Josh,

What a great service you just performed for all the pros and non-pros out there. I imagine a lot of cutting and pasting of your words into e-mails, or the forwarding of links to this article, going out across the country right now. You may be responsible for stopping hundreds of stress-related myocardial infactions and ruffled feathers, and saving thousands of friendships.

Now that we're so close, I have this script I'd like you to read....

Hey Josh,

Who did you give your first script to read at the time?

Just kidding.

Thanking you on my bare knees. I have already memorized the exact URL of this page.

Karel

This sounds more like one of the Onion editorials than the work of an actual writer worth reading.

Hey Josh,

Who did you give your first script to read at the time?

Just kidding.

Thanking you on my bare knees. I have already memorized the exact URL of this page.

Karel

I'm a professional writer. The help I got from other writers when I was breaking in is why I read new writers now.

What an inflated sense of self Mr. Olson has!

this is a great article, and a service to many.

the other John B. misses the point. Professional writers, even ones breaking in, act like professional writers. you can turn them down and you are not being a dick because they understand you've determined there is nothing in it for you as a professional to read their material. they don't feel you owe it to them as a friend. they believe that sooner or later someone will be impressed with them enough as a person -- with their intelligence, dedication, knowledge of the film biz or what have you -- to invest a bit of time to find out if their writing is equally impressive. Huge difference between that and asking me to read your script, via my mother, because you happen to be her hairdresser.

I won't see your fucking movie.

Hi Josh,

So imagine you're a newbie screenwriter who's desperately insecure. You've somehow managed to set up a relationship with a working professional.

How would you ask him to ready your stuff? There has to be some perfectly polite way to ask someone to read a screenplay without him feeling forced.

I don't care if you read anybody's script, but for the love of god, get a new photo. You look like a rectum with eyeglasses.

Why can't he just politely say "No, I can't read anything right now," instead of going off on such a dick rant?

Folks,

Well...if there's a movie to see...Mr. Olson certainly did his job already. Nicely done.

If Mr. Olson's comments offend...there's a simple question to ask yourselves. Whatever it is you currently get paid to do...whatever you consider your profession...whatever pays your rent and puts food on your table...would you stop in the middle of your day and take two hours of that work time...and do the exact same thing FOR FREE because someone asked you to?

Because that is what Josh is being asked to do.

He's a professional screenwriter. He's only asking to be treated as one. Screenwriters seldom are.

Oh...and don't forget to rent or buy THE HILLS RUN RED, out September 29th from Warner Home Video.

Written by David J. Schow.

History of Violence sucked. A lot.

Here's a strategy all for you bitter little screenwriter wannabes hating on Josh.

Make friends with a professional screenwriter and if you're interesting and generous and not too annoying, maybe, just maybe, that professional will OFFER to read your shitty, pathetic script. And by then, hopefully, you will be mature and thankful for brutally honest criticism.

Until then learn the craft, ya big babies. Yer my hero, Josh!

HankG

Josh, you have nailed it square on the head.

More to the point, this applies to many people in many professions. To you critics of Mr. Olsen's position, would you go up to a doctor at a party and say "Would you mind looking at this rash"? Or asking an IT person at that same party if they can help with your computer problems? A lawyer for legal advice?

(Actually, from some of the whining, I'd bet you would)

It's still rude & inconsiderate of you to do so. Don't do it. Don't be the dick.

Well said, Mr. Olsen. Well said.

I feel such sympathy for you, Josh. It must be so very painful to have to deal with this kind of shit. You poor man.

Hmm...

"Josh Olson's screenplay for the film A History of Violence was nominated for the Academy Award, the BAFTA, the WGA award and the Edgar."

ADAPTED screenplay. ADAPTED from the graphic novel written by John Wagner, who created Judge Dredd, so is clearly a talented writer. If Olson had written it himself, sure, but all he did was adapt the graphic novel work done by someone else.

A little too much of an ego on this guy. Maybe if it were David S. Goyer, or Nolan, or another consistently talented movie writer, then the view might stand.

I'm a software engineer by day (27 years), writer by night/weekends (9 scripts - 1 produced) and people ask me all the time to fix their Windows systems.

I used to help people because I want to be a nice guy and I know more than 99% of the people on the planet about technology, but after a while I got sick and tired of dealing with doing free work on my own (limited) time.

My new response to that request is "Get a Mac."

I too have become a dick. And you dear public/friends/family have made me such.

Good article. Yes, he might sound like an asshole...but an asshole with good points.

Josh Olson is a giant douche who cannot go a minute without mentioning his oscar nomination (for a script a lot of people think the director rewrote) or how much money he makes. It's nauseating.

He also has no movies in development even close to getting off the ground -- he's crapped out a couple times.

That said, I did like his draft of Halo.

Ring Ring Ha Ha Hey Hey

BRAVO! I am a professional, working screenwriter and I couldn't have said it better. I forward this to my boyfriend, also a successful screenwriter, and my screenwriting partner. You nailed it Josh. Down with the haters, they're either bitter or don't understand.

Josh failed to mention the other group of people out there: the ones who think they need an agent first, and then they will write their manifesto. I always tell them, if you write something worth a damn, you'll have 10 a-hole agents banging at your door.

Would Josh be pissed if a friend wrote a screenplay and purposely DIDN'T show it to him?

And asking a doctor friend for opinion is not the same because doctors, you know, MATTER.

The only thing I got from that article was that Olson wanted to dip his script...in that "dick's" girlfriend. Are we really that passive aggressive?

I'm a lawyer and people always ask me for advice, and I always offer them what I can, yes sometimes people are dicks but karma is a bitch, don't read my fucking script but maybe one day I won't read yours.

Uh, wasn't History of Violence a comic book?

Uh, wasn't History of Violence a comic book?

Mr Olson pointedly does not mention his own salad days because I suspect in addition to being a dick he'd also have to cop to being a hypocrite.

I've also gotten plenty of the "hey, do mind reading this..?" over the years and learned early on to inquire if they have taken any steps to learn the craft. After that, I try to be as generous to them as others were to me when I was first starting out.

BTW - I love all the intellectually dishonest apples to oranges comparisons, the "would you ask a doctor at a party.." Well, if I was a new resident doctor and ran into a specialist at a party who could weigh in on a recent troubling case, then you're damn right I would.

Josh Olson is a self-important douchebag. Everyone in Hollywood knows it. He got high and mighty after his Oscar nom, which he would have shared with Cronenberg if the arbitration process worked well, and it didn't take long for most of the town to realize he was a hack. Now he's a professional grouch, spending all his waking moments living in denial.

But I agree with everything he said. Stop trying to make me read your scripts.

I'm not a professional screenwriter, but I've been writing scripts and reading other people's scripts for 10 years. You don't need to be a professional to be pissed when you take hours to offer someone who can't write constructive feedback, and they respond by telling people you're a dick.

Asking a lawyer or doctor for an opinion is a little different than asking someone to read a script.

If I'm at a dinner party, I can eat up a lawyer's time for 15 minutes and ask for his advice.

Reading a script is different. Aside from the initial 15 minute party conversation between wannabe and professional, the pro now needs to find two hours to put aside to read the script. Then he needs another hour or two to put his thoughts together and write out his notes. Or go out to lunch with the person to share his opinion. The invested time is at least four hours.

Imagine that 5 people a week ask the favor to read their script. That's a twenty hour investment. A person in Josh's position can very easily find himself with that type of burden. Now it becomes a part-time job, taking away private and personal time.

Is Josh being a dick or not? I can't say. But I do feel his pain.

The amount of offended entitlement being spewed in Josh Olson's direction for stating what is, simply, a fact of the professional writing life serves as perfect illustration of why so many writers refuse to read the works of slight acquaintances. The many clever ripostes to the effect that he's an asshole, or that History of Violence sucked, or that his career is going nowhere, demonstrate even if arguable (I believe not), the willingness to throw a tantrum and nothing else. The points he made would be equally valid coming from your favorite writer, whoever that might be, at the height of that worthy's achievement. The point is that {generic screenwriter} does not owe you, {generic wannabe}, his professional services for free, and that unless you are a close friend and colleague he is willing to do this service for, you are asking for more than you think.

But if you seriously believe that Josh Olson is a douchebag for saying so, I know a great way to show him up for the asshole he is.

Seriously. Remember Steve Martin explaining how you can have a million dollars and never pay taxes? He began, "First, get a million dollars..."

Same basic idea. First, go write a screenplay. Get a major director interested in it. Get it produced. Get nominated for an Oscar for it. Build a career. And then, since refusing to help wannabes is such a dick move by your lights, agree to do editing work for every brother-in-law-of-your-plumber who has a great idea for a movie about a kid who discovers his parents are aliens. Prove Josh Olson is a douchebag by giving freely of your time, to all comers. I await your superior example.

Josh is a self-hating Jew who only got into show biz by dropping to his knees and doing what he does best - sucking.
I wouldn't let you read my grocery list, you untalented hack.
Get an idea, write something good and then you can comment. Until then, stick with your other loser friends who think you have talent because nobody, and I mean NOBODY else thinks you do.
Now jump in your BMW and go to therapy.

Josh, you are my new hero.

Funny and true, but basic English grammar is also needed: viz., Olson writes: "...in fact, you who is the dick...." Please, please. It is, in English, "...in fact, you who are the dick..." As in, "You are a dick," not You is a dick." Fats Waller of course, "Is you is, or is you aint may babee..." a fun song, and deliberately saying"...you is." Well, think about that 1st grade kind of conjugation. And Olson gets paid as a writer? Hmmnn. That should be reconsidered after having been thought upon.... to use an Elizabethan turn....

I'd love to switch lives with someone whose biggest gripe is getting screenplays handed to him. Boo f'ing hoo.

He's right.

Why should anyone take at least 3 hours of his life to read something he knows will probably be pretty bad in the first place.

I believe in charity, but....

take it off! take that demo tape off!

Full disclosure: I've met Mr. Olson once, very briefly. I side with him on this. He took a great deal of time and effort to provide assistance to a total amateur. The amateur, instead of thanking Mr. Olson profusely, threw a temper tantrum. A total lack of class that makes those of us who take this seriously as a profession and a craft look bad.

"ADAPTED screenplay…"
Casablanca, The Godfather, and L.A. Confidential were also all ADAPTED screenplays. Having read the original graphic novel, there are some brilliant sequences and smart thematic choices that are entirely invented by Olson.

He would not have been hired by Peter Jackson to write "Halo" if he was a hack. The collapse of "Halo" no more makes him a hack than it does Jackson; it collapsed because the two studios couldn't figure out how to share profits.

If a professional *offers,* unsolicited, to read your material--which they may well do once they have determined, to their satisfaction, that you're serious about the craft--then you can send you their script. Until then, don't be surprised if they turn you down.

I'm a professional editor...

No I won't edit your fucking acting reel. No I won't add titles to your fucking webisodes, no I won't cut a corporate presentation video.

I feel you, and will be forwarding this link onto many many friends who consider themselves "writers".

This article is a breath of fresh air. I will now feel less guilt over neglecting to give my free professional service to anyone that asks. Or maybe will send a bill!

Also, whoever is trying to diminish Josh for writing an academy award winning ADAPTED screenplay has no idea what they're talking about. In no way is writing an adapted screenplay an easier feat than writing an original.

Alas, it's come to this. Picasso? Dear, misguided, pompous scribbler: you're a fucking screenwriter. The name and work of Picasso should never be mentioned in the same sentence with ANYTHING to do with the screen trade except in a juxtaposition that compares crappy to quality art. A real writer recognizes the hazards of arrogance. Read Shakespeare, fella and, for goodness sake, get a big ice bag and reduce your swelled head.

Who is John Olson, and why did he spend his precious heartbeats writing this? Why did I spend mine reading it?

I don't know you, but I love you.

You nailed it.

From now on, with the 10 requests I must get a day to read someone's script, I will forward this story to them.

Graci, kisses and looking forward to the Lehan film.

"tom deedy", fuck off. Way to decry arrogance one sentence after youself being an arrogant prick about your imagined deficiencies of the "screen trade." Shakespeare would kick you in the balls while Picasso teabags you.

As for the rest of you thin-skinned whiners, way to strengthen the stereotype of writers as bitter socially-inept assholes. Josh wrote the article with a tongue-in-cheek tone and you guys completely missed the joke.

If you have a script, you better ask anyone and everyone to read it, whether they're a massively self-aggrandizing tool like this guy or a generous mentor.

In fact, if you're a wannabe screenwriter you should go out of your way to pester a-holes like this until they say yes, just to let them know you're not going away any time soon.

Here's the point. I'll bet you a million bucks that Mr. Olson asked other writers who weren't "good friends" to read his screenplays when he was breaking in.

He's not a doctor at a party. He's a guy who got in the helicopter and pulled up the ladder after him.

What the living hell do any of you self-entitled douchebags think that any stranger owes you simply because he is also happens to be a writer -- with the important difference that he is a professional one who is paid for his work and time, unlike any of you who wouldn't even consider offering to pony up for such a service. Enjoy crawling over each other in the Valley of Obscurity, losers.

though it behooves me to add that "The History of Violence" was a laughably bad movie with atrocious dialogue. Like a David Mamet parody (which, it occurs to me, would be indistinguishable from a David Mamet script).

Al Swearengen, speaking of balls, use your real name, tough guy! Wanna tangle with me? Bring a few friends. Alligator mouth and a chipmunk ass.

He's right.

After reading this I took the two screenplays I have been working on for the last year and deleted them from my hard drive.

Swearengen, use your real name, tough guy!

Oh God, I loved it! THANK YOU! I'm a songwriter, and it's EXACTLY the same scenario in my world. I'm handed a CD, the "artist" tries to casually toss off - "Tell me what you think!". I say, "not a good idea - you've invested time, money (your life!) into this, if I criticize it, you can't change it - and you'll just lose confidence in what you've done and you'll hate me. And the comments will take hours of my time." If they hand it to me and say "enjoy", I may listen in my car (a multi-tasking luxury writers don't have!), If I love it I'll tell them. If I hate it I say nothing. But I often think I'd be doing them a favor to tell them, as John says, you should look for another way to express yourself.

Olson describes the screenwriter's story as follows: "Characters wander around aimlessly, do things for no reason, vanish, reappear, get arrested for unnamed crimes, and make wild, life-altering decisions for no reason." That sounds like Kafka's The Trial.

He then says: "Half a paragraph is devoted to describing the smell and texture of a piece of food, but the climactic central event of the film is glossed over in a sentence." That sounds like Virginia Woolf's To The Light House

"The death of the hero is not even mentioned. One sentence describes a scene he's in, the next describes people showing up at his funeral."
That sounds like much of Hemingway's and Faulkner's work in which the crucial moments and details are intentionally left out.

In other words, Mr. Olson anyone with an ounce of true talent or integrity as a writer would not be writing schlock Hollywood films like you and then spend many needless words publicly crushing someone's dreams. You will never write anything truly worth reading because you believe in "getting to the point." How very male and dickish and oppressive of you.

First off, HISTORY OF VIOLENCE is a brilliant, well-crafted script by someone at the top of his game. That doesn't mean Josh Olsen's a prick or a prince, but haters on his work are grasping at soap bubbles.

I think there are some simple truths that the naysayers are missing here, which a few previous posters pointed out. Reading a script and giving salient notes can take hours -- and Olsen's right when he says it uses up fuel needed to do your paid work. So, forget about the doctor analogy for a second (even though I agree with it). Would you ask a guy you met at a bar or a friend of a friend to help you move? Or to spend an evening babysitting your kids for free?

Now, add in the idea that you are going to be doing this favor for a relative stranger during a time when you could be making money at your chosen profession.

My biggest issue is something else Olsen touched upon -- people will give you scripts that are severely undercooked. You've agreed to take the time to read them, only to find massive syntax and grammatical errors. It's obviously a first draft, vomited out at a furious pace, and the writer is just desperate for feedback, but they haven't made even the slightest effort to rewrite and re-shape the draft. Maybe it's because the writer doesn't understand the process, but most times it feels like they just don't consider screenwriting a craft -- or your time truly valuable.

Some of you might say, "That's not every writer," but the truth is that -- from my experience and the experience of every working writer I know -- it's a shocking majority (I'd say, at least, nine of out ten... and that's being conservative). How many times does a screenwriter have to get burned before he's allowed to learn from his past efforts?

Damn. This is too long. I loved the article.

Nicely put!

I'm surprised by how many people in the comments are outraged by this.

I would say that it's perfectly reasonable to say no.

And, that there are people you ask, and people you don't.

And, that the key here, seems to be, if you're looking for a professional opinion, you need to be professional about it, which includes not being a goon if you hear something you don't like.

And, while I wouldn't ask a doctor at a party to look at my rash, if I was interested in being a doctor, I might ask them about how they found the process of being a doctor. But that's different than asking someone to do something that will take time outside of that meeting.

I have been known to ask other professionals for 15 minutes of their time over the phone if I have a question. Sometimes they say yes. Sometimes they say no. Either answer is totally acceptable.

Just one question - will you read my screenplay? :P

Haha. "Cad"

"This sounds more like one of the Onion editorials than the work of an actual writer worth reading."

Hey, Mr. Big Shot, nobody knows who the fuck you are anyway. You're not even a director. Nobody cares about how put upon you are by the millions of people chasing your otherwise anonymous ass.

A polite no is sufficient. I've worked with celebrities that are more far more accomplished and gracious than you'll ever be.

Absolutely love this article. Spot on. I'm in a similar area of creative work where I have strangers that suddenly feel the 1 minute of conversation I had with them suddenly opens the gates for me to give my professional opinion (a design service I normally charge a fee for professionally) for absolutely free since they're "only asking me to look it over".

At any rate, despite some of the obviously "Hey, I'm that guy you're making fun of" replies, great article.

Perfectly reasonable, you have no obligation to read anybody's anything.

May I suggest you remove the "fuck" and "dick" and just say "No, I won't read your work."

Dude -

You should be grateful that you wake up every day of your life with the success that you have. You should not be filled with as much angst or whatever is going on inside you. You should turn people away each time with the kindest manner possible. And you really to stop swearing. You are clearly not a common man. So why is it that you speak in such a common way.

Herbie J

Last thought --

I personally took the aggressive language and approach as a form of satire, in the vein of Jonathon Swift's "A Modest Proposal."

Clearly I have no idea what he meant, but it was so over-the-top, I figured it was a comic choice.

I have made my way through a long career WITHOUT needing to spew the inflated and deluded angst which Josh Olsen feels the necessity to put forth here. Oh, the piles of screenplays he must or must not read. Oh, the neophyte with no talent who beg for his wisdom. Give it a rest, Hollywood asshole number 1818. A simpler, more humane approach to other writers would suffice. Sure, THE PUBLIC doesn't understand how it is for THE PROS like Josh Olsen. I have observed assholes like Josh Olsen throughout my career. I will not read his fucking shit AGAIN.

Truth: If someone can talk you out of being a writer, you're not a writer. If I can talk you out of being a writer, I've done you a favor, because now you'll be free to pursue your real talent, whatever that may be. And, for the record, everybody has one. The lucky ones figure out what that is. The unlucky ones keep on writing shitty screenplays and asking me to read them.

Last thought --

I personally took the aggressive language and approach as a form of satire. It was meant to be over-the-top, like Jonathon Swift's "A Modest Proposal."

But that's just my opinion.

And if Josh Olsen is like any of the rest of us writers, he WILL continue to read just because he may find the next great thing on one of those pages...

Wow. Who do we blame in the business for reading Josh Olsen's script and giving him a career. I hope he has good friends, he'll need them on the way back down.

I know Jonathan Swift and this asshole is not John Kennedy, either. He'll also never look like Brad Pitt no matter how many days growth are slapped over his incredibly ugly mug I never would have noticed in a million years if he hadn't written such a stupid imitation of other hideous creatures with a small penis like the jerk whose publicist got his "book" into the Times the other day & whose name I've quickly forgotten, too.
They all make Neil Strauss look like Adonis and read like Shakespeare in comparison. Thank you for bringing him to my attention. I will never spend one cent on any piece of shit his name is attached to in the future. And thanks to the wonder of the modern Village Voice, I didn't have to this time, either! You get what you pay for. Up yours, chump! I wouldn't LET you wash my car. Or anything else. For that, I get a real pro.

"I did more rewrites on that fucking e-mail than I did on my last three studio projects."

While I am not a professional, I know the feeling.

Great article!

I laughed, I cried, I identified.

He said yes when he meant no.

He said yes, welched, and concluded the other party is the dick.

What an a-hole.

I've been making my full-time living as a novelist for 21 years. Josh Olson's article is so on-target, and his anecdote so familiar and typical of the experiences of working novelists, too, that I've already shared this link with many, many other professional novelists--because the problem he talks about here is one that we talk about all the time, too.

We are CONSTANTLY asked to read people's manuscripts. If we say "no," then we're treated as selfish jerks. If we say "yes" and give feedback, then we're treated as insensitive jerks--and we've also wasted a LOT of our time and energy on something we didn't want to do in the first place.

There's really only one solution to this, and that's for aspiring writers to STOP ASKING.

You will NEVER meet an experienced professional writer who DOESN'T know that you'd like him to read your unpublished/unsold work. So all you have to do is mention that it exists. If he thinks it's a good idea, HE will offer.

In most cases, though--at least in the publishing industry--it's NOT a good idea. I've sold 25 novels, and no one in the industry cares if -I- like your book. What matters is whether the editors (and agents) to whom you submit your work in a professional manner like it. NOTHING ELSE is relevant--certainly not another writer's opinion of the work.

Does this clown realize he wrote A History of Violence and not the Godfather.

The guy is a just an asshole who can't take 5 minutes to read a 2 page fucking screenplay for a friend.

And he's bragging about this? And you people are saying this article is great? What a joke.

Go fuck yourself Josh Olsen, you holier than thou piece of shit.

And for the record, A History of Violence was a mess of a movie that was only held together by Viggo and the fantastic cast which I'm sure this dumb jew had nothing to do with.

Hey Screenwriters,

Tired of Josh turning you down? Let me read your script and give you honest, professional feedback.

No, not for free. Are you insane?! ;)

www.screenplaymechanic.com

Jascha, he changed the article to comply with your entirely incorrect grammar complaint. The sentence should remain "that it is, in fact, you who is the dick in this situation" not "you are the dick" because the subject of the clause is 'it' not 'you'; 'you' describes 'it' (it...is the dick). Plus, 'you who are the dick' is clearly awkward and clunky. With this fragment, subject and verb do not agree. It could be 'you who are dicks', but 'who are the dick' is never right.

I also would like to know who he gave his first script to. It's a fair question.

INFECTED was sheer shit by the way.

Loved the article overall.

I also would like to know who he gave his first script to. It's a fair question.

INFECTED was sheer shit by the way.

Loved the article overall.

INFESTED - whatever.

The entire reason the hopelessly overpuffed Mr. Olson wrote this article is so that he could brag to us that he has a great big stack of stuff from his agent by his bed. Josh, the really good and honest piece of writing would have been a column about that secret little frisson of pride and pleasure you feel when somebody asks you to read their script. Nobody as publicly dishonest as you are can be any good as a writer.

How about "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm very busy and can't read your script. I wish you the best of luck with it." PERIOD.

ROFLMAO!!!

Says the guy who writes shit scripts anyway. You do realize - History of Violence was a terrible movie.

I don't want you to read my script. I'd rather Sorkin, because you're a hack douche with bad glasses.

I say, have the character to tell people face-to-face why you are or are not a "dick," why they are or are not a "dick" for taking or not taking your doubtlessly sagacious advice and consider finding a courteous vernacular in which to do it. Don't write a rant on a blog about it.

And don't be afraid to crush people who ask for it. If I tell a linebacker in the NFL that I'm considering becoming a professional running back, and I want his opinion... well, I get what I deserve, n'est-ce pas?

He will not read your script because it keeps him from writing such screen classics as "Puppy Love" and "Invasion of the Killer Bugs".

I guess if the opinion of the Art Dept PA on the 1987 classic "Masters of the Universe" matters then I should go fuck myself with my script. See you in hell loser.

PS - You adapted a comic book Josh. You didn't write a film. Ouch.

Here's one for you, Josh --

If you can talk yourself out of reading other people's scripts -- THEN YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING WRITER!!!!

Btw -- the scripts I've read from you, are honest-to-God fucking dreck.

Whoever you sucked off in order to launch your career - man, you must give a mean blowjob.

Why would I want Josh Olson to read my script?

I'd rather Stu Beattie, Aaron Sorkin or some other "professional"

Who the fuck is this moron, anyway? He adapted a fucking comic and wrote some D-grade horror movie.

Why would I want Josh Olson to read my script?

I'd rather Stu Beattie, Aaron Sorkin or some other "professional"

Who the fuck is this moron, anyway? He adapted a fucking comic and wrote some D-grade horror movie.

Why would I want Josh Olson to read my script?

I'd rather Stu Beattie, Aaron Sorkin or some other "professional"

Who the fuck is this moron, anyway? He adapted a fucking comic and wrote some D-grade horror movie.

First of all, suck it with your "dumb jew" comment, Jaysin420. Go stuff your face back into your bong, and then blame your lack of success in life on everyone else.

As for Mr. Olson, I think he's overreacting to a single douchebag encounter. I have asked others to read, and been asked to read myself. If something's terrible, I do what Olson did -- find a way to be honest without crushing the reader. Most people, even in receiving a "bad" review, will graciously thank the reader, and recognize the awkward position the reader was put in. This guy was curt, and rude.

However, as to the "I won't read your fucking script" manifesto -- and to all the agreeing comment-writers, "Yeah, we're pros! Leave us alone!" my responsne is, get over yourselves. It's the price of success. You were a new writer once, too. Give someone a read. If you tell them, "there's some good stuff in here, but it needs a lot of work," they can take it for what they will.

I thought "no" means "yes"

Ah, great. So Josh, will you read my script.

Thanks, man. Jews are the best.

I saw Josh Olson at a WGA event, talking about History of Violence. He seemed like an asshole with a big chip on his shoulder. Nice to see that now he's an asshole with an inflated ego.

The other guy sounds like an asshole too.

Fuck 'em both.

So Josh - since when did shitty screenwriters start comparing themselves to Picasso?

Fuck, dude. Get a life.

Sometimes, really weak people have a hard time saying no. Often, such weak people have a hard time communicating with others in person, and as such they are typically soft-spoken and reserved until they hit a breaking point. This sounds like Josh.

It makes sense that a person who is apt to fall into this communication trap might turn into an incredible writer. For him, the stress of communicating honestly is so great, that it results in retreating to a world of books, screenplays, movies, and other texts. Once the patterns of good writing become obvious, it becomes possible (though not necessaily easy) to conjure up works that match the stylized conventions of contemporary and Western storytelling.

In this case, the stress of communication from a weka and sensitive person resulted in many drafts of an email meant to soften the blows of his critique of a particularly amateurish synopsis. After so much time spent, and the receipt of a notification of a subsequent draft, Josh just loses it and writes this essay for the Voice.

While the essay is pretty hilarious, and there is some sad truth to it, in the final analysis, Josh was a dick to both the novice/amateur writer and himself by agreeing to read the synopsis in the first place.

There is no rule of etiquette (despite Josh's rather aggressive suggestion by dint of this essay that there should be) that a person ought not solicit the advice or opinion of a professional friend or acquaintance. It was completely within reason and completely appropriate for the novice writer to request, and completely appropriate for Josh to decline. Any excuse would have done the trick.

It is quite rude (and seems like a form of sophomoric revenge against the novice writer and his girlfriend for spreading a rumor that Josh engaged in a "dick move") to discuss the issue in a forum as public as the Village Voice. Shame on you, Josh. As a writer (a student of character), you should know better. Grow up, grow a set of balls, and learn how to tell someone that their writing is no good (with all the sympathy and care of Mother Teresa in your voice). Hmm, I could have been more ympathetic to you, Josh... But you really don't deserve it. You're clearly a major dick -- just because you couldn't say no (in a nice way).

So "it never hurts to ask"...unless you ask a sensitive screenwriter who will then wank publicly about how you made him feel like an asshole by asking?

On the other hand he's right; most people who think they can write screenplays are severely deluded. And I'm a published blogger, so I KNOW.

I'm not a professional writer. I am a professional reader. And I love this article. Whenever a friend-of-a-friend asks me to read their script, I cringe. Invariably, they don't really want to know what I think -- especially when they have outlandish dreams of finding Hollywood glory even though they're an amateur writer. My heart goes out to them, but... they never take the news well when I try to gently explain that their script: (a) isn't up to professional snuff; (b) isn't as original as they seem to think it is; and/or (c) would rate a PASS from me if it was submitted at work. Instead, I often receive second-hand word back that: (a) I don't know what I'm talking about; (b) I'm wrong; and/or (c) who the hell am I to judge them. Needless to say, the more hopeless the would-be-writer is, the worst they take the news. Ugh.

Hey Josh!

Who READ your first script? You know, the one that launched you as an A-grade hack.

Hey Josh,

Can you read my screenplay?

Kind Regards,
Your High School English Teacher.

I knew this guy 25 years ago. He's still a dick.

If you don't ask - you won't get.

If I ask Josh to suck my cock, maybe he'll say yes. I heard he's a good cocksucker.

Well, at least by Hollywood standards.

Oh, and btw...the sentiment of and the actual sentence, "I will not read your fucking screenplay" DEFINES "HATING."

So yes, I hate on that.

You know who else in Hollywood calls his critics "Haters?" Michael Bay. He's like Picasso too....

Ditto to what JaySin420 said.

This guy acts like he's a Scorseze summoning Picaso LMAO! What a ball of ham this guy is. Picasso for fucks sake! LMAO!!!

Hey Joshy, take your issues to therapy pal maybe you won't use space in the Voice to bat everyone over the head with your pompous hostility. Your writing is barely readable in this short trite crap peice and I learned nothing from it except that you are a self-important asshat. Your opinion isn't all that important brah. The guy would have LIVED if you gave him a little negative feedback. You think you are much more important than you are, much like most of the human feces in LA think they are "Celebs" and think much higher of their own skills than everyone else does.

Joshy is a hero in his own mind.

All you have to do is say sorry I am tied up with a lot of scripts right now. Get over yourself. I have no idea who this loser is and I certainly wouldn't go see anything he made now. He's another one of millions of herd who want to be rockstars but are nobodies.

WAITER: "Is everything OK with your meal?"
MR. OLSON: "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, ASSHOLE?!"

If there's any truth to the adage that you should write what you know, Olson's next script should be entitled, "That Big Fucking Chip On My Shoulder."

Loved it. I even understood what you meant about recognizing a poor writer after reading a single sentence.

LMAO!!!! --> "He will not read your script because it keeps him from writing such screen classics as "Puppy Love" and "Invasion of the Killer Bugs".

He adapted a comic book and he's talking about Picasso! LMAO!!!!

Would it kill this assface to shave his mug so it doesn't look like an actual anus with hair?

All he did was confess to what a socially inept asshole he is. Writing about your personality disorder is hardly "writing" bucko.

This is so spot-on it hurts.

Whether or not Mr. Olson is a jerk is completely irrelevant. It seems everyone now has a script or a story idea they think is fantastic. AND THEY ARE NOT. And yes, I do work in "the Industry" and I've been places/parties/bbqs here in LA resoundly ignore me until they find out where I work and that I can "help" them. Suddenly I'm the life of the party. Ugh. And no one wants to hear a honest opinion, they want to hear that they and their script are the most wonderful things ever. And if I ever DARE to respond with less than that, suddenly I'm the worst person ever. Trust me, there are other things that make me that.

I also have to agree that all the people on here saying Mr. Olson is a hack, etc. etc. are revealing themselves to be the people he's talking about. Here's the deal people: no one owes you anything. Sucks, right? Life isn't fair. But here's the bright side - if your script is actually great someone somewhere will buy it and make it. But there are NO SHORTCUTS. Unless of course you are the child/nephew/whatever of a Studio head. Other than that, you're on your own.

Maybe you should have gotten someone to read _The Infested_ before you made it into a film, eh?

He makes a lot of sense. But playing the devil's advocate - He has a lot of balls acting like that - especially since the screenplay he wrote was based on a comic already written. He didn't have to come up with plot, characters or setting - nope just translate a graphic novel to a screenplay - A GRAPHIC NOVEL - IT'S ALREADY FUCKING STORY BOARDED for him - John Wagner did all the work- it wins an academy award and suddenly he's a genius - He is an ass - a conceited, pompous ass. I don't need him to read my fucking screenplay. I need him to take the Kurt Cobain Diet and go straight to hell.

Gee He writes a screenplay for a graphic novel - it's been written, storyboarded and all he did was change a few scenes for film. What an ass.

I am a novice screenwriter who sort of got thrown into writing a screenplay for a film project of a few friends. As a novice screenwriter I do need feedback on what I'm writing so I understand wanting a professional opinion. After reading this, though, I totally get what Josh is saying and wouldn't trouble a professional unless he was a close friend. He makes a totally logical argument which has yet to be convincingly rebutted by any of his strident naysayers. I see mostly ad hominems and non sequiters ("I won't see your fucking movies").

I'm probably a bad writer, but at least I'm not an idiot.

Thanks for the advice, Josh. Some of us do appreciate the candor.

Laura (and Josh),

Here's the way to get people to stop asking you to read their stuff.

I'm a published author (by major houses). I get people sending me their manuscripts all the time on the most tenuous of connections (friend of a friend I don't even remember).

This is what I say:

Wow! How nice of Jane to refer you to me. I didn't know she knew I had a critique business on the side! I charge $150 an hour. Let me know if you want to proceed.

I never hear back.

Turns out someone doesn't want to read Olson's fucking script either (David Cronenberg!)

http://hollywoodroaster.wordpress.com

I think this is a classic situation where the smarmy tone of Olsen's argument -- combined with an poorly chosen parallel with Picasso -- have eclipsed some absolute truths contained in the article.

1) There's a difference between a burgeoning writing talent and a person who asks you to read a sloppy rough draft that hasn't received any rewriting, polish or even simple spellcheck. Writers run into 100 times more of the latter.

2) The idea that it "doesn't hurt to ask" is kind of incomplete. Asking someone to read something you've thrown together is disrespectful to their time.

3) I've had people thank me for critical comments, but more often, I've had people get very defensive when I didn't scream masterpiece. I think writers want to help other writers, but it's a very deflating feeling when you've offered up your time, only to receive a cold response.

Having said all that, it is important to learn to smile, say you're too busy and accept that the person is going to think ill of you. They're chasing a dream, you're living one. Everything has a price.

Who is this jerkoff?

Dude, get a shrink and some medication. It's called grandiose behavior from a bipolar, and just because you are an untreated bipolar does not mean you are not a loser. Learn some social skills and maybe you won't write such negative trash like this with bad vibes that brings bad vibes to the Voice. Go fuck yourself and keep your shit writing in that pocket of trash armpit LA.

And for all of you who think he's a dick for not just doing someone a favor/how the hell did he get a leg up without someone doing him one:

I became a published author after studying the craft, taking workshops, joing critique groups and saving my money to pay for professional critisim.

I never got a freebe. No one is owed that. If you really want to be a professional, you work hard, study and pay your dues.

Everyone seems to think he/she can write because they write grocery lists and emails every day.

It's not the professional writer's responsibility to have to deal with them.

Grow up.

"Turns out someone doesn't want to read Olson's fucking script either (David Cronenberg!)"

http://hollywoodroaster.wordpress.com/

"Turns out someone doesn't want to read Olson's fucking script either (David Cronenberg!)"

http://hollywoodroaster.wordpress.com/

"You are not owed a read from a professional, even if you think you have an in, and even if you think it's not a huge imposition. It's not your choice to make. This needs to be clear--when you ask a professional for their take on your material, you're not just asking them to take an hour or two out of their life, you're asking them to give you--gratis--the acquired knowledge, insight, and skill of years of work."

What a fucking drama queen. How terrible for Josh that forever swirling around him are these artistic vampires, attempting to drain away his carefully conserved, precious bodily fluids without just compensation.

So, here's the test of whether serious, or a dick: Pay him. Offer the professional his standard hourly rate to read and critique - in writing - your script. If Josh's too busy doing other work (which doesn't appear to be the case, since he has time for this eructation), so be it. But if he turns down hard cold cash to essentially, write a review - well, that's not very professional, is it?

"Maybe you should have gotten someone to read _The Infested_ before you made it into a film, eh?"

I even wonder if writing an adaption of anything is more difficult than starting from scratch!

Not a screenwriter but a published author and Lord have mercy, I have to agree with Josh on this one cuz baby I have read some dreck. Some fucked up dreck from people who not only had no basic command of the English language, but who didn't even possess the redeeming quality of being semi-decent storytellers--which yes, is sometimes spottable even in the most unpolished work.

Sorry you're getting flamed; you're my new hero.

Got it, you won't read my fucking script. But how about my over-shirt-tit-squeeze script?

Village Voice you have published Pulitzer Prize winning stories on a relatively consistent basis. Please continue to do that.
This is not a story, satire, or any kind of insightful column. Please refrain from publishing things that do not have a point outside of self-important dickery.

A man with a beard is a man with a secret . . . Maybe his is that he is secretly reading them. A fun piece, and I'm with him some of the way. The best writers need to just get on with it and do the damned job; encouragement and support are both great, but unless it arrives in your bank/moral/emotional account (whatever is your preferred currency), it means bugger all. Writers WRITE, first and foremost; their job is not to chatter away about the subject. So he won't read your fucking script? Fine. You could have written another in the time it took you to fume about his feature.

"I am a professional reader."

I hope you sent Josh a bill

One last thought:

The only thing more amusing then this puffed up poppinjay's superiority complex, is robotic 'you go, Josh' murmurs of those desperate to include themselves in the fraternity of cool kid 'professionals'.

'Cause you just know each and every one of those nobs thinks him/herself the exception, birthing that one script Josh-just-has-to-read-he'll-love-it.

I'm a doctor. I don't mind when someone asks me for a "curbside" at a party/other social event, etc. However, I can't imagine anyone ever expecting me to squeeze them into my schedule, in my office, do a "new patient visit" (which I would have to do, no matter what the issue). This is time I could be billing for actual patients. Why should I do it?

If I want to donate time, I do so at the free clinic to people who really need it. If you're just too cheap to pay for a service you want, but expect me to essentially pay for it (by using time I would otherwise get paid for), tough.

This is completely analogous to writing. There are places to get critiqued for free or little pay. Use them, if you want. But, if you want a professional's opinion, pay for it.

What a pompous asshole. His one claim to fame is the equivalent of Banky in "Chasing Amy", tracing. He took source material that was good before he even put his hack fingers on it and did nothing special with that. Good job Josh, you're a winner.

"Village Voice you have published Pulitzer Prize winning stories on a relatively consistent basis. Please continue to do that.
This is not a story, satire, or any kind of insightful column. Please refrain from publishing things that do not have a point outside of self-important dickery." ty jon

After reading this, I can only think of one thing:

Boy, INFESTED really did suck.

Wow I can't believe all the negativity. This article was very tongue-in-cheek and fucking hilarious.

And also very true.

Studios and Indies both employ interns and assistants to read scripts. Send it to them, maybe (if you're lucky) they'll read more than 10 pages.

Fuck you. Your rewrite of a comic book sucked dick.

Got you loud and clear, Josh. I don't write scripts, but I am a multi-published novelist. Part of my "free" work is to give my time judging some comps with no charge, via writers organizations, so I do give something back. Most writers I know do. I also belong to a critique group of like-minded writers, and we exchange opinions on the others' work, and in as professional a manner as possible. Receiving unsolicited work and being expected to comment on it is a nuisance to a working writer, and if you take it on it can totally disrupt a writer's schedule, since there are only so many hours in a day. Writing a tea and sympathy report does test the writerly skills to the limit. The unpubbed writer who sends an unsolicited script may be unable to cope with criticism, but that's his problem. The professional writer shouldn't be blamed for any perceived insensitivity. Badly written is badly written. The phrase is straight, to the point and is offering someone a professional opinion, not an insult. We've all been there. Those who are willing to roll with the punches and learn their craft will carry on regardless and start growing an extra skin to cope with the slings and arrows of outrageous success.

Adding to everything Josh said (which is 100% true, and if you can't handle that, then professional writing is not for you), a lot of writers won't even look at the work of aspiring writers, for fear of later being accused of ripping them off.

Oh yeah? Then why'd you ask me to fix your fucking Mac last Christmas... dick.

Oh, and hey, and can I have the $2,700 bucks you said you'd loan me?

1. I'm an attorney. People ask me for legal advice at parties all the time. But you know what the difference is? When I tell them, "I don't know off the top of my head, I'd have to research it," they understand that I'm not going to answer their question. They don't then expect me to spend hours of my life figuring out their issue for them, gratis.

2. A lot of the anger in the comments seems to be based on an assumption that someone somewhere gave this guy his first break, and he's cheating other people by not doing the same for them now that he's on top. I wonder how true this is? Did someone read his first script and give him a break? Or did he work his way up doing other professional, paid writing gigs until he had cred and professionalism and a reputation, at which point his scripts were read through the usual, commercial chain? Is the idea that aspiring writers just need to get their script in front of the right eyes to jump start a career from scratch a plausible one? Or a myth?

3. To those criticizing grammar- popular conversational grammar is considered acceptable when writing in a popular, conversational style. This article is first person and conversational, and from the word "fucking" in the title I think we can conclude that its sufficiently informal to permit this sort of thing.

I found this by way of Twitter and actually, some people in the comic business, but it seems fair that this information should cross a few boarders. This was intriguing. It made me think about what I do, draw, and how for the time I was gearing or something not art based, how unhappy and inadequate it was for me, and how I'm happier with my intended focus, and the trepidation I have with asking for a true critique on my work. But I also seek to improve.

Cheers with your future endeavours. Thanks for this little bit of insight.

I totally agree.

The whiners have never been asked to waste their time on someone that hasn't bothered to spend time learning their craft.

For anyone to presuppose the they have any right to your time is preposterous. And to get pissed is just childish.

I don't go to their work and ask them to suck my dick for free so why should they be allowed to ask me to "punch up" their shitty writing.

Go learn some fucking grammar asshole...

I feel you bro'hamz!

Gunther Hammerbottom
Sr. Bkup. Asst. Ngt. Sht. Mgr.
Taco Bell #3953

Thank you for your honesty.

I'm an aspiring comic and I've been afraid to ask professional comics for their opinions on my clearly nascent work. I realize it is a huge imposition to them to tell the truth simply because so many people are incapable of hearing it.

I've only asked one comic for feedback for that exact reason and then only when I felt I was not imposing in him. I asked him permission to ask him and told him it was OK to say no. He was gracious and forth coming and told me a lot of things I needed to hear. For that I am forever in his debt.

Not ever would I think to force myself on someone and expect an honest response. It's basic civility and shows they have little to no social training. It's rude at its best.

Thank you for the wonderful and informative article.

I think most are bothered by his dickish atitude than the fact that he won?t read. No one likes an asshole.

The only reason anyone has a problem with this article is because the guy is an asshole. As anonymous says above "No one likes an asshole".

The only reason anyone has a problem with this article is because the guy is an asshole. As anonymous says above "No one likes an asshole".

As a professional screenwriter who also was once starting out, allow me to clarify to the angry commenters & nuggets that there are a handful of legit professional screenwriting groups & classes in LA where you pay to work in and receive professional feedback/instruction that will improve your screenwriting and script properties.

Coming in, you should fundamentally be a writer already, so if you are not, then learn the craft. Find a workshop that suits you and evolve your work/groundwork your stuff there. Through that instruction you will learn that approaching someone in this manner to read your script is ridiculous. The article is, indeed, spot on. There's no use in bugging the pros when your work isn't ready, and even then there are more useful business avenues. Now get to work already! If I could figure it out, so can you. This article just saved you a difficult lesson.

I'm not bothered at all that you'd say no to people. It's more than understandable.

But there are polite ways to turn people down that don't alienate folks who (although you won't believe it) may actually help you someday in some other aspect of your life. Your insistence on being an asshole is sad.

Josh,
This piece has made my day.

Just one question,
which professional did you have read your manuscript? :)

-Haley Shaver

After being in the business for almost twenty years, I completely relate to what Josh has to say. Would I say it in the same way? Yes, because I LOVE overstating things.

It gets people who are out of the loop to write tons of mean and hilarious responses.

People who want to be writers, write away, but please be aware that even before the dim circumstances at the moment, the chance of selling is low.

Pursue your dreams, but do not expect welcoming readers who are not assistants.

Brutal, but such is life.

Also, writing about what you perceive to be as Josh's unpleasant appearance is just lazy.

I am a fan of the straight truth -- no matter how ugly. It's not his fault. It is REALITY.

Invoking PICASSO? A guy who rewrote a COMIC BOOK is invoking PICASSO in an article about HIMSELF? Is this guy kidding? What a joke. PICASSO! LOL!!!! The thing about these LA nobodies is they ALL think they are SOMEBODY just because they live in close proximity to people who got rich for doing nothing but being brainless plastic trash. The writers there are vapid shallow losers who think they are more gods gift and so much more gifted than everyone else. They have inferiority complexes so they have something to prove and pretend they think they are so masterful and artistic. They think they are fooking people by fooling themselves. They forget not everyone is as stupid as they are. Hopefully one of those California fires will take out that LA sewer and rid the world of infected herpes scum like this loser lowering our talents expectations to bloated mediocrity like this shit. Our children have shit like this guy to look up to? Please!

RH Anyone who relates to ignorant drivel such as this crap article is of the same ilk and probabaly suffers from the same Bipolar fake grandiosity inferiority complex.

In case you haven't noticed the comments are not positive. Some people care about not being an asshole. Anyone who could inspire this much negative feedback must have stirred up bad vibes and negativity because they themselves are negative people with nothing to offer this world except their inner uglyness - which is clear from this article.

He is a dumpy looking fatass who looks like he needs to be hosed down with Pinesol and wash his filty hair and take a razor to that pubic hair on his unpleasant and very hard to look at face.

Its crazy that people are actually getting mad at this, its just crazy. HE ACTUALLY READ THE SYNOPSIS!!!!! HE ACTUALLY READ IT!

Im AMAZED AT THIS! HE READ IT!

I really cant believe that people would actually get mad at him for reading it, giving and HONEST criticism on the work, no wait...lets back up, TAKING THE THING IN THE FIRST PLACE! Spending time reading it, re-working his response, and then giving an honest criticism about it, and people are angry at him.....wow!

Well, i agree with it, but thats just me, lol. PEACE!

I am a script supervisor and I get asked ALL THE TIME to read people's scripts. I do that for a living. Read scripts. Correct them. The last thing I want to do on my free time is read another script.

However, I did ask a director friend to read one I wrote. He did. And he gave me honest feedback. I appreciated it very much.

SO.. coming from it from both sides, it's a tough one.

I can agree with this wholeheartedly and I really do like your stock response. It makes absolute sense. One of the things that has given me some insight into the professional world (albeit not screenwriting, it's RPG writing) is an article by Jess Hartley entitled "GenCon for Aspiring Writers". Now this is more for a convention setting but I think it can be applied to many situations. Well worth it to check things out.

I am available for script reading and evaluation, though I am a very slow reader. Quality over quantity every time. :)

You, sir, suck. You got where you are (by the way, not such a lofty place) because someone read your script and gave you a benefit of the doubt. You are a disgrace of the industry which you thankfully don't represent. Get some Prozac and crawl back under your rock already!

What great use of the word "fucking". And the repetition just made it sing. Well done!

PS - Write a book sometime, tough guy, then maybe I'll wade all the way through your fucking article.

All the writers getting shitty about this bit above are the ones that have already asked a bunch of people to read their script/story/etc. Now they just feel they need to defend the tom-dickery.

Ten years ago, I began seeking screenplays for my production company in Australia. Within weeks, I had stacks so high it would IMPOSSIBLE to read them all. Eventually, I stopped accepting unsolicited screenplays. A few years later, people still needed their screenplays read. The only way I could justify the time was to charge a service fee for the kind of feedback they wanted, so we launched a business that did just that.

Doctors and lawyers and other professionals who dish out advice are NOT the same as screenwriters. There's no way I can give you an HONEST assessment of the quality of your work without investing HOURS of time (unless it's terrible, and then I can tell you after one page).

Writers need to understand that asking someone -- ANYONE -- to read their script is the same as asking for TWO HOURS of their time. Asking for feedback is asking for FOUR HOURS of their time. I've spent over TWENTY HOURS figuring out how best to give feedback.

Whether you're asking an agent, production company, professional friend, actor... ANYBODY... to ready your screenplay, you're asking a MASSIVE FAVOR. Olson's analogy of asking a painter to paint your living room for free is a great analogy.

No, Josh Olson is NOT a dick for not reading your fucking script... no matter what you'd like to believe.

Well done, Josh! SUPERB article I'll be linking to often.

Josh,

I do get what you're saying. I occasionally write reviews (for myself and my tiny blog mostly) and I am invited to shows (theatre, concerts, etc.) of friends of my friends. I cannot tell you how many times I've gone with the eye towards writing a review of it only to realize that the friend's friend is horrific, or merely not so great, at least not enough to inspire me to write a review that won't lose me that friendship. So, I table it. It is so much easier to write a review or read a script when there is no personal attachment behind it.

I don't think you're a dick for establishing boundaries in regards to your professional life. As someone who considers herself a writer, let me say that a real writer will be incredibly grateful to hear "this is shit. Start over. You can do much better," if indeed that is the truth. It might just be what they know that themselves, and are waiting for someone to have the cojones to say it to them. That is so much better than the utter pablum most offer up by way of "criticism", which might be why he was hankering after your opinion so much. Shame he didn't have the ability to hear the opinion he asked for. If your refusal to read screenplays makes you a dick, so too does his refusal to listen to and appreciate your point of view make him a dick.

I took a class in college (a grad level course - I was allowed in due to my work's level and my grades) for which I wrote my first script. I got good encouragement in my class and when I ran into a professional screenwriter at my job, he was impressed enough by me to offer of his own volition to help me with my writing career. I took him up on it and he read my script and offered me ideas on how to make it even better. However, I pulled it because I was too busy working to survive to give the focus to my writing that it would need, and I felt I was unfairly using his time if I wasn't going to be serious about it. To me, there is nothing worse than abusing someone's time, especially when they could use that to make money for themselves.

I still have his emails with his advice and when I am ready and focused to work on it, I will. Then, perhaps if I'm lucky, he will still have the graciousness to indulge me with his commentary and criticism, but only then. And if he doesn't, I will fully understand.

I do sincerely hope that if you find a young man or woman who impresses you (and I believe a conversation can often tell you enough about a person's intelligence and communication style to at least get an idea of how they'd be as a writer), that you will offer of your own volition to read their screenplay. We all have to start somewhere afterall.

Thanks for this article.

D

I love you Josh!

I love you Josh!

I hate to break it to you, but as a screenwriter you are not even exactly qualified to speak about writing. For us legitimate writers (prose, poetry, drama) screenwriting has always been a way to make a few bucks. But even in your article, your writing is sloppy and cliche-ridden. Most importantly, what makes you a wanna-be, not a writer, is that you lack empathy and humanity. It's as simple as that. So stick to adapting picture books into motion pictures, kid!

Hey wait a minute, didn't somebody say the exact same thing about the script for A History of Violence, and it got made into a movie, a pretty lame ass movie.

And how many lame ass scripts get made into crappy movies that I wish I'd never wasted 120 minutes of my life on? Far too many for my taste. In fact, I should go back and sue everyone who took my money and gave me a bad movie in return, like a bad cantaloupe it's no good you take it back and get reimbursed along with a discount on your next purchase for taking up my valuable time. It would be a pretty nice chunk of cash that's for sure.

In a very very real sense, a large part of the moviemaking industry is about making valueless dreck that can be spoon marketed to anyone who is sucker enough to spend their money on it. And then some critics put their stamp on it so it sells, or years later somebody reevaluates it as a genius work.

Yeah right, what a joke business to be in, populated by conmen and rip off artists, a plethora of bottom feeders who pretend like they know "art" and will sell their souls to anyone with the cash. Smoke and mirrors baby, the old shell game.

(1) It sucks, (2) it sucks, (3) it's art,

place your bets! A winner every time!

*chuckle chuckle*

What an arrogant, narcissistic asshole! Shoulda had the balls to say no in the beginning. Instead whines about his wasted time in a very public forum.

What's so dickish about saying, "Sorry man, I'd like to read your script, but I just have so much going on, I can't"? That's way LESS dickish than having the Village Voice publish a (too long) article about it.

Josh Olson is clearly a loser.

And I thought I had a super-ego. What movies has he written again?

@Nick, you think the elements of structure and style don't go into a movie or comic? Just because the most expensive part or only essential part isn't the writing doesn't mean it's something someone who didn't get past fifth grade can do.

Would you compare Citizen Kane to the Da Vinci Code(one of the worst written novels I've ever attempted to read, I mean jesus a cliffhanger's only special when you don't use it every chapter)? There are plenty of things that make a bad movie, a stingy producer, bad SFX, a director who can't direct, miscast or bad actors, but the script is the goddamn foundation.

You could have the dream cast, a great director, wonderful support from the studio, a producer who knows how to get the job done, great costumes and lighting, but if you have a bad script your movie will still suck. As for poetry and drama, I'm sorry but those are less mainstream than comics or radio plays(see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), they can often be good but they're usually where the pretentious hide among their own kind.

Making the one hundred and nineteenth off-off-off-off Broadway(technically New Jersey) drama about AIDS in the 80s doesn't make you an artist. As for empathy, many good writers are notorious misanthropes JRR Tolkien wasn't exactly a champion of the people, Lovecraft was an antisemitic, etc. Don't tell me genre work isn't real writing either, it uses exactly the same skill sets as "real" writing.

I always ask - are you sure you wnt my professional opinion? if so be prepared - I will be comppletely honest. I ask this question when they hand their work to me. I don't pretend the illusion of superiority - they have come to me seeking to model - so I will be honest. No really this is not your medium - OR yes - you have the writers virus - you have the ability - now jump down into the pit and start swinging.

as a professional - it only pays to be honest and dissuade where possible.

- T Crane

@ Aaron Brown

I don't know if you've read a lot of science fiction prose as a kid but this writer named Theodore Sturgeon had Sturgeon's rule which stated that 90 percent of everything is crap.

Go to Borders today, go to any section of any kind, now close your eyes and feel around the shelves and pick out something at random, open your eyes now, whatever it is ring it up even if you don't like the feel or look of it.

You'll have a 10 percent chance of it being any good, and even less chance of it lining up with the specific tastes you've acquired over the years. And that's after the process of elimination of editors, scouts,audiences, label execs,green light committees and talent agencies (in short industry and capitalism)rejecting most of the work sent their way. Some of what's rejected may be great life changing work, but most will be absolute crap.

For the record I didn't like the film, but I also didn't like the source material so make of it what you will.

I love all the comments about screenwriting not actually being a real form of writing -- or claims that adapting a comic book is merely an exercise in going through its pages, copying over the dialogue and describing the pre-storyboarded images.

Sure, on occasion, a movie like SIN CITY works to be especially true to the source material. But that's the exception. Most adaptations involve boiling down a story, finding its spirit and transforming it into something cinematic. The people who can do it well are absolute craftsman.

And, as far as scripts being some sort of soulless instruction manual for a director -- it's obvious those people have never read a truly great script. They have the pulse and excitement of a play, offer stage directions that provide mood, personality and action with elegant economy and -- like a great finished film -- take a grip and compel you to read until the final fade to black. Great screenwriters have to be artists and architects, creating something that's not only beautiful, but also sturdy and true to the physics of the three-act structure.

Yes, there are plenty of crappy scripts that become crappy movies. There are examples of poor writing in nearly every medium, aren't there? I think that's the problem a lot of rookie screenwriters have, which Olsen and others pointed out. They think their scripts don't have to be fun to read. Big mistake.

However you feel about Olsen, it seems a little unfair to condemn an entire profession.

As a modestly published writer, my gripe is when someone finds out I've had something published and they ask for a free published signed copy. I don't know if they believe I receive perpetual trib copies or what.

I'm not giving you a fucking copy. Please, stop asking. The few copies I received were allocated the moment the piece was accepted. The main allocation being my bookshelf.

I'm not a goddamn ATM and I REFUSE to go out, buy my own fucking book, just to give you a copy, fucker!

Wait, on second thought, I'm dropping a postcard to Stephen King telling him I am "excited" about "Under the Dome" and will end the note with... "You'll have to send me a copy! Be sure and sign it first! LOL! Don't forget!"

(picking up gun)

God, I loved Sin City. Brilliant. Yet all I hear about is The Wrestler as Mick's crown jewel. Spin me Hollywood! Spin me!

My dog ate your script/

Amusing article but I can assure you that lawyers are asked for free legal advice all the time. Doctors are asked for medical advice and prescriptions. If you want to avoid this problem -- lie about your day job.

A more diplomatic approach would be to tell them your fee for reading a script and giving notes is $25,000 or more but you can suggest someone that is less expensive. You've shown what your time and effort is worth and sent them somewhere else.

Remember, this year's is tomorrow's director/producer/ studio chief. Or their brother in law. No need to burn bridges because you may be the one calling in favors in the future.

Amusing article but I can assure you that lawyers are asked for free legal advice all the time. Doctors are asked for medical advice and prescriptions. If you want to avoid this problem -- lie about your day job.

A more diplomatic approach would be to tell them your fee for reading a script and giving notes is $25,000 or more but you can suggest someone that is less expensive. You've shown what your time and effort is worth and sent them somewhere else.

Remember, this year's is tomorrow's director/producer/ studio chief. Or their brother in law. No need to burn bridges because you may be the one calling in favors in the future.

From a posting by a respected producer/director on FB, I thought I better read this article. I have just spent the time to read not only the article but also the majority of these comments. I have been writing round the clock to make it as a writer... taken every risk possible and have made a lot of innocent, at times idiotic mistakes... but I acknowledge those mistakes, correct them, apologize and I keep re-writing. I am not perfect but I do keep re-writing.

I do not claim to be that all-time best writer but I do know I can learn from a man who was nominated for an Academy Award, the WGA award, etc... What I do NOT understand is the hatred and ill-warranted comments made by those to a man who is credited with such success.

I have just learned quite a valuable lesson and I greatly appreciate the article, Josh. Thank you for opening up my eyes... and what is nice is that there are a lot of industry people who request to read my work... just like Josh has said... if you take the massive hours, the due diligence, and perseverance to not give up, take the often times harsh feedback and learn from it, and keep at your craft, agents will come knocking on your door. It's just a matter of time.

And I might add, that writing an adaptation is a wonderful thing. There are not too many Academy Award nominated screenwriters out there compared to the number of films produced each year. Thank you for your honesty, Josh.

Josh,

Thank you for writing a brilliant article...one that every aspiring screenwriter needs to read. I'm a TV writer, so I get asked to read scripts and hear series pitches every single day...from people I don't even know. In fact, shortly after I read your article, I got this note from a stranger:

"I have a great idea for a TV series...oops, you've heard that a million times. But really I do. Can I send you the Treatment I have written and get some help pitching it?"

I said no...and his response totally proved your point. Within minutes, he wrote this in his Facebook update:

"Sick of arrogant TV writers who write crap that we have to watch on TV."

and

"I am talking about Lee Goldberg...what a f'n snob...and he sucks."

I wasn't a fucking snob, and I didn't suck, until I told him I wouldn't read his treatment and help him pitch it.

I sent him a link to your article. I hope he learns from it.

Lee

I'll bet anything this dick has asked a tech friend of his to look at his computer.

Lee Goldberg - thank you for posting that. I so agree with you and I have learned such a valuable lesson from this article. Greatly, greatly appreciated.

The abbreviated version: If you don't know someone well enough to fucking pick them up at the airport or fucking help them move then don't ask them to read your fucking script.

SK:
Pfft. Brown-noser.

I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street.

All I know is that first, you've got to get mad.

You've gotta say, "I'm a human being, goddammit! My life has value!"

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

"I will not read your fucking script!"

This was an extremely insightful article. I know when I ask for critique of my work, I really want to hear everyone say it is a really great story, but more than anything, I want it to be true. If it sucks, as disheartening as it would be, I want to know. Especially if I myself think it might possible suck, someone else verifying that would let me know that I either need to scrap it or re-write it. If they lie to me, it's a disservice. No one wants to be the one to have to tell someone their work is shit. I understand where you're coming from and know to never ask an accomplished professional to read my script.

Lastly, History of Violence was an a great film, loved it. It's very similar to a story I'm currently writing. Send me your e-mail address, I'll e-mail you a summary.

I've worked as a writer for years. I've written a few scripts and I'm currently writing a novella from one of them. No one has ever read my scripts except one New York agent who contacted me. He wasn't interested, but my goal has never been to write scripts. I've always heard that if you're over 30 no one is intersted in any script you write. I don't understand that concept at all, but I believe it considering the hundred or so remake movies or comic book movies that come out. It is hard to find something original anymore. I did think the article was heavy handed and egotistical. There will always be novice writers asking to be read. I don't believe a successful writer should be nasty to them. We all start somewhere.

And this is why the idea tank in Hollywood is now bankrupt.

nobody wants to read original ideas, they want the latest regurgitated crap.

they want franchises and sequels, not interesting, new ideas. They want proven moneymakers, they don't want to take the risk of funding something avant garde.

and people certainly don't want to go into a movie and be forced to THINK.

Very simply, theres a professional process Screenwriters should go through to get their scripts read. Sure, get your friends and family to read it through and tell you what they think, but if you think it's ready for professional consumption then go the proper route. Don't corner some poor dude at a party.

Your sisters boyfriend is a plumber. He comes to your barbeque. Is he then also obligated to fit your bathroom?

Unfotunately, Mr so-called-Olsen has completely misunderstood the situation.

When I ask him or some other supposed writer to read my script and give an opinion, I am not asking for feedback. Why would I want the opinion of someone who just transposed a comic book into a script? If it was about the money, I would just do that myself.

No, what I want is him to be amazed and put it on the desk of someone who actually matters. If he is too stupid to recognise the genius in the script I've given him then all the more reason for him to put it higher up the chain.

Yes, I may require him to do a little bit of editing -typos, scenes I didn't finish and that kind of thing - but he will get recognition in my memoirs.

It is meant to be for I am an Artist. My script will be the one thing that Hollywood ever produces that redeems it after all the rubbish that it has produced.

And these writers keep a closed shop by refusing to take my work forward. I don't have much money so can't afford a script reader. I can barely afford the cigarettes and beer that I must have as an auteur.

And this is why you are selfish, greedy dicks.

Shelfish. That's what I;d call someone who sayd that to me.

Wow Nick you think screenwriters are not writers?

They are.

They write for the screen.

Some are great, some are mediocre and some can barely string a sentence together. It's no different from the fiction world.

Just because you can type does not mean you can write. Writing, and writing for film where you must convey in a few words something that might take a week to capture on screen, is a very special skill. It being prepared to 'kill your babies' to get to truth and originality.

In my experience the people who want free feedback have not invested anything in developing that skill. They've watched some movies and thought 'I could do better than that', had a half-formed idea and are now infatuated with the idea of being in the film industry.

As a script editor for a film funding body I would get offered scripts by people who hadn't even bothered to find out the format, much less tried to write something real. Trite, cliched, no structure...

How to get your screenplay/novel read if you want to break in:

Join writers groups and have other aspiring writers read your work, and read theirs for them. Give honest feedback. Listen to the feedback you get, and decide what you think. Craft your writing. Write and re-write. Read about writing. Watch films, study the structure. And when you've actually got something solid (like being in love, you'll know), send it through formal channels. Use connections you've made along the way (you will if you invest time) to get access to people with other connections.

It's hard work. Many fail.

But stop whining. Olsen has a point.

If Olson can make a judgment about a screenplay within a page or two (I don't doubt it's possible--I do it all the time with other types of writing) why does he have such a big pile of screenplays on both sides of his bed? Surely he'd be getting through them quickly? Are they coming in at such a prodigious rate?

Second of all my own feeling is that the person who gets to do what they love for a living is enjoying a sort of privilege. I'd like everyone to have that privilege, but I acknowledge we are far from that state of job Nirvana. In the meantime it's nice for the lucky ones to share, to give a little, instead of imagining that one's material success is necessarily a proof of one's greater deservingness, which the not-yet-pros don't appreciate or they wouldn't importune you with their pathetic hopes etc. Notice that there is a sort of reflexive hostility of insiders toward outsiders? You ever notice how easy that is? And how easy it is to like and admire the person you're looking up the ladder at? You haven't noticed that or learned to question it yet? There is no surer sign of the insecure parvenu than these snarls toward those approaching from below. Someone's got to show the beginner where to begin. Kindness is needed so it might as well start with you. If that doesn't motivate you, then consider that those writers are your most attentive readers. It can be a way to give back, and you can make sensible arrangements to do it so you aren't waylaid and it doesn't take over your life, just like any other formal giving. Hire an intern for four hours a week and pay them to learn how to move the crap out the door. "I have a great mountain of scripts by people I like more than you and are better writers than you" is very likely untrue and definitely rude.

If someone's screenplay or short story appears to you to be rubbish after five minutes's perusal, then tell them so in the sixth minute. Why waste any more time? Honestly, if you need weeks to figure out why and how to say it then maybe you don't know your shit as well as you think you do. Or you're marketing your own profundity or something. Because the amount of money it would take for me to lie to people about my opinion of a piece of writing would have to arrive in a fleet of armored trucks, and I am certainly not going to bother to do it for free.

Finally, stories about real life are funnier when they're true and accurate.

See that? That engaged with the writer's ideas and endeavored to teach him something about his responsibilities as a writer and how he might more satisfactorily fulfill them. Took me a little more than half an hour.

This is the sort of tosspot arrogance you get from Americans. Then they wonder why the world hates them. Why the rest of the world wants to fly planes into their great big shiny buildings and bring them down.

Steven King tells of someone who bothered to sit down and dot his i's and cross his t's for him, and took the time. He took the fucking time. Someone who knew how to write, and acted in a spirit of generosity, as a helper. Just because you're a big shot now doesn't mean you can treat people like shit. Someone helped you along the Road of Life, didn't they?: you didn't just get there by yourself, by some sort of osmosis or Great Leap Forward, did you, Mister Big Shot?

A little humility please. I know Americans don't generally do humility, but I'm sure you can come up with a little, and show it.

I don't get how people seem to find this article to be a rant. Anyone who has ever been in the situation where they felt obligated by social pressure to do something they really don't want to do should recognize this.

For those of us who work with computers, for instance, there are humorous T-shirts made that say "No, I will not fix your computer" because everyone seems to think computing professionals can't wait to work on computers for free after coming home from working on computers for 9 hours. The situation for a professional writer is clearly similar in that regard - and even worse, I guess, since so many people think they can write but are sadly mistaken.

Clearly, the professional writers need to print up some "No, I will not read your fucking screenplay" t-shirts - or maybe ties.

"This is the sort of tosspot arrogance you get from Americans. Then they wonder why the world hates them. Why the rest of the world wants to fly planes into their great big shiny buildings and bring them down."

Yeah, Colin, if Josh Olson had read Osama's script back in the day, we wouldn't have to deal with al-Qaeda. Idiot.

Great article. I have the utmost respect for real screenwriters, I've read way too many bad scripts written by people who think anyone can write a script not to appreciate the real deal.

Dude, you are a dick. For the record your script was fucking mediocre and it made for a mediocre movie. Congratulations that you got nominated by the same academy that gave Chicago their best picture award. You've spent thirty years working hard at screenwriting and learning how to do so. Great. You are the same kind of douche bag you probably wanted to rid the town of when you were still an idealistic young man. I can't wait until I am standing face to face with you someday with a script you could never dream of writing in my hard drive. You will never know what you missed. Does anybody out there think you find gold without searching? Elizabeth Banks posted your article on her twitter, which led me here. Now I have less respect for both of you tools than I do for the tools who pass off shitty scripts to you people. Take your enormous head out of your own ass and try to appreciate the reality of the situation. People respect your opinion and want your help. You are in a position to do that. Stop being a dick, you asshole. And when other people make you feel like you are a dick, get over it. You are a grown ass man who already made it.

Unfotunately, Mr so-called-Olsen has completely misunderstood the situation.

When I ask him or some other supposed writer to read my script and give an opinion, I am not asking for feedback. Why would I want the opinion of someone who just transposed a comic book into a script? If it was about the money, I would just do that myself.

No, what I want is him to be amazed and put it on the desk of someone who actually matters. If he is too stupid to recognise the genius in the script I've given him then all the more reason for him to put it higher up the chain.

Yes, I may require him to do a little bit of editing -typos, scenes I didn't finish and that kind of thing - but he will get recognition in my memoirs.

It is meant to be for I am an Artist. My script will be the one thing that Hollywood ever produces that redeems it after all the rubbish that it has produced.

And these writers keep a closed shop by refusing to take my work forward. I don't have much money so can't afford a script reader. I can barely afford the cigarettes and beer that I must have as an auteur.

And this is why you are selfish, greedy dicks.

Moray J, an anonymous ass kisser to strangers and piss poor writer.

Laughable. A man who adapted a comic book into a terrible movie compares himself to Picasso.

1. If this fellow can put his hand on his heart and say, "No one ever read anything of mine, gratis, ever, as a favour, at my request, and gave me feedback, and I've never asked any other gratuitous favour in my entire life," then ten out of ten to the guy. He has robust and consistent principles.

2. If on the other hand he can't say that - he has to admit that he "used" other people "that way", but resents anyone now "using" him in return, cos, you know, his time's precious now and he's got to be focussed and stay focussed - then he needs to have a good look at himself in the mirror.

1 or 2. Which was it? Be honest now.

---------

The problem is, every writer has difficulty knowing if their writing is good or bad, or where it needs to be improved, unless someone who has the knowledge and experience is willing to give them constructive feedback. They are too close to their work, they spent too long on it, they don't have the distance, the objectivity. So of course those with the knowledge are going to find themselves put upon from time to time. Just say NO if it's too much trouble, or if you want to avoid helping the competition out. We don't need reluctant givers, thank you. You look after number one, mate, that's fine.

But what about my personal sense of entitlement?!

I have a right to demand your time!
I have a right to make assumptions about how you started off!
I have a right to insult your movie and insult you so that I don't cry myself to sleep at night!
I have a right to act childish and amateur because I'm not a professional until I get paid (check the definition of PROFESSIONAL you alleged "writer"), so I don't need to act professional yet!
I have a right to whine like a freaking baby when you say not nice things to me!

Just like so many others in these comments, I deserve to be Hollywood rich and have a hot wife and a CEEment pond! So it's my right to have you read my script and tell me how awesome it and you wished you could right half as good as my toe!!

Think of the children!!

I agree and like the article except for the "fucking" part of the title. Just do not understand that hungry word. It hides so many more layers to the story, it's like we are missing some part of it. Like for example maybe our writer is in love with the friend and hates this not talented new boyfriend...
I'm curious what this hunger actually hides. Why did it take so long to write the email, really? So many questions...
T

Perhaps if breaking into Hollywood wasn't similar to finding a needle in a haystack, people wouldn't approach on you the street. And instead of getting all high and mighty and posting some pointless fucking blog, try to maintain some common courtesy and remember that not everyone handing you a script is some average joe who just wants a chance to be on US Weekly and thinks he's found his way.

Instead there's a lot of starved writers out there, who for whatever reason or another haven't found an agent yet and are desperately trying to do something about that. For you to be a shit head and deny them even the opportunity to ask you, that's beyond vain. This is akin to a super model who posts a blog telling people to not ask her out ever, because she's too fucking hot for them and spending two hours with us would interrupt her working schedule.

1) You're not a supermodel. In fact, it's even shocking anyone approaches you on the street to pass on their screenplay when so many other "stars" come out to play.

2) Like a complete fucking prick, you've chosen to be a prick even when you have the opportunity to be neither the bad guy or the good guy, but to get your point across you'll make things black and white. You ever thought instead of saying "I won't read your fucking script", maybe give them the card of an agent who might?

I've got too much pride to approach someone on the street and offer them my hard work (pride is a foolish thing), but considering the nepotism and connection driven world of Hollywood, I don't blame any individual who has the confidence to ask, even if they're only trying to get on the cover of US Weekly. It's admirable (not the US Weekly stuff), and if you can't understand that, I pity all the young writers who are going to come up to you and be jaded by your dick head, hollywood esque personality. Way to contribute to a major stereotype asshole.

As a professional writer myself, I don't necessarily disagree with the general idea being expressed here. The manner in which it's being communicated, however, doesn't scream "professional" to me. It says, "Hi, I'm a dick." Besides, it's not like Josh Olson is some tremendously accomplished screenwriter. His adaptation of a fantastic graphic novel resulted in a shitty movie that wasn't worth the time required to sit through it.

What a pretentious ass. I read your fucking article. I wish I'd read the two page synopsis instead.

Yeah, ok. I get it. He doesn't need to use profanity and berate an aspiring writer.

Funny that he mentioned Godfather II; History of Violence needs its own version of it.

On the one hand, I feel this guy's pain. As an editor, I'm amazed at how many people think I'll clean up their bad writing for free. It really does feel like an insult, like editing couldn't possibly take time, effort, or warrant a fee.

On the other hand, I'm not writing about the experience and publishing it in The Village Voice. I don't think it's that important, or that much of a travesty. If this were brilliantly written, or satirical in any way, that would be one thing, but it's not. It's a rant, like so much of what I read on the internet these days. (Seriously. "If you can bitch about it, it must be worth writing" seems to be the assumption of far too many internet writers. Maybe calling it a blog is considered fair warning, as in "Back up, dude, I think I'm gonna blog." At any rate, it's much harder to get away with mere griping in print.)

Then again, I've often thought about what it takes to be a successful artist. Being self-absorbed is probably a prerequisite for survival. So, Josh Olson could be a dick, I really have no idea. Is he a typically self-absorbed, self-indulgent artist? It's probably a safe bet.

I'm just tired of getting involved in an article only to discover it really IS just a guy bitching about his life for a couple pages. Talk about something you don't want to do unless you're getting paid for it!

I find it rather hilarious that the writers who felt it important to comment against the writer of the piece ("long time professional screenwriter with big time credits", I'm looking at you) could not even be bothered to read and/or spell Mr. Olson's name correctly.

Do you remember reading what Mr. Olson said about writers also being readers? Or was it your anger and umbrage at his comments that sent your comment(s) off the deep end?

Calm down. He put into words what everyone only ever thinks about saying. "You suck."

Oh, the savory irony of the haters calling this author a dick: apparently you are all such genius writers and yet you, by missing it completely, are *proving* his central, itself-ironic thesis: that people who *are* dicks force him to act like a dick and then call *him* a dick, ignoring their own igniting dickness.

Anyone who has a problem with this article has clearly never had a skill of any use to others. Such people instantly recognize everything the author decsribes and cringe in sympathetic horror, having themselves been presumed upon over & over again by dicks who don't know that *their very asking* is dickish behavior which, if met with anything but flag-waving ardor, ITSELF BECOMES THE DIRECT, PROXIMATE AND SOLE CAUSE of whatever dickishness they may perceive (if extant) in the original victim.

What brats. Just go back to your nanny, rest on your trust fund laurels and stop impeding the forward progress of people who actually know what they're doing AND WERE NOT PUT ON EARTH FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF CODDLING YOU.

So Josh, if you were on the street and fell and injured yourself and a Health Care worker walked by dressed in a uniform. Would you ask for unsolicited help?

Would you like it if I as a Health Care worker and a human being turned my back on you and said. You know, I have a child at home I care for...I work on the weekends and take care of people...I also work with families and friends during the week too.

Sorry that you just hurt yourself and you need help. But you are not a person I work with or my friend, so you can fucking sit there and suffer. I will not help you.

Wow, did you ever have any empathy or imagine that you may be someone people are looking up to. Maybe it's time for a change in your job or time to move forward. If this is causing you too much pain maybe you are in the wrong field and not doing anymore for the love of the art.

When did you become so jaded? You could be helping someone along their journey. Just as others have helped you. Who gave you the choice to be filled with hate? And Why on earth did you make that choice when there are so many other options available.

Adding my applause to the crowd. Thank you for saying this so bluntly.

That some schmucks still don't get it is proof that even a very good writer can't defeat nuclear-level assholery. But the rest of us who at least occasionally have to say, "No, I won't read it" (or, in my case, "No, I won't pass it on to an editor") are bolstered by your ferocity.

Someone got up in the wrong side of the script. I like the honesty, and delivery. Did i hear you in the Healthcare Congressional gathering last week?

The depth of bullshit offended entitlement continues to rise.

First, the many vicious attacks on A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE and Josh's talent and character are all beside the point. Completely beyond the point, idiotically beside the point, delusionally beside the point. It doesn't matter one whit whether he's the next Billy Wilder or the next Ed Wood. He could be the biggest saint in Hollywood or he could be the biggest coke-fueled ego monster. That's all completely irrelevant. His point is still valid. He could be the guy who wrote the direct-to-video ZOMBIE CHEERLEADERS VS. SATAN-SPAWN III: THE RETURN, and the principle he talked about, that he does not owe you his time, that you are asking for more than you think, that if you are like the vast majority of people who want him to look at screenplays (or who want him to look at novels), you are not interested in constructive criticism so much as a fatherly pat on the head and a direct line to Quentin Tarantino.

Second, the tone of the responses here provide excellent reason why any professional writer would not want the vast majority of entitled wannabes in their lives. Almost everybody who puts pen to paper has spotted fresh young talents coming up, and given freely of advice, editing skills, connections, and so on; it's happened to me and it's happened to Josh, and yes, we've both benefited, and we've both paid forward. But the vast majority who seek us out and ask, not through the legitimate venues of workshops, genuine professional connections, and friendships close enough to warrant such requests for serious impositions on our time and trust, are wrongos to an extent you cannot possibly believe. You only have to read the responses in this thread to know the kind of unformed, infantile malice that shambles around out there. Again, few of you want genuine feedback of the, "Learn basic english, master story structure" type. You want, "Change this comma, put this secret symbol on your cover letter, and here's Jerry Bruckheimer's home number." (If you feel with all your heart that this does not apply to you, don't reply with venom and fury. It happens to be true, and again, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE could be the worst movie ever made and it would still be true.)

Finally, as many have pointed out, this kind of offended entitlement is not limited to folks who want writers to take a free look at their screenplays. People ask their friends the plumber to come out into the backyard and take a quick look at the septic tank. It is equally obnoxious; the plumber who says, "Well, today's my day off, but if you want me to come out tomorrow I charge XXXX an hour," gets an offended, "But as long as you're HEEERRRE..." The difference is that the shnorring homeowner simply wants to cadge some free maintenance and the wannabe writer wants the key to the kingdown and has invested all of his sense of self-worth in the writer's kindly approval. The writer who hacks his way all the way to the end of a totally unreadable piece of work, and tells the wannabe, as I once did, "Ummm, this is twenty pages of somebody sitting in a chair thinking, none of the words mean what you seem to think they mean, and it ends with the revelation that it was all a dream," gets an angry, "Well, what the FUCK do you know? YOUR STUFF STINKS ANYWAY!" And the vast numbers of unwashed who have posted here (easy to distinguish from the ones who are reasonable human beings), do not present a persuasive argument otherwise with their hostile calls of "douchebag" and (seriously) "self-hating Jew."

(Side Complaint: slight acquaintances, never close to the status friends, who demand free copies of a writer's latest book, only to get huffy when the writer says no; who angrily say, I kid you not, "Why would you expect me to pay for a book I haven't even read?" Well, duh, that is the way it is supposed to work...and the mere question reveals that you don't know books and were not really interested in reading one, just in displaying it to your equally idiot friends as a tenuous connection to imagined celebrity. The principle is the same. Such people are so invested in their ability to cadge something for nothing that they attribute evil to the act of refusal.)

The depth of bullshit offended entitlement continues to rise.

First, the many vicious attacks on A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE and Josh's talent and character are all beside the point. Completely beyond the point, idiotically beside the point, delusionally beside the point. It doesn't matter one whit whether he's the next Billy Wilder or the next Ed Wood. He could be the biggest saint in Hollywood or he could be the biggest coke-fueled ego monster. That's all completely irrelevant. His point is still valid. He could be the guy who wrote the direct-to-video ZOMBIE CHEERLEADERS VS. SATAN-SPAWN III: THE RETURN, and the principle he talked about, that he does not owe you his time, that you are asking for more than you think, that if you are like the vast majority of people who want him to look at screenplays (or who want him to look at novels), you are not interested in constructive criticism so much as a fatherly pat on the head and a direct line to Quentin Tarantino.

Second, the tone of the responses here provide excellent reason why any professional writer would not want the vast majority of entitled wannabes in their lives. Almost everybody who puts pen to paper has spotted fresh young talents coming up, and given freely of advice, editing skills, connections, and so on; it's happened to me and it's happened to Josh, and yes, we've both benefited, and we've both paid forward. But the vast majority who seek us out and ask, not through the legitimate venues of workshops, genuine professional connections, and friendships close enough to warrant such requests for serious impositions on our time and trust, are wrongos to an extent you cannot possibly believe. You only have to read the responses in this thread to know the kind of unformed, infantile malice that shambles around out there. Again, few of you want genuine feedback of the, "Learn basic english, master story structure" type. You want, "Change this comma, put this secret symbol on your cover letter, and here's Jerry Bruckheimer's home number." (If you feel with all your heart that this does not apply to you, don't reply with venom and fury. It happens to be true, and again, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE could be the worst movie ever made and it would still be true.)

Finally, as many have pointed out, this kind of offended entitlement is not limited to folks who want writers to take a free look at their screenplays. People ask their friends the plumber to come out into the backyard and take a quick look at the septic tank. It is equally obnoxious; the plumber who says, "Well, today's my day off, but if you want me to come out tomorrow I charge XXXX an hour," gets an offended, "But as long as you're HEEERRRE..." The difference is that the shnorring homeowner simply wants to cadge some free maintenance and the wannabe writer wants the key to the kingdown and has invested all of his sense of self-worth in the writer's kindly approval. The writer who hacks his way all the way to the end of a totally unreadable piece of work, and tells the wannabe, as I once did, "Ummm, this is twenty pages of somebody sitting in a chair thinking, none of the words mean what you seem to think they mean, and it ends with the revelation that it was all a dream," gets an angry, "Well, what the FUCK do you know? YOUR STUFF STINKS ANYWAY!" And the vast numbers of unwashed who have posted here (easy to distinguish from the ones who are reasonable human beings), do not present a persuasive argument otherwise with their hostile calls of "douchebag" and (seriously) "self-hating Jew."

(Side Complaint: slight acquaintances, never close to the status friends, who demand free copies of a writer's latest book, only to get huffy when the writer says no; who angrily say, I kid you not, "Why would you expect me to pay for a book I haven't even read?" Well, duh, that is the way it is supposed to work...and the mere question reveals that you don't know books and were not really interested in reading one, just in displaying it to your equally idiot friends as a tenuous connection to imagined celebrity. The principle is the same. Such people are so invested in their ability to cadge something for nothing that they attribute evil to the act of refusal.)

To @Anonymous (who used the Health Care worker "analogy"):

What a load of bollocks. You cannot compare someone asking for help when they are hurt/sick/in-need/etc to someone asking for help in their career.

And the detractors of Mr. Olson are completely missing his salient point: that the "writer" who approached him had not done his homework. He CLEARLY had not practiced, or studied, or joined writing groups/etc. Anyone with even a modicum of writing talent or surrounded by anyone with a modicum of writing talent could not have turned in such a shoddy piece of "work".

This all stems from the "Wunderkind" mentality. No-one is willing to "apprentice" any more.

I agree Mr. Olson. My husband is a professional musician, who, in the past has enjoyed success. There is no end to the favors that people feel free to ask of him. Although circumstances have changed, it is a true imposition!

Reading the article and comments two days after Joe Wilson had his ad hominem moment during Obama's health-care speech, I find myself, again, despairing for humanity. It's like a plague, this inability to express ideas and opinions without taking everything so goddamn personally, projecting our crap onto others, insisting on the primacy of our own egos. My God, it's tiresome.

A screenwriter fancies himself a linguistic Picasso, but can't manage to decline a request for a favor with a graceful line or two? That might be something to work on between projects, Josh. Maybe you'll figure out how to use your presumed skill at verbally painting characters to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment and then find the most effective words for your own piece of dialogue.

Comment writers are offended by Josh Olsen's tone, or resent the stand he's taking, or think his writing sucks, or know him to be a douche bag, or want to throw him into an oven, like a "dumb jew" deserves? Great. Try turning your emotional response into a little self-reflection and see that what you're saying about him is really about you. If we could shine a little more light on our own shadows, maybe we could all stop being such douche bags.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I will not read your script, I will not do your budget and breakdown for free, I will not get your film financed, and you DON'T want me to be honest.

I salute you. Replace "screenwriting" with "reviewing" and this would be a spot-on description of attitudes towards reviewing anime - for whatever reason, people seem to think that hardly requires any ability (or familiarity) with the English language.

As so many commenters have said: Yes, new and would-be writers absolutely do need people to read their work, offer constructive criticism and support. No matter how much or how little native talent any one writer may possess, the fact is that writing good stories -- in any form, medium or genre -- is hard work that takes a lot of practice, and help does indeed make a big difference.

Here's the important part: There are SPECIFIC PEOPLE to whom writers-in-training need to turn:

(1) Your peers. Join or start a writers group so you can meet regularly and read and respond to one another's work.

(2) Teachers. There are classes. Many, many, many, many classes, in fact -- of all sorts, ranging from inexpensive sessions at your community college all the way through two-year masters programs.

Once a writer has spent time listening to criticism from group (1) and/or (2), frequently returning to their writing to address their helpers' concerns, then eventually the time will come to kick things up to the next level -- by sending completed pieces of writing to the appropriate gateway professionals. Depending on what kind of writing you're doing, that might mean either (a) book agents, (b) magazine editors, (c) theatre festival contests, (d) local independent filmmakers, etc.

Please note, however, that nowhere in groups (1), (2), (a), (b), (c), or (d) do you find the category "professional writer who is neither your friend nor your teacher." Because THAT is a category of person to whom you should NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, be showing your first-time piece of writing.

"This is the sort of tosspot arrogance you get from Americans. Then they wonder why the world hates them. Why the rest of the world wants to fly planes into their great big shiny buildings and bring them down."

Just wanted to tell you, on behalf of my fellow Arrogant Americans, to take your trite opinions and shove them up your arrogant asshole!

I liked this article. I'm on the amateur film-making circuit myself (not a writer) and if I ever encountered a pro I'd probably be more inclined to ask for advice on what I *should* do rather than thrusting 120 pages into their hands.
Maybe ask for a phone number or contact for someone who actually does review unsolicited material - and then pay for it.
Rather than imposing myself on their time I'd just ask for a few quick pointers that can be forgotten about (by them) after the meeting.

However if that IS unreasonable then someone feel free to write an article entitled:
"No I won't give you any fucking advice"

...actually, truth be told, I'd probably just try to appear nonchalant and have a laugh with them!

I couldn't fucking agree more. Bravo.

You are an asshole, Josh, but not for tearing into the guy's synopsis. You're an asshole for writing this piece.

Also, "One Shot" is a moronic book. Good luck.

If you hate being a writer and people asking you to read scripts then give up the big bucks and go be a fucking ditch digger, you won't get asked and you won't get the Hollywood money either. Stop your fucking whining, I wish people would bother me with your problems. I will trade any day you spoiled Hollywood asshole. I think people forget where they come from sometimes. Go fuck yourself.

Writers and unintentional comedy, a winning combination. Thank you all!

"If Mr. Olson's comments offend...there's a simple question to ask yourselves. Whatever it is you currently get paid to do...whatever you consider your profession...whatever pays your rent and puts food on your table...would you stop in the middle of your day and take two hours of that work time...and do the exact same thing FOR FREE because someone asked you to?"

I would.

Of course and absolutely, I would.

But, then again, I am an EMT (emergency medical technician) and medical interventions are a bit different than script reads and such. That and, well, we get paid shit, not much more than someone working a crap retail job, so we might as well be doing it for free in the first place.

;)

Will you read my screen play?

I wish I had not wasted 2 hrs of my life watching your fucking movie. It fucking sucked. Jesus. What a drag that movie was. AND it was based on a fucking comic book. How hard can that be to write. What a fucking ass.

I LOVE THIS! I totally agree. I was a studio executive for years and didn't have enough respect for the craft (although I am very familiar with the assholes who ask you to read their stuff or talk to them and when you give them real advice hate you for years - more on that). After marrying a writer and trying to write myself, I realize the blood, sweat and tears it takes and the craft and brilliance it takes. Every exec should have to try to write a script before giving notes!

On another note, my bosses assistant asked me to speak to her fiance who was pitching a project. I asked him if I could read something and he said he didn't have anythign written. I told him to take a class or realize that this was going to be a difficult task. I am sure I was terse, I was a busy exec, but that didn't mean I didn't give him real advice. Years later, I asked the same guy for some help on an internet idea which I also had given short shrift. He took the meeting and then proceeded to rip me an asshole becuz I had been such a dick to him. Oy!

I LOVE THIS! I totally agree. I was a studio executive for years and didn't have enough respect for the craft (although I am very familiar with the assholes who ask you to read their stuff or talk to them and when you give them real advice hate you for years - more on that). After marrying a writer and trying to write myself, I realize the blood, sweat and tears it takes and the craft and brilliance it takes. Every exec should have to try to write a script before giving notes!

On another note, my bosses assistant asked me to speak to her fiance who was pitching a project. I asked him if I could read something and he said he didn't have anythign written. I told him to take a class or realize that this was going to be a difficult task. I am sure I was terse, I was a busy exec, but that didn't mean I didn't give him real advice. Years later, I asked the same guy for some help on an internet idea which I also had given short shrift. He took the meeting and then proceeded to rip me an asshole becuz I had been such a dick to him. Oy!

"So Josh, if you were on the street and fell and injured yourself and a Health Care worker walked by dressed in a uniform. Would you ask for unsolicited help?"

I imagine you would because, at least in that situation, if you asked and the HC provider said no?

You could sue them.

First of all, great article. Spot on.

Second, one thing many of the detractors seem to overlook is that Mr. Olson does read screenplays for friends. Remember he has two stacks next to his bed. But he won't read those from someone with a vague perceived relationship.

Third, why put in all the effort to try to play upon the perceived relationship when he can't buy the script? Write the screenplay, submit it through channels, and while waiting to hear back, write the next screenplay.

You don't have to look far for examples of books, screenplays, short stories, etc... that were passed over by the first (or more) editor to which they were submitted. Send your work to someone who can write you a check. If they don't like it, send it elsewhere. They may have just bought something similiar. They may have been having a bad day and nothing seems good them them. It happens. It's life.

But be a pro, keep writing the next project. That's how I've sold my writing.

To all who can't accept the fucking truth,

Why don't you get back to fucking writing instead of giving this fucking guy such a fucking hard time?

Oh, wait... it's because you're not fucking writers. You're not fucking readers either, since you missed the whole fucking point of his fucking article.

Get a fucking life, you fucking morons and write something that is somewhat fucking professional. Then you can fucking have an opinion that someone can fucking care about.

I thought it was fucking awesome.

This article resonates with me. Including the angry tone with which it's written. Because I've lost a friend who at one time I was very close too and whose friendship meant a great deal to me.

I'm a television producer. Yes, it's mostly schlock reality television. And yes, I'm used to the criticism that goes with that job (including meeting a DC based lawyer on a flight recently who told me that "you need to aspire to something better in your life.")

My friend, Brian, really wanted to be the creator of the next Saturday Night Live. He went to school to learn how to do this. Brian then found work in the industry. That's where we met. We became fast and good friends. After a few years he quit the industry and became a realtor. It was a good move for him. He's got a good family and makes a lot of money. But he still wants to be the next Lorne Michaels.

The problem started once I found success in my career. Success that was a hard fought battle for me. I went to school for years. I then worked on other peoples films for 14 years. I then stopped working and spent 3 years not making any money (living on savings) but just hustled, wrote, pitched, and built my company. Then I had some minor success and made a bit of money. But 2 more years went by before I suddenly had a hit show. That's 19 years of dedication, sacrifice and learning.

But while Brian had always pitched ideas at me, it became an epidemic. We could never talk, email or hang out with out it turning into a marathon of him desperately pitching of one bad idea after another. I stopped calling. Never hung out with him. When I did it was painful. But he was my friend. But a friend who lost interest in who I was. He never asked a thing about me or my work or my life. It was all "me, me, my ideas and when are you going to take my ideas and make me Lorne Michaels?"

After a while I decided the friendship was important. I started encouraging him. But directing his energy. Stop talking to me and write out these pitches. I tried to teach him. I gave him examples of my work. But he didn't even read them. He didn't want to do the work. He just kept calling, even at 3 in the morning, to describe in great detail some sketch to my voicemail.

Eventually, after 3 years of declining friendship, and growing frustration on my part, I casually mentioned something to his wife. To our friends in common. Hoping that they would say something to him. They did. He kept pitching.

One night at a dinner party, I spent the entire night avoiding him. Finally he cornered me (literally) and started in on me. Why haven't you done something with this idea, or next time you're in a meeting at NBC pitch this. I decided I couldn't take it. I stopped him. Very politely. And told him to stop. I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't interested. Let's talk about something else. He wouldn't, you see, he was just warming up and had hours more of funny stories (that aren't funny), and bad jokes and dreadfully boring situations to describe in minute detail.

I walked away. And didn't talk to him for six or seven months. And the I called him up, said lets go for coffee. I told him my pain and reiterated the value of his friendship. I asked him to please stop pitching me.

I put a package in front of Brian. One that had taken me an entire day to put together. A book, about writing pitches. More pitches of shoes that I'd had traction on and made. I offered to seriously read and consider every treatment he sent me. On the condition that we'd have meetings at my office. And on the condition that we'd never, ever talk about anything to do with his shows in any social situation. We shook hands and made plans to go for a coffee the next week.

We met. And the first thing he did was say "Hey, I've had the best idea ever..." and started in. I stopped. I told him straight to his face "WRITE IT DOWN SO I CAN READ IT, LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE". He looked at me quizzically and said "Oh, I can't write, and its too hard to learn. This is easier." And I said, to echo Josh, "I WILL NOT LISTEN TO ANOTHER OF YOUR FUCKING PITCHES."

And that was a year ago. We don't talk anymore. I'm sad about it. His wife says he wonders what happened to me and why I changed. He doesn't get it. Never will.

Would it have made a difference if I had just told him from the start that I couldn't listen to his pitches and if I'd been more aggressive about it. Does he think I'm an asshole? Dunno. Am I? Probably. I am a television producer after all.

Josh's point is valid, WHATEVER ELSE HE HAS WRITTEN, no matter how rude and selfish and beastly and stubbly he appears. I agree completely.

Others are not entitled to my precious time, for any reason. Not even when they share an interest in something for which I BURN, making movies and writing for a living.

I admit I have read for free. In a few cases, I even noticed the writing was good. I passed those scripts along, and they were made into well-rated television shows. Really.

But that many read-requests ago. Most of what I'm handed, by professionals or amateurs, is dreadful. Desperately untalented and unskilled. Not worth the time to burn.

Yes, it's hard to turn down some writer wannabee, when he looks at you with puppy-dog eyes, and you know he's in a job he hates, and you notice his wife and children are so skinny.

It is hard, but you must do it, or you will spend your precious writing time...reading.

Things will go downhill from there. You can't pay bills, and will starve to death, and nothing will grow on your grave. You will be of no use to anybody.

You must fiercely defend your writing time, and use it only to WRITE.

So, turn him down.

Common human decency requires that you turn him down nicely. Without bad words and bad manners.

Yes, that is hard. It is far easier to let your resentment grow to the point where you EXPLODE, and cuss out strangers, or write a wildly angry piece for the _Village Voice_.

Don't do that. All that stuff comes back.

Practice will grow you some turn-down muscles. Exercise them, and they will grow. You need to be able to turn people down, and do so nicely. It's part of being a professional. Really.

I used to tell people - just to discourage them from asking me - that I'd read a script and write a little review, for five hundred bucks. But they weren't discouraged. They paid me, five hundred. Then a thousand. Then two thousand.

The times I got paid to read and review scripts was easy money, but there are two things:

1) Reading somebody's dreadful stinky script, just so you can point out why it stinks, is DEPRESSING. To the point of sleeping-all-day and longing-for-death depressing.

Instead of working at a job I hated, I had CREATED a job I hated. I was working on other people's movies, and not on my own.

And EVERY time I said the script was bad, I would get cussed out and defamed. Just like you see on this page.

2) The money is not nearly as good as writing a good script of your own, and selling it. Which brings money and satisfaction, and isn't DEPRESSING at all.

So, now I just SMILE, and say a little speech I've developed over the years. It is simple.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

No matter what they say, I just repeat that, like a broken record, until they change the subject.

It's that easy. Do it. Remember to smile.

Best to you,

Sam Longoria

Josh is being way too polite. The only proper response when an amateur attempts to hand you his manuscript, his screenplay, his unpublished novel, his short story, his treatment, his outline, his notes, is to take an axe to his laptop, follow him home, burn down his house, and salt the ground.

Not too long ago, a writer of my acquaintance (a person of some fame in the industry) was hired to work on a major franchise. After several months of development, the project was making genuine progress and looked good. Then one day, out of the blue, an amateur from West Elbow, Nevada, sends him an email containing her outline for a spinoff of that franchise, asking him to help her sell it because "she has the story, but he has the access to the people who will produce it."

My friend backed away in horror, but the damage was done. He had received this woman's email. Even the act of telling her, "No, I can't help you," was an acknowledgment of receipt. Therefore she could prove that he'd had access to her material -- and it didn't matter that he'd already done six months on the project -- her email had created a situation where she (and an unscrupulous lawyer) could claim that he had ripped off elements in her material.

The studio's lawyers were not happy and my friend almost got booted off the project, until he informed the amateur that he intended to sue her for compromising his ability to earn a living. She signed and notarized a waiver and he got to keep his job.

After that, he changed his email and now has an assistant screen everything and reply with a, "Mr. Twain does not live here anymore and if you send anymore unsolicited material, we will forward your email address to the Dept of Homeland Security for attempting to terrorize an American author."

Reading someone's manuscript is a great way to get sued by an idiot and an unscrupulous lawyer.

Real writers write, they understand enough about writing to know that writing time is so precious that you NEVER impose on someone else's working time.

On the other hand, if you're really serious about getting the opinion of a professional author, I bill at $500 an hour....

David Gerrold

I take great offense in someone using my name with so much venom attached. I don't even know this guy, or want to know him, I might add. Josh Olson is obviously good at writing rants. I think he needs some work on anger management however. Not a good way to begin the day.

Christ Almighty. Picasso was paraphrasing Whistler. Don't you know anything you worthless hack?

Next time someone hands you something it might well be a book of quotations. I suggest you read it.

While Olson's acerbic take on a common practice holds promise, but the execution of the piece doesn't quite measure up. His reliance on profanity, in particular, the repetitive use of the word "fucking," bogs down the piece. Though possessing strong opinions, the protagonist is curiously one-dimensional, and doesn't engender much sympathy from the audience. Pass.

Having written for a few places (ESPN, Entrepreneur, etc.) I can absolutely relate to this article.

Everyone wants to be a writer, but no one wants to learn how to write (I lifted that from an author I can't recall).

As described in the article, it's rarely more than a couple sentences into one of these things before bad syntax, grammar, etc. betrays any notion of competency in a piece of writing, and you're left with wondering "Who the hell EVER told this person they should go near a keyboard?"

The problem isn't just with lay writers; it's rampant in journalism schools as well. There is a grim, wholly delusional egalitarian ideal in today's society that everyone can be an artist.

People occasionally ask me to look at things they've written and I manage to get out of it most of the time. Or, I tell them to submit to web sites (the bane of publishing -- as everyone seems to know someone who knows someone who's 'published' - but the hard truth of it is that a select few of us are equipped to write, just like a few of us are able to tackle nuclear physics, changing the tranny on your '69 Camaro, making your fucking latte, or whatever.

Writing is rare profession that nearly everyone does on a daily, unpaid basis without being paid for it. Hence, the grand sense of delusion with wanting to get into it.

In fact doctors, lawyers, other professionals do plenty of pro bono work.

Everyone faces your dilemma. Try being the lowly neighborhood computer expert if you want people laying guilt on you for help. You don't have to be a self-important comic book re-hasher to feel the pain of being ones brother's keeper.

I trust you did pay the aspiring screenwriter his due for profiting from him as blog fodder?

Perhaps this situation will give you inspiration for an actually original screenplay (once you learn the craft), if anyone will trouble to read it.

As other posters have noted here better than I can, I am dumbfounded at the level of hating here, and appalled at the sense of entitlement.

Perhaps a different analogy would be helpful. Probably not, but worth a try:

I am an IT professional. People ask me all the time for advice about how to fix their computer. I don't mind having a 5-10 minute conversation about their issue, but sometimes people will ask me if I'd mind 'taking a look at it' and seeing if I can figure out what's wrong.

Seriously? You really don't think I have better things to do than be your free tech support? You don't recognize what a completely rude imposition this is, and that you've just put me in a position where you'll think I'm the dick if I say no, which I have every right to do?

Josh's case is the same. Being asked for 10 minutes at a party or on the street is usually not an imposition and that's not what he's railing about. Being asked for HOURS OF TIME to do what we spend years training to get PAID FOR is a gigantic imposition. You're a dickhead for asking, and the fact that WE invariably get treated like the dick for saying no just adds insult to injury.

The people who are so angry at Josh here are MISSING THE POINT on so many levels!

First and most importantly, he didn't tell the guy in the story, "I won't read your fucking screenplay." That would be dickly. Rather, he did what the guy asked, and was treated like he was the dick for it.

Which leads to the second, and most salient, point: you're setting us up to be a dick no matter how we respond. That's not right. Only dicks do that.

Finally, this was a RANT. The frustrated explosion of someone sick of being put in an unfair, uncomfortable position again and again, intended for a (theoretically) sympathetic audience in an intentionally confrontational manner for humorous effect. All of the critisisms of his tone or ego seem completely ignorant of context. Or maybe just dicks.

That's the most times I've said 'dick' since I was 13. It felt great! :)

Writers are pussies.

Will anybody read my scripts :You Remind Me Of My Mother Because You Taste Like Brisket and I'm Not That Into You That's My Medical Instrument.

june and Adam-Troy Castro: Get bent you shitheads.
Yalda: You suck and are full of shit.
Lather, Rinse, Repeat: You are worthless.
David Gerrold: You are full of shit. Your comment sucked. You are out of touch.
Keith: You are clueless.

His point isn't .. "i wont read your fucking screenplay"...the point is "I wont read your fucking screenplay because I can tell you haven't even bothered to take the fucking class". This is the new American Idolization approach to 'breaking into"....anything. People think they can just LAMPREY onto any professional's neck and by some Simon Cowellish magic wand waving, they'll become ...ta dah....the Kelly Clarkson of screenwriters. Mr. Olen isn't talking about destroying the hopes and dreams of newbies. He's talking about not wanting to be Simon Cowell'd to death by the William Hungs of the world. You see how many line up for American Idol who have never even bothered to take ONE singing lesson? Multiply that times a BILLION and thats how many people have screenplay 'ideas' they just have to get into the right hands.
There is a classical tradition of helping people who have talent and drive, who have put in the effort and work. Thats not what Mr. Olsen is talking about here.
There is ANOTHER tradition -- helping Floozie du Jour get her talentless arse into the chorus because you're a director -- but even Floozie had enough brains to know she wasn't getting in that chorus line by asking Mr. Ziegfeld what his 'opinion' of her dancing was. She had to get on her knees if she hadn't bothered to take the classes and had no talent.
So...lets not call Mr. Olsen a dick because he couldn't find the words to tell his "friend" that dicksuckers don't get reviewed.

I don't have a problem with the man's point of view-- in fact, he's correct in his assertion that most amateur writers are terrible and misguided-- I have a problem with his privileged asshole attitude.

Much like an Onion article, the headline is the only funny part-- the actual essay was redundant and pointless and whatever attempt he made at tongue-in-cheek humor was lost amid his unsympathetic rant.

I equate this to something like Prince Charles complaining about the quality of caviar he had for lunch or Alex Rodriguez whining about fans taunting him. In short, no one cares when prima donnas bitch.

I don't see why everyone is getting so mad at Josh. His point is that, regardless of your opinion on his "talent" or learned authority, as a professional, amateur writers are costing him time, money and convenience due to their egotistical and selfish needs. Why should Josh sacrifice his valuable time to placate amateur writers for FREE?? Have they paid a consultant's fee to him? Have they offered any renumeration for his services, which are skilled and recognized in the industry? People pay lawyers, plumbers, executives and mechanics for their time. There is absolutely no good reason he should be beholden to other peoples needs when they demand it for FREE. It's ridiculous.

Good for Josh. People need to recognize his and other professional writers demands and concerns. If you want to really get that create script going, take a film school class or hire a private tutor. Or learn it on your own. Attend a workshop. Don't bother the working writer at a cocktail party. I certainly don't give out free services to random associated people I meet. Jeez, regardless of your opinion of Josh, his point is cogent and valid.

I think we're all missing the point here, people. What if that two-page synopsis he read was flat-out ass-blowingly, knock-your-socks-off, skull-fuckery brilliant? Would we all be reading an article from Josh Olsen right now titled "I Will Read Your Fucking Screenplay"?

Think about it.

That photo of him isn't doing him any favors either. He looks like he poured syrup on his face and tongue-cleaned Bob Hoskins' anus.

TT you are ridiculous. Why don't you suck Olson's dick a little deeper you fucking tool.

Here here. I'm a vet and I'm sick of friends and family asking me to kill their pets for them. And if you do make an honest mistake - well, let's just say I'm unlikely to be invited back to my sister's house this Christmas. So I agree with you Josh, if you've got a talent for murdering puppies guard it jealously.

Will he read all these fucking replies? Of course he will. Because they pertain to Josh Olson. Film is a lot different than advertising, no doubt. But as a Creative Director, I make a point of seeing every portfolio and every individual looking to break into the business. As onerous and time consuming that might be, I feel compelled to do so because once, a thousand years ago, somebody did it for me.

Why am I ridiculous? Which statement did I make is wrong? There isn't one because the counter, the one you are making is that "Everyone should work for FREE."

All I've seen you do is call people names, not make any statement that's anything remotely coherent.

Olson makes a point, not everyone is a good writer. It's not about content or thematics, the script should have strong pro's, exquisite details, and meticulous structure.

I believe a majority of Hollywood screenwriters are talented writers, despite some of the subject matter being poor. They are still writers writing well-structured scripts.

As a filmmaker myself I get a lot of people asking me to read their scripts, and I have done it before, and some of them are difficult to endure.

However I don't want to discourage anyone, if you have a script you believe is awesome, go for it. Just don't expect a Hollywood studio will read it. Produce it on your own and raise money for it. When you produce a script on your own, the script and writing doesn't need to be top-notch. Just remember, there are so many horrible movies out there. If you have a dream and passion, just go for it.

-Robert Joseph Butler (Writer, Director, Producer)

Will he read all these fucking replies? Of course he will. Because they pertain to Josh Olson. Film is a lot different than advertising, no doubt. But as a Creative Director, I make a point of seeing every portfolio and every individual looking to break into the business. As onerous and time consuming that might be, I feel compelled to do so because once, a thousand years ago, somebody did it for me.

Olson makes a point, not everyone is a good writer. It's not about content or thematics, the script should have strong pro's, exquisite details, and meticulous structure.

I believe a majority of Hollywood screenwriters are talented writers, despite some of the subject matter being poor. They are still writers writing well-structured scripts.

As a filmmaker myself I get a lot of people asking me to read their scripts, and I have done it before, and some of them are difficult to endure.

However I don't want to discourage anyone, if you have a script you believe is awesome, go for it. Just don't expect a Hollywood studio will read it. Produce it on your own and raise money for it. When you produce a script on your own, the script and writing doesn't need to be top-notch. Just remember, there are so many horrible movies out there. If you have a dream and passion, just go for it.

-Robert Joseph Butler (Writer, Director, Producer)

Josh -

Did you really compare yourself to Picasso? HOV wasn't that good, brother. Keep smokin.

i have a shit job in the industry and holy shit this had me laughing, because even with my shit job i am put upon to read script after shitty script of friends, neighbors and acquaintances. Guh. I am too afraid to post this article on facebook because i have about 3 outstanding scripts on my night table from FB "Friends".

A-Fucking-Men.

Sounds like some people have major anger issues. WOW.

This is hilarious and a little sad.

This is some very hard honesty, sir, very necessary. I'm only just begun my writing career (if you can call it that yet) and already I have my share of requests to read material for critique. My more experienced friends have learned the high art of saying "no." I'll have that same dilemma one day if I'm lucky. Glad to see you've mastered it. Snarky, but mastered. :-)

I understand the point of this article, but wouldn't it make more sense to recommend the person find a *paid* editor or agent that will read and work with them on their script, and explain you simply do not have the time? Isn't there a way of escaping being an ***hole?

I'm a housewife. I get this all the time too. Some working moms seem to think they can ask me to pick up their sick kids from school, take over the volunteer job they committed to but now don't think they have time for, etc. They believe my time has no value because I don't get paid for it.

Here's a news flash for them. It's my time, not theirs; and I did pay for it. I worked until I was thirty-five. But unlike them, I invested instead of spending so I could stop working at some point. While they were living in mortgaged McMansions and driving sleek autos, I was living in a lovely cottage and driving an old pickup truck while my investments grew. They chose their life of exciting career days and I chose mine of iced tea on the porch with a good novel and long giggly lunches with the other housewives.

So no, I don't want to pick up careermom's flu-ish kid from school so she doesn't have to miss that important meeting. I'm planning to spend the afternoon taking a bubble bath, walking my dogs, and writing romantic horror stories I expect will never sell.

Bravo, Joshua! My dear, dear Hollywood friend! If only most of these lowly, insignificant buffoons knew what it was like to be you and I. Two giants of the industry whom have neither the time nor patience to be inundated with their piddling dreck. But, alas, they shall never know the truth to our suffering.

Why, when I was rejected by USC's prestigious film program did I expect a handout from the Dean of Admissions? No! I enrolled at the local community college and went on to create the cinematic masterpiece that is Truck (or Duel, I can't remember, I was high during most of the 70s). And I did it all by myself! As I know you, the second mightiest of all film titans, pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps as well!

Oh, to be us!

Steven Spielberg

By the by, I've got this two-page synopsis of an epic tale I'm really looking to flesh out. What do you say, mind giving it a read?

Is this real? Sounds like an Onion piece to me, only not very funny.

Well, lots of good points made, but I think Olson might have written a different article if the new "writer" had expressed some appreciation for the critique and acknowledged he actually had paid attention to what it said.

After just wading through one of the worst novels I've ever read, I couldn't agree more. As a novelist, what I get is, "Will you please blurb my book?" Meaning, the book that they have yet to solicit an agent for. Or the book they is being self-published.

Now, there are some excellent self-published novels out there. And some great manuscripts that have yet to find representation. But unless I know you personally (and like you) and you're more than just an acquaintance, I simply don't have the time. And although not all authors agree with this, I won't blurb a book that I didn't like. Just won't do it. If my name is on it, I liked the book.
So I usually say, "sure, send it along. But I'm absolutely swamped right now and might not find the time."
Because you know what? I am swamped. I have the same piles, and another one for researching whatever book I'm currently working on. Add that to the fact that I have a life, and little free time to wade through those piles. So when I feel obligated to read something by someone who does meet the other criteria, and it STILL turns out to be a piece of crap, it is insanely frustrating. I want back the five hours of my life that I wasted on that terrible book. And no, I won't be blurbing it.

Oh, all right, I will pick up your swine flu child just this once. But only because I'm not as big a jerk as I wish I was. Lucky screenwriter guy. After this national rant no one will ever bother him again. Wonder if that'd work for me? Maybe something in the PTA newsletter?

I'm a professional internet developer and am occasionally asked for advice or code. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no. But I can't imagine being so self-absorbed and snotty that I would talk to people the way this overrated comic-book hack does.

If I ever do, may I get punched in the face.

I only know I wouldn't ask anyone I barely know (or anyone I REALLY know) to read my portfolio outside of a professional situation so I would hope no one would do the same. The kind of anger or frustration Mr. Olsen feels would be my reactive as well. Don't be dicks, people.

What a lesson for all who've read it, but also what a beautiful, valuable, lesson for you Josh...
In claiming that you deserve to have boundaries for yourself, and learning how to house them healthfully...
In valuing yourself and your time...
In co-dependency...
In taking care of yourself, and knowing that automatically means that's also what's best for the other, whether they or you see it or not...
In learning how to say "No," and learning that it doesn't need to be "NO!"... (but it can if you want/need it to be)...

I so inerstand this personally with what I do for a living as well...
I'm happy this man you speak of had this experience....
I'm happy for all who've read it...
and I'm happy for your having this experience, because I'm damn sure you'll be better off from now on because of it...
good stuff

peace love
:)

Josh is a hero for saying in public what professional writers routinely complain about to each other. It's our dirty not-so-secret. Yes, we hate reading your shit. We really, really hate it. No one read our shit when we were first starting out. Some of us wrote for years in a bubble before we even dared join a writing group with a bunch of other shitty fledgling writers. None of us EVER had the audacity to send our early shitty scripts to actual working professionals, even when we were acquainted with them. Of course, real writers know when their work is ready for professional eyes, crappy writers never do.

And yes, we hate it even more if you're our brother in law or that kind of hot friend of our friend that we've been crushing on for awhile. So if you're one of those, pretty please don't ask us.

If we think you're funny or you impress us in some other way or we tune into your blog or read some essay you had published or are dragged to a staged reading of your one-act play and happen to think it doesn't completely suck .... WE WILL ASK to read your screenplay.

Because this is how it worked for us when we were starting out. You work, you write, you rewrite, you wait. You work some more. There is no magic button, there is no secret handshake. You don't get to skip steps. If you do this for ten years and no professional acquaintance asks to read your screenplay, go get your massage therapy license and have a great life outside of the business.

If you think you have it rough as a screenwriter, try being a physician. People who have known you for 5 seconds will pull the same stunt and try to get some free medical advice. I don't mind giving free care or medical advice. I do it all the time; however, it has to be my decision when and where to do this, not yours. I think this is the main point the writer was trying to make.

"He was submitting the synopsis to some contest or program, and wanted to get a professional opinion."

So, this was someone looking to get into a program to better themselves, and learn the craft. He wasn't even hoping to sell a movie, or get an "in", like you rambled on about for 2 pages?

Your rant had surprisingly little to do with the scenario you set up.

If you want to vent, just vent, but stay on target at least.

It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you're in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you're dealing with someone who can't.

Ain't this the truth?

I wish I had read this years ago.

Writers should join or form critique groups and read each other

Josh,

H.L. Mencken you are not.

Next.

John

Mr. Olson seems to forget that at some point, every screenwriter has had to ask the question, "will you read my screenplay?" I'm sure even our friend Josh here had to ask a favor of someone along the way.

I don't believe in mentoring half-assed efforts, but I do believe in mentoring serious people who have the drive to make something of value. No one is born a great writer. It takes talent, dedication, work, and -- say it with me -- favors from people who know what they are donig.

Mr. Olson seems to forget that at some point, every screenwriter has had to ask the question, "will you read my screenplay?" I'm sure even our friend Josh here had to ask a favor of someone along the way.

I don't believe in mentoring half-assed efforts, but I do believe in mentoring serious people who have the drive to make something of value. No one is born a great writer. It takes talent, dedication, work, and -- say it with me -- favors from people who know what they are doing.

I lose count of the times I've gotten grief for being "arrogant" and a "hack" and a "dick" because I didn't to leap at the opportunity to make my time, skills, experience and equipment available for free and with no questions asked, to a newbie with a "totally awesome idea for a film," usually involving some combination of ninjas, zombies, vampires, gangsters or a shirtless loser writhing alone to heavy metal music in his dark apartment because his girlfriend dumped him.

A superb read. As the son of a successful screenwriter (1965 foreign movie Oscar winner), I understand the frustration at the bloody cheek of these aspiring geniuses. I'm a jazz musician and record producer and I will not listen to your fucking demo :-) Learn your craft, take the knocks, put the time into paying your dues and you won't need anyone to read your magnum opus!

Clearly he won't read most scripts from most commenters here because you take yourselves entirely too seriously. For all of you who think that the writer is serious, THIS IS CLEARLY SATIRE!!! While it is true that he probably won't read your fucking script, I'm sure he wouldn't be so harsh in telling you so.

No, I will not watch your fucking movies. I feel dirty after reading this tripe.

And this translates into so many other professional areas. You are so fucking right!

And this translates into so many other professional areas. You are so fucking right!

Some Box Office numbers for Josh....

On the Border - 1998 -TV Movie- $0 Box Office

Hitman's Run - 1999 - TV/DVD - $0 Box Office

A Moment of Silence-2000- Short $0 Box Office

Puppy Love -2001 - Short - $0 Box Office

Instinct to Kill-Direct to DVD- $0 Box Office

Infested - Direct to DVD - $0 Box Office

A History of Violence - 2005 - $31,504,633

(**note Production Budget: $32 million**)

The Discarded - 2007 - TV - $0 Box Office (back to normal)

The numbers really do speak for themselves.

The lesson???

DO NOT ALLOW JOSH OLSON TO READ YOUR SCRIPT!!

Well, Josh. All I can say is a true professional does what he does with a good attitude. Furthermore, a truly professional and intelligent person doesn't have to use such language to get their point across.
Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean that someone else won't. Look at Pineappe Express, I thought was a waste of time, but it made good box office. You of all people should have the vision to see beyond what you like personally to see what is commercial. That is why this art is a business and vice versa.
A true professional gives back to those aspiring what others gave to them when they were aspiring in their profession. Why didn't you help the guy rewrite it if you took so much time on it? Helping to improve it would have proved your abilities and helped this guy. That would have been admirable and maybe took less time than you spent roughing it up. Maybe they are right about you and I hope I never find myself treating someone as bad as you did when you have the talent to help do a rewrite to something wonderful. Takes more energy to bitch than to make something better. Your wasted time is your own fault. Good luck to you and I hope you become more gracious instead of a primadonna.

Well, Josh. All I can say is a true professional does what he does with a good attitude. Furthermore, a truly professional and intelligent person doesn't have to use such language to get their point across.
Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean that someone else won't. Look at Pineappe Express, I thought was a waste of time, but it made good box office. You of all people should have the vision to see beyond what you like personally to see what is commercial. That is why this art is a business and vice versa.
A true professional gives back to those aspiring what others gave to them when they were aspiring in their profession. Why didn't you help the guy rewrite it if you took so much time on it? Helping to improve it would have proved your abilities and helped this guy. That would have been admirable and maybe took less time than you spent roughing it up. Maybe they are right about you and I hope I never find myself treating someone as bad as you did when you have the talent to help do a rewrite to something wonderful. Takes more energy to bitch than to make something better. Your wasted time is your own fault. Good luck to you and I hope you become more gracious instead of a primadonna.

For those of you who manage to get this far down in the comments, Mr. Olson's diatribe does reflect one of the great problems here in Hollywood. He is another example of the self-aggrandizing mediocre talents who professes to be omniscient. He reflects his immaturity in this expletive filled story of selfishness.

I have a twenty-plus year resume in the film business and I too am often approached with requests by writers to read their screenplays. My response is professional:

It will take me 2 hours to read your screenplay and one hour to write a critique. My hourly rate is $200 an hour. Pay me $600 and I will read your screenplay.

That settles the issue really fast without insults, scorn, or expletives.

Ducky, stop plagiarizing poor David Hodge.

Anyway, it seems that a lot of people here don't understand the difference between a personal conversation and a published article. (Or maybe they usually can, but lose their perspective when they're reminded that their own writing isn't selling?)

If the alleged venal author had titled his piece "I'm terribly sorry, but although I wish you well I cannot commit to reading your script at this time" and filled it with "never give up" platitudes, it would have been read by about a hundred people -- sorry, this is the new Voice, make that thirty -- and getting through the comments would take about a minute and a half.

But because he wrote an effective piece instead, he has won that treasure of the new world: angry commenters.

Dear Josh:

tl:dr

~pmk

I think there's got to be some middle ground here, but I'm inclined to side with Mr. Olson.

In a polite world, Mr. Olson would, as one poster suggested, just say, "I can't right now, sorry," and let it die. (Hold firm on the "I can't" if wannabe persists.)

And, yes, I do think the person who comes to you with an unreasonable request is the one being a dick.

I'm a professional speaker. It galls me when people stop me after a speech to tell me how great I was, and then follow it up with, "We'd love to have you speak at our [organization]. We can't pay you, but I think our [employees/students/whoever] need to hear this."

So I'm totally w/ Mr. Olson on this. The last guy to say the above to me was an architect. I should've asked him to design my next house or remodel for free.

Jascha Kessler, you forgot to mention to the writer the two flaws in this sentence:

"It is no different than asking your friend the house painter to paint your living room during his off hours."

Mr. Olson, you should have written, "...no different from..." and "...off-hours...".

May I copyedit your future fucking blogs?
-iM

Sorry folks but I have to agree with Josh on this one. I have seen so many writers try to take shortcuts, no school, don't bother to learn the craft...yet they expect a friend of a friend of a friend in the industry to read their script.

Or they'll turn on their charm and think they can schmooze them. But what they don't realize is that they know it when it's schmoozing and sucking up. They know when they're going to pop the question. They see it coming like a premature ejaculation. But they don't care. They've been working on this great script for at least 4 months, it's their time. And then the innocent victim/professional in the industry agrees to read it. But what these schmoozers don't realize is that their script ended up in a pile, soon to be recycled.

You want to be a professional writer. Then go to school, pay your dues, meaning...write. Then rewrite. Then rewrite that fucking script again. Then write another script.

Then test the waters, bounce ideas off your mentors (aka writing instructors)....but don't be surprised if they don't put you in the same priority slot as they did when you were a student.

Then shop around for an agent. And let the agent be the one to tell you that your script is outdated or the studios just greenlighted a project just like yours.

Then pick yourself up and dust your fragile ego off and sit down and write another script. If that's what you really enjoy. Writing, that is.

As one commenter wrote:Mr. Olson seems to forget that at some point, every screenwriter has had to ask the question, "will you read my screenplay?"

That wreaks of entitlement. I've never ASKED anybody to read my screenplays. Never.

Because of you really are a good writer, I believe your work will sell itself, with or without people like Josh.

HEY, JOSH. YOUR COMIC BOOK ADAPTATION DOESN'T MAKE YOU A REAL WRITER, ANY MORE THAN SHITTING MAKES YOU A REAL PERSON. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SELF-IMMOLATE BEFORE, BY IGNITING HIS OWN GAS.

I thought this was hilarious and spot on.

And I think it's obvious that most of the detractors commenting here are people who just have this perfect idea for a movie but no one will listen to them. Poor sweethearts.

1. I'm appalled at the rudeness and vitriolic tone of these comments directed not just at Mr. Olson, but at other posters. Something tells me that if y'all were face-to-face, you wouldn't be making such violent threats.

Cowards, hiding behind your computers.

2. There are paid script doctors, editors, reviewers who could help the wannabes nicely.

I've had my fair share of help up the ladder, and for that I'm grateful. But pestering a guy I hardly know? No, not gonna do it.

What a twatastic douche-aholic!

Oh, and I also just removed "A History of Violence" from my Netflix cue, so you can kiss THAT four cents goodbye!

I thought History of Violence should have been called Waste of Eight Dollars. Maybe you should have had some self-important douche read it beforehand. Could have saved us both alot of time.

Amen.

Some hard truths for both parties

A) Even if Josh LOVED the script there probably wasn't anything he could have done to assist him. There are only a handful of people who can actually make a career at the snap of their fingers. Olson isn't one of them. The absolute best he could do would be to get him a read at an agency with no guarantee that they'd actually sign the writer.

B) If your career strategy is to rely on random acquaintances, then you really need to rethink things. The guy should have already been hard at work as an assistant or a mail room clerk or a crew member. That way you get to meet about 10 Josh Olsons a year.

C) There are already people out there who will read your script and give you notes. They're called readers. I'll read for anyone who will pay my fee and it's not a million dollars. It is upfront because chances are you're not going to like what I have to say.

D) The writer in this story blew it in more ways than one. In this business you can make millions just by collecting enough names in your Rolodex. He can now scratch Josh Olson's name off that list.

And just to be clear, I was saying "Amen" to the "I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script", not to the "Waste of Eight Dollars" comment...

I can't decide if Josh Olson is a well-meaning guy that has just had enough or an ungrateful, self-righteous douchebag that has become oblivious to his own bullshit.

" the story really ended the moment he handed me the goddamn synopsis. "

Exactly. You don't really care about giving it an honest chance. You only care about you.

Way to overreact there, Mr. Academy Award Nominee.

I kind of agree with what P.T. said there, haha.

I really like this article, mostly because it's humerous but I do agree with a lot of what Olson says. The only thing is, I (and a number of my friends) actually would/do perform favors for one another using our 'professional' skills. And it sounds like he does as well since he has a pile of scripts for friends... so is he really against that? I'm confused because he has a pile of scripts he DID agree to read from friends, but then says it's the same as asking your painter friend if he will paint your livingroom.

So is this article about actual friends or just people like the guy in his story who aren't really friends but just acquaintances?

Either way, I'm guess it IS just that he's had enough since most people probably don't get asked to share their professional opinion/help nearly as much as he probably does.

wow what a cunt.

Anonymous...I disagree with you on that one. Josh said that the 'writer" and I use that term losely was trying to get into a contest or program.

Then the writer had no business asking Josh to read a 2 page synopsis.

That's what the program and classrooms are for.

I agree with George Grossman.

I met Josh at the WGA for a writers lecture. . But I met him through his wife. She and I talked for about 20 minutes about kids, working women, etc. I had no idea who she was until he came over and she introduced us. We talked about 10 minutes more. About kids, Hollywood....everything but my scripts.

Then again, I didn't ask him to read my fucking script. That's what agents are for.

Well said, Josh!

Anyone who can stir up this much heat with a simple, one-point, two-page essay is clearly one heck of a writer!

On behalf of all writers who have yet to master our confrontation skills, I thank you from the bottom of my well-thumbed journal.

Writing is hard work. It takes years to feel a sense of mastery, and then years after that to REALLY master the craft. 95% of all screenplays ever written aren't worth the paper they're printed on, let alone the time it takes to read and comment on them.

The answer to all those aspiring screenwriters seeking feedback is TAKE A CLASS (or ten!). Your teacher and fellow students will give you more feedback than you'll ever want to hear, and your scripts will be better as a result.

Thanks again, Josh. Keep on writing and keep on grinning.

It isn't that I disagree with the core message. As a writer, I don't trust other writers to read my stuff if I don't know them. I don't care if they're famous or might have written a book or two that I liked, I simply don't need their input. Whatever I write is ultimately accepted or rejected or revisions are suggested by the entity that is either going to publish it, or by someone who will pitch it to such an entity.

If I want input on my work I have a very small circle of literary types that can give me feedback.

That being said, this article wasted a good deal of my time. It wasn't clever. It wasn't funny. It was arrogant and petty. It was an excuse to use harsh language, and an attempt to impress the reader that the author is so important that he deserves the right to be a bastard.

Mr. Olsen, my opinion will not mean anything to you, and I doubt that you'll read it. But in case you do, don't come undone when I tell you that you are a coward. If you tell me that, upon your first or second rejection, you didn't react exactly like the person to whom you agonizingly recommended writing classes, then you would be lying. I certainly did, and so did every single published writer I know.

The non-cowardly thing to do, upon receiving the "thanks for your opinion" email, would have been to chuckle and write back, wishing him the best of luck. And then, to have never written this article trashing him, whoever he is, would have also been non-cowardly. As for me, I wish the guy luck. If he is to become a writer, then he won't have listened to you anyway.

I'm amazed by all the people who applaud Olson's crass, passive aggressive tirade. As a lawyer, people approach me with questions and problems all the time. If I want to help them for free, I do it. Having chosen to do so, I wouldn't think of criticizing them publicly.

If I don't want to help them for free, I thank them, invite them to meet with me at my office to discuss their problem, and tell them my hourly rate. They can decide if the matter is worth it to them or not.

If someone thinks I'm a dick because I don't work for them for free, so what? I'm not running for office.

- If you don't understand Josh Olson's commentary here ... you're not a writer. If you still think you are, either get yourself an agent or wait until someone notices your own genius.

Josh,

You really nailed this issue. I am a writer, and I have been since I was a teenager. I have to admit, the pieces I wrote when I was young were all over the place, and nothing really made sense! But then I took a writing class one summer, and I realized that I had a talent. The teacher read a piece and told me it was a great story, but it needed more "structure", and she showed me how to pull it together.
That was when I was 15; I'm now 30, and I teach writing classes to teenagers myself. It is so hard to tell someone that they really can't write, and maybe they should try something else.

However, I don't think I would have wasted my time after the guy sent me an e-mail saying, "read this one!". You have more patience then I do lol!

So now that I have told my life story, could you read this script for my boyfriend's sister's friend's brother?? Because you haven't heard that comment from everyone here, I'm sure!

I think where you went wrong right off the bad Josh is that you should have told him you'd charge him to read his script and if the guy didn't want to pay which is very likely you'd never had to deal with him again. Editors get paid money just like writers, artists, production people, administrative people, etc.

So what u tryin to say? u dont wanna read my script...lol!

Try this:

"No, thank you. I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"I haven't probed the matter. I don't want to. If I wanted to, I would, but I don't want to."

This works for almost every situation to which you are not contractually obligated.

I am astounded by the arrogance, stupidity, and fury of the people bashing Josh Olson, telling him that his success in screenwriting isn't the result of hard work and talent, but is an "entitlement." And that by not reading their scripts he is an ungrateful asshole. If anything, these people are proving, repeatedly and vividly, the point he made so well.

Lee

Writer or not a writer, I can recognize a dickhead when I see one.

If you don't want to read a script for someone, just make an excuse like "They all have to go through my agent, want his email address?" - there's no need to say "I won't read your fucking script."

I agree that 99% of the scripts presented are dreadful, however looking over a script is NOT the same as asking a painter friend to paint your house. Painting requires physical exertion, reading does not.

As John B. commented above, getting help from other writers is what leads writers to be successful and that's why he helps out others.

About 8 years ago I was doing some construction work on a house owned by Eric Roth. Mr. Roth brought me a coffee and asked about my university studies. We talked about writers we both liked and I said to him that I was thinking of writing something. He encouraged me, gave me great feedback on my ideas and then told me "if you ever need some feedback I'd be more than glad to help." (Coincidentally, if Mr. Roth asked me to help paint his house I would because of his prior kindness - see how this works Mr. Olson?)

Mr. Roth is roughly a million times more successful than Olson, but the biggest difference I guess is that Mr. Roth isn't a self-centered dick.

Help out your fellow man, the world will be a better place for it.

(Also, isn't "one of the 20 Best Straight to Video Movies ever made" a fantastic back-handed compliment? It's like being awarded the best inedible chili in a cook-off.)

Josh who?

dear josh,

i am fat, a virgin, and would like to have sex with your dog. please contact asap.

~suzumebachi

dear josh,

i am fat, a virgin, and would like to have sex with your dog. please contact asap.

~suzumebachi

I own and run a successful independent studio. I even met and shook hands with Olsen many years ago at a WGA event and congratulated him on his success as a writer.

However, I am appalled by this article and I would instantly throw Olsen out of my studio if he ever approached me.

Even though there is alot of truth to Olsen's words, the way he depicts himself in this article is far from professional and comes off more as a child with a temper tantrum who was forced to read a bad book.

There are many more constructive ways to tell writer their works are not up to snuff. Whenever I have to reject a script, I always give honest and constructive criticism. In fact, one of the films we finished a while back was from a writer I rejected in the past and was surprised he really upped his game.

I still respect Olsen as a writer, but now I think he's a despicable person. The industry needs less people like him.

It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you're in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you're dealing with someone who can't.

and that's the sentence where i realized that you can't.

I get it. You won't read my screenplay. But I feel the need to say this: You also have no class.

So you won't read someone's "fucking" script (how PERSONAL is that???) but you'll read the ones your friends wrote??? That's nepotism and hypocrisy. Yes, there are bad writers and bad scripts out there, the world is flooded with them. You could also bite the head off someone really talented. Just remember you were once one of those new writers desperately trying to get a break. So have some respect.

You know I get it. I hate reading OPS, too, but this tirade might have had some real substance to it if the author was a half way decent screenwriter.

Sadly, History of Violence was one of the most awful movies ever made. My only advice to Mr. Olsen would be to read some really good screenwriters-- and believe me they won't be offended.

You won't read my script.Thank God for that.

Weird Jim

"In return for you not asking me to read your fucking script, I will not ask you to wash my fucking car..."

That's not patronizing. What a dick this guy is.

I agree 100% with Josh's house-painter example. Work is work whether it's physical or mental. And you can't get those hours back.

My husband's a plumber. My friend's a graphic designer. I'm a professional writer. We've all been cornered by people who think it's perfectly fine to ask us to donate our time for free. And then, they're surprised and "hurt" when/if we say no.

Josh is right. You're considered a dick no matter what.

You probably shouldn't read all of these fucking comments, either.

But seriously, good article about your occupational hazard. One that I wouldn't mind having, by the way.

Now I'm supposed to pay some onanist for advice on my superior writing skills? This blog is clearly a commercial sales endeavour for the poster boy. What a shame the internet fails to allow him to float his boat as intended. Now theres a worthwhile concept: Intent!

Cronenberg speaks out against Olson

http://hollywoodroaster.wordpress.com/

Thought so too. That sentence rubbed me the wrong way. I had to mull over it a moment to really see why.

Let me just chime in here for a moment. I'm a working screenwriter. I have some credits and I also have a few projects currently in development.

I've known about Josh, and his infamous attitude and grumpiness towards other people, for years now.

It appears nothing has changed.

He's pissed off a lot of influential people since he won an Oscar, and it amazes me that studios are still willing to cut him a check from time to time.

Let me also add that the only way I broke into Hollywood was because someone took the time out to read my script. The only way that happened - was because I asked.

Boy, I'm sure glad it wasn't Josh.

While I get the spirit in which Josh wrote this - it still was a silly thing to do. And I'm glad Josh represents a very small minority of egotistical screenwriters.

Never stop writing - and never stop asking people to read your script.

Fine, fine, don't read it... But, did you have to announce it publicly? Damn! What a waste of time, I should have had sex with the other guy... I feel so violated, I can't believe I went down on you... and I can't believe you don't want to read my intergalactic vampire musical... it's brilliant, brilliant I tell you!

Of all the plagues visited upon Hollywood none is more onerous than Josh Olson.

SB

Josh did not win an Oscar. He was nominated and lost.

Picasso????

What Josh Olsen leaves out about that story - the part about how Picasso was, in fact, one of the most humongous assholes in art history.

Oh, the woes of a pro screenwriter. Being forced to read other people's work.

Boo fucking Hoo.

Oscar Nominated Screenwriter Lacks Creativity To Lie To Friends.

What a cunt.

"Let me also add that the only way I broke into Hollywood was because someone took the time out to read my script. The only way that happened - was because I asked."

Hey SB,

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama

I think people would respect him more if he explained kindly that he doesn't have the time. I know I would. Too much ego is the most disgusting trait a person could ever possess.

Dear Josh,

I liked your movie. I would recommend it to friends. I would not, however, recommend you to friends.

You are a whiny Hollywood bitch. I tried to read your little screed here, but I couldn't finish it. You see, the title alone tells me everything I need to know. The rest is a waste of time. The rest it "poor me, I suffer so much under the burden of my success, everyone should feel sorry for me because I have so much to do that I can't possibly complete it".

Guess what? Everyone in the fucking universe has too much to do. But not everyone has the time to bloviate about it for nearly 2000 words. Get the fuck over yourself.

I will not read your fucking column. I have too much to do.

I think you're absolutely right. Most people do just want a 'pat on the head'. If this guy was professional, he would have said "thanks for your opinion" and meant it and not bad mouthed you to someone else. That's the real issue. I love to read good 'anything'. Bad stuff though - ugh, I have no patience for.

Fuck Josh Olson.

Just another asshole Jew that should have exterminated back in the 40's.

I WILL read your screenplay and for $500, I will tell you what I think in a concise 2 page review.

I have been a WGA member for 15 years. I have sold Feature and TV projects every year for 15 years. I have worked for almost every major studio and network. I will not B.S. you and I will give you the practical and constructive notes you need to make your script better. After that, it's up to you.

ScriptReview@gmail.com

Thanks for this. I'm not a professional screenwriter, but I've always looked upon the 'read my script' folks as largely the same as the guy who finds out his diner party companion is a dentist, so wants him to check his molars. Picture the wide mouth, finger hooked in the side pulling the mouth into a huge gaping maw, craning back to try and expose his gullet to the entire world. That's you, script in hand.

And Mitch, it's not scripts that Olsen is talking about, he's talking about UNSOLICITED scripts.

"So you won't read someone's "fucking" script (how PERSONAL is that???) but you'll read the ones your friends wrote??? That's nepotism and hypocrisy"

Wow. Really bizarre logic.

Exactly what kind of friends do you think provided those scripts on Josh Olson's bedside? Random folks on his street? Or people who are his colleagues in his business, whose work is not a waste of his time? People who have EARNED their claim on his time, by more than distant relationship?

This entire thread is about half people who get it, and half people who don't. The people who don't are the reason so many professional writers won't look at the work of wannabes. You're nuts. You want the keys to the kingdom, but have so much contempt for the process that you're not capable of using them.

Two points: all that direct to video crap Olson wrote? All that stuff so many of you have had such a great time mocking? They're exemplars of a phenomenon that all of the entitled whiners don't understand: which is to say, they're him paying his dues. They're the equivalent of the Beatles spending half of their time as a group playing dives for shit money. Unless you're lucky enough to get discovered at 18, rocket to the top, and stay there, THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT; you don't find somebody who's already gotten there and demand a leg up, not if you haven't bothered to learn your craft yet.

This is, by the way, not new. Mark Twain wrote an essay on the very same subject and was just as acerbic about the colossal imposition and waste of time it was. It has been pointed out, in response to all the folks who attack A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, that the message of his article is valid whether that movie was a good one or a bad one; and if you still take the position that it's a shit movie or a bad movie or the worst movie ever made or off your netflix list forever because you don't like Josh's use of the F word, well, okay, that's the way you roll. Do you have the same answer for Twain, who ALSO didn't have the time for whining wannabees? You gonna say that nothing he wrote was any good?

This is not (forestalling the inevitable kneejerk response by by idiots) a comparison of Olson to Twain any more than Olson was calling himself a creator on the level of Picasso. It is a simple question.

I am not a screenwriter but I am a paid professional songwriter and recording artist. As such, I get the same thing only it's the "Please listen to my demo" routine. I tell them the truth, unvarnished and completely without any gentleness. They want my expertise, they get it. "These lyrics are terrible, and I'll tell you exactly why." I will go on at some length.

If they have any real talent and any real drive to "make it", it won't kill them. They'll enjoy the pain. Because I am helping them be better songwriters. And if that's what you want to do, it is worth the pain. Anyone who doesn't want the pain, doesn't want what it earns.

I'm repeating this for people who have trouble understanding. That pain you are feeling from the feedback you are hearing? It is like the pain you feel when you break the 200 lbs. mark on the bench press. It is the pain of getting stronger, of getting better. If feedback DOESN'T hurt like hell, somewhere in there, it's probably 75% likely to be utter bullshit. The only compliments that matter are the ones you get from the most heartless, callous bastard in your field who you know doesn't give a shit about you, who says "Yeah, this is actually kind of interesting. Keep at it." I bask in that sort of thing from my betters.

I wonder if Josh Olsen, when dialogues are exchanged in concern with script advising, clearly explicates the very dilemma in question.
I'm sure if Josh said something like "as you can imagine I get asked this a lot, this makes me feel stressed and pressured, along with the fact that I have my own career... ". People would begin to understand where he's coming from.

Maybe 'budding' scriptwriters wouldn't pose this sort of catch 22, where you're a dick if you say no, and you're a dick if you give honest feedback, if when saying no/yes he explained why to the person. Better yet, he could say that he'll give it a read 'in due time'. In the meantime, the writer should go consult other people. There are of course, other professionals you can consult apart from screenwriters.

Does Josh forget writing his first screenplays? each word feels like your child, you can't help but take any criticism to heart. Not being able to do this does not mean you aren't or shouldn't be a 'writer'. This has all got to do with personality, not static intrinsic 'genius' that can't be learned. Anyway, i'm sure there are esteemed writers out there who still cannot cope with criticism, but continue to develop the more they write.
Why can't you in turn, show a little empathy, Josh. Of course the writer's going to get defensive when you critique their work. I think it's Josh that's got to also toughen up a bit too. Maybe his foreword when giving out feedback should be about his own experience recieving criticism. How it's not a target at the writer themself, rather their piece.

I have a feeling Josh would never follow my advice.. and moreover he doesn't really want people to become better writers... he'd rather keep his techniques and knowledge to himself. Many practicing in any sort of skills based field (particularly artistic), see it as being competitive. There is no vision to make the field 'better', or to expand... it's all about our own personal pursuits.

Perhaps with all the brouhaha about what a real writer is, this is all just one arm of Josh's exploding pent up frustration about all the 'low brow' writers out there, as if to make a screenplay that get's funded has to be witty as fuck. Excuse me, hollywood defies this many times. Indeed most of the films shown here in Australia, are dumbed down, plotless, cliche horrid films, from the same country that dishes out the most prestigious film awards. What i'm getting at, is that when there's money involved, theirs always contradictions. Yeah ok, Josh says 'write a good script'. Well, perhaps he can write a 'good script' because he's part of the machine that dictates what is a good script (i.e. oscar worthy), what's a good film but at the same time, what's predictable film but will surely make a profit.

Mr. Olson,

This post is disgusting. I absolutely agree with you that writers are also readers, but as a reader you should know how to give feedback. It's not difficult. I've read many a two page synopsis and managed to give informative and specific feedback without a) having to rewrite an inordinate number of drafts, b) settling on a dismissive brush off, or c) bitching about how inconvenienced I was and launching into a personal attack on someone and then sending it out to millions on the Internet. Classy.

Somebody read something you wrote at some point in your life. And now that you've achieved some measure of success, you're pissing on anyone who seeks your professional opinion. The problem here is that you don't have a professional opinion. Only a juvenile sense of indignation, an inability to articulate a reasoned response, and a desperate need to justify it all with an self-inflating, ugly, useless rant in which you list off some vague credentials. Were you born with this magnificent ability to string together soul-shaking synopses? I'm willing to bet that someone gave you some decent advice at some point, and didn't resort to publishing some pitiful smear campaign.

It's tough that people expect you to perform on cue, but as you point out, you've spent years honing your craft. Too bad you're unable utilize this ability when asked to do so. My advice to you would be to learn how to decline a script properly or learn to give PROFESSIONAL feedback - even if approached by a non-professional. After all, you are the expert here - as you seem to have ascertained. This bullshit is one of the most unprofessional displays by a writer I have ever seen. And I've seen some real crap on parade.

Finally, I would like to point out that you could also be more economical in your self-righteous whining and just say, "I will not read your script." You should reserve the word "fuck" for when you need it. For example: fuck you.

Mr. Olson,

This post is disgusting. I absolutely agree with you that writers are also readers, but as a reader you should know how to give feedback. It's not difficult. I've read many a two page synopsis and managed to give informative and specific feedback without a) having to rewrite an inordinate number of drafts, b) settling on a dismissive brush off, or c) bitching about how inconvenienced I was and launching into a personal attack on someone and then sending it out to millions on the Internet. Classy.

Somebody read something you wrote at some point in your life. And now that you've achieved some measure of success, you're pissing on anyone who seeks your professional opinion. The problem here is that you don't have a professional opinion. Only a juvenile sense of indignation, an inability to articulate a reasoned response, and a desperate need to justify it all with an self-inflating, ugly, useless rant in which you list off some vague credentials. Were you born with this magnificent ability to string together soul-shaking synopses? I'm willing to bet that someone gave you some decent advice at some point, and didn't resort to publishing some pitiful smear campaign.

It's tough that people expect you to perform on cue, but as you point out, you've spent years honing your craft. Too bad you're unable utilize this ability when asked to do so. My advice to you would be to learn how to decline a script properly or learn to give PROFESSIONAL feedback - even if approached by a non-professional. After all, you are the expert here - as you seem to have ascertained. This bullshit is one of the most unprofessional displays by a writer I have ever seen. And I've seen some real crap on parade.

Finally, I would like to point out that you could also be more economical in your self-righteous whining and just say, "I will not read your script." You should reserve the word "fuck" for when you need it. For example: fuck you.

'pursue your real talent, whatever that may be. And, for the record, everybody has one. The lucky ones figure out what that is.'

What a cop out argument. Somebody's useless at everything they've tried? Well they just haven't found their talent. How do you know that? Based on what evidence?

Josh can't waste time checking out an acquaintance's script because he's far too busy doing that for his friends.

If the avenues for professional writers weren't choked with the weeds of cronyism, then maybe acquaintances trying to break into the field wouldn't have to hack through the ankle-growth of shit-eating, keep-everyone-else-in-the-dark fungi that monopolize the time and resources of writers, editors, producers and publishers.

There's thousands of writers in America - especially in the fly-over states - who will never have a chance at getting prestige status in their niche of the professional writing industry. That doesn't mean they aren't good writers. It has far more to do with proximity than talent.

Josh's friends are always an email, Facebook poke, text or phone call away; they aren't forced to be rude in public or to send unsolicited emails. That sort of uncouth, desperate behavior is solely in the realm of the emaciated little guy on the outside looking hungrily in as Josh and his friends like the elite man-cream from their fat smirking fuck-holes.

I just want Josh Olson to know that every single person in the whole wide fucking world thinks he is a complete and total asshole.

Even his many many close and sycophantic friends, his suckup associates, his underpaid ASSISTANT, and his mother.

What a great piece of writing. Thank you, John Olson.

Picasso sums it up nicely. There are many years of hard work, blood, sweat and tears that go into learning how to effectively write, design, create, yet as these processes are rarely tangible, people treat these skills with a level of dismissal that underlines how little people know or care to know about the creative process and its inherent worth.

If Danny DeVito gave Josh the chance to read Rhea's second cousin's retarded step-son's Crayola-scrawled synopsis, I'll bet Josh would have turned the pages with one hand and massaged Danny's sweaty, lint-covered bean-bag in the other all while licking every last particle of plumpynut and sunflower seeds from DeVito's salty fudge-tunnel.

To avoid being placed in Josh's position, your field of expertise should be sufficiently obscure that no one will ask you for advice. (In my case, it's harpsichord performance practice.)

I'm a REAL writer.

this josh guy is suppoed to be a great writer? he doesn't know how to say no to people, he doesn't know how to say no to STUPID people, he doesn't know how to put a positive spin on criticism. How good of a writer can he be, if he doesn't know these things? why would he ever dream of telling someone that they should take a course in writing? that is the WORST advice to give a good writer OR a bad writer!

and this makes me further doubts joshy's ability as a writer. REAL writers don't take writing courses. writing courses are for people who think they want to write, but don't have the courage.

the picasso anecdote/analogy: picasso was a huge piece of garbage, he butted cigarettes out on his girlfriends.

I think picasso missed the point: an artist is not a performing monkey. but saying that 50 years of work entitles him to a million dollars... and if it really took him 30 seconds, then it aint worth a million dollars. maybe a hundred.

and josh, in a way you DO owe it to people to read their scripts. you were once an unknown writer, and you should be trying to help new good writers succeed.

just cuz josh scored with the viggo cronenberg thingy, doesn't make him a real writer in my book. i havent seen the movie, but cmon, cronenberg is an idiot, and all these oscar winning movies usually are awful. remember "monster"? or "the wrestler" absolutely average average movies... or "crash" all movies that were forgotten almost immediately.

JO,

Your stuff's not so good, your contribution to society not so great, your humor not so overwhelming, your generosity not so overflowing otherwise, to entitle you to the attitude or to write this piece.

Darling, if somebody hadn't read your fucking speak, you wouldn't have a say in anything now.
I WILL NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING YOU'RE INVOLVED IN FROM NOW ON.
How's that you arrogant artista???

Hey Josh -- go suck the pus from Satan's rancid ass crack - you fucking Jewtard hack.

From now on, I'm going to pirate all of Josh's movies, ship them to India, and smear dog shit on the covers.

Prat cunt.

A simple solution: You say, "I wish I could, but, for legal reasons, I can only read material that's been submitted that's been submitted by an agent. Good luck, though, I'm sure it's great!" If they push, you say: "Honestly? My production company made me sign a paper promising that I wouldn't read any unsolicited work. They're paranoid about being sued. Sorry."

Many of the comments here are based on a fallacious assumption: that a screenplay just needs one person with power who likes it, then the writer will have it made. There is not a person left in the world with that much greenlight power. In order to get your script made, EVERYBODY who reads it has to love it.

Fairy nuff, and I will not watch your fucking movies.

BB

I think if I felt that way, I'd just write this very article and just give it to the next guy who asked to have his script read...

Although, I come across a lot of people who have no idea of what they ask when either I'm asked to read a little or write a little... And, it is always this very person who seems to know how much writing-time or reading time it will take...

Writer's have been fucked always since day one, one way or another... but everyone seems to want to be one... I'd love to hear hm talk about when people take your credit or try to... Now that is FUCKED!!!

"Matt Bird says: There is not a person left in the world with that much greenlight power. In order to get your script made."

That's not true. I work for a large studio - and I know several people - execs and directors who simply have to look at a script - and if they like the idea - can have it lit in 20 seconds.

This guy is a dick. Pure and simple. If you don't agree with me, read the article he just wrote.

"If we could shine a little more light on our own shadows, maybe we could all stop being such douche bags."

I like this line; thanks Jasph.

Early in my career I would read friends' scripts because I actually enjoy helping others and felt I had an obligation to impart to those on the outside some of the knowledge and insight I've gained over the past ten years in the business.

I no longer read other's scripts. I do not read them because these people do not want knowledge, insight, tips, notes or anything else. What they want, plain and simple, is access to my agent. They want me to love the script as is, hand it off to my agent who will then sell it to the highest of many bidders at which time they will cash in, buy a big house and never write another word.

Further, I have never had a pleasant experience doing this. After telling one gentleman, in the nicest way I could manage, that many parts of his script didn't make sense, he went on the offensive, first telling me that I just didn't get it. He then told me that days prior to our sit down he had rented a couple of my movies and preceded to relate to me everything that didn't make sense about them.

When I had the gall to ask him what he perceived to be his first act break, he looked at me like I'd just asked him the monetary unit of Zambia. After taking the time to read his script and formulate well thought out notes, I realized that he hadn't bothered to take the time to learn the very basics of structure. This is the kind of thing that pisses writers off.

I now tell people, politely, that I am unable to read scripts for fear of possible lawsuits should I have a similar project in the works. An ex-friend called me an asshole for refusing to read her sister's father-in-law's script. Good riddance.

And, by the way, what's will all the crazy anti-semitism and name calling here? I've never seen so many so-called writers with such little imagination.

Great piece, Josh. Right on.

Josh;
What you're saying is practically poetic. I actually teach screenwriting and I've noted this article to present as required reading for anyone who comes through my class. Great work and refreshingly candid and amusing - full of interesting information every aspiring writer should know.
Jude

Wow, what a fucking pompous moron.

Set aside two hours to read a script? Come on, nobody really does that unless it holds your interest past the first 10 - 20. Everyone has to start somewhere, if you don't want to help someone out, then a polite no will do. What comes around, goes around. I've been around long enough to know that for a fact.

Josh,

You're a Bad Cog. Love, TexH

Josh -- Loved the part about multiple rewrites of the email. I really want to be encouraging of fellow writers, and I recently agreed to read two projects. One was horrid, the other was excellent. I'm happy to say that the excellent one was written by a dear friend, and now is about to be a motion picture and graphic novel. The email to him was quick and easy. "Loved it!"

The email to the crap writer took more rewrites than my ten previous books combined.

Now, what's with the Jew bashing by anonymous? Perhaps his mother was bitten by Jackie Mason.

First thought: What is it with you americans and your fucking f-word? Can't you really build a fucking sentence without that fucking word in it? As a writer you could at least use an alternate swear word once in a while.

Second thought: The text reminded me of "I am not Blockbuster": http://home.comcast.net/~vze26qhz/blockbustered.htm

Okay so here's a newbie question for Mr. Olsen.

I've been working at my writing for a bit. I think I've made some progress in understanding the craft of writing. I read screenplays, frequent forums and swallow up all the advice that I can. I also try to write as much as I can, and hope that I learn something with each new draft/screenplay that will make the next one I write that much better.

Looking back even a year or two, I think I've made significant progress and facepalm at some of my stuff that I THOUGHT was good.

The problem is that you can't help but think what you write has merit. No one is going to get up in the morning and spend two hours writing, thinking, hey, I'm writing shit, isn't it great I spend my time writing shit. It's the same with any endeavour we pour ourselves into. Sometimes I fear I'm going to end up like all the X-factor/American Idol audtionees. How do some of those people not realise how terrible they sound? Quite simply, because no one impartial/neutral has told them in a considerate and non-offensive manner. And sometimes even that isn't enough.

But I digress. The point is, I find myself in some kind of writer's twilight zone, where I'm starting to get where I think my stuff might be good enough, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure where the weaknesses are, where the strengths are. As has been pointed out above, I'm too close to my own work.

The only way I can progress is if I can get honest, constructive feedback from someone who knows more than me. It might be an hour of their time, but an hour of their time might help me make progress that would take me 6 months or a year to make blundering about on my own.

So why not just pay some script reader? This is where the analogies with Doctor's and lawyers falls flat. These are accredited professions with minimum standards. You ask a doctor for his medical advice because he has a degree that says he knows at least "x" about medicine. Enough that it's safe to place your life in their hands. There is no such standard for screenwriters. How do I know the person charging 100$ to review my script actually knows what they are talking about and aren't just a scam artist? How do I know they won't just give me the same pat on the back I could get from my mother's reading club (she doesn't have one)? Or worse still, send me in the wrong direction with mistaken or uninformed feedback.

That's why Pros like Mr. Olsen get much more inundated than doctors or lawyers. Because they have a badge (if any thing can be one in this industry) that says, they know something, enough to make it, which is what the rest of us are trying to figure out.

A year and a half ago I sent my novel out to a few people. I thought it was ready. Now I know how wrong I was. Now I shudder to think I actually wasted people's time with that crap. Not only that, but I probably made them think of me as some sort of rank amateur and this will always be in their thoughts if they ever look at something of mine again.

But I didn't do this to be a dick, or because I don't respect their time, or because I'm lazy. And I'd like to hope that I didn't do this because I'm a talentless, no-hoper, moron. I did it, because I simply didn't know any better. I thought it was good enough and had to learn the hard way that it wasn't.

Great article. You're my hero. I have a B.S. in Computer Science, and (like you) constantly get asked by everyone who even remotely knows me to help them fix their random computer crap, or troubleshoot some technology problem. I am just about up to the point which you reached in this article >.

You rock!

I don't agree with this. It is a person of stature's obligation to help those who look up to him. I totally understand you can't help everyone. And, as a writer who gets requests for reads all the time, I understand what a pain in the ass this is--just as it's a pain in the ass to drop everything to go home and be with a family member who is sick. Doing the human thing is often a pain in the ass. But it's an obligation, a purpose, a right and a honor given to a successful person to give back. After all, Mr. Olson didn't get anywhere without someone reading his script, helping him out.

I'm sure it must be overwhelming to have hundreds of people asking you for their help. But there's gotta be a less self-centered way to go through life than to cut yourself off from any sort of larger collection of people by writing some greedy manifesto about how inconvenient it is to be in a position of power. Wah.

What many people have failed to grasp is that these people are not asking for a professional opinion, they are asking for a professional service. It is the difference between asking a doctor at a party about a rash and asking him to give you an MRI on his lunch break.

Those people who say that the Olsen is unqualified to offer advice because "A History of Violence" sucks or because it was an adaptation show a complete lack of understanding about screenwriting and the film business. Yeah it sucked, it sucked hard, and yes it was an adaptation, which says absolutely nothing about the difficult process of re-imagining and writing the story. However, the amount of work that went into it and the number of professional filmmakers who must have truly thought the script was a masterpiece for it to eventually end up in your multiplex is astounding. And as for Josh Olsen... I hope this puts to rest anyone ever asking you to read their screenplay, at least for the next few years.

Its funny, because History of violence is such a totally boring, unimaginative and very predictable film - so i think the real trick is knowing how to write for the self appointed elite so you can get a nomination.

And if people get the impression that screenwriting doesn't actually require the ability to write, just the ability to come up with a cool story that would make a cool movie it must be because they have watched the movies comming out of hollywood (or on US tv), where 99% of it is utter dross which could be written by a trainer monkey in half the time probably.
It doesn't help when you listen to DVD commentaries like say, 'national treasure' where they tell you they had no idea what was going to happen when they arrived at this location but basically just made it up once they were.

Joss Whedon says "Nobody ever improvises on my shows, ever" - the Stargate people say "then he pulled out this lemon to fright him with and we thought it was funny so we kept it in!". Guess who is make more money?

Of course your 'fuck off' attitude is eminently understandable, what with the recent townhall meetings about death panels and people showing up on 'americas got talent' its clear the country if filled to the brim with inbred morons who think they are superman. (and if my commas are in the wrong place, screw it - English is not my first language)

How sad that this mad article has been circulated so widely on the Internet. Privately, everyone who works in the industry knows that most writers, actor, directors and editors are not very good at what they do. Worthwhile products only ever emerge when people have sufficient humility to provide one another with decent sets of notes. There is so much for any individual to learn about any art form. Even Tolstoy's finest novels contain mistakes. So this type of response to any aspiring writer is hideously cruel.

Hollywood refuses to develop talent. It merely exploits talent when that talent has attained the appropriate standards. Therefore, Hollywood has no reason to complain if people who are ignorant of its cliques rules and bizarre artistic aims ask a bunch of silly questions.

The true solution to this would be to spare a few dollars from those $300 million blockbusters to train people to write Hollywood films. Bur no greedy executive in the town would even suggest it.

Kudos, Mr. Olsen!

It is amazing to me how many people are reviling you for standing up and saying what professional writers feel and deal with constantly. It shows that they still, and probably never will, get it. You don't owe your time, thoughts, writing skills to anyone but those who are in the position to pay you for them.

There's the legendary tale of a wannabe who had the gall to shove her masterpiece manuscript under the bathroom stall occupied by an editor. Yes, certainly, the editor is going to excitedly pick it up right there and start reading.

Thank you. Superb article.

Dear Mr. Olson I can only say this after reading your article: "Man do I feel good about my decision". I was asked to produce a manuscript about my spiritual journey. The problem was that I am NOT a writer. It took a while but I found a writer who takes my writings, then works with me to produce the manuscript.

Again, after reading your article it made me personally satisfied that I had gone down the right road.

Sincerely,

Shakti

I think it would be easiest for humanity to accept that we are all dicks. Yes, Josh, you are a dick. As am I, as is the young man at your party, as is the woman hoarding cats across the street. All life is really about is deciding who we want to give handjobs too.

You are, quite simply, my hero. I can't tell you the hours wasted reading crap by people who ended up either ignoring notes or hating me for being honest.

This article, or the essential first few paragraphs, should be required to be included with every new screenwriting software program.

I love this! Gave it to my husband, and orthopedic surgeon, to read with the hopes it will give him a suggestion for what to do the next time we're in a restaurant/at a party/in the grocery store/at the street fair/on the tennis courts/in the gym/at the car wash and a near stranger walks up and wants medical advice.

Bottom line: To all you writers that If you write a script, preferably SCRIPTS, let the "thems" of the world, Josh and any other insiders ask:

Can I read your script?

The painter up above said it best: Eric Roth ASKED to see his work. Yet he continued to chastice Josh. And the painter was working with Eric. Eric could see his work ethic.

I read above that various professionals gave free legal advice, etc. and it didn't bother them. That's not what many of these screenwriters really want when THEY ask:
Will you read my script.

What they really want from Josh is advice & access. They want Josh to read the script and give glowing reports. Then they want Josh to open the door. Then they want to get an agent so they can get the project greenlighted.

As for bashing Jews and throwing out the 'c' word in response to the article, some have already proven they can't write. Josh wrote a piece that struck a cord so strong, that I'm guessing it has already been read by everyone in Hollywood.

Even if people inside Hollwyood don't like Josh as a person or disagree with the tone of his message, there is a collective sigh of relief in the industry. Finally, someone said it. And he said it just like the boys on Entourage.

There are countless resources online to get a script read. Which brings up my next point. The guy Josh refers to didn't even write a script. He didn't even "have time" to learn the craft and write the script. He wanted one more shortcut.

If you want your script read (AND CRITIQUED), then send it to a professional script analysis.

If you want your script to get read by an agent, send it out to agents that accept new writers.

If you want your script to get greenlighted, get on your hands and knees.... And start praying.

If you want your script read and access and greenlighted by people like Josh, don't kill the messenger.

Mrs. Olson: Do you think I should wear my hair up tonight?

Mr. Olson: I don't give a fuck what you do, you're still a fat fucking cow.

if these are the the kind of people who live in hollywood. the kind of people you would have to work for. why even bother?

All these writers that expect people like Josh to read their scripts have very vivid imaginations.

They think their shortcut road to success will be another Hollywood success story.

Instead of being a dick, just ask for compensation.
Typical lawyer quotes a fee.
You COULD be more sociable than a stereotypical lawyer.

Josh, you are my new hero.

Its not the people who work hard at what they do and ask for help (who I have no problem helping myself). Its the people who are obviously half-hearted.

If I was a writer and I had an opportunity for this guy to read a synopsis, I would have had about ten other people give me constructive feedback first. .

Imagine if you were trying to become a singer and you had an opportunity to sing in front of a music producer - but you didn't bother learning all the words to the song and you hadn't practiced singing or even tried to develop your voice. "F..off you timewaster" - I'd say.

This guy talks sense.

Mr. Olson - welcome back from the Event Horizon.

Er, to the people bashing him: I'd like to point out that he did actually read the script. The article may say 'fuck off', but in practice he didn't. He's venting because he put in loads of work for no pay and no appreciation. Like... fair enough, I'd be pissed off too?

People who agree with this article = most working professional writers.

People who insult Josh, express anger, outrage, etc. = amateurs with little or no talent -- and even less regard for professionalism and MANNERS.

# of professional writers in America: approx. 22,000

# of outraged talentless amateur assholes who think they can 'write', yet don't have enough self-awareness to know that they're just part of an army of idiots with a modem and a keyboard: 304,000,000

xxoo
m

PS: um, Josh, that 300 mil is not a crowd you wanna piss off. They have very low self-esteem and very high access to weapons.

Just tryin' to be helpful.

No need to mention that I am a screenwriter (although I just did). I just believe in being selective.

If a REALLY close friend asked me to read their work then perhaps I would.

If a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend asks then I'm going to politely say no and they'll have to understand. This is my profession and I'm busy. Point blank, period!

I'll offer advice, encourage and steer them in the right direction if they want to take writing seriously. Other than that, hire a script consultant. Pay your dues like everyone else.

In the same catagory - people who want you to put in a good word for them or open a door.
Doors aren't opened by someone else on request, they open - sometimes by someone else and sometimes magically but seldom by request.

Just my observation

I have never seen one of Josh's movies. I couldn't care less about him. HOWEVER, everyone here seems to miss the point. He was trying NOT to be a dick. In fact, he worked REALLY hard not to be a dick - taking the time to read the script (even knowing it was terrible) and then writing and re-writing his responsive email back to try to give some constructive thoughts. Yet, for all his efforts, he became a dick in the eyes of the writer and his friend. So, his point is "If I am going to be the dick for trying to do something good", I might as well save myself a lot of time and effort and just be a dick up front and say "I will not read your fucking script."

The writer put the kibosh on Josh ever helping anyone again. The writer is the bad guy here, because he didn't have the decency to accept the honest and reflective response that he got back, or appreciate the huge gift of time that it meant.

What are the exact words you would use to tell someone "no" when they ask? The words and tone should be right, but that seems tough. Once you've done that, you're home free.
BTW, I think this applies to a lot of requests, not just script reading. "I won't _________ your f-ing _______."
Just fill in the blanks.
Well done. Bravo.
Sherry

But could you just listen to my band?
:)
Brilliant piece!

Impolite rogue who writes a mediocre movie decides he's a pro and nobody else is. Sure, he makes a point that is deserved, that far too many think they can write than can.

At least he's honest. Another cranky writer with a lousy personality who thinks he's better than everybody. No, thank you.

Olsen didn't become a dick because the other guy didn't take his advice. He became a dick because he's behaving like one right now in this article.

From a book editor to a screenwriter: AMEN!!! It's one thing for a close friend to ask for a manuscript read, but someone you've spoken to maybe five times? Pretentious. That's time away from my family, for nothing in return.

Josh Olson please read my script. We don't know each other but I really want a professional opinion of my work. It makes me happy to know that someone working in the film industry is so grateful for his good fortune and talent that he is willing to read anything and everything given to him by fans. To all the aspiring writers in the world, here is an example of a man who knows how to give something back. Thanks Josh!

Box Office Psychics has the final word on this situation. Every angry wannabe here should read it.

http://www.boxofficepsychics.com/2009/09/12/screenwriter-josh-olson-will-not-read-your-fucking-script/

Mr. Olsen,

Thank you for laying it on the line. This is a heck of a well-written piece.

I'm a professional editor. The next time someone bugs you (although I'm guessing you are now the one person nobody is ever going to bug about this again), please feel free to point them my way and say, "For forty bucks an hour, SHE will read your fucking script."

best,
Victoria
http://victoriamixon.com

Sorry Josh, but you are the d***. If and when I ever make it in this godforsaken industry, I'll be sure to remember your name even though had to Google it because I had no idea who you were.

I loved History of Violence, but it was Viggo and Cronenberg that brought that mediocre screenplay to life.

Thanks for giving back and being grateful to those that may have respected your opinion.

Mr. Olsen,

Thank you for your submission to our "form letter rejection" contest. We found that it does not match our requirements at this time as we do not wish to convey to our readers that we are pricks. We wish you the best of luck in the future.

Sincerely,
Management

This guy is a total dick. All he had to do was say, "I'm sorry, but I am not reading anything right now. I am backed up with other scripts." Period. Who read his first script and what has this old man done lately? He's probably just pissed because nothing is working for him right now. Loser.

I absolutely LOVE how some people leaving comments miss the point entirely, and they get "sensitive and offended" (and ugly). THE IDIOT WITH THE SCREENPLAY was sensitive and offended (and ugly).

Being a jerk was the whole point! You're an ass if don't help, but you're an ass when you do...because the person you're trying to help is (I can almost guarantee you) new to the field and they have NO CLUE how to deal with REJECTION. Rejection is the manna of the business, and dealing with it comes through EXPERIENCE. I think all the people who got pissed with this just proved how little they know.

Great point, Josh. And no, I will not ask you to read my fucking script.

"It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you're in the presence of someone who can write."

Funny, since this is precisely the reason I didn't click on the link to the second page of this article.

The most AWESOME article ever! Kudos, great job.

It's pretty easy to scan these comments and divide the people who have spent their lives writing from those who have spent their lives begging to be read.

Re: Jones.

I assume you mean those who agree with the writer are the "real" writers, and those who do not agree are not. Since...all quality writers are of exactly the same mind on this subject. Because if there's one thing you can be certain about when it comes to writers, they all think alike.

As a screenwriter who's been desperately trying to make it in this business for nearly ten years, I think Josh Olson is being a bit of a jerk here. The truth is, the only way you ever make it in this business is by nagging, hassling, flattering, sucking up to more powerful people, befriending, marrying into or being related to the people who make the decisions. ... Talent is neccessary, but only marginally so, if I can speak from my own experience regarding whom I've known that has made it in the industry. Josh how exactly did you break into the business, eh? Because it wasn't on account of your great writing ability alone I'm willing to bet. Luck, persistence and chutzpah are part of the equation. Any half-decent agent in LA won't see any writer who does not have credits to back it up, but the only way you get credits is by getting your work made. And the only way to get your work made is to have an agent or be married or related to a director or producer.

Here is what I'm going to do if I ever make it in this crazy business:
I will REMEMBER the pain and perserverence and rejection it took to get there. I will honour the depression and despair I experienced by helping other writers not have to go through what I have. The only way this business will become more humane than the "swimming with sharks" fest it currently is if we change it ourselves.
Not every script someone hands you at a convention will be deserving, obviously. That is why, like many well paid writers with busy schedules I will hire an assistant who knows my tastes, someone in film or writing school. Instead of using their labour for free I WILL PAY THEM because I will remember what it was like when I was a film intern working for free, hoping my position turned into a real paying job, but in the meantime unable to afford my rent. This assistant's (or assistants if I need more) job will be to read scripts and treatments people send to me and tell me which ones they think I might like. I will read only treatments or one scene samples of the scripts they select, because otherwise it will take too long.

In regards to the scripts I deem to be of excellent quality; I will contact their creators and set up a meeting between them and my agent, or a junior agent at the same agency that who is just establishing a client list. I will mentor those people. Even if I can just offer them a little encouragement to stick at it, or even just a personal reply, I will remember what that meant to me, way back when, when I wrote to people like Kenneth Oppel, Zach Helm, Stephen Fry, Cory Doctorow and others and they offered me words of encouragement. I would NEVER tell someone who offered me a script to f-off. Being a writer often means experiencing crippling poverty and massive amounts of rejection. This experience can cause depression and other mental illnesses. People in power never realize that a cruel word can push such a person to further depts of despair. Even just a polite refusal,and an acknowledgement of your shared humanity can be meaningful to a person.
Instead of just ruthlessly trying to defend one's own territory, a practice I saw as all too commonplace in film school and production companies, I think we should try behaving with compassion and generosity to our fellow artists. Film is a naturally collaborative art, not a selfish one. To be practical as well, the person you mouth off to today may just happen to be the producer you need to impress tomorrow. It seems very short-sighted to me to be mean to anyone you meet in a proffesional capacity, no matter how lowly.
Picasso was being a jerk by the way when he tried to charge the guy a million dollars for a napkin drawing. As well as being a writer, I am an artist. I have been paid to draw, but mostly I have drawn for free. I began drawing to let the images in my imagination out to play, and because watching me draw, or owning one of my drawings seems to give other people pleasure. My favourite people to draw for are children, because they seem to take the most pleasure in my creations, and do not think about questions of monetary value. Picasso forgets that the only reason he was famous was because of public opinion and self-promotion. Otherwise he would be just like any other artist who has spent fifty years drawing, for an indifferent public, (trust me there are plenty).
To be paid to do art and to be paid to write is a great priviledge and often just a matter of chance and luck.
How many talented people have I seen go unrecognized through the years? Also, if you really want to make sure you read quality scripts from people, and weed out people who aren't really that commited it might also be fair to request a look at their output and education in writing? Has the person attended any sort of writing school? Have they written other published or unpublished material? This sort of speedy background analysis can weed the wheat from the chaff. Olson is wrong to assume that everyone who approaches him in this way is of low writing caliber. People who approach writers with scripts could very well be people who have studied screenwriting for more years than he has and are just desperate and unlucky. I know I felt this way, times when I have approached authors with my writing, having felt like I had exhausted every other option. It just takes a few quick questions to establish if the person offering you a script has shown a serious commitment to writing, or if this is just a larky one off thing.
I understand you are frustrated by all the opportunists thoughtlessly taking up your time, but your blanket refusal does not seem well thought out.
Personally, I write partly because I want to touch people's lives. It is the most wonderful thing in the world to experience a book or movie that speaks to you, that makes you see that someone else out there feels and thinks the way you do, that someone else understands, even if that someone else is just a character or an author you know you'll never meet. What a wonderful ability it is, to make someone else feel less alone in the world. What sort of writer would I be if I did not try to do the same in my real life?

I definitely agree with Mr. Olsen but he contradicts himself.

Olsen: That's simple enough, isn't it? "I will not read your fucking script." What's not clear about that? There's nothing personal about it, nothing loaded, nothing complicated. I simply have no interest in reading your fucking screenplay. None whatsoever.

I would have left that part out because writing an article shows there IS something personal about it.

There may be screenwriters of middling talent who remain unemployed and unnoticed - but as a very wise and successful producer once told me, no truly exceptional screenwriter will go undiscovered over time - regardless of whether they get a Josh Olson to read them or not.

I am a working writer who like Josh has been a 'nice guy' more times than I count - and have spent innumerable hours reading material that as Josh aptly says 'wouldn't get a D minus in a Freshman Comp' class.

I may not be the Yo-Yo Ma of scripted entertainment but can you imagine someone picking up a cello, spending three months practicing (if that), making a two-hour tape and bothering Mr. Ma to give it a listen?

'I will not read your fucking script'

Best.Line.Ever.

This made me laugh so hard.

The best lines of the entire piece -- and every true:

It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you're in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you're dealing with someone who can't.

OK, I'm a moron. It should have said this.

The best lines of the entire piece -- and very true:

It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you're in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you're dealing with someone who can't.

It's why writers -- even mediocre ones -- need editors.

No, Josh is not a dick. If you have a screenplay you honestly think is worth anything, the last person you want to read it is another screenwriter. Fuck them! As if they would know your plot or characters any better than do you? You want to get it in front of an agent who may want to represent you or in the hands of someone in development, provided you've registered it with WGA or taken some other form of copyright protection, of course.

The irony for me is that it took no more than one page to recognize that I had no interest in reading the rest of this article.

Re: mistercrispy

Well, I would think that all real writers hate reading bad writing for ingrates who don't have a chance in hell of ever being writers, which is what this piece is about. (But you didn't finish it, so you might have missed the point.)

Anyway, to answer your semi-question: Yes. Yes, I feel confident in arguing that all writers think the same way about that.

Re: Mona

You're as clever and honest as mistercrispy, just not as quick pulling the trigger. Reading well is the first step to writing well.

Every real writer will agree on that, too.

The reason you haters are angry with Josh is because you are under the delusion that if someone professional would just read your wonderful script, it would get made. That if dicks like Josh didn't exist, you would be Hollywood bound. Not true.

Because your script sucks. Yes, the one you have been working on for over a year sucks. If your script was any good, you could leave it on the floor of a Garden State Parkway bathroom and it would get made. Good scripts get made. And good writers get jobs. So don't get mad at Josh for your shitty writing.

Hey Josh.
You are a fucking Dick! You should have never agreed to read the guy's script and spared us all your fucking whining about wasting your time on some boyfriend of a relative. You come across as a pompous dick who can use them fresh air. Tak a long walk.

Paul

Hey angry commenters: I know the free WiFi at Starbucks is a Godsend and all, but don't you have a One Tree Hill spec you should be working on? And isn't the second chapter of that novel you started three years ago due for its 500th rewrite?

I've never been nominated for an Oscar; only thing I was ever awarded was time off for good behavior. But I won't read your script either and yeah, you've asked. Right after you served me my soy latte -- or maybe it was after you got me that copy of Neil Strauss's "How to Pick Up Drunk Asian Chicks" out of the Border's stock room -- and while I appreciated your prompt service it was a service you were getting PAID to do, after all. My negatory answer still stands.

(And by the way, don't think I didn't see you spitting that goo-ball into my latte. I drank it anyway. Told u I was hardcore).

And by the way, for the rare few of you aspirants possessing actual talent -- all one of you -- reality slap: Olson's screed is a greater Godsend than that free WiFi you're leeching. If every knucklehead with a cracked copy of Final Draft gets the gist and stops forcing their work on everyone with an IMDB listing, it only means the work of real writers with bonerfide talent has a better chance of catching eyeballs. You should be sending Olson a bottle of scotch, not calling him an asshole on the internet blogs.

A recent survey of professional writers revealed that most did not have any "connections" when they made their first sale. Many clawed their way into the lifeboat without a mentor, without a guidance counselor, without even attendance at a well-known workshop or writing program, against the advice of family (who would've preferred them to have a steady job.)

Their success is in very large part due to their own work. Without the work, no one makes it...with or without connections. Thus, refusal to read (or mentor) an unpublished writer does not actually harm him, and all the vitriol aimed at those who so refuse is wasted effort.

But of course, it's easier to blame someone else than to write a salable story/book/script. It's easier to believe that the world and everyone in it owes you something, that it's their duty to grant your wishes, and that they're just being mean in withholding your measure of fame and fortune.

You are a blow-job. Don't send me your movie.

Why is someone a failure if YOU hate the one thing that makes them famous... I don't get it. Obviously some people liked it if he's still got a job. That thing your proud of and has made you successful blew in my opinion, HA! Your just hating on those more successful than yourself like they owe you something, wah wah wah.

wow i red this n thogt u were really good in that 1 movie. lol wird 2 say tht 2 u cuz u might think im weird. lol. n e wayz i tink u and me, we should rite a movie 2gether cuz ur funny alot and i have a really nice idae about this cat(like a kool kat, you no 70s) and hes prownin round town lookin for that frisky kitty(like a hot mama, reel sexy) and he goes to a bar, but he only gets ugly snakes(the real ugly ones) so its funny alot but then at end he find the rite gurl. So i think its good. plz let me no and I like u, i think ur really gud at what u do. Let me know to do it! yes.

Best thing I've read all day.

In my case, it's "I will not design your fucking research project." It's even worse, perhaps. I basically have people coming to my office with NOTHING. "I'm interested in ... How should I go about researching that?"

"Start by going back to grad school, but this time, go to a real one that doesn't let incompetents graduate."

Ugh.

Best thing I've read all day. Cathartic.

Folks, if you have a friend who is a pro at something you are interested in, let them make the first move. If they are interested in what you're doing, they'll ask. Friends don't enslave friends with extra work.

meh

another blowhard, trying to be hip manifesto by some stuck-in-the-closet hack.

let me know when you have something coming out, and not just in development.

until then, sit down and shut up little man

Okay, Josh Olsen... I read on and you made some good points...but I still think you're bit of a dick.

So...will you read my script?

At the risk of looking like a sycophant- yeah, I think Olson's in the right. He doesn't have the time to waste on unfilmable scripts. Life is too short. (Whatever you thought of HISTORY OF VIOLENCE- and I'm a Cronenberg devotee so my opinion is useless- he obviously wrote something that could be filmed. Getting to this stage is not as easy as it looks.)

Now, sure, I've got some works that I'd like to show to people. But I will show them to people who I know would be willing to take the time to read them, who would, in fact, LIKE to do such a thing. Friends, collaborators, the BBC slush pile, you have options.

Maybe, in many ways, you are a dick, Mr. Olson. I won't fault you for that. The only ones who can (possibly) are the ones you are a dick TO.
Folks, this diatribe is not a measure of Josh's character so much as it is a screed on what it means to be a motivated writer. I myself like to write in my spare time. Unfortunately, I have only one story in my head for now, and this article makes me ask questions about my own perceived "talents".
Forget Mr. Olson's dickery and focus on YOUR OWN merits! I think that's all he's really asking.

I have a PhD. I teach. I get paid for it. I'm a member of my country's professional body.
Some would say that makes me a professional.

At the end of the school day, strangely, I don't automatically switch off the ability or desire to teach. I enjoy what I do. If someone wants help with a problem, and I have the time, I sometimes help them (teacher, my students, friends ...)

But of course, I have the right to say 'No'. Some folks ask if I'll tutor their kids, I simply say 'NO, sorry, I don't do tutoring.' maybe I'll point them towards someone who does. I don't say 'I won't tutor your f***ing kid'. That, in my humble opinion, would be UNprofessional. I'm not sure who I paid to learn that, I suspect the professionals I respect the most passed on the value subliminally.

Perhaps it could be argued that the inability to refuse graciously, without feeling you have let someone down, shows an overly active attachment or sense that 'I'm the only one who can help this person', others here have referred to ego.

While ego serves a purpose, humility has its place too. Mr Olsen's ego doesn't seem to be bringing him a lot of happiness at the time of writing his article. The world won't break if Mr Olsen doesn't read a script, Mr Olsen won't break if a friend thinks less of him for not doing so. If Mr Olsen's friendships are built on the favours he does for the friends of his friends then I guess he needs to tend the friend-garden he has built with them regardless of how shallow the soil might be. If not, then a polite refusal will not damage the friendship, so there's no need to be concerned about fallout with friends. Either way, the world isn't going to end in a hurry because of Mr Olsen's actions or lack of action.

Of course his rage is, equally, a bit of a storm in a teacup, if not a poorly manifested cry for unpaid help from any personal developers who might read his posting here.

For what it's worth, Mr Olsen's rage also disinclines me to view his next film, whatever it is.

I wonder if he has time to read the responses to his posting?

Terrific stuff. I'll certainly remember it the next time I come across any sort of writer of a higher caliber than myself. I'm only just starting out with the scriptwriting malarkey myself and writing is painful. But I'd rather share my script with a fellow writer later when my writing has improved. I'd rather impress someone than have them think what I put down is horseshit.

sorry, but i won't read your fucking article.

rocksteady,
danno~

unbearable truths

- the house painter

Dr. Bob, only read your first few lines because holy shit was that a teal deer. Not sure why you're so proud of teaching. Yanno what they say about those who can and those who can't...

Like Nancy says - Just say NO!

Interesting article. Obviously quite controversial but I think what most people are reacting to is the tone of aggression and hostility Mr Olsen seems to be displaying in the direction of anybody who is in the position of wanting somebody to read their script. The whole use of the word 'fucking' is hostile and puts people on the defensive immediately.

Good points made about how people should be as professional in receiving criticism as they are in asking for assistance but as somebody who is in a position where I desperately need somebody to read my script or help me out and also somebody who always maintains a professional and courteous attitude with people I deal with I feel a little like a little kid who's been shouted at by a teacher for asking a perfectly valid question. And that angers me.

I really appreciate Joel's honesty. I hate it when people think that being polite is more important than being honest because they want to avoid hurting someone's feelings. So lying to them, giving them false information, leading them astray, is BETTER than simply telling them the truth? You can be honest without being cruel and it sounds like that's exactly what Joel was trying to do. But the world would be a much better place if people would prioritize honesty (without cruelty) over politeness.

And that goes for political correctness as well. For example, the term "hispanic" is pretty accurate. Because you may be of Spanish decent but not necessarily born in Mexico or Spain for that matter. But just because you are, at the moment, in the United States and are black doesn't mean you are an African American. You might not be American at all and yet that term implies you are. Perhaps you are just visiting. And if I go back far enough, my ancestors ultimately came from Africa (hundreds of thousands of years ago). Does that mean I'm an African American? And if you are black and American, the terms black and Negro do not disrespect you. They are simple a more general term like "hispanic".

I'm not racist. In fact, I hate it when someone is telling me a story that involves someone they don't know and chooses to describe them by their ethnicity. "I was walking down the street the other day and there were these two black guys...." Wait, why is it important they were black? When I hear this I immediately assume that on some level, this person is racist. They have to be or they would not have chosen to call this person out based on their race.

If we are going to move forward as a society, one thing we will have to do is actually put out some effort, some energy, to be more honest, to be willing to accept that in the beginning there will be those who mistake our honesty for cruelty (as happened to Joel) and to THINK before we speak so we don't perpetuate racism without realizing it by non-sensically referring to people by their race.

THANK YOU.

Despite the fact that it makes sense to me not to ask a professional their opinion without having a business arrangement and not a friendship one, this article really brings it home. I'm planning on blogging my revelations on this article, and will link back.

This candid look at the trouble it takes for a pro to do a favor for an acquaintance is, well, amazing. And I want to deny that I'd look for a pat on the head with only a few notes on making my WIP better, but I had to admit to myself thats what I really do want. Now I've done that, I feel better prepared for when I do have my friends (good ones who've agreed to be my beta readers), and the editor I do hire to go over my work. Not totally, but at least I know I may not like what I hear.

Thanks so much!

PS My reaction to the tone in this particular article comes across to me as just part of Olsen's personality. Yes, it reads a little like a rant, but I sort of expected it from the title, so it didn't bother me.

My sister and I picked apart A History of Violence for half an hour. I know it probably deviated from the script you wrote and all the notes you got from the many people who read it and tried to make it better by committee, so it's not your fault, I am sure. My one-sentence clue as to whether someone can write is the quotient of eff-words. Oopsie.

Star: I presume this means that Mamet can't write.

Has anyone stopped to consider the very likely possibility that Olson is both correct in his summation AND he's also a dick? They're not mutually exclusive, you know. After going back and reading his entire article, it's pretty clear to me that 1)Olson can write, 2)Sometimes people are unreasonable to Olson about their writing, and 3)Olson is a bit of a prick. It's not one or the other. Olson is correct when claiming there are people who write who shouldn't, there are people who expect professional writers to spend time reading their tripe for free, and there are those who are unreasonable in their expectations. But being correct on these fronts doesn't mean Olson isn't a jerk. He sound like one to me.

As a graphic designer, I can relate to this. I've always been an artist, but decided to hone my craft by getting an education. When I was going to school, I realized that the so-called teachers were not doing the students any favors by patting them on the back and holding their hands. I had to do peer-edits and let me tell you, I completely understand how painful it is to be handed a steaming pile of crap and try to find something nice to say about it (this is extra steamy?). Seriously...

The truth is, some people are not artists, just as some people are not writers. That's just the long and short of it. If someone is brutally honest with something I did, I not only appreciate that feedback, but take it as an opportunity to improve my craft. Unfortunately, there are too many people out there trying to be politically correct and not hurt anyone's feelings. This is why there are so much crap littering our billboards.

My response to people who ask for an honest opinion: Are you sure you want that? I'm a bitch.

Thus, I let them know ahead of time that they will be calling me that if they insist that I look over yet another horrid design.

Evan...I meant the number of "fucks" in Olson's spew...but I am not a gigantic Mamet fan, though I guess that marks me as some sort of clueless peon. I wrote screenplays for 15 yrs, we went to classes in DC and NY, formed classes in DC and AZ, studied, had agents, did not have agents, finally got one studio option that flushed...common story. Sometimes I did not want to read people's stuff and did iit anyway or refused, whateever I felt like. I don't blame Olson for not wanting to read things...but a 2-page summary, it's hard to cry too hard...It's a tough business, there are creeps in it, I was one sometimes, maybe, other times, no. All I was saying was I didn't think this essay was imaginatively fucking written. See? Didn't need the word there.

He's right, of course. (Hi, Cog.)

If you've spent more than 30 minutes on Zoetrope, Triggerstreet, or any of the other slush sites, you will feel the pain.

98% of screenplays are unreadable.

Take some time to figure out how to write the other 2%.

You won't get anywhere unless you do.

refriedgringo, producer in lala land, sam longorias, d-unit, doctor m peterson.

so many great comments i forgot what the article was about.

Oh yes a rant. Or more a justification. Maybe in the hopes he would get his friend back.

Her boyfriend is an amateur and desperate and consequently inappropriate. In my life when confronted with people in this situation I try only to be positive. Josh could tell right away (well in his opinion) that the treatment for the screenwriting classes would have led to a rejection. He could have just said a few positive things and let the man learn for himself. Not all criticism needs to be negative or even constructive or even completely honest. Often what most people need when they ask someone successful and powerful for help is simply encouragement and kindness. Many people will pay mid level pros incredibly high fees just for the chance of getting some reassurance. (At least a dozen comments were ads for people of unknown power and credibility who make a great living reading scripts of those with no connections.) The business will be cruel enough.

The business will be cruel enough.

No matter how weak one can always find something encouraging to say and leave it there. If the person insists on more aggressive criticism, stay positive and see what happens. Many will be enraged over this idea saying it's a betrayal of professional integrity but this is not a professional situation. It's the equivalent of being asked to take a picture with a fans who can barely work their camera and after the third try saying fuck off instead giving them a hug and excusing yourself. In the end, you, the successful professional, are the one with all the power. The asking of the favor of reading a script is much more time consuming and draining than taking a photo and all professionals deserve and must maintain boundaries but in both cases one must try to maintain a kind of grace. It's the Hollywood equivalent of noblesse oblige. Unfortunately the enthusiasm of people in the business from this article will undoubtedly lead to the opposite. More people will now not even attempt to empathize with the unsuccessful person but newly justified to gleefully reject them cold. Another triumph of the Simon Cowellization of the culture. "Giving someone the Olsen" will undoubtedly become all the rage.

I know Josh started out in a (reluctantly) generous place and his patience was indeed pushed to the brink but I would like to read a follow up article once he has cooled off.

For someone who thinks he's a writer, he sure does use the word "FUCKING" a lot.

I love this article, and it reaches across to other genres as well. It's a little different, but gets a similar reaction: Artists and designers are asked all the time to donate our work and time for free. The individuals and groups who ask this of us don't understand that this work isn't our hobby.

Did you guys forget that this is Hollywood we're talking about? You really think you need to "study the craft" when most scripts get reworked by a sweatshop full of writers anyway?!!

We are talking about Hollywood movies here!! They suck!

Tony--You need to have something that holds people on the off chance that you get someone with power to read it--before you even GET to the committee rewrite thing. Speaking of H'wood, we once had an agent say one of our scripts was sort of a thriller and sort of funny and we had to pick one. We said, "Prizzi's Honor..." and he interrupted--"Didn't make money." It's a hoot over there.

so many great comments i forgot what the article was about.

Oh yes a rant. Or more a justification. Maybe in the hopes he would get his friend back.

Her boyfriend is an amateur and desperate and consequently inappropriate. In my life when confronted with people in this situation I try only to be positive. Josh could tell right away (well in his opinion) that the treatment for the screenwriting classes would have led to a rejection. He could have just said a few positive things and let the man learn for himself. Not all criticism needs to be negative or even constructive or even completely honest. Often what most people need when they ask someone successful and powerful for help is simply encouragement and kindness. Many people will pay mid level pros incredibly high fees just for the chance of getting some reassurance. (At least a dozen comments were ads for people of unknown power and credibility who make a great living reading scripts of those with no connections.) The business will be cruel enough.

The business will be cruel enough.

No matter how weak one can always find something encouraging to say and leave it there. If the person insists on more aggressive criticism, stay positive and see what happens. Many will be enraged over this idea saying it's a betrayal of professional integrity but this is not a professional situation. It's the equivalent of being asked to take a picture with fans who can barely work their camera and after the third try saying fuck off instead giving them a hug and excusing yourself. In the end, you the successful professional are the one with the power. The asking of the favor of reading a script is much more time consuming and draining than taking a photo and all professionals deserve and must maintain boundaries but in both cases one must try to maintain a kind of grace. It's the hollywood equivalent of noblesse oblige. Unfortunately the enthusiasm of people in the business from this article will undoubtedly lead to the opposite. More people will now not even attempt to empathize with the unsuccessful person but newly justified to gleefully reject them cold. Another triumph of the Simon Cowellization of the culture. Giving someone the Olsen will undoubtedly become all the rage.

I know Josh started out in a (reluctantly) generous place and his patience was indeed pushed to the brink but I would like to read a follow up article once he has cooled off.

If you want your script read by professionals, Script Breakdown Masters will not only give you professional notes, but also a budget and schedule to show to independent investors.

Go to Tucci Enterprises dot com for details.

Mr. Olson,

I wholeheartedly agree with your post simply on the basis that I believe that writing is one of those talents that people believe aren't really talents. That is, they believe that anyone can do it. As a writer, and primarily a reader, I know that this is not the case. There are many books, and movies, which I have read and seen which I believe have a good story that is badly or horribly told.

There is so much more to telling a story than the story itself, and there are few things that piss me off more than people who don't really read and don't really write who suddenly think, "Hey! I have a great idea for a blog/book/movie/tv show." All that's left is to write it, right?

This guy is a Dick. No one should ever go see one of his movies again. Just download them.

First of all, it's a screenplay. Nobody important reads screenplays. The movie business is done face-to-face. In Hollywood salesmen are more successful than artists because artists don't sell. Reading someone's screenplay is like walking a stone dog. The stone dog doesn't need to crap.

In writing (this goes times ten in screenwriting), the difference between a pro and a dilettante is that the pro wants to know what's wrong with his work so he can make it better, and the dilettante wants praise.

in the time you took to write this article you could have read his two page synopsis. is it really that big of a deal? maybe you need to change your rules around stuff - go to a tony robbins seminar, he can help.

Very well said!
Kudos to you!

Yes Josh, you are a dick.

Thank you for spitting in the face of all of the people who extended you courtesy on your way to establishing yourself as the guy who wrote the award winning script for a forgettable film.

I stopped reading after 800 words or so, but it strikes me that I would rather have read the script in question than your masturbatory temper tantrum.

Fuck you very much.

Anyone deteecting some pent-up hostility against the business? On both sides?

Anyone detecting some pent-up hostility against the business? On both sides?

OMG. Brilliant!

I used to supervise technical writers, and whenever I ran an employment ad I got resumes from carpet layers, bartenders, and florists. It was plain from their cover letters that they could not write, and my fellow tech writers and I were insulted that these people apparently thought no writing skill was required to be a technical WRITER. I was willing to give an inexperienced person a try, but only if they had some basic writing skills.

"It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you're in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you're dealing with someone who can't."

So, so true. I am forwarding this article to all my long-suffering writer friends.

There are two sides to this coin. On the one hand, since I've worked with computers for a few years I'm always asked to fix them for people. When the 90 year old lady next door asked me to fix her modem so she could send email to her grandkids, should I have said,

"I will not fix your fucking computer?"

When my son got kicked out of the dentist office for screaming (with a yet to be fixed life threatening abscess) should I have said,

"I will not pull out your fucking tooth?"

OK, that last one was pretty traumatic for everyone involved, so maybe I should have found another dentist. But it was after hours on a Friday, so I'll give myself a pass on that one.

Anyway, the point is you are part of a society and your brilliant little skill is not something to be locked up in your head, only to come out and bask in the sun when you enter the Warner lot.

Now, having worked on the Warner lot, I can tell you that the people you will find there are primarily crazy. The sane ones left the industry a long time ago. Imagine being surrounded by insane dreamers that have no other skill, no other way to make a living, and you have somehow succeeded in their field of choice. I'm sure Josh is surrounded by the crazy. I'm sure the crazy seeps up through his floorboards and puddles up in his kitchen in the middle of the night. How is one supposed to maintain some semblance of normalcy when surrounded by leeches and hangers on? Thus it is understandable that one would arrive at a place where one felt comfortable printing "I will not read your fucking script" in the Village Voice.

But, seriously Josh, you have to write and read for a living. You type on a computer in a well lit room. Try pulling out your own kid's infected tooth. Now that's work.

Wow.

Josh, you know what the REAL issue is here? You are mad at yourself because you didn't say no to the guy in the first place. Was this aspiring writer delusional? Probably. But your problem is YOU, not him. Was it a nice gesture for you to read it? Perhaps initially. But when your ego got hurt from an immature response from the writer, you trumped him a million times over with your amazing tantrum.

The Old Testament has a scripture that warns people not to eat the dainties (deserts just in case you don't know what that word is) of the King because he says "eat, eat" but his HEART is not with you. Well, you were the King in this situation and you did something your heart was not in.

The real problem is the fact that you said yes to something you felt pressured to do, instead of just saying no. You made a choice. And your choice took you down a path you regretted. And your regret lead to a full fledged profane tantrum...and you apparently think it's okay, along with a bunch of other very angry, self-elevated egos.

I don't need my eyes filled with garbage, anger, profanity and rage because YOU, Mr. Olson, cannot take responsibility over your own decisions.

There are people that I know whom the world views as an incredibly big deal. And you know what?...they would never have what came out of your mouth in their heart.

So just as a recap, Mr. Olson, the problem is your heart...but you can fix it if you choose.

I make my so-called living as a reporter now--another dying industry. (Thanks, thanks, I am just lucky.) But one thing I have learned is that a lot of people think if their present job didn't work out, they could "become" a writer or own a bar. Those are two very difficult things, but perversely, writers and restauranteurs make it look too easy. This is why businessfolk are now offering $3 for an "article." Can you imagine offering anyone over age 6, three bucks for anything? But I digress.

@Star, There are plenty of ways to be gracious and encouraging while not overburdening oneself with obligations.

There are also plenty of ways to be brusk with out being cruel.

The author, or more aptly adapter, of this article is a smug prick who chooses to be insulting where tact would have sufficed.

Furthermore, a better writer would have been able to make exactly the same argument in an informative way, instead of that of a spoiled baby who finds twitching his eyes back and forth in order to read a script to be too strenuous a task to be asked to do.

In what must be the ultimate insult, a bad writer has written a terrible article about the problem of bad writers who want his attention.

Josh is what Stephen King called in The Shining; an officious little prick.

He needs to be taken down several pegs.

Josh,

As an English professor I get that shit all the time, "Could you read my paper on post-modern British literature? It's only 40 pages..."

Hubby is an IT guy and he gets the same as well, "I got the blue screen of death and my warranty ran out. Would you mind taking 20 hours of your time to de-bug my hard drive? Oh and don't forget to back up all my info on to a DVD..."

Non-professionals really have no idea what they are asking, but I'm a bitch and proud of it, so I have NO problem saying, "Fuck no, unless you want to pay me $100 an hour. I need the money to pay off my student loans."

MO

I'm sorry, but Josh apparently thinks his profession is the only one put upon in this way. And yet, how often has he - or any of us - casually mentioned to someone we know is an auto mechanic that our car is making a funny noise in the hope that they will say, "Bring it by! I'll be glad to take a look at it!" or have asked a doctor friend whether we should be concerned about that blood in our stool? Don't lie; we all do it. It's our natural inclination. Screenwriters are no more special than any other profession. When I was a computer programmer people were always telling me about their computer problems, and now as a law student, I get questions on legal issues (which I can't answer). You just politely turn them down. You don't have to be a dick about it.

Josh,

I'm a professional writer with lots of statues and awards. Some of my friends, and associates have won numerous academy awards for writing. We often ask each other to read our scripts. And they do. I always try and read a script handed to me by a wanna be writer. Usually I never get past the first page, but if I make it to page five, I will continue to read. I have no comment about your statement I will not read your fucking script, but I would like to make a remark to all those "dicks" that asked you to read their scripts. Before you ask someone to read your script go to IMDB and check them out. Bottom line is I wouldn't read one of Mr. Olson's scripts if he asked me, from the look of what he's done. You want a mentor. Choose well. Otherwise it's just Garbage In, Garbage out. Now for my advice about screenwriting. You should only do it, if suicide is your other option.

I will not read this fucking article.

I'm sure Josh is surrounded by the crazy. I'm sure the crazy seeps up through his floorboards and puddles up in his kitchen in the middle of the night.

Whoa--this is the WRITER! Sorry about your son...I have been there. Have fun today, people--gotta go. I have enjoyed this immensely...I may even work on the s'play in the drawer--Josh, when you have a minute...

@Star, There are plenty of ways to be gracious and encouraging while not overburdening oneself with obligations.

I agree--all he has to say is, "I am sorry, but I have a policy of not doing this. Do you belong to a fucking group?"

Now--for sure, I am outta here.

I'm lucky enough to be considered a professional in a job I love doing. I do get asked quite often if I can help out friends, relatives and (sometimes) acquaintances. I've got three answers: "Yes", "I can't right now but if you can wait we can work something out" or "I'm sorry but I can't help you". Simple. If a refusal offends that's their problem, not mine.

One of the biggest things that struck me with this piece was the obvious issue Mr.Olsen has with time-management. Seriously, it takes you how long to read over a script? I'm sure the 'professional' screenwriters will jump on that comment but reading a script isn't genius level reading. It's rarely going to be more than 130 pages long. Reading and making notes on something that size can't possibly take more than 2-3 hours and if it does, you need help focussing. Feedback is simple: give them your notes. Don't dress it up or try to neuter what you're saying. Easy, quick & useful to the recipient.

Just a couple of personal comments I want to make:
1) If your career consists of straight to video, adaptations and re-writes (as yours does), you really have no place believing yourself to be something special. I could knock out a straight to video movie, most writers could. Big deal. Adaptations? The hardest part of the work is done already. Write an original script & get it produced, then secure cinematic release. Perhaps then you can start feeling like you've really achieved something.

2) You're a writer and should be able to manage better than the expletive laden drivel you posted here. Used sparingly such words can demonstrate anger, passion or a multitude of other emotions. Your saturation of the introduction with such language smacked off a little boy discovering a word that annoys their parents. Petty, very petty.

Now, go practice saying no politely and firmly. You'll feel better for it. Might I also suggest you consider decaf?

An upcoming artist in any genre is not being a dick by self-promoting themselves. I am sorry Josh made the wrong decisions as to which screenplays he read as I'm sure there are many unread ones with redeeming qualities.

I work in the music business, and periodically attend open mics, listen to countless myspace records, watch videos, trying to find songs and artists as good as the ones I work with. While many of these acts outside my close circle are not of the caliber of acts I work with, I'm able to figure out what steps some of these acts can take to improve what they're doing. I find this sort of "free" work keeps me in practice and is also good PR.

20 minutes a day to pay attention to and up-and-comer hasn't hampered me from being prolific either as a music industry person or a creative writer. It's inspired me.

Josh's outlook is different from mine, but it can certainly improve.

Excellent.

I agree with everything Josh Olsen said.

I love the lawyers, doctors and computer people who have jumped in about how they don't ever mind giving their advice or opinion. And I'm sure they don't. Someone at a party asks, "If I die without a will, which of my ungrateful kids will get my house?" He'll be glad to answer. Or a doctor is asked, "My daughter fell on her arm and it hurts, but she can move all her fingers. Could it still be broken?". Perfectly acceptable.

Asking a writer for advice is fine, too. That would have been something like,"Hey Josh, do you know any agents that are accepting new clients right now?" or "If I only have enough money for one writers' conference this year, which one would you recommend?"

But this wannabe didn't want advice or opinion , he wanted a SERVICE. "Can you take my synopsis and then tell me how wonderful I am?" is like asking the lawyer if he would write up that will for you (for free) if you send over all your information, or the doctor to x-ray your daughter's arm (for free) on his lunch hour, just to be sure.

How many lawyers and doctors are lining up now? Would anyone have the gall to ask for their services for free?

And the notion that Mr. Olsen 'must' have had a hand up by all kinds of kind and generous souls who gave of themselves so selflessly? Bull. It is a MYTH. The myth that writing/screenwriting/drawing/songwriting doesn't take work and talent. The myth that all it takes is for the right person to see your work and you don't actually have to be good at it.

'But look at all the crap in the bookstores and on the screen' you cry. Although that may be perfectly true, it was someone's opinion that that book/song/movie was good.

Who's opinion? Well that's the point here. Not another writer's/artist's/songwriter's, but an editor's/producer's/recording studio big cheese, that's who. An endorsement by anyone else is useless. You should not be wasting your time harassing people who you think are your ticket in. There is no 'in'.

So quit your whining and go take a class. You are not entitled to something for nothing and Josh Olsen, no matter what you think of him or his work, is not the villain for not doing it.

Attend a seminar and avail yourself of the critque services that they offer from professionals. Oh yeah, there'll be a fee. Because professionals consider this their work.

And yes, I am a published writer and no, I do not read manuscripts from anyone. And no, no one gave me some special help to bypass the hard work. I wrote, rewrote, got a few articles in magazines, attended many seminars and conferences, got some positive rejections, rewrote based on my new knowledge, became a member of professional writing groups, rewrote again based on even more understanding and submitted some more. I have my fist contract and it is due to hard work, dedication and love of writing.

That is what it takes. So go do it.

I will not read your fucking script:

I will not read it before bed
I will not put it in my head
I will not read it on the train,
nor on the beach, nor in the rain
I will not read your fucking script
So go away! Don't be a dick!

(I will not read it while at work!
I have no time! Now I'm the jerk?)

@May,

And yet you managed to express all of these sentiments without resorting to insults or vulgarity.

Here is a person who makes his living with words and yet is utterly incapable of finding the proper words to express himself to writers who aspire to do the same.

A person with the opportunity to be kind at no personal cost, who contrives from this a chance to be cruel. A vulgar man.

The right of the author to read or not read whatever script he chooses to is not in question.

What is questionable is the arrogant immature, and highly disrespectful way the author chooses to express this right.

Additionally,If I met Maya Angelou or Cormac McCarthy at a party, I might feel pause at pushing my hot script into their hand.

If I met a hack, like Josh, at a party I should feel no pause at asking him to read my dreck; he's written enough it.

One wonders why the circle of such an elite screenwriter includes so many unremarkable people.

Josh could have read three scripts in the amount of time it took him to write this screed.
Seriously, Josh, if you have so little time for your friends that you can't even give a guy 30 mins of your time (ooh, sorry, I know you "professional" screenwriters need longer than that to form your incredibly anal "professional" opinions about their work) without being compelled to write a three thousand word diatribe, then you must be a douche of the highest order.
Which is a shame, because I really liked History of Violence.

Just tell people that you don't actually know how to read and that you have a guy in India doing it for you for $3/hour and he's a real dick and won't do it for free.

What an arrogant ass. Sorry - but I hope he takes his next script and shoves it up his ass.

The unsexy truth about writing professionally (speaking as someone who's been making a full-time living at it for 21 years) is that it's 90% hard work and perseverance, 9% talent, and 1% luck.

The idea that getting a professional writer to read your material will change your life is a myth--one that is cherished by aspiring writers who don't want to put in the necessary work on their craft and who don't have the necessary perseverance to start, let alone maintain, a professional writing career.

If you're at all serious about writing professionally, then work at your craft. Learn the realities of the highly competitive profession to which you aspire. And go about trying to enter the industry in a professional way, not by trying to get writers--who cannot produce, publish, or represent your work for you--to read your material.

If you want feedback on your work, you can take classes, find a critique partner, take workshops, join or start a writing group, enter a mentoring program, etc.

Shoving your work under the nose of a scant acquaintance who's a professional writer isn't a viable, professional, or productive way to pursue a writing career. Nor is posting lewd comments, vicious diatribes, and anti-Semitic slurs on a blog because a writer has said he won't read your (or anyone else's) material.

Josh Olson is nobody. Eeven a blind pig finds a truffle once in awhile. What is an "awhile"? Who cares as long as Josh isn't around?!

Well...I guess we can see why the quality of Hollywood movies and scripts just keeps getting better! The high level of those gentlemen and gentlelady screenwriters!

Funny thing is, Olson once asked me to give one of his works a read - way back before he had done anything - and it was some of the most poorly composed prose I've encountered in my professional career.

This very piece here is also heavy-handed and horrid - not to mentioned poorly punctuated and formatted. Good riddance Mr. Olson. You will never have a readership consisting of intelligent people, nor will you ever break out and make a name for yourself that anyone outside of a certain effete circle of oafs would recognize. Ditto for posterity.