Here are Ten Terrifying New York Housing Stories to Mess Up Your Day

Image via The Worst Room
There are so many ways housing in New York can go wrong: a Craigslist scam, a crazed roommate, a radiator that screams like a jet engine without heating the apartment, or, best case scenario, just an enormous rat king that takes up residence beneath the stove. But no matter how bad you think you've got it, this Reddit thread of terrible apartment stories has something worse. There are wolf spiders and screaming junkies and cockroaches. Thousands and thousands of cockroaches.

There are dozens of stories on the thread so far, many of them involving vermin, poop, and various kinds of roommate mental instability. Here's a sampling. Let's start with the ones that are funny in an awful way and descend downwards, ending with the the stories that make us retch with despair and our souls long to leave our bodies. Gird yourselves:

(All reactions courtesy of Reaction Gifs and Giphy)

- See also: NYC's Ten Worst Tenants

10. Odd couple:

I had a roommate that was a hippie. She didn't shave, use deodorant, work out, etc. Her parents dumped $500 into her bank account weekly. She never did laundry. Dishes (including mine that she and the other suitemates would use) would end up growing ecosystems when left in the sink for weeks. I had to wash my dishes in the shower and kept them in my room to avoid sharing. She would have weekly movie viewing parties on weekdays like Tuesday and Wednesday in the living room with far more people than should fit in that room until 2 AM when I was trying to study or sleep. Pubes consistently everywhere in the bathroom. (Mine were a different color so that eliminated that problem.) She took fiber supplements and took the most massive shits that left shit rings in the toilet after she flushed. (Earning her the nickname "Queen of Saturn" from me and my boyfriend.) The final straw was when she left a used tampon behind the toilet. Still don't understand how you miss throwing it out/dropping it into the toilet.

Appropriate reaction:

Terminator smiling

9. Kool-Aid Man sounds like a real dick:

A guy I used to be friends with lived in Queens and his neighbor was FUCKING crazy. One day while he was at work, his neighbor busted through his wall like Kool-Aid man, leaving a man sized hole in the wall. His neighbor thought my friend was fucking his wife and wanted to kill him.

Appropriate reaction:

8. Ordinary Williamsburg Apartment:

While looking for a place I went to look at a place in East Williamsburg kinda near the Morgan L. It was a loft with about seven ramshackle bedrooms with eight roommates already, some stacked on top of each other, most of them closed off with cloth instead of doors, the whole place was probably about a 750sq ft. The shower didn't work and was made from a plastic water tank and some tubing and was located in a closet along with two cats' litter boxes.

The table in the main room was covered end to end with empties and then there were stacks of empties near the windows and alongside the walls. When I asked the roommates what they did for fun "We drink a lot." The "room" was a 5 foot high cubby box up a step ladder with no door.

They wanted 800 dollars a month for it.

Appropriate Reaction:

Sponsor Content

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault