Rightbloggers Celebrate Hobby Lobby as Defeat for Liberals, Victory for Something-or-Other

[Roy Edroso dissects the right-wing blogosphere in this weekly feature]

Last week's Hobby Lobby decision at the Supreme Court was contentious, as you probably noticed. For liberals, it was an egregious misreading of the competing interests at stake, and suggested for-profit companies can use possibly specious religious arguments to deny women their rights under Obamacare.

For rightbloggers it was mainly a fun victory. Oh, they were, as you might imagine, glad that ladies lost to religion and corporations -- in their world, that's a twofer! -- but most of them didn't press that point; it was as if, given the imminence of election season, they didn't want to sack-dance on female voters too much. So they instead devoted their writings to the distress of liberals, and how it proved they were stupid, a compelling message they can bring to voters of either gender.

The Court ruled that for-profit corporation Hobby Lobby could buck the federal requirement that it must supply employee health insurance that includes birth control. They are now exempt on religious grounds, even though Hobby Lobby is a for-profit businesses whose stock-in-trade has nothing to do with religion, because the owners say Jesus told them four of the forms of birth control covered as essential health benefits under Obamacare are abortion -- which is not true, at least on this side of the cosmic veil, but the Hobby Lobby folks claim to believe it, and that's good enough for SCOTUS short-straw-drawer Justice Samuel Alito, though he warned that this schtick would not work with immunizations or blood transfusions because those are serious medical issues.

Rightbloggers were ecstatic. "A huge victory for religious liberty" and "a massive blow to Obama and the liberals who think religious liberty should only operate on their terms," said Conservative Tribune. "...Obama continues to lose big time at our nation's highest court, showing that he really has zero regard for what the Constitution says."

"Join Me in Hobby Lobby Love Day," said Bristol Pali at Patheos wait wait wait a minute Bristol Palin? Yes, America's most famous contraception failure told readers "We should all go to Hobby Lobby and buy something to celebrate," because "buying something at Hobby Lobby will send a strong message.

Thank you for having the guts to stand up to an overreaching President who's trying to re-make America into his own image." (You know -- black!)

Her Patheos colleague John Mark Reynolds professed to believe the decision meant "long-term traditional religious ideas about human sexuality will prevail in America," because "support for the sexual revolution is strongest in the young whose views are the least formed. It is weakest in the older, those least likely to change their minds," and those steadfast older people will by the grace of God live for hundreds of years, like Methusaleh -- oh, we give up, we have no idea what he means, though Reynolds did mention "general prosperity for the traditionalists" as a factor, so maybe God will slip them some walking-around money to help the cause along.

Jason Scott Jones and John Zmirak at the Daily Caller also felt a turn in the tide. While "a teenage girl in 1848 whose boyfriend wanted to sleep with her would have had many reasons to refuse... A girl of the same age today would have fewer breaks on the power of instinct, knowing that contraception might well prevent a pregnancy -- and that if one resulted, she could abort it." Also, if she had the kid, "a large array of government programs would provide for her and the child..." Statism makes sluts! Thank God for Alito and the boys: "We would have faced grim times indeed the court had ruled otherwise." Now America may yet be saved, for "in a decentralized system, thousands of people have the wherewithal to resist and obstruct the progress of evil."

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