Gun-Toting Robber Hits Greenpoint, Williamsburg, and Jackson Heights

hipster robber.jpeg
A man has robbed five Brooklyn and Queens businesses at gunpoint, and cops want your help bringing this jerk to justice.

Police say that he began his crime spree on Sept. 25, around 12:15 a.m., when he stormed into a Greenpoint Dunkin Donuts at 356 McGuiness Boulevard, shot a gun, and fled with cash.

The suspected perp then hit a Williamsburg Capital One Bank, located at 185 Broadway, on Oct. 18.

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On Almost Running Into Marty Markowitz Glad-Handing Abroad

Marty and Jamie with two grooms the day before the big fine was announced
On Same-Sex Sunday, we ran into Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz and his now infamous wife, Jamie "First Lady of Brooklyn" Snow. He was congratulating couples, taking pictures with them with his wife, and cracking jokes about how joyous it had been to marry Jamie in the same location. (He didn't yet know that in about 24 hours, he was going to find out the decision to spend a little too much time with her was going to someday cost him $20,000.) Our favorite gem from the Post's story on Markowtiz's fine was this: "What they're saying is they don't recognize my role (in promoting the city and Brooklyn) beyond the borders of Brooklyn. They don't believe my wife has any role and they're wrong. You go to Europe, other countries, being borough president [of] Brooklyn is a big thing there."

After reading this and picking ourselves off the floor from laughing, we remembered an experience we had abroad almost running into the Brooklyn Beep.

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Argument Over Bill at Park Slope Nail Salon Leads to Chair-Throwing Rampage

French pedicure = disaster.
Today Brooklyn blog Fucked in Park Slope reports on an incident that occurred at what you'd imagine to be a perfectly respectable and generally rage-free (save the cutting of cuticles) zone: A nail salon on Fifth Avenue near Carroll Street. Specifically, H&L Nail Spa. And yet, there was rage. A lot of rage. According to FIPS reader MacKenzie Fegan, who was there during the "most violent nail salon encounter that you're likely to hear about all day," it all started when a teenage girl got a French pedicure (always a bad idea -- ugly, plus, they cost more). She couldn't pay the bill, which led to a call to her parents, her parents' arrival at the salon, her father's screaming in rage, everyone screaming back, and chairs being thrown.

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Williamsburg's McCarren Park Has a Dominatrix

Imagine our pleasure when we stumbled upon this delightful video in the "pets and animals" section of YouTube (the things we do for you!). Here is a dominatrix doing what she does best in McCarren Park. People around her range from moderately amused to completely oblivious. This summer is shaping up to be quite interesting. (If you happen to be or know this lovely gal and her leashed companion, please, get in touch.)
[JDoll // @thisisjendoll]

Postal Service Rather Insensitive About Hipster Attachment to 11211 Zip Code

As Joe pointed out last week, certain Williamsburg residents are now being informed by mail that they will be losing their 11211 zip code. This is a big deal, because even though almost no one actually gets mail anymore these days, except for horrible junk mail we don't want anyway, zip codes are meaningful, and we become weirdly attached to our own. Now we have a copy of the totally generic letter being sent out by the U.S. Postal Service, which coldly informs our recipient that "change is not always easy or convenient, but your new ZIP Code will provide additional room for growth in the community and effective mail delivery for years to come." C'mon USPS, know your audience!

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L Train Segregates Williamsburg From Rest of Civilization This Weekend

Alert! The L train is screwing everyone yet again this weekend. The entire line from Eighth Avenue to Broadway junction will be doing absolutely nothing as far as going anywhere and will instead be sitting on its ass and pointing and laughing at you. Rage on, Williamsburg-trapped humans! Or...hop onto a free shuttle bus!

Adding insult to injury, we hear that two weekends after that, service from Eighth Avenue to 14th Street will be shut down. Plan ahead. Thanks for this pro-tip from Runnin' Scared alum Mr. Foster Kamer.

Dumbo Gets Free Wi-Fi; Manhattan's Paid Version to Follow

As of today, Dumbo, Brooklyn, is the first -- and only -- location in the city to offer a free wireless network for the neighborhood. It's called Dumbo Wi-Fi, and it will be available outside, in streets, parks, and plazas, between the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges -- including in the newly finished and beauteous Brooklyn Bridge Park -- reports the New York Times. (Dumbo residents, let us know if you can pick up a signal inside, too.)

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East River Ferry Service Coming to Brooklyn Next Month

via Brooklyn Paper
If you live in Brooklyn and need to get to downtown Manhattan or Midtown every day for work, you must be hurting pretty badly right now. The L and G trains are always swamped in these summer (read: hot and sticky) months, and there's no other way around it. But starting next month, North Brooklynites will have another option for travel. The Brooklyn Paper reports that ferry service is coming to stops along the East River in Greenpoint, Williamsburg, and Long Island City. New York Waterway CEO Paul Goodman told the paper that the ferries will come every 20 minutes weekdays from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. so riders "don't think of it as appointment ridership." The cost of the ferries is troubling, though: $4 for a single ride and $140 for a monthly pass. That adds up after a while! [Via Curbed]

Everybody Is Making Posters About Their Boroughs Now! Updated

Dear Everyone,

Continuing in the printed fun begun by a Brooklyn print shop hatin' on Manhattan and a Manhattanite hatin' back, we have more graphic fun! Everyone wants to represent their borough! Everybody wants in on the action! We are a wordy, poster-happy peoples. Laughing Squid offers up the one at right, from Dog and Pony Show, representing the borough left behind:

Aw, Staten Island! You're so cute sometimes.

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Manhattan Tells Brooklyn to Suck It

James Campbell Taylor
Dear Boroughs,

Last week we wrote of a "lighthearted jab at that other borough across the river," for sale on Etsy from the Fourth Floor Print Shop. In it, Brooklyn told Manhattan that it was ugly and, basically, that it was over it. Manhattan has now written back, or at least, one Manhattanite has. James Campbell Taylor sent us his "considered response" (at right) which is not available on Etsy -- but you can buy it from his site.

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