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A-Rod, LiLo and Uma: Celebrity Craziness Roundup

Posted by Heather Muse at 10:50 AM, May 7, 2008

Uma Thurman's stalker Jack Jordan was convicted on two counts of stalking and harassing the star. He faces up to a year in jail. The Daily News puts the conviction on the front page, while the Post employs Andrea Peyser's special brand of moral outrage to report the verdict. Peyser tells us that Jordan sleeps on the street and that we should "Look for him on your doorstep in six months, movie fans!" The News might win for the creep factor, however, as the paper publishes an "exclusive photo" of Thurman emerging from her Village townhouse. Um, the woman's stalker was just convicted! Is it really in good taste to camp out in front of her home to get a reaction? Yeah, yeah, it's the media's job, but it's still unseemly. I'm just pointing out the irony.

The Post continues to beat its "Lindsay Lohan might have stolen a mink!" story into the ground. After yesterday's front-page declaration that Lohan is a "Hijacketer," the paper trots out paparazzi shots of Lohan on the night in question. She clearly starts out the night in a black coat and ends up in a blond fur coat, which Columbia student Masha Markova claims was her grandmother's. Markova got the coat back three weeks later after Markova's lawyer got in touch with Lohan's people. It appeared at the club where it went missing.

Meanwhile, the Post continues to cover the Yankee-Red Sox rundown, reporting that driver Ivonne Hernandez had a crush on Derek Jeter. (Stop the presses! No one ever likes Jeter!) The funniest part (well, as funny as vehicular homicide can get, which is definitely in the "not really" end of the spectrum) is that Hernandez wasn't a fan of Alex Rodriguez, and a neighbor tells the Post that she thought A-Rod was a "wuss." Hernandez was right: both papers report today that the Yankees third baseman fainted when his first child was born. His wife Cynthia appears on the YES network's YESterdays program tonight. She says that during the birth:

" The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head. The other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm. And my mother was like rubbing his back. And he is passed out on a couch. And I am there, in the middle of labor."

Sounds like typical A-Rod, never wanting to be away from the center of attention. What a diva!

more: Tabloided

comments

Lindsay Lohan Steals $11,000 Fur Coat

Lindsay's done this before (to Lauren Hastings)

judiciaryreport.com/lindsay_lohan_steals_fur_coat.htm

Posted by: tjr at May 7, 2008 1:00 PM

I stumbled across your article and I have to say as a writer, I wish I could right with as much humor as you do!

Keep it up.

Posted by: rockyack at May 7, 2008 5:55 PM

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