Everyone worries about Halloween costumes that will make your little girl into a slut, but not enough people worry about costumes that will make children and adults look like fools. Herewith are the worst examples we have found so far, cautiously adding that there is no offense to taste and sense that cannot be made worse with enough time and effort. And Halloween is still 17 days away.

​ 10. "Guys Cell Phone Halloween Costume ." "Allows you to type up a custom text message or insert a picture of your favorite caller." Suggested message: "Pls dont beat me up : (" No kid of any age -- even with a haircut like this -- wants to wear it, but some unlucky and unassertive pre-teen will get it from his grandma who thinks it's modern and if she's at the house when it's time to face the music, he's dead meat.

 

​9."Sexy Adult Womens Halloween Costumes Nurse Obstetrician." Okay, we're not unacquainted with preggo porn, but the conflation of birth-giving roles here takes it to a level with which we are not comfortable. Worse, we imagine a non-pregnant woman picking this out and telling her husband this is how she's coming to his office party. She flounces around the living room in it, a pillow on her gut, asking in a half-sexy, half-menacing voice, "Don't you think I look hot like this? Hey, why don't we just stay home tonight?" Sad denouement: he goes for it.

 

​8."Alice Of Wonderland Halloween Costume - Teen Size." Teen size? A very rich friend took us to a club on the Upper East Side once where the girls dressed like this; we think it was called the Rabbit Hole. "Recommended Age: 16 - 18 years." All right, let's say your 16-year-old is still into Halloween. She runs giggling to her bedroom, comes out like this. "What do you think, daddy?" What are you going to tell her? Not to dress like that until Prom Night? Worse, she may not even tell you about it; you find it in a shopping bag under her Twilight poster. Then she says she's going to a party on Saturday, she might sleep over, and her cell phone's been acting up a lot lately. She comes home late from school one day smelling like Phat Farm Premium... boy, we're glad we don't have kids. Docked points for making the bow look like bunny ears.