Here are Ten Terrifying New York Housing Stories to Mess Up Your Day

7. Love story, with weed:

I was a subletting from this young couple in Queens. Everything was going decently well other than over hearing a few verbal fights between them. Then one day I get a call from the girl's sister asking when I was going to be back at the apartment, because both of my roommates were in jail.

Long story short, it turned out that she assaulted him and he defended himself, then they both called the cops on each other. The cops came quickly, and they forgot that they had left a POUND of weed out in the open.

They used my security deposit on bail, and the girl apparently snapped and had a mental breakdown of some sort. She accused me of being a cop because on my license I used to live on a street that ended with "Court." So she apparently thought I lived in a courthouse or some shit. I noped out as soon as I could and found my own place.

Appropriate reaction:

6. Furniture party:

I once had one of my roommates move out on short notice and had to rush to find a replacement. My other roommate found someone through her coworker that needed a 3 month sublet. The girl came over on 2 separate occasions to take a look at the apartment and the room, and decided that she wanted to move in, everything seemed to be going smoothly.

My first red flag was when she asked me the day before moving in if it was okay for her to bring a "large desk and small couch" that she really didn't want to part with. Now, my apartment is a loft so it's pretty open feeling, but it's not actually that big, the bedrooms are tiny, and it was obviously already fully furnished. I told her we could try and find room for it, and she assured me that if I ended up not being okay with it she would move them to storage.

The next morning she came with movers to bring her bed, dresser and the aforementioned furniture. The couch actually fit okay, and we propped up the disassembled desk in a corner - a slight eyesore but not too in the way, I could live with it for a few months. Sublet girl left to get the rest of her personal belongs, and my roommate and I left for a friend's barbecue for the day.

What we came home to that night was surreal and terrifying (I should add that we ate a pot brownie and were super-duper stoned.) When we entered we found what appeared the be the entire contents of another apartment in our apartment. Tables, stools, chairs, dressers, a standing keyboard, floor lamps, table lamps, full length mirrors, a full set of pots and pans, plates and flatware, a toaster oven, and just boxes upon boxes of things. You could barely walk it was so cluttered.

When we told her that she had brought way more stuff than we agreed to she started insisting that she could make it all fit. Apparently, she had planned on just getting rid of most of her furniture but "at the last minute realized it would be a waste of money" (she seriously phrased it just like that,) so she had her dad help her bring it all over while we were gone. I told her there was no way it would all fit and that she would have to move the stuff into storage (as she had previously offered) and she flipped out. She started screaming about how I thought I knew everything was generally very rude and insulting, telling me how I "must have never lived with roommates before."

As she became more aggressive I really started to freak out, realizing I was going to have to kick this girl out. I had to just leave the apartment at that point to avoid a full blown panic attack. When I came back I told her that this wasn't going to work and she had to find somewhere else to live. She continued to be angry and aggressive, screaming at me and throwing a fit, but finally agreed to have all her stuff out by the next week.

Appropriate reaction:

Huh! what?

5. The Double Move:

For a few months during the Summer of 2009 I was floating between different living situations in Greenpoint while waiting for a more permanent place to become available.

One location was near McGolrick Park, which I found on Craigslist. I checked out the room and met the roommates, and it seemed ideal for the month or two I'd be there. I rented the U Haul, got a friend to help me move, packed up my belongings and moved them to this new spot on the top floor of a four floor walk up. It took a good part of a day, and as is customary, I took my helper friend out to dinner after the move.

After dinner I went back to the new apartment to unpack and setup my bed. I get in the front door, turn on the lights, and the walls and floor are moving: cockroaches of all sizes, thousands of them. I've never seen so many roaches. I stood there in disbelief. Fear turned to anger.

I called up my buddy and told him the situation. He offered me his couch to sleep on for the night, so I headed down to Williamsburg.

The next day I went to work and told my coworkers the story. One of them knew of an open apartment down the street from the infested place that I could use for two weeks. My boss told me to deal with is ASAP, so I left work, went back to U Haul, packed my shit up and moved.

Moving twice in a 24 hour period is not fun.

Appropriate reaction:




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1 comments
Aaliyah21215
Aaliyah21215

All The Rats Everywhere had to have been the funniest damn story ever!

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