Life Lessons for Ladies: Tyrese and Rev Run's New Book Is Full of Wisdom

Touchstone/Simon & Schuster
We're not sure why our Crap Archivist gifted us with Manology: Secrets of Your Man's Mind Revealed, by New York Times best-selling authors (seriously, not a joke) Tyrese Gibson and Rev Run (of respective 2 Fast 2 Furious and Run-D.M.C. fame). Maybe he's trying to cultivate our appreciation of fine crap. Maybe he just had too much crap on his hands. Maybe he's trying to spread his mission statement -- knowledge is power -- to the youth.

Whatever his mysterious reasoning, we now have the definitive tome of manly secrets clutched in our hot little hands. Watch out, men! We know everything you've been holding back for centuries, and we're here to spill.

As we were most definitely not expecting from a book that promised to reveal the answers to such pressing questions as, "Will he ever change? Why won't he put a ring on it!? Should I let him go? WHAT IS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD?" Manology opens with a prayer for our woefully insecure lady souls.

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New York Wants to Take Away Youngsters' Red-Blooded American Right to Tan

In what will certainly be seen as terrible, horrible, no good, very bad news by the cast of the Jersey Shore, New York state legislators want to ban indoor tanning for under-18-year-olds. That would make New York state horribly pale. It would also make New York state the first in the nation to ban indoor tanning for youngsters, and probably ruin a LOT of proms, at least until people get used to not being orange. The American Cancer Society has named this ban one of the top priorities of this legislative session, and while we'd like to popularize pasty legs as much as anyone, we can't help wondering if there are bigger fish to, proverbially, fry. Also, you can always go outside, you guys (we hear it's good for you)! New Jersey. [WSJ]

Who Will Destroy America? Little Boys With Pink Toenails.

Some of our nation is up in arms over a recent J.Crew ad of a little boy, Beckett, who's the son of designer Jenna Lyons. In the image, Lyons is painting Beckett's toenails hot pink, and the two are having a grand old time. Beckett is also sporting a rather Frenchy striped long-sleeved tee, and dark-framed glasses. So, Beckett is stylish, like his mom. This ad has met with shock and horror from Americans who feel that a little boy with painted toenails could destroy the world as we know it.

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