Westboro Baptist Church Will Also Picket Gawker, Buzzfeed, Foursquare, Basically Everybody Else

kitten-pile-flickr-shamey-jo.jpg
Photo by Flickr user Shamey Jo, who is not affiliated with the WBC.
A fuzzy kitten pile: the direct opposite of the Westboro Baptist Church.
Last week, we told you that the Westboro Baptist Church, a merry band of noxious trolls with questionable ties to Jesus, is returning to New York to picket the New York Times, Facebook, the Huffington Post, and the 9/11 Memorial Museum. It appears that the WBC has realized that picketing media outlets is a good way to get attention: they've added a couple dozen other websites, publishing companies and tech ventures to their picket schedule. This is probably our fault. Sorry, everyone. Sorry.

In addition to their original targets, the WBC now plans to picket Reuters, Viacom, Comedy Central -- which they may or may not be aware is a subsidiary of Viacom -- the Wall Street Journal, Fox News, HBO, NBC, ABC, CBS, Time Warner, Univision, Buzzfeed (which they refer to as "Buzz Feed"), Gawker, Tumblr, Vine, AOL, Harper's, Scholastic Publishers, Foursquare, and the New York Daily News . Nearly all of these protests will take place on September 10, planned out in 20-minute increments.

It's as ambitious as it is hilarious. On their picket schedule website, the WBC's justifications for their picket targets range from predictable (the Wall Street Journal is in trouble for not opposing "fag marriage") to the deeply, truly bizarre. Viacom is being singled out not just for MTV's programming ("the Video Music Awards which has become synonymous with your God hating stars trying to outdo each other with their filth"), but for their children's programming on Nickelodeon:

The filth isn't contained to just adults and teenagers. Nickelodeon which has programming for children is just as bad. A preschool show called Bubble Guppies parodied Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Doesn't that sound like a good thing for toddlers to be singing? Another show called Victorious has a character talking about spending time with her fag uncles. And don't forget the star of Fred coming out as a fag.

All of these things, you see, are morally equivalent in the eyes of the Lord: MTV, gay marriage, Lady Gaga, Bubble Guppies. And Harper's is being singled out not just for their content, but for their very physical location. The church writes, "WBC will picket the fag-enabling, sin-promoting, Christ-rejecting, God-haters at Harper's Magazine. (NOTE: Their address tells the story - 666 Broadway)."

We're also overjoyed to report that the Village Voice has been specially singled out to not be picketed. The reason, the WBC explains, is both that we are passé and that, in our last post on this subject, we used a photo of a trio of adorable baby kittens instead of one depicting the WBC and their various shouty signs. The church writes, "Westboro Baptist Church will picket the headquarters of AOL while sharing the love with the rebellious New York Media Outlets. (Except The Village Voice, they are so yesterday... and their little kittens too. JK :-) )" [sic]

What a delightful time to be alive and in the media business. The WBC is doubtless aware that most New York media outlets hold weekly pansexual orgies in the place of staff meetings; we hope everyone will move the festivities outdoors so the church is able to participate.


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22 comments
epc
epc

…that or Westboro Baptist is afraid of the whole subway thing. Which is funny given the number of protests they plan for 10 Septemer.

UziTrainginForKidz
UziTrainginForKidz

I run a small firing range in Arizona. I would like to hire these Westboro folks. They sound like great additions...


tjnrj1toejoe
tjnrj1toejoe

What is y'all's major malfunction? Who told you guys that it was ok to go and Pickett or protest a military funeral? I do not believe that the God that I believe in would, think that was appropriate. The only reason you even have the right to do that, is because these fine young men and women fought to give you that right. Without them, we would be a Muslim speaking country by now and the Muslims would have beheaded each and everyone of you except for maybe the women of your congregation. Them they would make into sexual slaves, to fulfill their devilish desires. All the females, where they think that it is ok for a fifty year old man takes a two year old female baby and make her his wife, in every sense of the word. So I want to leave you with this, if any of you men have a wife and/or daughters, and the Muslims take over this country, which is the way things are going now, after they cut you head off and discard your carcass on the side of the road, they will take turns raping your wife and daughters until they are all used up, then they will probably cut them in little pieces, with no mercy, and get rid of them. And I believe God will let this happen, because of all the grief and problems that y'all have caused. I would almost pay to watch this happen, because i do not believe that you believe in God or follow his words. Satans maybe, but not God. I just want you guys to know, that I forgive you for your transgressions, but I hope you all rot in HELL!!

geedub28
geedub28

@greghoward88 every time Westboro is mentioned I think of 1 phrase: thou doth protest too much sir

mayonnaisehands
mayonnaisehands

Here is how it is done. I am willing to facilitate the camera and editing. Listen up: We don't need a counter protest. We need one guy with a camera (me). And one guy or girl with a portable drum set up (Kick, snare, and cymbal). At opportune moments spoken by WBC on their loudspeakers the drummer does the classic joke rimshot. For example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frd53vbCHLg

That way everything they say is a big joke. Hilarity ensues. Now. Who has a drum set that can travel?

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