• We're hearing that JFK's American Airlines terminal has been evacuated as officials investigate a suspicious package apparently left in a business class lounge by a man who boarded a flight to San Francisco. A bomb squad has been called after a bomb-sniffing dog alerted authorities to the bag. Update: An all-clear has been given. [NBC NY]

• Donald Trump has been ordered by a Florida judge to return a $200,000 membership fee to Harry Theodoracopulos, 77, a man he kicked out of the club for being "verbally abusive" to caddies and talking too loudly on the course. Trump will appeal. [NYDN]

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Hours of airport fun!

In a bizarre coincidence (some might even call it a "trend"), the New York Post notes that a mere two days after a stun gun was discovered in the back pocket of seat 9B of a JetBlue flight that had landed at Newark, two stun guns were found at JFK, this time in the luggage of a New Jersey restaurateur. Othon Mourkakos, who is 53, was headed to Frankfurt via a Lufthansa flight when a sharp-eyed Terminal One TSA screener noticed the guns in his bag. Mourkakos said the guns were for relatives in Greece and that he "didn't know it was illegal in New York." Seriously, though. How many times have you seen that damn sign saying snow globes are illegal -- and not a one about stun guns! Come on, TSA. Help us help you. [NYP]

Fresh

Nearly five pounds of cocaine were found hidden in the soles of sneakers in a suitcase at John F. Kennedy Airport last week, Customs and Border Protection Officers announced on Monday. No one ever picked up the luggage, which came from the Dominican Republic, perhaps because they thought airport agents were on to them, and on Thursday officials noticed the kicks were a little heavier than usual. A search revealed them to be filled with white powder -- the kind worth about $107,000 on the street. Meanwhile, the two white pairs in the middle say "Hang Ten" on the back and could probably fetch a pretty penny at a vintage store, especially with this backstory. Just sayin'. [NBC NY]

In a move sure to capture the ire of Americans across the country, Delta Airlines has charged American troops returning from Afghanistan via Baltimore Washington International Airport $2,800 ($200 each) in extra baggage fees. Here's video from soldier Robert O'Hair, explaining the situation, with which he is clearly not happy.

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"Life is waiting"

A Mount Vernon man named Andre Reid gets the distinction of being called "deranged" by the New York Post for the stunt he pulled yesterday: The 21-year-old ended up down on the tarmac by a US Airways jet just before it took off from LaGuardia Airport. Reid was spotted by the plane's pilot, just cruising "like he was taking a stroll in his backyard," according to police. "That in itself is very scary -- that he was able to get within feet of an airplane that was due to take off." Reid couldn't get his story straight and was charged with trespassing. The pilot got "spooked" and unloaded the whole plane, including luggage, resulting in a bunch of pissed-off passengers and an idea for a Tom Hanks sequel: The Tarmac. [NYP]

United Continental will "permanently retire" flight numbers 93 and 175, Bloomberg reports, in honor of the flights hijacked on September 11, 2011. Over the past decade, the numbers have not been in use, but an error earlier this week caused them to pop up again, much to the chagrin of pilots' and flight attendants' unions. "The thought of anyone among management at United Airlines to even consider reinstating these two sacred flight numbers -- on the heels of Osama Bin Laden's death -- demonstrates a severe disconnect from right and wrong," said a chairman of the Air Line Pilots Association.

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We've seen the uncomfortable situation that can arise when a 6-year-old gets patted down in the airport, and already Congress has said they are reviewing the incident. But it's not a one-off -- across generations people have increasingly expressed opposition to what they see as invasive airport searches, and now a famous voice is speaking out. Susie Castillo, Miss USA 2003, filmed the tearful video above after opting for a pat-down instead of risking the radiation of a full-body scanner. "I do feel violated," Castillo says from the Dallas airport. "This woman, she touched my vagina four times."

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Updated after the jump with TSA and Congressional response.

This video of the TSA patting down and, possibly, drug-testing a 6-year-old girl has been circulating to the shock and horror of many (Drudge Report has image of the little girl with the headline "TSA STILL GROPING CHILDREN!"). Suffice it to say, we don't know the full circumstances here, and there isn't much to go on, but it does seem like a case of the letter of the law being followed to the degradation of the spirit. This is the world we live in, apparently.

[h/t to @mikeriggs]More »

Sure, New York City's LaGuardia airport is pretty grimy. The floor tiles are caked with dirt that has lingered since the airport's opening in 1939, and the fabrics have taken an obvious beat down. The terminals are crowded, and as the smallest of three airports in the area, LaGuardia is noticeably the most outdated. Recently unable to keep his big trap closed, Donald Trump decided to call this out on national television yesterday, comparing LaGuardia to a "third-world" operation.

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Well, what do you know about this: If you bitch and moan and kick and scream about getting screened (or groped) by the TSA, you are that much more likely to get screened that much more thoroughly (or aggressively). Especially if you do it in the airport security line, where the TSA screeners can hear you.

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