Four Loko Promises Attorney General It Will No Longer Be Quite So Loco

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Image via Free Loko.
This would presumably fall under the category of banned user-generated content.
Surely each and every one of you remember where you were on the bleak day back in 2010 when insanely caffeinated, insanely alcoholic energy drink Four Loko was banned in New York. Pushed by Senator Chuck Schumer, who called Four Loko a "toxic and dangerous brew," the State Liquor Authority stopped allowing the caffeinated version of the drink to be sold here; New York was one of four states to do so.

But the youth of America still wanted Four Loko, probably because, in the sage words of one shopkeeper interviewed by NYU paper The Local, "It makes you crazy," or because, as the "Save Four Loko" Facebook page put it, "It makes your dick wet." (The Local found that nearly a year after the ban took effect, some bodegas were still selling the caffeinated version of the drink.)

So the attorneys general of 20 states, along with the city attorney of San Francisco, decided to band together and sue Phusion Projects, LLC, the Chicago-based maker of Four Loko. That suit was settled yesterday, after Phusion promised to keep caffeine, underage people and Santa out of the making and marketing of the drink.

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A Fatal Car Crash, NYPD Cop DWI In Brooklyn Last Night; Nassau Cops Get a DWI Grant

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It was an eventful but tragic evening in the outer borough of Kings County.

Late last night, on the Ocean Parkway in Sheepshead Bay, two cars met in a head-on collision after the driver of a BMW lost control and swerved into oncoming traffic, hitting a minivan. 

The man behind the wheel, Jamal Iqual, was pronounced dead at Coney Island Hospital soon after the crash. The police have made no arrests yet as the BMW passengers are both listed as in 'stable condition' after experiencing serious body trauma.

Meanwhile, around midnight near Brooklyn Heights, NYPD officer Ronald Gonzalez, 41, was taken into custody after reportedly failing a DWI test and a refusal to use a breathalyzer. The details of the arrest and subsequent investigation are minimal but are sure to come.

But, thankfully, on Long Island, police officers in Nassau County are getting a little more cash flow to protect the streets from the intoxicated.


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City Tackles Drunk Driving By Giving Away Debit Cards Today In Queens and Brooklyn

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via Facebook
Free money!

As part of its campaign against drunk driving, the city's Department of Transportation has launched a "Safe Rides Home" giveaway promotion with thousands of free taxi, livery, and public transit rides in honor of, what else, March Madness.

It's a part of this slightly oddly-named initiative called You The Man, which is intended to "resonate with all New Yorkers, and especially young men ages 21-39 -- a demographic overrepresented in alcohol-related crashes in the city," according to a press release sent out last week.

So, you know, be the man, dudes, and claim your free money!

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'Escort Quality, Hooker Pricing' Billboard Is Not OK, Says Scott Stringer

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If an offensive advertisement fails, and you apologize for the offensiveness of the ad, what's the next logical step for the ad company? For Wodka Vodka, the answer apparently is to try and offend someone else. IN VERY LARGE LETTERS.

The thinking behind the madness: If making fun of Jews doesn't work, choose a different victim.

How about, um, hookers? (And, y'know, everyone who would prefer not to read "HOOKER" on the drive home?)

Yeah.

In November, the company that runs ads for the Vodka business, put up a large billboard that read 'Christmas Quality, Hanukkah Pricing.'

After wonderful feedback, they took it down.

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Cops to Crack Down on East Village Drunks

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Boozers and bars are just ruining the East Village, neighborhood residents claim.

So the NYPD Ninth Precinct, which patrols the area, will deploy eight to 10 additional cops in the next month to combat "nightlife-related problems," according to DNAinfo.

The team will be sent out during the evening, to fight noise and unruliness (which apparently threaten the very fabric of East Village life.)

At a recent public safety meeting, Capt. John Cappelmann, who runs the Ninth Precinct, promised residents that the additional patrolmen will prevent people from having fun.

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Long Island City Strip Club Denied Liquor License; Lawyer Says Owners May Challenge in Court, or Not

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Not in my backyard, strip club! Not in my booming-on-its-way-to-becoming-the-coolest-neighborhood-in-the-city backyard! Long Island City, that is. Elected officials and allegedly everyone in the blossoming Queens neighborhood on the other side of the East River (business, civic, AND religious communities!), are celebrating the latest obstacle for a strip club hoping to set up shop in the area.

Yesterday, the State Liquor Authority denied the club's application for a liquor license -- the second time for the business, known as Gypsy Rose (though it was apparently a different incarnation of the company the first time it tried).


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Seventeen Still Missing From Cruise Ship; Miss America Crowned; Three-Alarm Fire In Bushwick

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via
After three more people were found alive Sunday, at least 17 people are still missing from the Costa Concordia, the cruise ship that ran aground off the Italian coast Friday night. Francesco Schettino, the captain of the ship, has been arrested for, according to CNN, "investigation of manslaughter, causing a shipwreck and abandoning ship while passengers were still on board." The New York Times said that his arrest was "amid concerns that the megaship had steered dangerously off course." [NYT, CNN]

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The Couple That Drinks Together Drinks Together, Study Finds

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NOT PICTURED: His girlfriend, drinking vodka out of a salad spinner.
Ever notice that when you crack open your third bottle of wine, your boyfriend or girlfriend is uncorking his or her third bottle as well? This may be evidence of a broader trend among young couples, a new study finds. USA Today reports that researchers in Nova Scotia discovered they "were able to predict one partner's binge drinking based on the other partner's binge drinking." Don't worry, single binge drinkers, there's bound to be someone out there for you, and they're probably throwing a shoe at the TV of an airport bar as you read this.

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Americans Are Spending More Money On Things Like Premade Cocktails

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In what appears to be a case of Carrie Bradshaw-onomics, the New York Times reports that, even amid these current financial straits, Americans have been buying more things they don't actually need over the past year. But this doesn't mean anything is actually getting better in the economy. It's just that people can't resist giving themselves little presents.

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Blue Donkey, Upper West Side Bar, Closes After Irate Neighbor Takes to 311

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Esther Zuckerman
A war has been waged in the stroller-filled streets of the Upper West Side. The players: the Blue Donkey Bar and resident Tim Tomlinson. For now it looks like Tomlinson has won. A sign posted on the window of the recently shuttered bar on Amsterdam Avenue pinpointed the West 84th Street resident Tomlinson for its demise.

The bar was shut down by the police Wednesday, and on Friday owners struck a deal with the police that if they ceased business on their own accord, the charges against them would be dropped, owner Jim Goldsmith told us.

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