Rightbloggers' Solution to Obama's Reelection: Bring Back Culture War and White People!

They certainly saw that the American culture with which they were forced to engage wasn't going their way -- "American culture war has been markedly intensified," diagnosed George Weigel at National Review, "as those who booed God, celebrated an unfettered abortion license, canonized Sandra Fluke, and sacramentalized sodomy at the Democratic National Convention will have been emboldened to advance the cause of lifestyle libertinism through coercive state power, thus deepening the danger of what a noted Bavarian theologian calls the 'dictatorship of relativism.'" But to the extent that they had ideas about how to turn the tide, they were confused.

"Elections are won and lost in the politics of the moment, but it's the culture that makes the nation," said Andrew Klavan at City Journal. "How can we reach out to struggling workers without sacrificing our commitment to free enterprise and individual liberty? How can we speak to single women without losing voters committed to family values and the lives of the unborn?"

How indeed? Klavan had three ideas: First, you need an alternative to the Lame Stream Media. No, another alternative: "How is it possible," he asked, "that the mind-boggling success of Fox News has failed to spawn half a dozen imitators at least -- especially venues for the libertarian young with their antic sense of political incorrectness?... It's time for others to step up." His suggested next wave of future Foxies: "Breitbart disciples like John Nolte, Ben Shapiro, and Joel Pollak." [blink]

Klavan also wanted conservatives to move big into "the entertainment industry," but not by actually creating art that normal people want to see: "We don't need more conservative artists," he insisted. "We need an infrastructure to support them: more funding, more distribution, sympathetic review venues, grants and awards for arts that speak the truth out loud." Maybe the same people paying for Fox II can step up. Also, said Klavan, "the triumph of science, the comfort of Western life, and a sophisticated elite virulently hostile to religion have all contributed to an intellectual atmosphere of unbelief," and this must be reversed by "sound argument made publicly, unabashedly, and without fear." We're not sure, but we think he means street-corner preachers. Conservatives, pitch in your spare soapboxes!

Sonny Bunch A commenter at Sonny Bunch's site compared America to wartime Iraq, where "it took a critical mass of verifiable observations, insurgent excesses, and the develop of credible relationships with key communicators in the real power structures to actually change perceptions in parts of the country... For the GOP, we can't continue to allow every institution (with the exception of the sub-G.O. level armed forces) to be controlled by the left." The solution is clear: Carpet-bomb Hollywood!

Yeah, for some reason this is our very favorite, honkies.
At the Washington Free Beacon, Matthew Continetti advised conservatives "find appealing and attractive spokesmen and women for a conservative economic message that champions the working and middle class" -- we understand Lindsay Lohan is available -- "a cultural message that speaks to the anxieties of the white working class" -- see the Confederates, above -- "and a rhetoric that avoids fodder for the comedy 'news' shows and blogs that shape the mindset of young people..." OK, now he's just fucking with us.

"For too long we have ceded Pop Culture to Liberalism," groused The Last Tradition. "That has to change and the message of conservatism needs to permeate Pop Culture and make it a 'cool' thing again to be a conservative." How, though, to permeate pop when you alienate homosexuals and single women? "We must engage in Pop Culture: books, movies, TV show, social media and everything else," deadpanned TLT. "There needs to be a counter insurgency of ideas because every subject is political in one way or another. We have to tilt opinion in an engaging way that gets the results we want." All right, troops, engage! I mean: Be engaging! Soldier, I don't like your elevator pitch!

Some had tools to offer: Lee Stranahan, for example, had a newsletter. "Are you conservative, right of center or libertarian leaning?" he asked. "Are you an artist, writer, filmmaker, musician, blogger, podcaster, craftsperson or other creative type?... We'll give you the fuel, the resources and the know-how to keep up the fight for the values you believe in."

Others had schtick. "We all recoil at the phrase 'legitimate rape,'" said Sherif Girgis, referring to Todd Akin's career-ending gibberish at the New York Times. "[Akin] -- like Whoopi Goldberg, who notoriously wondered whether Roman Polanski's alleged sex with a 13-year-old girl he'd reportedly served alcohol was 'rape' or 'rape rape' -- was glib about distinctions in an area where glib distinctions have been used to shift blame (and shame) from predator to victim." Goldberg was running for the Senate, too, we guess, so zing! But seriously, folks, "what all pro-lifers seek," said Girgis ("a J.D. candidate at Yale Law School and a Ph.D. candidate in philosophy at Princeton"), "and what Akin's comments make harder to realize, is a world in which there is finally no zero-sum game between mothers' needs and those of their unborn children." Heads they live, tails you whores go to jail. Thanx and try the human veal!

In the end, it was clear what they meant by culture war: The same thing they've meant since the days of Pat Buchanan. At PJ Media, Ron Radosh told us that Oliver Stone was turning our children into communists, but fortunately he had a solution:

For your left-leaning friends and associates, I highly recommend a new e-book written by my friend, the eminent historian Martin J. Sklar. It is called Letters on Obama (from the Left):The Global Revolution and the Obama Counter-Revolution...

In Sklar's view, the Republican have advocated policies that are pro-growth, pro-democratic, and within the American tradition, while the policies of the Democrats have been regressive, reactionary, and, in Marxist terms, counter-revolutionary. I urge readers to purchase his book - which costs only $4.95 - and engage his argument...

Yeah, that oughta do it. So in general, here's how it will go: Rightbloggers will bitch about the culture, but because actually contributing to culture -- that is, devoting oneself to the arts or workaday journalism -- is both politcally unrewarding and really, really hard, they'll continue to just talk about how badly culture needs reforming (sometimes in $4.95 books) and in their off-hours stuff their hands in their pockets and wait for some neo-Murdoch to pay them to play anchorman.

And why shouldn't they? They've seen Democrats -- even two-term Democrats -- come and go, but the great gravy train that is modern conservatism never ends. At some point Obama will make some weak gesture toward taxing the rich or something, and they'll all rush the fence and bark like junkyard dogs. But as soon as the outrage has passed, they'll trot back to their bowls and chow down.

Or so the big-time bloggers will do. The rest do it without kibble. It's one of the things we find charming about them. Good job, fellas; now, on to the next catastrophe.

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