The Zombie Apocalypse Is Located on a Terrifying Street Corner in Vinegar Hill, According to Google Maps

zombie_apocalypse_google_maps.jpg
Google Maps directs us to our doom
In these uncertain times, it's natural for one's thoughts to turn towards the inevitable nuclear war/pandemic/act of bioterrorism that will finally doom us as a species. Most of us will be wiped out, of course, and most of the ones who remain will be drooling, shuffling, hollow-eyed wraiths, subsisting only on the brains of the living. (No, not members of Congress. Although that's also a good guess.)

The bad news, as Business Insider recently pointed out, is that New York ranks almost dead last on the list of states most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse. (We rank in at number 48, mercifully beating Jersey, who are at the absolute bottom.)

The worse news, we regret to inform you, is that the zombie apocalypse is already here.

That's right: when you search for "zombie apocalypse" in Google Maps, you get: two haunted houses, one in Wichita, Kansas and one in Conley, Georgia, a zombie apocalypse supply store in Vegas, and a "training center" in Santa Barbara, which sounds about right. But only one place has the all-caps, no-bullshit ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, and that place is Vinegar Hill, Brooklyn, on the corner of John and Hudson streets.

The view from the other side of the street is much, much worse:

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"What the hell is that?" you ask, reaching for your sawed-off shotgun. It's the Con Edison Hudson Avenue Generating Station, which was completed in the 1930s and was once the largest steam power-plant in the world. But oil- and steam-burning boiler plants are terrible for the environment, and much of the Hudson Avenue station was shut down in 2011, paving the way for a terrifying chase scene near the middle of your own personal horror movie.

You'll notice that some joker has designated the Vinegar Hill zombiepocalypse (sorry) as a bar. That is no bar, friend. That is your certain doom.

Correction: An earlier version of this post incorrectly referred to the zombie-infested neighborhood as Red Hook. It is in fact Vinegar Hill. We regret the error, and any errant zombie attacks that may have occurred as a result. Stay safe out there.

Credit for this Google Maps discovery goes to friend of Runnin' Scared and zombie preparedness expert Stephen Benavides.

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8 comments
NewsDog
NewsDog

Gotta call BS here.

Texas is ranked 34th of 50 for gun ownership?!? Anna, you lived in Dallas for how long?

Oh wait, it's based on data on gun owners that have had a background check... that explains it.   

Kevin Black
Kevin Black

Dude, If I was going to pick any spot in Brooklyn to try to hole up during a full-on ZA, this would be the king shit location. No lie. Let me count the ways: Water on two sides Razorwire fencing, but good vehicle access. Tall Structures with clear approaches Built-in mazes to delay zombie hordes Elevated access to adjacent structures This place is the ultimate ZA fortress. All you need is guns. Lots and lots of guns.

tquid
tquid

That's Vinegar Hill, not Red Hook.

Anna_Merlan_Voice
Anna_Merlan_Voice

@NewsDog  Yeah, right? Places where you can't just pick up 17 guns at the gun show. (Shitty places)

Anna_Merlan_Voice
Anna_Merlan_Voice

@tquid  You're right. This is why we don't blog before coffee. Fixing now. Plus admitting here that I'm an idiot. Thanks!

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