50 Things You Do When You're New To New York
We were all new to New York at some point. Plenty of you no doubt took your first gulp of air in the maternity ward at Bellevue Hospital. But this list isn't for you. Many of us, including most here at the Voice, emigrated from elsewhere. We came in droves from the West Coast and the heartland. From overseas. From New Jersey. But despite this diversity, there is one thread that unites us all: each of us had to survive those first tricky few weeks in the city. We all made many of the same mistakes, succumbed to the same tricks and lived the same cliches.
Gift of Walter and Naomi Rosenblum At some point, we were all new to New York. ("Climbing into the Promised Land, Ellis Island")
As spring begins to turn into summer (it was 80 degrees yesterday!) we are entering the city's heaviest intake season. Come September, there will be more of us here than there are today. Here are 50 things that these newbies will probably do, say and think before they feel like natives. And there should be no shame in that. We've done a lot of these ourselves.
50. Think, on the subway, "It's showtime? Awesome! Let's watch!"
49. Make living in Brooklyn more expensive for the rest of us.
48. Make living in Manhattan cheaper for the rest of us.
47. Refuse to live in the other three boroughs under any circumstances.
46. Order a slice other than "plain" or "pepperoni."
45. Curse the lack of central AC in your apartment.
43. Instagram every rooftop view.
41. Believe "Excuse me," spoken on the train, does not actually mean "Fuck you!"
40. Think "I'm doing it! I'm living my dream in the greatest city on the planet!" while eating a sad Hale and Hearty soup in your cubicle.