The Invasion of the Sandy Babies: Superstorm Skyrockets Summer Birth Rate

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When we hear the word "Sandy," numerous images come to mind: downed subway lines for days/weeks/months; the Rockaways; that famous New Yorker cover photo of the city shrouded in darkness; the relief money struggles; and, of course, blackouts--if only to name a few. For most of those who weathered it, "aphrodisiac" is not synonymous with one of the worst storms New York City has ever seen. But apparently, that was the case for hundreds of couples across the five boroughs.

From pun-filled stories in the New York Post and the New York Times, we are presented with the sexual side of Superstorm Sandy: This summer, hospitals in the Big Apple will see an estimated 10 to 30 percent increase in births following the storm that hit seven months (and counting) ago. And, since parents have to ruin everything, this incoming batch will be referred to their entire lives as "Sandy babies."

"We started noticing a couple of weeks ago that we were getting really busy with phone calls and lab results and charts. We were like, what is going on here?" a nurse manager told the Post. "... I looked at between July 15 and Aug. 15, which is when those people would be due, and sure enough, we have about a third more people delivering during that period than we usually have."

And, looking back on it, that makes complete sense. Couples are stuck inside for at least two weeks, the lack of heat demands constant physical contact, and you can only complain about not having wifi so many times, right? Without Netflix, cellphones, or brunch, all you're left with is sex (and Monopoly).

In this sense, sex is a result of boredom and, nine months later, the baby is a result of that boredom. Call it fate, call it the circle of life, call it whatever. Hurricane Sandy made people horny--plain and simple.

Send your tips to jsurico@gmail.com. Follow his tweets here.

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3 comments
yogabbagabba69
yogabbagabba69

john, your writing makes me horny--plain and simple

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