Governor Andrew Cuomo announced yesterday that the New York State Department of Health has issued new regulations to crack down on bath-salt abuse, and the use of other synthetic drugs -- which is great; as we've documented, bath salts have a tendency to turn people into blood-thirsty maniacs.

The problem, however, is that the penalties for those who violate the ban don't have a lot of teeth -- violators face a fine of up to $500 and the possibility of up to 15 days in jail.

As we noted yesterday, we have a feeling that if you're at a place in your life where you've resorted to using bath salts to get high, a mere 15 days in the hoosegow probably isn't the end of the world.

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www.mileanhour.com

There's good news today for anyone who doesn't want their face chewed off by some bath-salt fueled cannibal: bath salts are now officially illegal in New York.

Governor Andrew Cuomo just announced that the New York State Department of Health has issued new regulations to crack down on bath-salt abuse, and the use of other synthetic drugs.

"Bath salts and other synthetic drugs pose a direct, serious threat to public health and safety, and we must do everything we can to remove these harmful substances from sale and distribution in New York," Cuomo said this morning. "The actions we are announcing today attack the problem by helping our law enforcement officers enforce the rules, expanding the list of banned substances used to manufacture bath salts, and imposing tougher penalties so those who sell these drugs are held accountable."

The gov might be on to something -- as we've come to find out, synthetic drugs have a tendency to turn people into blood-thirsty maniacs.

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A "head shop" in Long Island will have to stick to selling bongs and patchouli oil after a Nassau County judge ruled that it can no longer sell synthetic drugs like bath salts and fake weed.

Following an undercover investigation -- and subsequent lawsuit -- by the New York Attorney General's Office, "mislabeled or unlabeled" products like the aforementioned synthetic drugs will be permanently pulled from the shelves of the Daze Smoke Shop at 574 Sunrise Highway in Baldwin after a Nassau County judge signed an order permanently banning the store from selling the items.

Bath salts, as we've chronicled, recently have led to an inexplicable wave in cannibalistic attacks -- so in the spirit of not wanting to have our faces gnawed off, we applaud the ban.

Further reading on the Bath Salt Apocalypse:

-Naked Georgia Man Rambles About Tupac and Biggie Before Threatening To Eat Cop
-Louisiana Man Gnaws Neighbor's Face
-Utica Woman Threatens To Eat Cop While High On Bath Salts
-Miami Zombie Eats Homeless Man's Face

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www.zombieapocalypseacademy.org

There's a new hero in the ongoing Bath Salt Apocalypse: New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman.

Apparently recognizing that synthetic drugs like bath salts bring out a person's inner-cannibal, Schneiderman has filed 12 lawsuits against head shop retailers across New York for violating the state's labeling laws by selling the designer drugs under the guise that they're merely "herbal incenses." However, these "herbal incenses" just happen to have been linked to dozens of violent (oftentimes cannibalistic) assaults across the country.

Further reading on the Bath Salt Apocalypse:

-Naked Georgia Man Rambles About Tupac and Biggie Before Threatening To Eat Cop
-Louisiana Man Gnaws Neighbor's Face
-Utica Woman Threatens To Eat Cop While High On Bath Salts
-Miami Zombie Eats Homeless Man's Face

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www.beau-coup.com

For any brides-to-be looking to potentially turn their special day into a fucking blood bath, you're in luck...

As was brought to our attention by a friend who's about to walk down the aisle -- under the subject "Just found a winner for our wedding favors. Let's get weird...," -- several companies offer bath salt bouquets as gifts for bridal parties.

Granted, bath salts have uses other than to get you high enough to eat people -- like, for example, taking baths -- but given the seemingly endless headlines about cannibalistic bath salt users, perhaps a mani/pedi might be a more appropriate gift for the gals this wedding season.

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Shortly after we reported on the spread of bath salts in Utica, at least three more incidents involving the designer drug took place on the Fourth of July.

The first happened around 1:45 p.m. on Wednesday. Cops got a call that an "emotionally disturbed man" had locked himself inside a bathroom and wouldn't come out. Turns out, the 30-year-old was on bath salts and armed with a knife. He threatened cops, telling them to back off, until they coaxed him out of the bathroom. He was then handcuffed and taken to the hospital for a mental health evaluation.

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This weekend brought news of three batshit bath salts incidents in Utica, New York, continuing a seeming spree of designer drug-fueled rampages in the small town. Seven such reports were issued in the last two weeks.

And just within the past several days, cops responded to calls in which a woman was running naked -- and screaming -- through traffic, a man who thought he was having a heart attack, and a man on a roof, according to media reports.

This comes after news surfaced last week that a Utica woman, high on bath salts, tried to eat a cop.

We wanted to know why, and whether bath salts were a new, bizarro trend. Sgt. Steve Hauk, of the Utica Police Department, talked with us a bit about what's up.

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If you had thought that bizarre, bath salts-related news would have subsided by now, you certainly would have thought wrong: Bath salts-dealing gangs are apparently a thing in Muncie, Indiana; Cops found a Utica man, reportedly under the influence of bath salts, hiding on the roof of his girlfriend's house; another bath salts-high Upstate man, discovered "covered in blood" by a deputy, tried to break his neighbor's door down with a broom; also, they are suspected in the case of a Missouri woman who recently bit her neighbor.

While we have made the case that bath salts are one of the drugs you should never, ever try, we still think it's our job to clear up some of the misinformation out there. That said, here are six myths about bath salts.

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