Barack Psychs Out Rightbloggers with Syria Switcheroo; Michelle Makes Them Hold Their Water
You probably know that Mrs. Obama drives rightbloggers absolutely crazy. Why wouldn't she? She's black, female, and successful. So they've been after her since the 2008 campaign, when they peddled a non-existent "whitey" tape of her saying offensive things to sabotage her manicured image.
As First Lady, Obama has carefully chosen what would normally be non-controversial causes to support -- and rightbloggers have made them controversial. When she encouraged kids to eat more vegetables, they ran stories like "Michelle Obama's School Lunches Starve Kids." When she encouraged them to avoid obesity by exercising, they ran stories like "Schoolchildren attending Michelle Obama 'Let's Move' event forced to go almost ten hours without food."
Now Michelle Obama has this "Drink Up!" thing, telling people to "drink just one more glass of water a day and you can make a real difference for your health, your energy, and the way you feel."
Sounds like something your mother would tell you. Still, considering Americans drink about 44 gallons of soda a year and diabetes is rampant, any encouragement to drink more water seems like a good idea. The First Lady's campaign doesn't mention drinking water instead of soda, probably to keep from pissing off the nuts who think Big Gummint is trying to take away their Big Gulps, but a normal person would probably get the idea.
Rightbloggers are not normal people.
At National Review, Patrick Brennan told us that "there isn't good scientific evidence that people should drink more water. The first lady's claim that one more glass of water per day will 'make a real difference' for 'your energy' and 'how you feel' is homeopathy, not public health. (Who's the party of science, again?)" Brennan cited Dr. Stanley Goldfarb of the University of Pennsylvania, a reliable quote supplier to conservative magazines, whose anti-extra-water message ("unfortunately, frankly, they're not basing this on really hard science") was replicated in Politico and elsewhere.
Haw! See, Moochelle's a hypocrite. I ain't gonna eat no lettuce, I'ma eat me a big ol' pile of burgers too.
This is rather like saying that there's no scientific evidence that laughter is the best medicine, so any attempt to make people feel better by telling them jokes is an affront to science.
But wait, there's more: The corporate sponsors for "Drink Up!" include water bottlers, said Brennan, so "any concerted effort to get people to drink more water will be a remarkably profitable campaign for bottled-water companies..." In many homes, Brennan failed to note, there are metal tubes affixed to the walls called "taps" which also supply water without enriching Deer Park et alia. But wait -- people pay water taxes for that -- and they go to Big Gummint! The conspiracy goes deeper than Brennan even knew!
Also, said Brennan, "people drinking more bottled water is obviously likely to create a great deal of waste and litter... littered water bottles in the U.S. today actually might present more of a problem than everyday dehydration."
Instead of staring at this and blinking, other rightbloggers carried this message to their readers.
"Just when you thought the Nanny State couldn't get anymore drunk with patronizing power over people..." wrote Carol Brown in "Michelle Obama's water torture" at American Thinker. In the "Drink Up" kick-off tour, Brown reported, "actress Eva Longoria will be accompanying her. Nothing like traveling with A-list celebs to help spread the Gospel of Government." ("Mrs. Obama is exhibiting a kind of neurosis that seems to be at the heart of contemporary progressive politics: a compulsion to tell other people how to live their lives," added Brown's guest commentator Thomas Lifson.)
"With her husband stymied on the world stage and pivoting (yet again) to the economy, the first lady is once again passionately concerned with what you eat and drink," snarled Sarah Hoyt at PJ Media. "Mooch's Water Pitch Falls Flat," chuckled Charlie Sykes at WTMJ. "Michelle Obama's Drink More Water Campaign Based on Faulty Science," cried the Washington Free Beacon. "Doctor on Michelle Obama's 'drink water' campaign: An urban myth that's been 'debunked over the years,'" wrote The Right Scoop. "Michelle Obama and The Crony Bottled Water Industry," wrote Economic Policy Journal. "Everything is becoming a government rigged game."
The Daily Caller ran a funny photo caption contest with Longoria and Mrs. Obama. Sample entry: "'Why is the photo so soft focus?' 'You wouldn't want to see what these two old ladies look like in the harsh light of day.'"
Liberty Unyielding's Howard Portnoy took the opportunity to remind us of those other anti-science, commie nutritional campaigns, like one encouraging Americans to eat more fruit: "Overdoing it with fruit also can lead to dental decay, osteoporosis, wasting of muscle tissue, inability to maintain a healthy weight, chronic fatigue," etc., he said. Portnoy, too, had scientific proof, and a doctor's endorsement. Perhaps this will not only keep true patriots from drinking more water, but also keep them from eating more fruit, as well as more of Mooch's so-called "healthy" vegetables...
You know what? Maybe it's not really about Michelle Obama hatred. Maybe it's actually a long-term campaign to create enough sick Americans to wreck Obamacare.