Steven Thrasher

The lawn is green and full, just in time to have a big ass tent plopped down to make the grass RIP.

One of the Great Mysteries of Brooklyn which has long perplexed us is what happens every year to the Cherry Esplanade at the Brooklyn.

The Cherry Esplanade is a treasure, especially in April. The grove comprises one of the most beautiful collection of blossoming cherry trees in the state, if not along the East Coast. (Indeed, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden is the ideal spot, we can personally attest, to practice walking outdoors if you ever find yourself needing to practice walking in public arenas without too much congestion for some reason.)

But it has always baffled us just why this Nirvana like grove with the beautiful lawn and the gorgeous rows of meticulously cared for trees is sullied annually. During the garden's annual Sakura Matsuri cherry blossom festival, this lawn is blemished with a big ass tent, which not only tramples the grass for damn near a year (it was fenced off until last week), but kind of ruins the idyllic setting. Really -- if so much thought is put into making this spot so beautiful (and it really is stunning), why is it blemished at the height of its season?

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"It gives cyclists and pedestrians their fair share of the space," Michael Murphy, spokesman for Transportation Alternatives, told Runnin' Scared. "Right now, drivers are getting the lion's share. Cyclists and walkers are sort of squeezed together for too small an amount of space. This helps alleviate that."

"We do feel that the park is sort of like Brooklyn's backyard," he added.

But "ultimately, it's inappropriate for someone to bring something as large and dangerous as a vehicle into a backyard."

Here is what the plans look like (from the Prospect Park Alliance):

Prospect Park Alliance

Follow Victoria Bekiempis @vicbekiempis.

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A man has robbed five Brooklyn and Queens businesses at gunpoint, and cops want your help bringing this jerk to justice.

Police say that he began his crime spree on Sept. 25, around 12:15 a.m., when he stormed into a Greenpoint Dunkin Donuts at 356 McGuiness Boulevard, shot a gun, and fled with cash.

The suspected perp then hit a Williamsburg Capital One Bank, located at 185 Broadway, on Oct. 18.

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Miss Heather of New York Shitty snapped the above photo (and some others) of what the L Magazine is dubbing the "Hipster Christmas Tree." As the Bible tells us, Brooklyn and the designation of hipster are never too far apart.

New York Shitty

[Ed: We are going to take this moment to ask, in the spirit of Christmas, if we can stop the rote equation of hipster and Brooklyn in 2012, and if we can maybe, just maybe, retire the term "hipster" altogether. Wouldn't that be festive?]

FYI: The "tree" is at the corner of Bedford and North 12th. Get your picture taken with it for this year's cards now, before someone misidentifies it as trash and throws it away. If you're behind this artistic creation, get in touch.

New York Shitty via The L Magazine
Related: The 'Hipster'-est Words in NPR's Definitive Piece About Hipsters

[JDoll / @thisisjendoll]

Go to Runnin' Scared for all our latest news coverage.

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via OSA

What with the recent art gallery "poop mystery" and now the latest problem in McCarren Park, things seem to have taken something of a scatalogical turn in these late-summer days in New York City. The Brooklyn Paper reports that nannies and parents taking their kids to McCarren Park to play are tired of drunks using the playground "as their own personal toilet." Seems a fair thing to be tired of, especially given the existence of restrooms -- however imperfect they may be -- in the park.

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In honor of surviving the earthquake on Tuesday (congrats, all of us!), Joe Khay at Citizen Ink on Avenue U in Brooklyn created a "Survived the Quake" tattoo, kind of as a joke. Surprisingly, someone actually got it. The tattoo recipient, Jonathan Berg, 21, has 14 other tattoos, so perhaps it was time to venture beyond the usual options. How many Calvin and Hobbes depictions can a man have before starting to take himself slightly less seriously, anyway? According to the guys at Citizen Ink, Berg is the only one who's gotten the quake tattoo, as of this moment, but they have a few more customers lined up to come in and get it. Do not judge: We all heal in our own ways, including by inscribing things into our pale, fleshy waist-skin!

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Animal husbandry 101, city dweller! Kidding. Actually, that's damn fascinating.

Chicken -- Mr. Ms. Chicken? -- has a Craigslist post, too.

Did someone lose a chicken? (Brooklyn)
Date: 2011-08-17, 10:01AM EDT
Reply to: comm-m7gvj-2551294195@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Did someone lose a chicken? I found a chicken in my neighborhood last night, sitting on top of a windshield of a truck. If you are the owner of this chicken, please describe to me the neighborhood you live in and exactly what the chicken looks like so I know that it will not end up at KFC. Thank you, and this is not a joke.

Brownstoner says, "If you're out a chicken in your backyard coop, write to lostchickenbrooklyn@yahoo.com." We wrote, even though we are not a chicken, in hopes of further details that might end this chicken's travail. We can't help it; we're suckers for adorable or sort of weird-looking animals that might be in trouble.

Update! We have spoken to the finder of the chicken. His name is Steve Chung, and he is 39. He and his girlfriend found the chicken while walking in Brooklyn after dinner last night. He told us, "We saw a guy standing by the chicken, which was on top of a truck, on the windshield grasping onto the wipers. The guy was petting and kind of guarding it -- he stopped it from being hit by a stick."

A group began to congregate to figure out what to do. They called 311; they tried to put the chicken behind a fence (the chicken walked out); and finally, Chung and his girlfriend, whose parents have chickens, took it home.

This is the rabbit that scared the chicken (via Steve Chung).

"I finally relented," he said. "The chicken probably would have gotten run over. I have a rabbit in the kitchen, and I thought the rabbit -- which has attacked a dog before -- might react badly, but the rabbit was fine. The chicken freaked out and flew up onto our sink. So we decided to put it in a big cardboard box, apparently they're O.K. with that, and we fed her some raw corn, and she fell asleep."

Cutest chicken detail ever: "The chicken was very tired, and her eyes were closing as we carried her back."

Today, however, the chicken has been clucking loudly all day, as chickens do, so Chung and his girlfriend are ever more eager to find her a good home or, if possible, her owner.

"I've gotten a few emails," he said, "Including a guy from Park Slope who he says he has chickens and it's not his but he'd be willing to adopt her. Another said he'd give me advice."

Surprisingly, nobody's trying to be funny!: "I'm shocked i haven't gotten a single joke email. People have been pretty nice about the whole thing."

Does the chicken have a name? "I didn't name her, but my girlfriend has been calling her Clucky, which I think is just an O.K. name," says Chung.

Do you recognize Clucky? You can still get in touch via lostchickenbrooklyn@yahoo.com.

Steve Chung

Lost in Brooklyn: A Chicken [Brownstoner]

[JDoll / @thisisjendoll]

Go to Runnin' Scared for all our latest news coverage.

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via

Remember when the boroughs were sending each other love and/or hate notes? Hate is a certain kind of love, no? Anyway, now the neighborhoods have gotten involved. Specifically, Williamsburg, which has its own share of PR issues but is lashing out at Park Slope and telling it where it truly belongs, as evidenced by this photo snapped by New York Shitty's Miss Heather at North 3rd Street. It's unclear whether this missive is meant toward the entire neighborhood of Park Slope or Park Slopers invading Williamsburg, but it's sort of like the hipster calling the kettle a kettle. We imagine these unlikely bedfellows are united, at the very least, in their dislike of Manhattan. [NewYorkShitty]

Marty and Jamie with two grooms the day before the big fine was announced

On Same-Sex Sunday, we ran into Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz and his now infamous wife, Jamie "First Lady of Brooklyn" Snow. He was congratulating couples, taking pictures with them with his wife, and cracking jokes about how joyous it had been to marry Jamie in the same location. (He didn't yet know that in about 24 hours, he was going to find out the decision to spend a little too much time with her was going to someday cost him $20,000.) Our favorite gem from the Post's story on Markowtiz's fine was this: "What they're saying is they don't recognize my role (in promoting the city and Brooklyn) beyond the borders of Brooklyn. They don't believe my wife has any role and they're wrong. You go to Europe, other countries, being borough president [of] Brooklyn is a big thing there."

After reading this and picking ourselves off the floor from laughing, we remembered an experience we had abroad almost running into the Brooklyn Beep.

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The party will be in Prospect Park on August 27, two days before Jackson would turn 53 if he were still alive.

sthrasher@villagevoice.com | @steven_thrasher

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