Rightbloggers Revisit the Battle of Chick-fil-A with Papa John's Anti-Obama Crap Food Fest
Because as important as those affairs of state may be, they are, for our rightblogger subjects, evanescent -- they will bark and howl over them for the length of their limited runs, then rush to gnash their fangs over something else. What really animates them is culture war -- and as we mentioned last week, in the Second Age of Obama culture is their big fixation: Finding a way to make America love them again (or rather their own objects of adoration, for America barely knows they exist).
So we take interest in their recent attention to flat-round-thing-vaguely-resembling-pizza-maker Papa John's, its CEO's plan to screw his own employees to spite Obama, and the humorous "Papa John's Appreciation Day" ginned up in reaction by the brethren.
Some of you may remember the last big rightblogger junk food skirmish -- "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day," during which rightbloggers bade patriots stuff their maws with crap chicken made by an anti-gay chain in defense of heterosexuality or free speech or something. Chick-fil-A enjoyed a brief sales boost, and rightbloggers enjoyed the feeling that Americans who ate fast food must also share their negative feelings about homosexuals and the Main Stream Media.
The memory is still powerful for Mary Durbin of American Thinker, who in a stirring essay wrote that on Election Night "I cried for my country, I cried for my faith, and I cried for the loss of what I imagined would be a life free from constant worry over what the government was going to do next to reduce liberty and freedom."
But Durbin's heart was warmed by a visit to a Florida mall, where "the Christmas decorations were already up. I am one of those people who find Christmas decorations in early November an abomination and disrespectful to the next holiday in line, Thanksgiving...but this time, I found it comforting to see Santa Claus (the real one -- not the government-issued one) sitting in his overstuffed chair... to paraphrase Dr. Seuss and the Grinch, the election didn't stop Christmas from coming. It's coming."
Rounding out her epiphany: "I went to the food court and saw a long line at Chick-fil-A. I joined it. As usual, I received great service. The young man waiting on me was from the demographic that has been so constantly scrutinized of late. I said to myself, 'Please, please don't grow up to be a Democrat.'" So there's still hope, and as long as it remains, "despite everything, we Americans are a strong people, and we will find ways to get on with our lives."
As if in answer to Durbin's prayer, a couple of other fast food chain owners declared their opposition to the Obama Administration after the election, most spectacularly Papa John's boss John Schnatter, who said he'd probably cut employees' hours because the Kenyan Pretender was making him give them health insurance. Schnatter had previously announced his intention to raise his pizza-like-product's price by about 14 cents if Obama were to be reelected, so as to cover his alleged extra expenses under the Affordable Care Act (though Forbes found Schnatter's estimated Obamacare tab much exaggerated).
People decided to boycott Papa John's over this -- some, the staff at Michelle Malkin's alternate Twitter universe Twitchy complained, in less than civil language. In response, rightbloggers hailed Schnatter a hero, and saddled up once again to show their contempt for the newly-reelected President by supersizing their usual fast food orders.
The resulting "Papa John's Appreciation Day" was allegedly conceived by an organization new to us called Rebooting America, aka Resistance 44, headed by one Justen Charters, described at LinkedIn as "CEO at Dear Citizen LLC, Political Researcher, Social Media Specialist And Event Planner." Another online CV tells us Charters also worked to "grow Christine O Donnell's twitter, facebook and youtube following."
When your grandchildren ask you how conservatives died off, show them this picture
Resistance 44 was touted earlier this year by Matt Vespa of ImpeachObamaCampaign.com as part of a new movement to "make conservatism look cool" by "taking over social media including YouTube, FaceBook, Twitter & Vimeo, debunking all stereotypes that young liberals put on conservatives," etc., thereby "creating the largest voter turnout in U.S. History in the 18-40 demographic."
As we saw on November 6, things didn't turn out quite the way Charters seemed to expect. But the struggle continues: Young people love pizza, right? Wouldn't it naturally follow that they'd love a rightwing pizza chain magnate who wanted to stiff his workers and charge customers extra to show his contempt for a newly-reelected President?
The face of resistance was made younger still in a story by George Rasley of Richard Viguerie's Conservative HQ (boy, that sounds like a fun clubhouse, huh?). Rasley told us that "16-year old Daniel Wetter" had actually "put together a cell of online conservative revolutionaries called 'Rebooting America' that has organized Friday, November 16 as a national day of appreciation for the Papa John's pizza chain."
Later Fox News clarified that Wetter was just "part of an upstart group called Rebooting America," and he "credits fellow conservative activist Justen Charters with coming up with the idea." Don't worry, comrades -- comes Der Tag there'll be credit enough to go around.
Rightbloggers went all in for the big win.
"Only the left would react to a business going under by boycotting it," said Ben Shapiro of Breitbart.com. Papa John's is actually doing great -- its stock price has tripled since the Kenyan Pretender took office -- but forget it, he's rolling: "The left's hatred for business couldn't be any clearer than in this case," Shapiro asserted, then added, "their hatred for reality is even greater than that," though he declined to similarly rank the left's hatred of Jesus, God, and Santa Claus. "Papa John's Appreciation Day is truly appreciation for capitalism itself," climaxed Shapiro, "and for the burdens government and the left place on the folks who do all the hiring in America."
"It's very obvious," said Randy Hall of NewsBusters, "that none of the liberals criticizing Schnatter, who founded and oversees the third-largest take-out and delivery pizza restaurant chain in the United States (behind Pizza Hut and Domino's Pizza), have anything anywhere near comparable business experience." So who are they to criticize some rich business guy who isn't a commie like Warren Buffet or Ted Turner?
"Call it putting your mouth where your money is," unappetizingly explained Jillian Kay Melchior of National Review, who added that Schnatter's hours-cutting showed "that the health law's new requirements hurt not only CEOs but also the low-income, hard-working people they employ," presumably in much the same way that the parent of a kidnapped child is responsible when she doesn't pay up fast enough and the kidnapper cuts off the kid's finger.
Using similar logic, Bryan Jacoutot at Legal Insurrection riddled-me-this, "The hallmark of any successful boycott is the limitation of revenue for the company you are targeting. So, if somehow this boycott were to be successful, the logical result would be that Papa John's would lose money forcing them to cut more jobs, and more hours... In achieving their goal, the boycotters will have achieved the exact opposite of their goal." Jacoutot then retucked his shirt and got back to work on his 60,000 word critique of Attack of the Clones.