Rightbloggers' Shutdown Post-Mortem: Hope, Despair, Conspiracy Theories

tomt200.jpgLast week in D.C. the shutdown got shutdown, which as our previous columns show was not the result rightbloggers had been banking on. Indeed, in the final days of der Untergang, many of them were already spinning furiously, like Rich Lowry, whose broadcast from the National Review bunker was headlined "If GOP Can Save the Sequester, Fights Will Not Have Been 'Complete Debacle.'"

As they stumbled from the wreckage, some of the brethren were crestfallen; some saw the ruins as an excellent foundation for future victories; and some retreated into madness.

Many rightbloggers took comfort from the continuing clusterfuck that was federal website access to the exchanges; this, they told the world, meant Obamacare would never work, and was in fact already, as Kyle Becker put it, an "epic disaster... train wreck... fire tornado" etc., over which "most of the country was doing a collective facedesk."

Surely, they reasoned, the enormous good will Republicans had built up with the government shutdown now left them perfectly positioned to offer Americans a true free-market alternative. Some of the details of such a plan were laid out by Rick Moran of PJ Media: For example, "most Republicans would have no problem expanding the health care savings accounts," Moran explained; also, "there may be some Republicans willing to support an expansion of Medicaid to cover the truly poor -- not those making a whopping 133% above the poverty line." Those 133-percenters can just sell their jewelry if they want an operation.

"It's not too late to sink Obamacare," plaintively headlined Jennifer Rubin at the Washington Post. To do so, Republicans should "shine the spotlight on Obamacare, convince the public that this is an irreversible mess and compel its delay and even reworking," she said. What a refreshingly new idea -- as was her proposal for a "nonstop campaign against Obamacare with an eye toward 2014."

Rubin also suggested the GOP offer "a proposal to help those for whom Obamacare is unaffordable... a proposal to allow individuals to escape the insurance that they're being told they must have and is more expensive than their existing insurance." (This assumes that there will be a lot of these people, and not just the fakes on Hannity.) If that happens, she said, Republicans will become "the heroes of the lower- and middle-class Americans who are being punished by a horribly designed program." Republicans offering low-cost insurance! Maybe she should ask former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney how this might be accomplished.

Tyler Cowen of Marginal Revolution, from the libertarian branch of conservatism, even suggested that the shutdown failure was brilliant for the Republicans, as it would inevitably be followed by Obamacare disaster, which would redound to the GOP's benefit: "If Obamacare is really going to do poorly, it is better if we build up high or least modest expectations for it... That's what will get further traction for the Tea Party on Obamacare..." We should note Cowen did this in the voice of "Tyrone, my evil twin brother," a risk-aversion strategy all rightbloggers would do well to emulate -- all of the time, if possible.

Speaking of which, a prime candidate for this approach, Megan McArdle, told her readers the website problem was so bad that if it were not fixed in a couple of weeks, "then the administration should ask for a one-year delay of Obamacare's various regulations, including the individual mandate," something she suggested the Administration had only fought so hard to avoid when the Shutdowners demanded it because of Obama's "desire to avoid a giant political embarrassment." McArdle did add, "I'm aware that since I opposed the law in the first place, people will take my suggestion with a huge grain of salt," so maybe she will have sense enough to consider creating a mean sister named Ardle McMegan on whom to blame her columns as appropriate.

Some of the brethren were too saddened by the shutdown's failure to even rejoice at the failure of their fellow citizens to obtain health insurance.

obamawillkillyou.jpg
He's gonna kill you with health care! You'll spend your last moments under starchy hospital sheets!
At PJ Media, for example, Michael Walsh compared the American People to McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, lobotomized by Nurse Ratched, played in Walsh's dream production by "Big Nurse himself, Chuck Schumer." We suspect Walsh sees himself as Chief Bromden, reimagined as a white man for conservative audiences.

Others just muttered complaints like disappointed schoolboys (e.g., Weasel Zippers, "time for the inevitable cave in"; Instapundit, "Boehner has never struck me as especially sharp"; Stephen Green, PJ Media, "There was never a risk of actual default... by raising the specter of default, Boehner legitimized false Democrat warnings," etc).

Some felt betrayed by the RINOs in whom they -- well, they never actually did put their faith in them, but Lord did they sound betrayed nonetheless. "All the evidence points to the inevitable conclusion that the GOP establishment has little or no interest in furthering conservative goals, either fiscally or socially," bawled Some Guy at Red State. "They think we are rubes who can be fooled by waving meaningless votes in our faces and saying 'I tried'... Our first challenge is uniting our own house and there is no way that unity happens absent a wholesale purge of the GOP." So, either glorious revolution or a few days in time-out for Some Guy before he goes back to the Sign-Painting sector of the nearest Republican campaign. Which do you think?

Vanitas! cried rightwing egghead Roger Kimball, who claimed to have had "a convivial lunch, but with a certain melancholy creep around the edges" with "a politically mature Democrat, one of those 'Scoop Jackson' fellows you read about in books but -- unless you are older than I am -- have probably never met outside a book's pages." So what did Kimball and Joe Lieberman talk about? They "contemplated the action of ordinary citizens -- those vets who disassembled the 'Barrycades' erected in front of national monuments by a punitive Obama administration," and were left "wondering whether the country was teetering towards a pre-revolutionary state."

Considering, as the polls showed, the lumpen had not flocked to the House Republicans' siege of Obamacare, how might Kimball's revolution be affected? He cited a column by his fellow traveler, the billionaire columnist Conrad Black, who had "conjured the specter of Cromwell storming Parliament and thundering out its dissolution ('in the name of God go!'). Perhaps it will come to something like that." Ah, a takeover by the New Roundheads! That's been their dream for years; sadly for them, heads aren't getting any rounder.

Inevitably, as it often does in primitive cultures, tall tales emerged among the rightbloggers to explain their defeat.

The story for some became that Obama had engineered the whole shutdown himself, using the naive, innocent Republicans as patsies. Toward this he was pushed by his own Lady Macbeth, the equally black Valerie Jarrett, book-writer Ed Klein (The Amateur) told the New York Post: "It was Jarrett who advised Obama that voters would mostly blame Republicans if the federal government ground to a halt, providing a golden opportunity to swing back control of the House to Democrats in the 2014 mid-term elections..." (At least the Post reporter had the wit to close his item, "The White House had no immediate comment.")

"BOMBSHELL: WHITE HOUSE PLANNED SHUTDOWN," reacted WorldNetDaily. "Valerie Jarrett Behind Spite House Strategy To Shut Down Government," echoed The Last Refuge.

"Whether or not Jarrett really came up with this as a plan," wrote Daniel Greenfield at FrontPageMag, "there's little doubt that Obama's 'Never Negotiate' strategy that he has deployed throughout his disastrous period of national misrule comes from her." Greenfield didn't explain why it was so little doubt of this, but did add, "So Valerie Jarrett is the real terrorist. And with an Iranian background, she certainly would know all about hostage taking," which will do well enough for some.

"And let's all remember this very clearly," annotated The New Media Journal. "Ms. Jarrett, born in Shiraz, Iran, is a devoted Alinskyite who father-in-law, Vernon Jarrett, an admitted, card-carrying Communist. This is the person most trusted by President Obama!!"

Puma By Design knew it was an Obama plot all along -- because Obama's "army of green shirts" had not been surprised by the shutdown, but in fact had "barrycades" and "paper signs" ready "all at the same moment that government websites went offline." Obama must have been tipped off that the shutdown was coming -- possibly by the local news! Damned liberal media!

Puma By Design offered as evidence a report by an anonymous government employee, perhaps Guy Incognito, who said that "in less than 8 hours of the shutdown, 'miraculously', professionally printed 3X4 foot signs appeared all over the country in the tens of thousands saying- 'this (park, facility, etc. with custom logos) closed due to government shutdown.'"

Makes sense! You've seen the meticulous handiwork that went into those signs -- there was no way the feds could have printed them so quickly, unless there was a Staples open nearby.

"It takes planning to purchase a large volume of anything in a large bureaucracy," said Rowan Besthe at Patriot Update, yet "the government shutdown signs were on hand and appeared the very first day at the WWII Memorial... Yes, [the Republicans] used a political negotiating tool, but it was President Obama and his Administration that preplanned the consequences." Preplanning consequences! That's a high crime or misdemeanor, isn't it?

Dr. Sharon Schuetz of Lady Patriots told readers, "I got a message the other day that started me wondering about it," which began thus: "Did anyone besides me wonder how they got all those signs printed and distributed far and wide, including to all the national parks and cemeteries overseas only eight to ten hours after the government shut down?" It's not surprising she received this message, because the same text has appeared on hundreds of other sites.

Another rightblogger tall tale had to do with the suspension of the EBT (food stamp) systems in 17 states for a few days during the shutdown. AP and others reported this was the fault of the Xerox Corporation, the private vendor that handles those systems; the company said it suffered a computer glitch. Guess what some of these folks thought it was?

"PANIC: Obama Shuts Down EBT Food Stamp Cards Natiowide," cried Investment Watch.

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45 comments
merl.allen
merl.allen topcommenter

Did Valerie's father fight for Castro like Cruz's father? Maybe Cruz Sr didn't carry a card or something.

merl.allen
merl.allen topcommenter

Jennifer Rubin seems to be saying that they need better liars.

groundzero7
groundzero7

I would encourage all Americans to stay away from this Obamacare socialist program. Don't even go to the website. When you do they can start tracking. I fully believe that's what this is all about. It has very little to do with healthcare. It's about knowing everything about you and using it to control you. Eventually the government will know how many times you use the bathroom everyday and what you dream about at night. Have you asked yourself why Obama and the congress and their henchmen are exempt? If we swallow this the next step will be requiring you to have a tracking chip inserted under your skin. Think it can't happen?Just watch. Next year,deadbeats like McConnell,Reid,Franken,Graham and Boehner are up for re-election. We have to pray that the good people of Kentucky,Nevada,South Carolina,Minnesota and Ohio will show these clowns the door and elect men and women with courage who will get the impeachment ball rolling.

grumpy3
grumpy3

Hmm;   Paper signs are one thing, but when was the last time you saw a Staples with a a dozen truckloads of plywood in stock?  Or a Staples with a in store shop capable of sawing 4' X 8' sheets of the stuff to specified sizes, then painting and lettering it?  The larger outdoor signs were not paper or cardboard,

I once sold the Federal Government a $200.00 door, the paperwork took two weeks.  A simple house load of windows for a rehab on a military base required a 30 page purchase order, per window...  It took eight hours to wade through the legalize and specifications on the purchase orders..  

mommadillo
mommadillo

"get his welfare army rioting to force his ascension to Absolute Ruler..."

This one always cracks me up.  Like it's really that easy to riot your way to Absolute Ruler status.  And if it were, Republicans would have done it long ago.

hellslittlestangel
hellslittlestangel

I look forward to the purges. I'll bet right-whingers really know how to put on a show trial.

SusanofTexas
SusanofTexas

"...maybe she will have sense enough to consider creating a mean sister named Ardle McMegan on whom to blame her columns as appropriate."

That would come in handy as she is now saying that Obamacare will destroy private health insurance.

McArdle: "If the exchanges don’t get fixed soon, they could destroy Obamacare -- and possibly, the rest of the private insurance market."

And then...the world!

rdmcis
rdmcis

@groundzero7 They don't want to insert that tracking chip under your skin; they want to insert it in your ass. Why do you think they want to know how many times you go to the bathroom during the day?

You can defeat 'em though. Next time you go, shove a rubber bung up there (a kosher dill will do in a pinch). Learn to defend yourself!

glennisw250
glennisw250 topcommenter

@groundzero7 I think you should just stay under the bed and not come out, it's safer for you there.

roy84
roy84 topcommenter

@grumpy3 When can you get Louie Gohmert to start up an investigation of SignsWereReadyGate? The citizens will be grateful, I promise you! 

Al_Swearengen
Al_Swearengen

@grumpy3 It's a stupid conspiracy theory for stupid people.

No one gives a shit about signs, we're more worried about Republicans descent into wanna-be totalitarians.  The real issue is that one chamber of one branch tried to use the threat of economic violence to force the majority to do its bidding.

pheinricher
pheinricher

@mommadillo Say, like in Florida in the fall of 2000, when Republican staffers flew in and rioted to stop the recount?

SusanofTexas
SusanofTexas

@hellslittlestangel I look forward to five minutes after the purge, when they learn their new leaders are just like their old leaders--in it for the grift.

grumpy3
grumpy3

@SusanofTexas  Nah, but President Barrycades gonna look awful foolish, and Ted Cruz is gonna look awful smart if Obama decides he needs an extension to implement Obamacare, 

Even MSNBC is starting to question his judgement

groundzero7
groundzero7

@rdmcis 

I realize you're an expert at having things shoved up your ass . You mean you actually shove dill pickles up your ass?  I've heard of perverts but you really  are a freak. Go back  in your room with your 8X10 glossy of Barney Frank and play with your pickle.

groundzero7
groundzero7

@spnbs @groundzero7 

I am for real spnbs.And I may be a 72-year-old disabled veteran but I'm willing to fight for my country yet again, against our domestic enemies this time. Our wise forefathers saw this day coming and gave us the 2nd amendment.The amendment that Obama and the socialist liberals want to do away with. (A good example of an ignorant lemming is this glenispenis person who also repied to my comment). We can't continue like this. There has to be a stopping point where the clown who would be king is deposed and deported back to Indonesia.

grumpy3
grumpy3

@roy84 I think it's more likely Obama will have to explain why, with his laser focus on jobs, the contract to build Glitchy was given to a Canadian Company that had been fired by Canadain Government for non performance--

And the crash of the Obamacare phone system today might require some explaining as well-


grumpy3
grumpy3

@Al_Swearengen Do you mean like Democrats having a great time with Illegal aliens on the National Mall while it was shut down to American Veterans, who happen to be US Citizens

sinistersam123
sinistersam123

@Al_Swearengen The totalitarians are Progressives.  The threat is real but don't tell it to propagandists or the useful idiots inebriated on Commie kool-aid.


Does it occur to anyone that a government that can't seem to do jack right successfully pulled off the shutdown of a nation, etc. in record time.  That is no accident. The Progressive establishment is manipulating us all and while we're fighting over it, they're shredding our liberties and spying on us.

SusanofTexas
SusanofTexas

@grumpy3 @SusanofTexas Does grumpy-wumpums have a rumbly in his tumbly?

Rafael Cruz couldn't look smart if he dressed up in a commencement gown, pinned a diploma to chest, and held a lightbulb over his head, now that he's attempted to blackmail his betters in his own party.

"President Barrycades" will be raking in millions while you are staring at your Social Security check in shock, wondering why your party's 50 years of tearing down the safety net means you no longer have a safety net.

rdmcis
rdmcis

@groundzero7 @rdmcis  

Hey, I'm on your side comrade! I've been onto this butt-chip conspiracy since day one. Just ask my therapist.

Solidarity, bro!

GeoX
GeoX topcommenter

@groundzero7 Seriously, "glenpenis?"  You may or may not be in your seventies, but you have the mind of a not particularly bright twelve-year-old.

groundzero7
groundzero7

glenpenis

You're the one who's sad. And too ignorant to know it. You're kind don't hold up long. It's a fact. A sad fact. "Please take care of me Mr. Obama". If you're a male (I can't say "man") your future is not bright. Best if you stay in your parents basement. Sad.

GeoX
GeoX topcommenter

@groundzero7 @spnbs It's cool how people like you are so keen on debunking the ol' "with age comes wisdom" stereotype.  Really.

roy84
roy84 topcommenter

@grumpy3 Let's have those hearings, too. No one expects the House to do anything but conduct hearings anymore anyway. You can go to Washington and tell C-Span all about the "Canadian Kickback"!

sharculese
sharculese

@grumpy3 @Al_Swearengen Both the immigration reform rally that had been planned and duly permitted for weeks and Sarah Palin's impromptu tantrum on the Mall were allowed to happen, so I'm really not exactly sure what it is you're whining about here.

grumpy3
grumpy3

@Al_Swearengen Kinda figured the sites you read would have missed pet and snuggle an illeagal day, but USA Today, not exactly a conservative site covered it..   Veterans also recall how Obama shut down the Vietnam Memorial Wall to the Veterans and of on Memorial day 2012..  What would expect form a guy who studied under draft dodgers and bomb throwing terrorists..

Al_Swearengen
Al_Swearengen

@grumpy3 @Al_Swearengen Oh, I missed the "Democrat Pet-and-Snuggle an Illegal Immigrant on the Mall Day".  Sorry, busy here in reality.

And frankly, vets need to be exposed to the havoc wreaked by the nihilistic rightwing freaks that too many of them inflict upon the rest of us.

MrWonderful
MrWonderful

@sinistersam123 @Al_Swearengen No, it doesn't occur to anyone.  At least, not to anyone with a functioning brain.  Anyone who thinks there is a "Progressive establishment" in America today has other shredded things to worry about besides his or her "liberties."

Al_Swearengen
Al_Swearengen

@sinistersam123 @Al_Swearengen I can only go off what I just saw, which is one chamber of one branch tried to assert dominance of the entire gov't.  That's reality, unlike your "Progressives are the totalitarians yargle-bargle. (With no fucking evidence, of course.)

And no one give two shits about your monumentally stupid sign conspiracy.

grumpy3
grumpy3

@SusanofTexas @grumpy3 @annabelle Please tell me how the government is going to redeem the 5T in bonds being held by Social Security, Rail Railroad Retirement, Federal Pension and the other trust funds.  The Chinese are already seeing advantages to cutting out credit limit, they want the Yaun to replace the dollar as the world reserve currency

merl.allen
merl.allen topcommenter

@SusanofTexas @annabelle @grumpy3  The best part of it is, when they talk about cutting taxes, they sure as hell don't mean those two yahoos taxes. They mean Mitt Romney's and Paris Hilton's.

grumpy3
grumpy3

@SusanofTexas @annabelle @grumpy3 I know that at least one of the Bloggers Village Voice targeted in this article is black, that's why I'm here, I'm tired of liberals assuming black conservaives are an easy target..

As for Social Security SusanofTexas- That's very dangerous territory for either party, it and the trust funds make up the biggest single portion of the National Debt, roughly 4 times what we owe China.. 

Both parties abused the funds, and the government has no way to repay what they borrowed.. The bonds the lockbox holds are non negotiable - worthless for all intents and purposes...

No political party is oing to risk the fallout that would come if they screw with Social Security and Americans demand to know the truth



SusanofTexas
SusanofTexas

@annabelle @SusanofTexas @grumpy3 

Have you actually checked how much you would pay, or did your leaders tell you that and you just believed them? Again.

SusanofTexas
SusanofTexas

@annabelle @SusanofTexas @grumpy3 

Somebody told you all liberals are rich and you believed them, didn't you? They said that so you would not notice that your leaders were taking your money and giving you nothing in return.

I need Social Security and you and your party want to take it away from me. You probably think it's going broke, don't you? Your leaders told you it was because they wanted to take it and keep it for themselves. You will let them because you are too busy yelling at liberals to notice their hands are in your wallet. You are doing exactly what your leaders want you to do.

And why did you elect these leaders? Because they told you they would cut taxes and you are greedy. They told you they would restore a White America and you have a heart full of fear, envy and hatred.

Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto Me.

grumpy3
grumpy3

@SusanofTexas @grumpy3 The websites down at least until Wednesday - most experts are saying it needs to be trashed completely- that would be at least a year..  The phone system didn't last 5 minutes after he finished making his speech..

 At least ten people have gotten Obamacare cancellations from their insurance companies for every single person the president claims managed to set up a website login.. he won't say how many bought anything

 Just got word from another doctor, this one in Colorado, that she's going to pack it in rather than work under Obamacare.. been hearing that a lot 

Consumer reports says don't even think about buying Obamacare yet, but what do they know



annabelle
annabelle

@SusanofTexas @grumpy3 You are so right that you don't realize how wrong you are!! President Obama will be raking in millions while each of us pay the governmnet $1500 dollars a month for the bronze plan, with a deductible of $11, 700 a year. I guess that doesn't bother you, since you are probably one of the rich people who already have enough money and not one of those who unlike what he promised, won't be able to keep their insurance, like the thousands out there who have lost theirs. 

I am sure that he will be raking in millions while we are driven back to relying on our neighbors and friends for help because no matter how much insurance we have, who can afford to go because of such high deductibles, but he will have his and make millions going around the lord and spreading the garbage that he is the best thing since white bread. Oh, yeah, now we are going to be segregated in the Dr.s offices because of our color. What an alternate reality this has become.  Who cares who is on the right side, it doesn't matter, any of us who don't have money are going to suffer, while the fools that got us here profit hand over fist.

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