Invasion?

The Voice recently wrote about bugs' inevitable(?) triumph over humankind.

And though it doesn't look like bed bugs are necessarily going to be the creepy, crawly culprits who enslave us, we have recently learned about another species that comes out while you are asleep and defenseless: carpet beetles.

So what's the deal?

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This just in from the Daily News: a most troubling report suggests that the early onset of warm weather could prompt swarms of stink bugs -- and other creepy crawlies -- to invade America! (Invade!)

Of course, Runnin' Scared wondered: What about bed bugs?

Indeed, past reports on bed bugs kinda makes the meteorology-infestation link. Also out today was info about bed bugs at an upstate children's hospital.

But it might not be necessary to worry about these wily arthropods quite yet.

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New mattress technology, not inspired by ancient mattress.

Archaeologists in South Africa have discovered what they believe is the world's oldest mattress, and they didn't even find it on Craigslist. National Geographic reports a team of researchers at the Sibudu Cave site came across bedding made of reeds and rushes, the most ancient of which is about 77,000-years-old. In addition to being old, the bed would've been "very comfortable," according to the University of Witwatersrand's Lyn Wadley.

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Astoria's P.S. 70 has been given the dubious honor of being the most bedbuggy school in the city. It's the only school in New York that's been found to have bedbugs that inspectors admit came from inside the building. Usually when bedbugs are found in public schools, officials claim that the bugs came from the students; but with P.S. 70, "There was evidence of breeding last winter in one closet in one classroom in a school system of 1,600 schools. The bedbugs were removed," an Education Department spokesman told the Daily News. Though the bedbugs were spotted in December, no one from the DOE told anyone because they weren't required to at the time.

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Bed bugs, we haven't heard much of you this summer. So, you had a party in a Staten Island jail. At least you aren't invading our (well, the tourists') clothing stores. But now we find you're running rampant in schools? Don't you have hearts in those little, brown, blood-sucking bodies? (No.) The Daily News reports that your appearances in public schools have tripled this past school year from the one before. As if attempting to latch your gross selves onto children isn't enough, classrooms, their libraries, and "teaching materials" have all become victims of the methods of your eradication. Think of the children, bed bugs! Think of them! They need to learn! A Department of Education spokeswoman told the Daily News that schools are "not hospitable environments" for you. Hear that? They don't want you! [NYDN]

Finally some potentially good news in the ongoing war against bed bugs: insurance. According to a press release issued yesterday, Aon Risk Solutions, Global Excess Partners, and Terminix have joined forces to provide bed bug insurance for "hotels, landlords, student housing, corporate businesses, and leisure travelers." Look what you can get: "discounted rates for mattress encasements and bed bug kits for greater peace of mind." Peace of mind is exactly what we need.

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The absolute worst part is how they've made it so it looks like little bed bugs are crawling around on your screen. Are you fucking kidding me? Excuse me while I go vomit, scratch myself, and burn everything I own.

[CBS]

[@_rosiegray]

​There's now a machine that detects bed bug farts ("gas emissions," but that means farts basically, and farts are funny). The BBD-100 is a personal handheld bed bug detector that resembles an '80s teen movie prop and "is so sensitive that it will detect if even just one bed bug is hiding within six inches of the unit's probe." Paranoid New Yorkers will find the BBD-100's cost of $299 a small price to pay for knowing whether or not, and to what extent, bed bugs are farting in your house.

[Gothamist]

[@_rosiegray]

DNAInfo.com

We're into a map that DNAinfo has up today, showing which parts of Manhattan have had the largest numbers of bed bug complaints over the first three months of this year. 

According to the news site, Manhattan residents made 455 complaints to 311 about bed bugs for the first three months of 2011. Since bed bug infestations tend to spike in the summer, this high number of winter complaints means that exterminators and residents are expecting another bed-bug ridden Summer From Hell.

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The New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene have rolled out a new website to educate locals about bed bugs as the warm months approach and everyone starts to get itchy again. The slick site offers an illustrated Q&A with a streaming voiceover to address issues like "How can I tell if I have bedbugs?" and "Are bedbugs harmful to my health?" (No, but: "Bites can be very itchy and irritating.") The guide comes along with new rules today from the City Council and Mayor Bloomberg, which state that landlords are required to address bedbugs not only in infested units, but in the apartments next to, above, and below. All tenants must be notified about the presence of the little monitors and a plan of action for ridding the filth must be distributed to tenants. Together, with some Xs and Os -- and teamwork -- we can beat this.

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