By now you've most likely heard about the death of beloved, and later kinda cracked-out, Diff'rent Strokes star Gary Coleman today. The ex-California gubernatorial candidate (remember!?) died at his home in Utah after being hospitalized for a brain hemorrhage earlier this week. Now, the legendary Arnold Jackson is receiving the customary Twitter outpouring of RIPs and "whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis" references, along with a startling number of harsh postmortem short jokes.

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Because sometimes we get a little patriotic, but mostly because we know you're either already peaced out of work for this glorious American weekend (Freedom Weekend?), or still at the office re-watching that Justin Bieber/glass partition video, again.

May you spend a productive afternoon contemplating the vast accomplishments of our forefathers, and the beauty of their subsequent memorials, and watching this excellent Muppet production, in which Sam the Eagle sings American Woman by The Guess Who...

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A few weeks ago, we destroyed a decent portion of your remaining meme-absorbed brain cells with the glorious photo mash-up "BubleRaptor." Unfortunately, the pop star-stalking dino never made it into New York magazine's subsequent approval matrix as predicted -- clearly just bumped by Joe Biden's "big fucking deal." But fortunately, we do have an answer to the question, What will those crazy Photoshopping people think of next?

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Back in the day, like last October, we were ravenously scavenging for that coveted Google Wave invite that was going to change the way we communicated online forever and ever. Some crazies even bid $5000 for one on eBay. Then we actually got it and the hype immediately died.

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Memo to nerds of all varieties: you no longer need World of Warcraft to meet that special someone. Soon you'll be able to scan that nice young lady on the street and read her Facebook page, or check out her WoW avatar, without actually having to speak to her. Thank a snazzy new piece of tech called "matrix codes."

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Today in things that make us dry heave, an advancement in the art of Vajazzling. You may remember a few months back when "actress" and John Mayer dumpee Jennifer Love Hewitt revealed in her horrendous self-help book, The Day I Shot Cupid, that she had bedazzled her "hoohah" (her word) with Swarovski crystals to help her get over a bad break-up.

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Today we got our proof that collecting Twitter followers is the new Googling yourself: the ultimate gauge of awesomeness, and a testament to our undying self-importance. Following a glitch this morning that allowed people to force accounts to follow them by tweeting "accept [name]," all follower/following counts temporarily went "offline" and were reset to zero... and then the Twitterverse imploded.

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As New Yorkers, we're used to dealing with our own brand of wildlife. We've got an extended family of pigeons holed up in our air shaft, rats in our garbage cans, and a feral human population like whoa. But in recent months encounters with less-than-urban creatures have been all up in our news sources -- from a surge in the Canada goose population threatening our airports to coyotes chilling in the Holland Tunnel. While we did manage to wipe out Central Park's entire cuddly bunny population this year, perhaps we can make up for it with one enormous, not to mention prettyfuckinballsy, suburban Connecticut-based moose that's heading our way.

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As Tim Gunn would say, "This worries me." However, because we love nothing more than to keep you updated with regard to this godforsaken, East Village-invading Smurf movie, you ought to know that adorable Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn has been added to the cast.

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Hyper-local Brooklyn blog Fucked in Park Slope has veered from snarky news updates to girlier pastures, namely the magical land of crafty interior design blogs. Fucked in Park Slope (FIPS) and its corresponding Twitter @EffedParkSlope have been spotlighting the often ridiculous, neighborhood issues of BK's most yuppified hood for 2 years. (Fresh Direct truck smashes SUV!) Its sassy, often downright bitchy, tone has earned a loyal following among Slopians and (gasp) outsiders.

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