, but if that doesn't accomplish victory, Maggie's Notebook assured us, there was always "the combined prayers of millions of God's people imploring their God to intervene and help them save their country. Combine the prayers of millions of Catholics to those of the Evangelicals and miracles WILL HAPPEN." Throw in unstinting use of bold and italic type, and they can't lose.

Israpundit reported that the bellwether state of Israel "is not just blue and white; it is solidly red." Cute, but how does that increase Romney's U.S. vote total? Because American citizens living in Israel get to vote absentee, Israpundit explained, and "the total vote from Israel-80,000 ballots-is huge... 7,500 Israel-based Floridians voted; another 3,500 voted in Ohio; and 3,500 more voted in Pennsylvania.... If the vote from the front-row is so lopsidedly for Romney, that can only mean one thing for the direction it will influence the vote back in America." Now, if Jewish Palm Beach voters go rightwing, we'll have a better explanation than we had in 2000.

teapartypeeps.jpg
Victory is nigh.
Glenn Beck's The Blaze offered a roundup of "THE BIGGEST NAMES PREDICTING" a Romney landslide including Karl Rove, George Will, and Glenn Beck. The Clermont Tea Party had their own "Landslide" metric: "Romney Rally Outdraws President By A Landslide." That is, the Clermont Tea Party told readers that Romney's last-minute rallies in Ohio outdrew Obama's, and provided several pictures -- some of Romney rally crowds, but mostly of their own members standing by the sides of several Ohio roads as they dashed around the state waving signs accusing Obama of murder in Benghazi in hopes that the President would see them.

For example, outside Lima, "there was some confusion as to where the President's entourage and the press would drive by us," the Clermont Tea Party reported, but though "the press ultimately went a different way than we did... we were perfectly situated to be seen by the President and his motorcade." This is what victory smells like.

At HillBuzz, the wonderful Kevin DuJan said he would watch MSNBC November 6th, because "I really think that Chris Matthews' face is going to melt off completely on Election Night. Rachel Maddow will sit there in stoned silence. Al Sharpton will scream 'RACISTS! THIS IS ALL RACIST-ISM!'... It's going to be marvelous seeing them all realize Nate Silver was lying to them and that there is in actuality a 0% of Obama being reelected." Well, you can't say he doesn't have hard numbers.

Wayne Allyn Root, the 2008 Libertarian Party vice-presidential nominee and author of Millionaire Republican: Why Rich Republicans Get Rich--and How You Can Too!, continued the proud tradition of libertarians for Romney, predicting "Christians Will Empower A Romney Landslide."

"I'm not a pollster," he admitted. "...My polls are my gut instincts." Not that Root didn't do research: "While the media and pollsters talked about 'Romney's single female gap,'" Root wrote, "I talked to married women and found them angry, offended, motivated and mobilized to defeat Obama." There's that liberal myth dispensed with! Then, "while the media talked about 'Romney's black voter gap'" -- yeah, we were looking forward to that too, but Root pulled a change-up: "I talked to white voters and found them angry, offended, motivated and mobilized to defeat Obama." No point talking to black voters, we guess, married or not.

Anyway, more important than any of these blocs in 2012 would be the "Catholics and evangelical Christians," Root told us, because, as one would expect of Christ's followers, they feel "seething anger" and "are sick of turning the other cheek," and thus will turn their godly rage on the atheist Obama. "Chick-fil-A was the subtle hint of what's coming on Nov. 6," added Root. "I guess New York Times pollster Nate Silver didn't notice."

Ah yes, Nate Silver: The sports stats guy who reported the 2008 election with impressive accuracy has been putting Obama's chances for Tuesday around 80%. Silver's polling barely bothered the brethren before this year, but because his predictions conflict with their anticipated victory, he is now presumed to be lying and sabotaging his own career on Obama's behalf. Robert Stacy McCain, for example, claimed Silver "may continue telling that to his readers, but Nate cannot actually believe that."

The most spectacular such response was that of Dean Chambers, the fellow who created "unskewed polls" that show Romney winning in a landslide, so there. Chambers explained that Silver's model couldn't be right because "Silver is a man of very small stature, a thin and effeminate man with a soft-sounding voice that sounds almost exactly like the 'Mr. New Castrati' voice used by Rush Limbaugh on his program. In fact, Silver could easily be the poster child for the New Castrati in both image and sound." Plus liberals suck.

At National Review, Katrina Trinko denounced "those on the center and on the left laughing at those on the right 'unskewing' the polls or questioning the partisan breakdown in the polling sample," because "it's unfair to conservatives to simply mock them for questioning the partisan breakdown of polls." No fair laughing! That would upset the heretofore gentlemanly conduct of the campaign.

Others just raged at the unfairness of everything. PJ Media's Zombie, for example, told readers that this election had no October Surprise, no "last-minute, unexpected, shocking scandal to rock the presidential election," because "everything [Obama's] ever done is scandalous... Anyone's who been paying attention since 2008 has literally been in paralytic shock every single day. We spent October 2012 exactly as we've spent every month of the last four years: Our jaws on the floor, aghast, stupefied, unable to breathe." No wonder they write the way they do.

Some took a conciliatory come-let-us-reason-together approach, at least for a couple of paragraphs. After nobly declaring that, should the election not go as hoped for whichever party, citizens should nonetheless assent to "give and take, concessions, and a willingness to forgo partisan advantage in the interest of preserving our republic," Mark Tapscott added that "somebody ought to sit Harry Reid down next Wednesday morning and have a 'Come-to-Compromise' talk," and attacked the Majority Leader's "narrow-minded, shrill take-no-prisoners partisanship." Tapscott made no mention of the House Republican leadership's approach to compromise, but he did use the word "compromise" six times, and so must be counted a uniter rather than a divider

Those of the brethren who refrained from predictions of victory focused on stray outrages.

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41 comments
jazzgrasschic
jazzgrasschic

@markos Never mind! Roy Edroso. Gonna follow!

jazzgrasschic
jazzgrasschic

@markos WHO is that writer? Effing hilarious!

debdlund
debdlund

@markos they are delusional.

chickeee
chickeee

@markos gotta put some $$ down on this

ggindc
ggindc

@markos I am very glad to be a Democrat.

mwk89
mwk89

@markos and you just know in about 24hrs the "election is rigged" talk will start up again from the rightwingers

myspace3
myspace3

Maggie's Notebook didn't need anyone's outside confirmation, as she'd "had a gnawing feeling way down, deep inside, where my intuition resides."

 

That might be a pinworm. Check to see if the hens eggs have fecal matter on the shells.

danielsdoyle
danielsdoyle

The "right bloggers" are providing cover for the coming election fraud, and so is this article.

meeeshiganrepub
meeeshiganrepub

No landslide anticipated from this Michigan conservative.  I've gotten accustomed to watching the liberal left blindly elect corrupt officials based on skin color and the goose bumps they get when they listen to them speak.  Detroit would reelect Kwame in a heartbeat if he could run for mayor again in Detroit.  Silly people will send Obama back for 4 more years too.  Time to stockpile.

manipulativewitch
manipulativewitch

Why DOESN'T Nate Silver use more bigoted fried-chicken-buying in his model? And you wonder why he has skeptics!

ChrisV82
ChrisV82

The Conservatives should just write in Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy as their candidate. It seems that was the most important news event of the year for them, probably because it has to do with fast food and gay sex.

editor92
editor92

Election day is shaping up to be a racist/fascist nightmare, but I do see signs that many wingers are beginning to remember how much they despised Romney during most of his six-year campaign; possibly that will temper the fallout a bit if Obama wins.

RedScareBot
RedScareBot

Most unheard of RT @gdindc Damn that Katy Perry! Commie dupe or History's Greatest Monster? REAL AMERICA won't forget! @tbogg @villagevoice

substancemcgravitas
substancemcgravitas

"The brethren will react full-throatedly"

 

Are we back on the ramming thing again?

JennOfArk
JennOfArk

"This is what victory smells like."

 

Only if "victory" smells like stale egg-salad farts.

Djur
Djur

Small point of clarification: Nate Silver doesn't do any polling. He just aggregates polls and applies a model to them.

Leedsman
Leedsman

I don't get it. What's wrong with revenge? With The Serenity Prayer and vodka, it forms the Sacred Tripod of Life.

mds_is_not_4_chars
mds_is_not_4_chars

"Combine the prayers of millions of Catholics to those of the Evangelicals and miracles WILL HAPPEN."

 

For example, millions of Evangelicals will turn out to vote for a polytheist who doesn't believe in their Hell.

 

'Anyway, more important than any of these blocs in 2012 would be the "Catholics and evangelical Christians," Root told us, because, ...'

 

... nothing says "Biblical values" like choosing someone who values the Book of Mormon more highly than the Bible, rather than a Congregationalist.

JennOfArk
JennOfArk

 @meeeshiganrepub Please elaborate on Obama's "corruption," because it seems mostly notable in its absence.  And if you say "Solyndra," be aware that we're going to quote the "swallowing camels yet straining at gnats" Bible verse to you, given the bonanzas for private contractors that were the Iraq War, the Afghanistan War, and post-Katrina reconstruction, all of which were designed specifically to be such by the Bush Administration and none of which seemed to concern "conservatives" all that much until the black guy inheirited the bills due from all of the above.

reddy6ue
reddy6ue

 @JennOfArk Our victories don't smell like yours. Once again. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

BillStewart2012
BillStewart2012

 @Djur But that's even worse!  That Commie Nate Silver is taking all the polls and coming to a conclusion that contradicts everything you hear inside the right-wing news bubble!  La, la, la, we can't hear that!

 

It's as bad as if, back when he was mostly doing baseball stats, he said Your Favorite Team was probably going to lose again, because they aren't as good as the Other Guys!  No Way!  We're Number 1!   (Unless you're Cubs fans, of course, in which case everybody knows they're going to lose but you go to the games anyway.)

BillStewart2012
BillStewart2012

 @JennOfArk  @meeeshiganrepub Solyndra wasn't fraud, just failure, like one of G.W.Bush's oil companies.  Now, Halliburton appears to have lost track of more money in _actual_cash_ than the total amount of money invested in Solyndra.  But when Solyndra found that their economic models weren't going to work (because their competition was already cheaper than their shiny new factory), they didn't just take the money out of the employee 401Ks like Enron or hide all their equipment like a bunch of Bush-era FEMA trailers, they had the honesty to say "hey, we failed", and put the factory up for sale. 

 

I drive by that now-closed factory on the way to work.  And Romney will be happy to know that there was a lot of non-union labor used to build it (the unions picketed it during construction) and that it's still available if Bain Capital wants to restructure it.

JennOfArk
JennOfArk

 @meeeshiganrepub  @JennOfArk Interesting how none of that is what most English-speakers would define as "corruption" which was, I will remind you, your initial charge.  Instead you've presented a laundry list of policies with which you disagree.  Nothing wrong with disagreeing, but "I disagree with that" does not = "corruption."  Which is one of the major problems with you yobs - you don't even understand the basic meanings of words in what is allegedly your mother tongue, and it leads you into making total jackasses of yourselves.

Leedsman
Leedsman

 @meeeshiganrepub  @Leedsman  @JennOfArk And if you actually try to answer for an established fact, your wee head will explode.

 

Oh, and class war? Keep sucking, sunshine. Those CEOs ain't gonna blow themselves.

meeeshiganrepub
meeeshiganrepub

 @Leedsman  @JennOfArk

Haaaaa.  You called me a cracker.   Haaaaaa haaaa haa ha.  Hee he he.  Giggle giggle.  If you tell a fact a thousand times, it will never become false.  You say cracka like a cracka.

Leedsman
Leedsman

 @meeeshiganrepub  @JennOfArk <i>The awesome bets on green energy companies that didn't go bankrupt</i>

 

Less than 1% of the 1,300 funded companies went bankrupt? Shocking! Keep spinning those factoids, cracker.

meeeshiganrepub
meeeshiganrepub

 @JennOfArk

 Why you love Obama; He passed immigration reform, closed Gitmo, reduced the deficit, lowered unemployment, put forth an energy policy to increase domestic oil and natural gas production, the incredible investments in shovel ready projects with the stimulus. The awesome bets on green energy companies that didn't go bankrupt or ship production overseas, lowered the number of people in poverty, let the Bush tax cuts expire, didn’t engage in class warfare, put forth clear and concise legislation with Obamacare so you didn't have to pass it to find out what was in it. We have fewer people on food stamps, our economy has never been better, transparency has been a Hallmark of his administration, he has yet to hire a single lobbyist. He and Eric Holder have done an exceptional job keeping guns out of the hands of Mexican cartels killing border agents and the black panthers that stood outside a voting place were prosecuted to the fullest extent. Race relati...ons are at an all time high, and health care premiums were cut in half. CEO's also have a clear path before them knowing what the impact of Obamacare will be and they know for certain what next year will bring because the fiscal cliff option that happens in December is off of the table. Put that all together with a very clear and concise statement regarding the killing of our ambassador in Libya, the murders of 3 American citizens and an attack on US sovereign soil @ our embassy because of a YouTube video, and this guy has your vote all day long. Here's to four more promise fulfilled years.............oh wait.....none of that.....is true.....damn!

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