"Miss Hamster Gives an Injection": Highlights From Three Terrible, Terrible Kids Books

Categories: Studies in Crap
Animals at Work doesn't just posit a world where animals are full participants in our economic system. It also encourages kids to stop thinking that animals are defined by nonsense like those animals' actual traits. As a small-minded grownup, I would have guessed that the best animal to teach an aerobics class would be, say, a gazelle.

I would have been wrong.

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To make a buck, the animals of this coloring book aren't above selling each other:

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Good news, humans: The melting ice caps aren't our fault after all. It's hot-dog carts!

This next animal works at the rare restaurant where diners get to pick their waiters from a tank.

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One item I can guarantee was not on illustrator Vivien Botha's list of Animals at Work goals: Making kids feel better about visiting the dentist.

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If your children find that image frightening, just point out that it actually looks like a hoagie with teeth.

Animals are even taking the jobs once held by American teenagers.

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I take back what I said about this book not teaching kids anything. In that last image, they learned that lady gorillas have racks.

Maybe that would have cheered up Jimmy Olsen in this, the best-ever panel of any Superman comic book:

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There's a serious moral question begged by this most upsetting image from Animals at Work:

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How much must bull be paid to murder bull?

Finally, like Eight is Enough: Kite Fun, Animals at Work treats its readers to bears where they absolutely shouldn't be. For some reason, this one works at the airport.

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But wait! Look where the wheel is! It can't be safe standing so very close to a large moving vehicle! If only there were a book around that could teach kids the consequences!

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Thanks, Be Careful! In conclusion, animals have no thumbs and limited brain function, so the only job they are really qualified for is illustrating coloring books.

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