Barack Psychs Out Rightbloggers with Syria Switcheroo; Michelle Makes Them Hold Their Water

tomt200.jpgLast week we reported that rightbloggers were enraged the tyrant Obama was contemplating war with Syria. This week we can report that rightbloggers are enraged that the pussy Obama is avoiding war with Syria.

But if you're tired of foreign affairs, don't worry, the brethren didn't ignore domestic policy: Many of them raised the alarm on Michelle Obama's evil plot to get Americans to drink more water.

The Administration's late flip from saber-rattling to a deal with Russia to remove Syria's chemical weapons seems to have caught rightbloggers off-guard. At least when they were pretending to be peaceniks, they could follow the familiar stylesheets of previous anti-war movements. (No blood for O!)

When the switch came, they could hardly tell readers that they'd actually wanted war all along. So they complained about the way Obama got out of war: By coddling Assad and, especially, by making Valdimir Putin look good.

Two weeks back, Ace of Spades gave us "14 Reasons to Not Bomb Syria" and decreed "we cannot go to war under this clownshow's disaster-movie leadership." Comes the Russian deal and -- record scratch! -- Ace of Spades sneered at "Obama, the president that people love because he makes such efforts to avoid being decisive," then became enraged at "the world's most awkward weakling, Bassar al-Assad, openly taunting the US," and then, get this, told us, "I actually would like, in my heart of hearts, to hit Bassar al-Assad (a longtime sponsor of terrorism, financier and logistics officer for Hezb'allah, and useful Iranian client/minion state)... I wish I could support this action. I can't." Spades said this was because he very recently came to believe that Al Qaeda is mixed up with the rebels, though readers not born yesterday may draw a different conclusion.

Spades also affected to believe that Time magazine put Putin on the cover of of its three international editions, but put college sports on the U.S. cover, because the media is trying to shield Obama from criticism ("Someone's a little protective, eh?"). We suppose the well-covered fact that Time's U.S. edition covers are often different from its foreign editions (our favorite: world gets "Travels through Islam," America gets "Chore Wars") may be among the many things Spades doesn't know.

putinobamatoon.jpg
Haw, cuz he's a sissy, see? Pink backpack. So Putin's President now, huh? Well, at least he's white.
Other rightbloggers followed suit. "What are You Trying to Say, TIME Magazine?" demanded Bryan Preston of PJ Media. National Review's Mark Steyn was less coy: "The palace guard in the America media are doing a straddle Pravda and Comical Ali never had to attempt," he claimed -- "telling the truth to the world while keeping their domestic readership in the dark."

Wow, the dying, discredited MSM is pretty powerful all of a sudden. Even the hated New York Times was treated seriously by the rightbloggers. When Putin, having done the Syria deal, published a cheeky op-ed in the Times, the brethren considered it proof that the Russian had one-upped Obama -- because really, it's not like an anti-American op-ed had ever appeared in the New York Times before.

"Having eaten Obama's lunch, Putin wanted to send a message to us in Obama's favorite newspaper," cheered Scott Johnson at Power Line. "...Putin has eaten Obama's lunch. Now he wants to rub it in... He's taking his shirt off and baring his chest in a manner that is calculated to make an impression outside Russia."

Johnson wasn't the only one fixated on Obama's lunch and Putin's naked chest. "Daddy Putin just spanked Obama," declared Curt at Flopping Aces. "This whole debacle has been embarrassment for America... Just embarrassing... And now what is Daddy Putin up to?... Obama, upstaged and outsmarted at every turn." What a daddy! On Fox, Ralph "Blood 'n' Guts" Peters purred, "I don't like Putin, but I respect that guy. He is tough. He delivers what he says he'll deliver... He presents himself as a real He-Man... Our president talks tough, but in the clinch he's gutless."

Putin "presumes to write op-eds in the New York Times, dictating the American president what he may or may not say in his speeches," claimed the Wall Street Journal's Bret Stephens. At FrontPageMag, Robert Spencer said Putin's Times op-ed was a "veiled threat" to Obama. The guy's a regular Daniel Ellsberg!

"The administration claims (preposterously, but no matter) that Obama has been working on this idea with Putin at previous meetings," sputtered Charles Krauthammmer at National Review. "Take at face value Obama's claim of authorship. Then why isn't he taking ownership? Why isn't he calling it the 'U.S. proposal' and defining it?" That large countries may obscure the details of their foreign policy initiatives, and arrange them so that everyone gets a piece of the credit, seems not to have occurred to Dr. Krauthammer, or else he hoped it had never occurred to his readers. In any case, Krauthammer let it be known he didn't like that "Obama gets to slink away from a Syrian debacle of his own making," and attributed this to "epic incompetence," which suggests that there may actually be a lot Krauthammer doesn't know.

RedState's Erick Erickson, who had earlier told the world that "we should be staying out of [Syria]," seemed outraged that Obama was staying out of Syria, or about something anyway: "Never has a President given a speech in which he wished to convince Americans to take an action he no longer is going to take," Erickson raved. "He has become to war what the Clapper is to turning on the lights. War is on and now war is off. But we will never call it war." Maybe Erickson is worried he'll be drafted. Also: "The President told Americans they need to do this for the children. It is ironic, considering he has, for a long time, been in favor of infanticide."

Ben Shapiro stopped running headlines like "WH HAS 'NO SMOKING GUN' LINKING ASSAD WITH CHEMICAL WEAPONS ATTACK" and started running headlines like "REPORT: ASSAD USES CHEMICAL WEAPONS IN DAMASCUS AGAIN."

In another post-deal story, Shapiro said the Syrian agreement was "purely absurd - the enforcement mechanism for the treaty means nothing, considering that Russia has a heavy hand in the monitoring and compliance process." Guess Obama should have bombed Syria back when Shapiro was telling us there no proof they'd done anything to get bombed for.

What of Yossef Bodansky, whose idea that the U.S. planted the chemical weapons on Syria so it could make war was disseminated by Rush Limbaugh and others? His latest headline: "Syrian Chemical Attack: More Evidence Only Leads to More Questions."

One of that bizarre story's disseminators, PJ Media's Preston, rushed to redeem himself with "Slapped Around By Putin, Humiliated Over Snowden, Obama Pivots Back to the Economy While He Escalates the War in Syria," and then, as it became clear that no such escalation was taking place, really hauled out the rhetorical big guns: "This administration just can't finish a day without taking a childish swipe at George W. Bush... They're brats. Our nation is being run by brats."

This seems to catch the brethren's general post-deal tone well, so we'll abandon the subject there and move to a more important topic: Do you know that Michelle Obama is trying to get young Americans to drink more water -- and what a threat that is to our nation's health?

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12 comments
merl.allen
merl.allen topcommenter

That bitch Nancy Reagan had a hell of  a lot of nerve when she told me to say no to drugs. 

alanhw
alanhw

I can't help but notice that while Michelle Obama wants people to drink more water if they feel like it, Erick Erickson wants to have every woman who terminates a pregnancy charged with murder and executed.  That's conservative!

alanhw
alanhw

"Just when you thought the Nanny State couldn't get anymore drunk with patronizing power over people.."

My God, they're making suggestions!  What next, dear Lord?  Friendly advice?  We might as well just all move to the gulag right now. 

mommadillo
mommadillo

 Americans drink about 44 gallons of soda a year

And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the poor bastard who has to drink an extra 43 1/2 gallons every year to make up for my slacking.  Your first week of dialysis is on me.

glennisw250
glennisw250 topcommenter

"a compulsion to tell other people how to live their lives..."

Funny, there's a whole host of conservative personalities (I'm looking at you, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum" who have created virtual cottage industries of telling other people how to live their lives.

glennisw250
glennisw250 topcommenter

Diplomacy, how does it work?

sigh
sigh

I cannot wait for Michelle Obama to kick off her "don't stick your tongue in a light socket" initiative.

regnumstygia
regnumstygia

American Conservatism. So inbred it always has another foot to shoot

Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard
Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard

@mommadillo <I>Your first week of dialysis is on me.</I>

Actually, many, many weeks of dialysis will be on you, and the other taxpayers.

StringOnAStick
StringOnAStick topcommenter

@mommadillo I wonder when the statistical powers that be will decide to add the annual Starbucks crackachino sugar fix total to the 44 gallons a year of soda, or does it all filter out the same as far as the dialysis center is concerned? 

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