Obama Doesn't 'Have a Strategy' on ISIS? Rightbloggers Do: Scare the Voters

The president did address the ISIS situation last week in modest terms, telling reporters that "I don't want to put the cart before the horse" and that "we don't have a strategy yet" on ISIS in Syria. Though presidential pronouncements on military operations are notoriously circumspect, rightbloggers, for perhaps the first time in history, took Obama at his word, and attacked him for not having the slightest idea what to do in Syria when all patriots knew that the solution was KABOOM!

"An American president who was serious about marshaling and mobilizing the elements of national power behind a strategy for victory could, we suspect, defeat the Islamic State more quickly and more easily than President Obama thinks," said the great military strategist William Kristol. Despite the failure of the Iraq cause he helped lead, Kristol was insisting last March that "a war-weary public can be awakened and rallied" to further mayhem abroad, and in ISIS he clearly saw a fresh chance. Obama couldn't be "the war president we deserve," added Kristol, but he was sure his fellow hawks in Congress would "lay the groundwork for the arrival of a new president who will lead from the front." Maybe Kristol will advise whoever that person is to wear a giant robe and carry a scythe, so everybody knows up front what they're getting into.

Haw haw, that Nobama sure loves golf, hates America. (Patriots Billboard).
Obama's statement was pounced on by commentators of all kinds, including some not normally associated with saber-rattling. "Obama, too, is in a coma. Waking up would entail actually building an international coalition to deal with the situation in Iraq and Syria . . . Obama also needs to lead on putting together a coherent, effective, and defensible policy for the war on terror — one that he can sell to Republicans, allies, and especially the American people who he has treated as an afterthought in all this," said Doug Feith — just kidding, guys! It was Nick Gillespie of libertarian flagship Reason.

Adding to the shame Obama brought to America, we were told, was Obama's choice of clothing. He delivered his remarks in a tan suit, which provoked the wrath of Representative Peter King and typically incisive commentary from the brethren, e.g., Steve Hayward of Power Line: "I think Obama's fashion-felony tan suit is a signal that he really has packed up his presidency." Perhaps the classiest reaction came from religious blogger Mollie Hemingway of The Federalist, who suggested Obama should have been wearing brown slacks, because he was shitting his pants with fear.

Meanwhile, at the upper reaches of the conservative food chain, Senator Ted Cruz proposed to a Dallas crowd — after telling them, "I spent last week in Washington, D.C. It's great to be back in America" — that the U.S. "bomb [ISIS] back to the Stone Age," compared "the Russian bear" to "the Obama kitty cat," and otherwise flexed his figurative muscles to the delight of rightblogger war hawks. "CRUZ'S 2014 GOP VICTORY PLAN," headlined Breitbart.com. "Barry Goldwater, the late Arizona senator who upended the Republican establishment, and to whom Cruz has often been compared, couldn't have said it better," said Eliana Johnson at National Review.

"Had we followed [my Syria plan], there's a good chance you would not see an ISIS today," Breitbart.com's Dan Riehl quoted Mitt Romney, the current Republican presidential frontrunner. Romney "rounds up by connecting the dots between what many are now coming to conclude is an extremely weak foreign policy on multiple fronts of the Obama administration," gushed Riehl.

John McCain, in his capacity as President of the United States' Sunday Morning Talk Shows, claimed Obama was "'either in denial or overwhelmed' by the threat ISIS poses to the United States," per Breitbart.com.

Meanwhile, the administration continues its airstrikes with what appears to be great success, and even the heretofore sluggish Iraqi forces have stepped up against ISIS, just as everyone would prefer. But so what? Rightbloggers don't care about those foreigners; whatever happens half a world away, they would prefer that you be left with the impression that the president is insufficiently butch, and that if you return Republicans to power they'll lead you back to glory and another multitrillion-dollar war.

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