Feminist Comedians Raised $50,000 During an Abortion Access Telethon, and Conservative Twitter's Heads Exploded

Screenshot via Ladyparts Justice
Lizz Winstead, Sarah Silverman, and a giant stuffed vulva raise money for Texas abortion access.
As you may have heard, there's a public health emergency going down in Texas, where a far-reaching abortion ban has made the procedure virtually impossible for many women to obtain. The law in question, HB 2, went into effect on November 1. It shuttered about one-third of the abortion clinics in the state, and created a new requirement that physicians who perform abortions must have admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles, an impossibility for many rural doctors.

The remaining clinics are now stretched to the breaking point, and the nonprofit foundations that help women pay for abortions are quickly running out of money. The Supreme Court is now deciding whether to block the law's implementation while it's being appealed in a lower court; in a brief to the Supremes, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott argued that the law wasn't hurting anyone. No one he cares about, anyway.

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Ah Ha! Moment: Armstrong Confesses to Oprah

Two people had a discussion last night that has been a long time coming. A question was asked and with an answer in the affirmative, their entire relationship changed. Though the description sounds like a delightful marriage proposal, this was actually a television interview.

"Yes." With one word Lance Armstrong finally admitted he doped. During the first section of a two-part interview last night with Oprah Winfrey on her OWN network, the disgraced former cycling champion acknowledged what he had lied about repeatedly for years.

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Which Was the Worse Gaffe: Herman Cain's "Princess Nancy" or Rick Perry's Dementia?

These Republican debates are getting more bizarre every week, and last night, we were treated to not one but two epic moments. Herman Cain, the one time Godfather's Pizza CEO and implausible front runner in primary poling for the GOP nomination, has been on the ropes the past couple of weeks for, as Gloria Allred crudely put it, offering "his idea of a stimulus package" to female colleagues.

With woman after woman coming forward to charge him with sexual harassment, calling the previous Speaker of the House "Princess Nancy" may have not been Cain's best phrasing to show he has respect for professional women.

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Iowa Still Ground Zero on Gay Marriage

More than two years before New York got its shit together last summer, the über-progressive state of Iowa made same-sex marriage legal in 2009. The decision came from the state's Supreme Court, which drew from their state constituion's long history of being way ahead of the curve on civil rights in general. Because of their ruling, same-sex marriage became a constitutional right in Iowa, as American as the corn in their fields (and the syrup which will be pumped into our McDonald's apple pies).

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Mitt Romney: "I'm Running for Office, for Pete's Sake! I Can't Have Illegals!"

It was a strange debate last night, even by the standards of this year's crop of Republican primary candidates. Michele Bachmann (who looked disarmingly like a post- Jedi Princess Leia) promised to build a "double fence" along the length of the United States/Mexico border; Herman Cain slipped into honesty by talking about the "hostages in Guantanamo Bay"; Rick Perry bizarrely said that if you want to know how people will act in the future, you should look at their past; Rick Santorum bragged about being the only person to win a swing state (neglecting to mention he lost Pennsylvania by 18 points in 2006); Newt Gingrich hectored others about following a moral compass; and Ron Paul came off as the sanest person on the stage.

But the real gem of the evening was how Mitt Romney answered a question about his history of hiring undocumented immigrants.

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