Red Sox/Yanks Predictions for August

Posted by Shazdeh Omari at 6:45 PM, July 21, 2008

Red Sox Predictions for August 2008

1) Lugo stays hurt (if there is a God).

2) Lowrie proves to be an indispensable shortstop, and we retain him for the rest of the year to the sounds of cheering fans and firecrackers over the Charles River.

3) Big Papi returns on July 25 against the Yanks, and goes 4 for 4 in his first five games back.

4) Varitek comes out of his slump and hits a few clutch doubles here and a few 2- or 3-run home runs there. His current .214 average is deemed “his career’s worst slump,” and I wear my Varitek jersey with pride.

5) Manny proves to be clutch during a few big games against the Yankees, and all his sins are forgiven. The fans forget, because fans have a short-term memory when it comes to Manny, and John Henry is seen gently caressing a picture of Manny in the Green Monster on his cell phone.

Yankees Predictions for August 2008

1) During a game, Abreu runs in the opposite direction of a ball careening into right field, and later, is seen in tears, talking to Girardi. “It could’ve HIT me!!” he sobs, as Girardi sighs and hands him a gold lame thong.

2) One-year-married Matsui stays on the DL, but has lots of sex, doggy-style, with his wife. He aggravates his knee injury and is out for the rest of the year.

3) Girardi realizes his job is on the line when the Yanks lose 10 games in a row. In a press conference to the public in September, he blames himself and says the team needs to “get it together” and “play like they mean it.” It is the 33rd time he has said this this year, however, and nobody believes him anymore. Hank gives another memorable quote to the media, which includes a not-so-veiled threat to Girardi.

4) Harlan Chamberlain lands his own 8 p.m. Friday-night gig on ESPN, in which he talks about how he raised Joba alone, worked in a prison, and wants to be an inspiration for all people with polio.

5) Giambi’s ‘stache falls off in the middle of a mid-August night, and the doctors diagnose a flesh-eating rash. He goes on the DL, but doctors say there’s no hope of recovery. He retires from baseball, but his brother Jeremy comes to play in his stead for the Yanks. He bats .116 the rest of the year and the Yanks trade him to the Royals.

The Sox/Yanks Road to the Playoffs

Posted by Shazdeh Omari at 5:50 PM, July 21, 2008

Weekend of July 18, 2008

I can’t believe it. The Rays are back in first place!?

The Sox need to do everything they can to climb up the 1.5 games they're behind, and everyone needs to start pitching in.

And as I tuned in to the Sox-Angels game Saturday afternoon on the radio, somewhere in the second inning, I heard the commentator yelling about Youkilis’s two-run home run. His, ahem, career-high 17th home run of the season. Good, I thought. Run by run, we’re gonna do it this year.

But, in the seventh, the Angels loaded the bases and, off a few hits against Beckett, made the score 4-2, and we were never able to rally. And Lugo wasn’t even playing this game.

Also, the Yankees won Saturday, and even though I’m inclined to hate that fact, the way it happened made me laugh out loud as I watched the highlights later that night. The game was in extra innings with the Yankees and Oakland tied, 2-2. In the 12th, the Yanks loaded the bases (off a hit, an intentional walk, and an accidental walk) and after Molina fouled off two pitches and saw two balls, Lenny Dinardo (who has a 2004 WS ring, by the way) threw a pitch that Molina bent his right knee into. Ever so slightly. A walk-off hit-by-pitch!? “And the Yankees win the game, 3-2, in the twelfth!!” Yeeesh.

Sunday, the Yanks played at 1 and the Sox were on ESPN at 6. (Thank God. Otherwise, my roommate and I would be switching between both games every half-inning.) The only memorable moment was when Abreu dropped a catch in the ninth, and then overthrew the ball to Jeter. My roommate howled. I laughed. Oakland must’ve been out of it, though, because they couldn’t even capitalize off that shitty defense. They lost, 2-1. Swept by the Evil Empire.

I somehow fell asleep in the second inning of the Sox game and missed the Angels’ back-to-back runs, which brought the game to 2-0. But in the top of the third, Pedroi hit a double, Manny hit a double (bringing Pedroia home; 2-1, Angels), and Lowell hit a single (bringing Manny home) but got tagged out. Tie game, bitches!

In the seventh, Vlad dropped Ellsbury’s flyball in right field, putting Ellsbury on first and scoring Coco, who’d been hanging out on second, itching to come home. The score: 3-2, Red Sox! And Vlad with an error. And really ugly sunglasses.

Then the Angels tied the game again in the eighth with two consecutive doubles. (Ellsbury got one hell of a workout in left in that half-inning.) Delcarmen walked Figgins, which took us to a man on first, a man on third, and—heaven save us—Okajima warming up in the Sox bullpen.

Base hit. Angels were running everywhere. 5-3, Angels. With only one out. Strikeout. Two outs. K-Rod warming up in the Angels bullpen. (Shit.) Pop-up. Inning over.

Top of the ninth. Coco strikes out. Casey strikes out. Ellsbury, 0 for 4, worked his way to a full count. The crowd was on their feet. Ellsbury swung—and missed. K-Rod threw his hands in the air, cheering. Game over. We were swept.

Next up: The Mariners.

Josh Hamilton Will Be Remembered When the Longest All-Star Game is Forgotten

Posted by Shazdeh Omari at 5:28 PM, July 17, 2008

"How long can he keep this up!?" we asked each other, as we watched Josh Hamilton hit back-to-back-to-back home runs in the first round of the 2008 Home Run Derby Monday night.

Hamilton, who had called his 71-year-old batting coach and asked him to pitch for him at the game, had been kicked out of baseball in 2004 and spent his days drinking, doing drugs, and getting tattoos. But in 2005, he'd found Jesus. And now he's back. With a vengeance. After hitting 13 consecutive home runs at one point, Hamilton ended the first round with 28, a Derby record. (He beat out Bobby Abreu's 24 home runs in 2005. Even Yankee fans were rooting for Hamilton that night, saying Abreu didn't deserve to keep the record.) I had chills the whole time. We were watching the highest-rated Home Run Derby in history.

But then, Joshy got tired. He hit for about four outs in the second round, and then, unable to produce six runs in the last round, got beat by Twins' first-baseman Justin Morneau. How anti-climactic. Besides, I hate the Twins. At least, hubbub of the new record set by Hamilton will surpass talk of Morneau's victory. Everyone will forget about it—soon. Which is evident from one of the AllState guys a few minutes after Morneau's victory: He called him Jason! Ha! See?! I'm vindicated. No one's gonna remember him.

And then, we had last night—a grueling extra-innings All-Star Game that tested 26 pitchers, Francona's perseverance, and about 12.5 million people's sleep schedules. Quite a few AL players pitched in for the win—Young (walk-off sac fly), Drew (two-run, game-tying homer), Longoria (game-tying RBI double), Rivera (quickest half-inning I've ever seen)—most literally, Drew, who has been begging Francona to let him take the mound. (Tito admitted he came close to letting him last night.) Notables who didn't perform: Jeter, A-Rod, Pedroia, Youk, Pap. The game, full of new records—game time (4:50), stolen bases (7), strikeouts (34), men stranded (28)—and defining moments—Steinbrenner tearing up, a Sox MVP (Drew) in the Stadium's last year—was, literally, like no other.

In the 15th, a little before 2 a.m., with press deadlines unmet, half of America falling asleep on their couches and the other half drunk at bars, and friends text-messaging "Please, let this be it" to me, the American League won the game, making it 12 straight years that the NL has lost the All-Star Game. All eyes were on Selig after the ninth, though, in case of his decision to call the game a tie. A tie, he said today, was never an option.

Also not an option was fans in the stadium forgetting that it was an AL vs. NL game. The Sox players got booed all night—even Drew, after his home run. What really gets my goat, though, is that the players had also gotten booed during Tuesday's parade on Sixth Avenue. Even Francona, 8-0 in the World Series and manager of the AL team last night, got it: "I learned two things. They want Rivera to pitch, and I suck."

How classy. And yet, how typical.

Omar Minaya on Firing Willie Randolph: 'I Think He Was Relieved'

Posted by Michael Clancy at 5:59 PM, June 17, 2008

After firing Willie Randolph in the middle of the night following a win and West Coast plane ride, Mets GM Omar Minaya had to explain the timing of the dismissal as much as the reasoning behind it.

“I could not do this on Sunday, because the reality is that I made the decision on Monday,” Minaya told reporters gathered for 5 p.m. press conference at the Angel's ballpark following the managers dismissal, which was announced by press release in the middle of the night. The GM chided the New York press corps for putting the worst possible spin on the firing, by reporting that Randolph was fired at 3 a.m., noting the three-hour time difference.

"11 p.m. at night, after a game ... standard procedure in letting a manager go in this game," he said.

Minaya said he considered firing Randolph last September after the Mets historic meltdown kept them from the playoffs.

"It pains me to make the decision, the reality is the biggest fan of Willie Randolph is Omar Minaya," said the GM who hired the first black coach in New York baseball history.

Whether or not it needed to be done, the handling of Randolph firing will go down in Mets lore as another typical organization gaffe. Randolph was left dangling for weeks, and fired without much class. In fact, Minaya, said the distraction over Randolph's fate— which he could have quelled with a statement of unqualified support—was part of the reason Willie needed to be let go. (Talk about circular logic.)

"It was not fair to the team, it was not fair to Willie Randolph, it was not fair to the organization," Minaya said. "I think he was resigned to it. When all is said and done, I think he was relieved."

The 'I Don't Brake For Boston Fans' T-Shirt at Yankee Stadium

Posted by Michael Clancy at 1:57 PM, May 19, 2008

Is this T-shirt wrong? Or funny? Or both?

We tend to think it's just plain wrong. Because it's pretty sad and pathetic that someone was killed over a baseball rivalry.

What about this one? Discuss.

Willets Point Redevelopment Hits Potholes

Posted by Duncan Meisel at 12:30 PM, April 23, 2008

The city’s plan to acquire and raze 61 acres of land in Willets Point in Queens has “no chance of surviving the public review process” Councilmember Hiram Monserrate charted in a letter—endorsed by 28 other Councilmembers—to city officials in charge of development plans for the site.

The plan for Willets Point proposes a smörgåsbord of mixed uses for the area including “residential, retail, hotel, convention center, entertainment, commercial office, cultural, community facility, open space, and parking,” at a positively Moses-ian 8.91 million square-feet of building space, according to an Environmental Impact Statement Draft. The project would use a single developer, but that developer has not been named.

With the backing of the city Economic Development Corporation, the plan entered the zoning process—known as ULURP or the Uniform Land Use Review Process—on Monday, despite community opposition that includes legal accusations of systemic neglect on the part of the city.

The area lies immediately adjacent to Shea Stadium and the under-construction Citi Field, and has long been an apple in the eye of New York’s big planners , including Robert Moses and Mayors extending back to Ed Koch. The added twist in this go-round is the brand new Citi Field already under construction nearby, and a law suit that alleges the City has neglected the area to lay the ground work for condemning and seizing the area.

“It’s our land we’re not going to leave it” said Dan Feinstein, a member of the Willets Point Industry and Realty Association, which has filed suit against the city. He also runs Feinstein Iron Works in the area currently under review for rezoning.

“You might think ‘How can a place in NYC have no streets?’ We don’t.” Nothing’s been fixed here in 30 years” said Feinstein. “We don’t have street sweepers, we don’t have streets to sweep.”

The suit calls for the city to provide basic utilities such as sewers and road maintenance that plaintiffs claim have been denied to the area, and monetary damages to cover loss of business. Restoring basic services to the area will allow redevelopment without the use of eminent domain, according to Feinstein.

“We don’t believe the city should profit off its own misdeeds” said Michael Gerrard, lawyer for The Willets Point Industry and Realty Association. “We believe city should not be able to drive down value then seize it at bargain basement prices.”

The letter from Councilmember Monserrate throws another wrench in the works. Monserrate represents Willets Point and the areas surrounding it, and the opposition of 29 Councilmembers would be sufficient to block any proposal going through the council.

Vagueness and lack of public input remain a sticking points for businesses and other community members. Both Feinstein and Gerrard claim that the city has made little to no effort in reaching out to landowners for relocation, and the letter from Monserrate claims that “The plan provides no guarantees that the displaced workers and small businesses will be treated fairly or compensated with meaningful benefits to the surrounding communities such as housing affordable to the average family.”

Large-scale development projects in New York have been receiving rough treatment lately, and the tea leaves seem to be predicting another difficult path for Willets Point.

Mixed Living: A Sox Fan and a Yanks Fan Learn to Cohabitate

Posted by Shazdeh Omari at 1:28 PM, April 16, 2008

"PRAC-tically a perfect game." my roommate—a die-hard Yanks fan—kept announcing this past Friday night.
"It wasn’t!!!!!" I’d yell back.
"BAYYYY-sically a perfect game."
"Stop saying that! We had two hits!"

I kept drinking that night, trying to make the pain go away. Yet, after the countless shots we’d had (that I insisted were to toast Varitek’s birthday), by midnight, the game was over, the Red Sox had lost, and I was wasted and making crazy “Who will get further this year?” bets with Yankees fans.

I can't believe Wang’s the fourth pitcher since, like, 1802 to pitch a whole game at Fenway. Can't believe I had to hear my roommate repeatedly tell me: " 'Chien Ming' means 'Perfect Game,' Shaz. Get used to it."

Thank God we won on Saturday despite the few crazy innings in which the Yanks tried—and failed—to come back. And the highlights during the rain delay that showed Gabe Kapler’s home run against the Mets made the two hours’ wait worth it. My friend's text message to me after Kapler’s first highlight: "You all hot & sweaty now? They just showed Gabe Kapler..." My reply: "I'd hump his neighbor's dog just to get closer to him."

Then it was Sunday. And despite Papi's night off (if I have to hear "Haha….Papi's BA is 0.080! What’s going ON with your team!?" one more time, I'm going to connipt, I swear), the lack of Lowell, and Dice-K’s ehhhh pitching, my team did good: Yooooooouuuk is breaking records all over the place; Casey’s going buckwild, making and breaking plays; I still prefer Ellsbury to Crisp, but shit, I may have to stand corrected; I didn’t like our Rookie of the Year's repeated shitfits on Sunday, but who cares? Pedroia’s defense was amazing. And Manny, once again, bent the Yankees over and made them his bitch.

And then Monday night, during the Sox game against the Indians, my roommate asked me somewhat mournfully: "Shaz, it’s gonna be that kind of year, right? The kind where everyone thinks your team’s losing and then all of a sudden you come from behind and win the game? It is, isn't it?"

Why yes, roomie. It is. That’s how we do.

Always a Bridesmaid: Mets Opening Day

Posted by Heather Muse at 9:16 AM, April 9, 2008

It has to be tough for Mets fans: last season's epic collapse made for one of the biggest "there's always next year" proclamations in recent memory. They're getting a shiny new ballpark in 2009, and even the day after the last opening day at Shea they get upstaged on the front page of the Daily News by the damn Yankees. It's not even because of any spectacular Yanks news; the Bombers lost 5-2 to the Royals in an away game. No, Yankee Stadium is shuttering its doors this season, and no one will let you forget it. The News devotes half of its front page to pimping out its The Stadium magazine series, which gives readers "the amazing history of Yankee Stadium." Talk about "always a bridesmaid, never a bride!" If this were a romantic comedy, the Mets would be notorious second fiddle Judy Greer. Even the Post saw fit to put the Mets home opener on the front page, and there are times it seems like Steinbrenner is in some sort of cabal with Rupert Murdoch, considering how much front-of-paper coverage the Yankees get.

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way: Yes, Yankee Stadium has about 40 years on its counterpart in Queens. But the lack of front-page real estate for the Amazins is especially ridiculous considering how "made for the papers" yesterday's game was. We get the last-ever home opener in Shea. The Mets are playing the Phillies, their biggest division rivals. The Phils are the ones who snatched the division title from the Mets with one day left in the 2007 season, thanks again to that horrible collapse. Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins is hated for his "We're the team to beat" remark from last year (which, again, proved to be prophetic). This rivalry is gearing up to the next Yankees/Red Sox or Cubs/Cardinals, and despite this, we need to be reminded yet again by the front page of the Daily News that the Yankees had a slugger named Joe DiMaggio.

The Post, however, does not cover the opener in the news section, the front page tells readers to "SEE SPORTS," while the Snooze does have a news story on the opener on page 3. We get a really cute picture of a 10-year-old Mets fan riding the 7 train with the wax statue of David Wright (which does not appear to be online) and favorite memories from fans, one of which naturally was Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner's error in 1986 that eventually led to the Mets' World Series victory and the Beatles' 1964 concert. (Speaking of Buckner, he threw the first pitch at Fenway's Opening Day yesterday. Talk about cathartic! Two championships will wash away bad blood.)

At least the score was interchangeable. Just as the Yanks did to the Royals, the Mets lost to the Phillies, 5-2.

The Day I Made A Grown Yankee Fan Cry

Posted by Shazdeh Omari at 12:35 PM, April 4, 2008

Pissing off a Yankees fan gives me a high like no other.

Don't get me wrong—I get shit, too. The worst was when a guy told me at 4 a.m. that he'd just heard on the radio that Johnny Damon, my favorite Sox player at the time, had signed with the Yankees. The guy laughed at me and yelled, "Let's go, YANKEES!!" and “HELLLLL-OOOOoooo Johnny!!” till he was a faint echo down the hall.

And we were in a hospital.

But anyway, the day I get to fuck with one of them, I rejoice. I celebrate. I call my Mom.

This October day was extra special, though.

I was in the subway when the guy next to me smiled at me. At any other time, granted, it would've been interesting. He was tall with dark hair and wore jeans and sandals—and I love that. He was cute, and I was single.

But I wasn't in the mood: I just wanted to get home. When he mumbled something about the homeless guy across from us who kept dropping his Snapple, I ignored him.

Then he said something nasty about the guy. I looked up, and saw his shirt. "Ohh, you're a New York fan." Go figure.

"Yeah!" he said, lighting up. "Go Yanks! You, too?"

"Hell no. But I loved watching them get their asses kicked last night. They're eliminated! Ha-ha!" I jeered, excited at the prospect of bantering with a Yankees fan.

He started to defend his team, but I interrupted him—after all, I had just gotten started.

"You guys are over! Finished! How does it feel?!" I was still laughing, but slightly hesitantly now. Why hadn’t he said anything back yet? By that time I’ve usually gotten the "There's always next year" mutter or the by-now-cliché "We have 26 championships!!" retort.

To which I don’t pay any mind, by the way. The last championship was seven years ago, and the only thing the Yanks have done lately is spend the biggest payroll in baseball on players who don’t hold up when it counts (read: A-Rod). How humiliating.
I ranted on to this kid about Giambi (the ’roids man) and Damon (who throws like a five-year-old), before I realized he’d been quiet for a while.

I looked at him more closely and saw he had tears in his eyes. I made him cry?
We were approaching my station. Shit. I tried to look apologetic and said, "Dude, I'm sorry. I was just having some fun."

Whatever. He tried to hit on a random chick by making fun of a homeless guy.
He looked at me, his eyes welling up some more. "You know," he said. "People always told me you guys were mean. I just never knew how mean."

Seriously?

What about the guy who refused to serve me in a New York deli just because I was wearing my Red Sox hat?

I tried again. "Dude, I'm so sorry…I'm sorry. Don't get upset."

Nothing.

When the train stopped, I took one last look at him. He looked miserable, and his eyes were full of tears. And, God help me, I couldn’t stop laughing.

What fun that this is just the beginning. What with the Boss’s era coming to an end, the House That Ruth Built being demolished, and the team having some of the oldest players in the league, it’s about damn time Yankees fans start feeling insecure. Then again, there’s always next year, right, guys?