"Only in New York!" and Six Other New York Sayings That Are Completely False

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New Yorkers love talking about New York. And why not? Despite the innumerable songs, poems, novels, plays, and movies that have been written about the city, there just don't seem to be enough words to pin it down. Despite the limitless inspiration, the same tired old clichés about this town get tossed around like empty Greek coffee cups on a windy day. The worst part, though, is that these well-worn sayings aren't even true most of the time. Don't believe us? Let's investigate.

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"Only in New York!"

Rule of thumb: If you ever hear someone saying this, the thing they are referring to happens in any mid-to-large-sized metropolis every single day. A street performer strumming his guitar on the sidewalk? Only in New York! Two cabbies getting into an argument? Only in New York! A rude waiter? Only in New York!

We've done the science, and the one thing that could ever truly "only happen in New York" would be if a bodega cat pushed Alec Baldwin out of the way of a falling air conditioning unit while he was filming a Talk Stoop segment for Taxi TV.

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"If You Can Make it Here, You Can Make it Anywhere"

Achieving prosperity in New York is undoubtedly difficult. There are 8 million people who are all willing to work the same long hours as you and live in similarly tiny apartments for the opportunity to get ahead. But if you think that success in New York automatically translates into success anywhere else, you might need to get out of the five boroughs for a bit.

Here is a list of successful New Yorkers who, if they lived anywhere else, would not only be less successful, but would also be lucky to last five minutes before the locals tied them up, placed them in the basket of a trebuchet, and launched them into the neighboring forests:

  • Mike Francesa
  • Donald Trump
  • Wendy Williams
  • Anthony Weiner
  • Andrea Peyser
  • Whoever wrote the jingle for the Dial 6 commercial

Frank Sinatra was a great singer, but he made a lousy logistician. (And husband.)

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"Anything Can Happen in a New York Minute!"

Things that can't happen in a New York Minute:

  • The arrival of the G Train
  • Your super repairing the heating
  • Getting a cab out of JFK
  • Moving to the front of the line at Shake Shack
  • Time Warner answering your call
  • Time Warner fixing your cable box
  • Time Warner doing anything

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17 comments
somisslydia
somisslydia

amen! what a refreshing morning read in between people's armpits on the subway.

joanna.or.joey
joanna.or.joey

Just because NYC's crime rates are rising again, after dropping distractically, doesn't mean it's lost it's place as  a very safe large city. The fact that there are always people, lights, activity, often police presence makes it safer than smaller cities.

bbhNYC
bbhNYC

%s after that description of club hours, who's up for a trip to Berlin? %s

Khan_Sur_N
Khan_Sur_N

 "New York is the city they named twice as if I didn't fucking hear you the first time, you stuttering idiot."

Associating a stutterer with being an idiot in this day and age, really? That's like making fun of a person for being transgendered or having to wear prescription eyeglasses. Lots of intelligent and very average people have or had a stutter, it's not a sign of low IQ as calling them an "idiot" would imply.

exackerly
exackerly

Well... except every billionaire in China has a pied a terre in NY. Not true the other way round.

Corinne Mignon
Corinne Mignon

What are the crime stats of Los Angeles, Chicago and Houston? Unless you've actually proved they're lower, you haven't debunked anything.

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