50 Things You Do When You're New To New York

Categories: Lists

494px-Brooklyn_Museum_-_Climbing_into_the_Promised_Land_Ellis_Island_-_Lewis_Wickes_Hine.jpg
Gift of Walter and Naomi Rosenblum
At some point, we were all new to New York. ("Climbing into the Promised Land, Ellis Island")
We were all new to New York at some point. Plenty of you no doubt took your first gulp of air in the maternity ward at Bellevue Hospital. But this list isn't for you. Many of us, including most here at the Voice, emigrated from elsewhere. We came in droves from the West Coast and the heartland. From overseas. From New Jersey. But despite this diversity, there is one thread that unites us all: each of us had to survive those first tricky few weeks in the city. We all made many of the same mistakes, succumbed to the same tricks and lived the same cliches.

As spring begins to turn into summer (it was 80 degrees yesterday!) we are entering the city's heaviest intake season. Come September, there will be more of us here than there are today. Here are 50 things that these newbies will probably do, say and think before they feel like natives. And there should be no shame in that. We've done a lot of these ourselves.

50. Think, on the subway, "It's showtime? Awesome! Let's watch!"

49. Make living in Brooklyn more expensive for the rest of us.

48.
Make living in Manhattan cheaper for the rest of us.

47. Refuse to live in the other three boroughs under any circumstances.

46. Order a slice other than "plain" or "pepperoni."

45. Curse the lack of central AC in your apartment.

43. Instagram every rooftop view.

NYC-bodega-needscredit.jpg
Paul Lowry via Compfight cc
What's the name of this place? Who cares? They have beer.
42. Wonder if your local bodega actually has a name.

41. Believe "Excuse me," spoken on the train, does not actually mean "Fuck you!"

40. Think "I'm doing it! I'm living my dream in the greatest city on the planet!" while eating a sad Hale and Hearty soup in your cubicle.

See also: 50 Reasons to Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live in New York City

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72 comments
Eric Eddy
Eric Eddy

51) Contribute to the destruction of NYCs working class communities, the disparity between rich and poor, and the scarcity of affordable housing, by being a rich, spoiled interloper.

Jonathan Milenko
Jonathan Milenko

Ride the A or D all the way to 125th St, when that was the last thing you wanted to do.

Robert Berry
Robert Berry

Why couldn't "view as one page" be on page one and not page five?

Gianluca D'Agostino
Gianluca D'Agostino

I am from Italy and when I lived in NY I do remember I was the one who took my NY native friends into new and old places in the city. Hence it's not a matter if you're native Nyorker or not it's only about WHO YOU ARE.

Gianluca D'Agostino
Gianluca D'Agostino

this new yorker parochialist campaign frenzy is leading the villagevoice and the gothamist nowhere but in the realm of idiocy. You can't frame New York into one or more meaningless categories because New York is a series of consciousness projections of which you know nothing about but it scares you to death not being able to frame it into some dumb category. Time for a career change.

Julie Greenberg
Julie Greenberg

It's a sad day for the Village Voice to have this list in it, pandering to the hipsters. When I was growing up, Brooklyn was just as outer borough as Queens or the Bronx or Staten Island. In my mind, it still is.

Julie Greenberg
Julie Greenberg

Yes because you're so cool you can be snarky and insult someone's opinion on facebook.

Rayne Macy
Rayne Macy

that's f*ing hilarious!!! good belly laugh :)

Alexander Ivanoff
Alexander Ivanoff

Taking the (G) to Manhattan is like taking the (A) to the Bronx. Just not happening.

Heidi Spahn
Heidi Spahn

Keep recycling this list. Seen in at least twice before. Yawn

Heidi Spahn
Heidi Spahn

Keep recycling this list. Seen in at least twice before. Yawn

Patrick Southern
Patrick Southern

Woah, relax. The use of the word "idiot" is not always so loaded...

Judith Sirreal
Judith Sirreal

Thank you but I'm sure you aren't idiots either.

Judith Sirreal
Judith Sirreal

Idiot? Have you ever made a mistake? Must you use the term Idiot? Bullies are rampant and alleged media professionals are amongst their core. If you have ever cared for or about anyone "different" or with mentally handicapped people you too should take offense. It damages your credibility and makes you appear to be arrogant, gatekeepers of judgement. Take whatever train you want.

David Slone
David Slone

51. Write lists of 50 Things You Do When You're New To New York.

Melinda Matkowsky
Melinda Matkowsky

Ha the G train. Never rode it and never will. 30 years going strong

Jaclyn Rosa
Jaclyn Rosa

not everyone thats in new york is new to it. Some of us actually grew up here and were raised here. Not everyone is a transplant from some other town to say they made it to the big city. Some people actually knew how to read a train map since they were little kids.

Fernanda Mota
Fernanda Mota

Marcella D'Annolfo essas sao para quem visita NY, nao para quem conhece NY!

Kay Tamoua
Kay Tamoua

Some of this true, trying not to look like an idiot, but mostly I think this is for people who are young and immature.

John David Riley
John David Riley

well said? read a book or watch a movie about the historical context of change in new york city. cotdamn how do some of yall breathe independently....

Ira Ras Negus George
Ira Ras Negus George

Piece by Piece They destroy the city most of us knew visually but I'll say this again & again Buildings don't make a city people do so the more Authentic New Yorkers who move out the less New York is New York! Most couldn't survive in the New York of old they had to soften it up using devil financial tactics because they had no heart,muscle, & no God!!!!!!!!

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