C'mon, New York City Babies, Learn To Dodge Bullets Already

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It's really not that hard. Stupid babies.
For the third time since July, a baby failed to get out of the way of a stray bullet in one of New York's five boroughs -- and since the people of Gotham clearly aren't going to stop shooting each other, we at the Voice feel it's far time that babies take a little initiative here and learn to dodge bullets; if Keanu Reeves can do it, anyone can.

The latest tot to fall victim to gun violence is only 2 months old. Luckily, the boy wasn't seriously injured.

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Watch Congressman Todd Akin Explain Where Babies Come From

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Unlike his apparent understanding of how abortion works, baby making at the home of Congressman Todd Akin does NOT involve wishing or magic.
Despite making a complete jackass out of himself with his comments that "legitimate" rape victims have the magical ability to wish away their unwanted rape babies, Congressman Todd Akin announced this afternoon that he plans to remain in the Missouri Senate race against Senator Claire McCaskill -- even as member of his own party are urging him to call it quits.

To celebrate what we can only hope will be a few more months of Akin idiocy, we bring you a video of a speech Akin gave to a group of Missouri Tea Party-ers last year, during which Akin -- and his wife -- explain how babies are made at the Akin household.

Don't worry, Akin steps in before things get too pervy, but the Akin-approved baby-making process apparently involves him, his wife, her womb, and the home the two share.

Unlike Akin's apparent understanding of how abortion works, it does not include wishing, magic, or a woman's body's inexplicable (read: non-existent) ability to tell the difference between a rape baby and a baby conceived with a consensual partner.

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Oops! 37 Percent of U.S. Births Unintended

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In 1982, 37 percent of U.S. births were unintended, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

And guess what?

In 2010, 37 percent of U.S. births, the latest year for CDC stats, were ALSO unintended.

Meaning: Public health authorities have kindasortaTOTALLY failed at preventing unintended births.

So what's up?

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Babies: More Time in The Womb Means More Success in School, Study Finds

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Time to further complicate the nature-versus-nurture debate...

A new study published today in Pediatrics suggests that academic achievement and brain development are directly tied to gestational time -- how long a kid is in the womb.

What's unique about this study, which tracked 128,050 New York City births, is that researchers examined standardized test scores of 8-year-olds born within a normal age range -- rather than comparing them to premature children.

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Bloomberg Backs Breastfeeding: Report

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In an article titled "Mike: Do What's Breast for Baby" (no, really), the New York Post reveals the Mayor's plans to boost breastfeeding at city hospitals.

"He's cracked down on smoking, trans fats, salt and sugary drinks. And now, Mayor Bloomberg is promoting a new health initiative: breast feeding," the paper notes. "The Health Department is pushing a sweeping initiative to prod dozens of city hospitals to get more moms in their maternity wards to breast feed."

Hospitals who want to participate in the "Baby Friendly Hospital" program can get federal funding for "technical assistance." The move would involve 24 of New York's 36 medical centers, and would require that they set up a plan to bolster breastfeeding with new moms.

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You Might Be Pregnant! Pfizer Recalls 1 Million Birth Control Packs

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Time for Plan B?

Nearly 1 million packs of birth control pills are getting recalled by Pfizer in the U.S., because a packaging screwup boosts your chances of pregnancy (via Time). Oy.

The pharmaceutical giant says that women with these sketchy scripts -- such as Lo/Ovral-28 tabs and Norgestrel and Estradiol pills, sold as Akrimax Rx -- should probably start using backup contraception if they don't want a kid. The expiration dates are from Jul. 31, 2013 to March 31, 2014.

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Meet the Bronx Zoo's New Okapi (Also: What Is an Okapi?)

The Bronx Zoo has debuted its new baby okapi! What is an okapi? An okapi is a "giraffid artiodactyl mammal" native to a rainforest in the Congo, and though it kind of looks zebra-esque, it's actually more closely related to giraffes.

The above video shows the new baby, who is the product of extremely careful animal husbandry by the Bronx Zoo.

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'Puppies vs. Babies' is Actually a TV Show

Animal Planet, creators of the Puppy Bowl, have done it again. Puppies vs. Babies is a reality.

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Inside Marni Kotak's Birthing Center at Microscope Gallery

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Araceli Cruz
"If my parents told me I was born in an art gallery, I would think that's awesome," artist Marni Kotak says as she sits in a rocking chair at Microscope Gallery, the 500-square-foot carpeted space where she'll have her baby in the next couple of weeks. We visited Kotak at the gallery to discuss the media frenzy and onslaught of criticism that ensued after we broke the story about her latest art exhibition, "The Birth Of Baby X," in which Kotak will be giving birth in front of an audience.

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Finally, Another Way to Announce Your Pregnancy Via Facebook

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You know how you can add family members to your profile on Facebook ("Sister: So-and-So")? Now you can add your unborn child as well. Facebook has added an "Expecting" option to your profile settings, because expecting parents simply don't have enough channels by which to announce the news of their imminent childbearing. You can add the baby's name and due date, and when you update, the information will go to your friends' news feed. It's a good, easy way to begin the lifetime of social media oversharing that will accompany your parenthood, and also an exceptional prank to pull on one's parents, specifically mine. BRB.

[Today via Jezebel]

[@_rosiegray]

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